Today we skipped our normal routine of doing school in the morning and then running errands, and instead took off early for what we call "furniture row". We were in search of a chair for the kids' bedroom and a place to store shoes by the front door (a shoe cupboard, for lack of a better term!). We had tremendous success, and even in less time than we were expecting! And Kevin and I were thrilled that we did it all without a translator friend along with us! (We did call on one friend though to talk to the lady at the store we'd purchased our sofa from, which broke the second day we had it, to try to work out some repair details.) That aside, we felt a huge sense of accomplishment in being able to be out and about and do more things on our own in spite of the language barrier. AND I'm really pumped about the orange pleather chair with the cow print pillow that is big enough to fit me and all the kids on it for our reading time at night before bedtime! (The pic is of the kids as they were waiting at the furniture place for us to get the pricing and delivery details in order.)
On a more reflective note, I was able to put my finger on what seems to be pushing my "sad buttons" more these days. I've noticed that I will have emotional swings of sadness that wash over me every now and then--which is to be expected, considering the world we've left behind. But I keep trying to tell myself that many others do the same thing that we're doing in leaving loved ones behind to move to another place. But what I realized is that these holes that we have from leaving friends, activities, and what is familiar behind are holes that really can't be filled at this time. If I was moving to another city in the US, then my plan would be to establish as similar a lifestyle as possible to that which I'd had in Dallas as quickly as possible. I'd find playgroups to join and fellowship opportunities for me; maybe an area of service outside the home. But because our goal in being here is to develop meaningful relationships with CHINESE people in order to be people of influence among them, I'm much more limited. There are other Westerners here, many whom I really enjoy spending time with. But again, the goal is to reach the national people. However, I'm realizing that is extremely difficult at this point when my vocab is pretty much limited to hello, goodbye, the kids ages and genders, and answering that yes, they are all mine! (oh, and I am learning some fruit and vegetables also this week!)
So basically, even if we do meet others here who speak my language and might be willing to be my friend, it seems like that would be only a temporary investment as I think in terms of long-term goals. (But don't worry. We're not completely isolating ourselves from other English speakers because of this! Just trying to be wise and not over-commit. We even had a friend from Dallas who teaches at the international school over for dinner tonight. So no, we're not getting too carried away with all of this!) Which, Kevin and I agree, leaves us in kind of a tough spot. But the great news is that I was just reminded while reading a devo from the passage in Jn. 4 about the Samaritan woman at the well, that our father offers us living water through his son--water that keeps us from ever thirsting. So even when I do have these holes relationally that are unfilled, and really need to stay so for at least the time being, I have a source to turn to that can fill as many as arise! And it will never run dry. I think the hard part is being comfortable enough with this tension in my life--knowing that the holes are there and that I don't have to fear any loneliness or pain that may come from them--and being real and honest enough to let Him be the one to fill up each one. Talk about learning greater daily dependence on Him! Guess that's what we're here for anyway, huh?
Okay, thanks for letting me journal here in public! On a lighter note--our friend who came over for dinner tonight who teaches at the international school offered a huge labor of love--to babysit for Kevin and I to have a date night next week! I didn't know how much I was looking forward to that until it really looked like it was going to happen. But wow, talk about being excited about something! I'm sure I'll have an entire blog entry dedicated just to it. . . :) Love my kiddos, but love a little bit of time away as well!
