Blessed are the flexible...

...for they shall bend and not break! This is a quote a friend shared with me concerning surviving life in China and the certain instability it brings. Quite timely considering how we have been able to practice our flexibility this past week....

We received a phone call from our landlord on Saturday a week and a half ago, telling us they had decided to sell our apartment in which we are living. We still have a year and a half left on our lease, but by Chinese law the owner is really under no obligation to us. So our landlord is saying that she is only going to sell to someone who will keep our current lease agreement, but we know enough to know that the chances of that happening are slim to none! Because our landlord is a keen business woman, she was crafty enough to wait until the week after she'd received our next 6-months lease payment; which leaves us in this pickle. We have a clause in our lease that says we can't break our lease agreement without having to pay a penalty fee; the landlord however can sell the apartment at will. So we are stuck not being able to look for another apartment to rent without having to pay a steep penalty while she has 6 months of the apartment being paid for by renters in which she can have people coming whenever to look at buying the apartment. Now the good news is, we are assuming that we should have no problem getting our rent money back for the months we don't live here, assuming the apartment does sell before our August 15th date; but we haven't even clarified that yet at this point! We're just going off of precedence from what others have experienced... We've also found out that even if they sell our apartment today, they should give us one month legally before they can force us to leave. So we're thankful that our apartment is not too big and has very little storage space, leaving us living off of necessities rather than the "stuff" that can so easily accumulate!!

Our other area of flexibility practice came after Kevin's recent discussions with our potential business partner who lives in Beijing. After this past week's meeting, it seems like the business that we thought our friend would have started by now still has quite a way to go--which means we are still quite a ways away from that being a possible visa option for us! Considering that our student visa status is up in April, we're obviously counting the days and really putting to pr what our next step is. Kevin is more than done with being a student--he's really flown through all the material they have to offer and is honestly just ready to be done in the classroom after almost 3 years. I, on the other hand, feel like I've really hit my groove this year as far as hitting some major mile markers in language, and would LOVE the chance to devote more time to my studies. So our best option at this point is for me to go to school as a full-time student starting this fall (which would be 4 mornings a week), being as all 4 kids can be in school at that point (Noah going each morning for half-days either at the international school or possibly even the Chinese local school--still debating and pr-ing over that one!); this would provide me a student visa and Kevin and "accompanying spouse" visa--enough for our family to stay and have another year to figure out what long-term visa options might be available.

With all this instability and how quickly even the biggest things in life change here with such a feeling of being so out-of-control, I'm really thankful for the "experiment" I've been running for the last 3 weeks! As I mentioned in my last post, I've just come off this week of a "hostessing sabbatical", and I am so refreshed and renewed from the time! I am thrilled to announce that my hopes were surpassed; I was truly able to feel the difference of stillness and peace in my heart as the weeks progressed and I was able to be still longer and "go deeper" in my time with the Maker. It is a difficult thing to describe. I don't think anyone on the outside will see any major life change as a result of the past 3 weeks. But I also know that a change was wrought in my heart. A yearning for intimacy with Him re-awakened. A desire to know fully and be more fully known. A sense of joy over just being His child rather than necessarily seeing of being a part of His work. I am wondering if this "experiment" was providential in His timing, knowing the hurdles we're having to face now with the instability of knowing we might have to pack up and move at any given moment and knowing that we, after one and a half years of thinking we had a great business plan in motion, now seem to be back to square one in how to stay in this place we now consider home. I can truly say in the midst of this chaos that peace reigns--in our hearts and in our homes in an incredible way! And now we're back in the saddle again; we picked right up with our schedule of hostessing and spending time with friends. One slight difference--we're trying to pr through each opportunity and use our time as wisely as possible, and we're going into this next semester feeling more re-charged than usual!

Kevin walked in the door from class last week to find Karis sitting with our household helper (ayi) with her Book open on the floor in front of them. Now, keep in mind, besides "no", ayi doesn't speak a word of English. And Karis speaks about as much Chinese! Nonetheless, Karis was attempting to share, and ayi was graciously trying to understand. Upon Kevin's arrival, Karis had Kevin come and sit with them and spend the next 20 minutes translating the Story, from the beginning to the end, making sure to include all her favorite parts. Ayi kindly listened, and then they all walked away, with Kevin thinking ayi had just humored Karis because of her great love for her. But about an hour later, ayi approached Kevin, asking him pointed questions that we've never heard her ask in the 2 years she's worked for us! Kevin and Karis were both elated, and the story continues, but probably the rest of the exciting details will need to wait to share in person, as we're hoping that this journey of discovery for her is only at the beginning! Oh, and the other funny providential piece is why Karis was at home. All the kids had gotten a fever virus that circulated through our house. On Sunday afternoon, Karis and Eli both still had fevers, so I begrudgingly agreed that they should stay home from school the following day, going against everything within me that said "surely they are healthy enough to go to school and don't need to stay home!". I listened to that still small voice instead, however, and allowed the two kids to stay home from school with ayi while I was out, thus providing the opportunity for this precious interaction to take place! We decided even sick days every now and then can be used for His glory and are well worth any discomfort they may bring!

I concluded my 3-weeks off this past weekend by attending a conference in Beijing. Unfortunately I can't give a lot of details, but suffice it to say that the most encouraging aspect of the time for me besides the time just being away from my normal routine with a bunch of women who were all on the same page with big life things, was that I was drawn to be so thankful for so many aspects of the life that I've been called to here in Tianjin. So many of the women I met were from places where life is just hard! Some lived in places without any running water, and they had to haul their own water daily to use for showering and washing dishes. Others lived 5 hours from any other English-speaking foreigners, making their regular fellowship practically non-existant. Others had husbands who were on the road most of the month, leaving them home with kids and in a context where women aren't really allowed to leave the home without a male (husband) escort. Others had no other option but to homeschool their kids, and truly despised the role! I came home with a new perspective; filled with thankfulness that I love spending time with my husband, that my children are a true joy and a blast to be around (notice the swords, ninja-style, stuck in the back of Noah's shirt as he helps me wash dishes in the picture!), that I have an amazing school that we can (somehow, but the grace of God!) afford to send them to, and that I can call up the import store in town and (usually) get chocolate chips when I want to! I realize just how many blessings I have and how many count the cost in such greater ways than I do. And it motivated me and stirred my heart to no end to see the joy with which so many are doing just that!

The last thing that I can't close out without mentioning is concerning adoption. Our closest friends here, Sam and Charis, have been waiting for a full year now for a "match"--which means they are given the name and information of a child who they will soon be able to adopt and bring into their home. And on Tuesday this week, it happened! After an excruciating process (for them and for all those walking the road with them!), they were finally given the name and photos of a little boy that they can hopefully have officially as their own in about 5 months. And I can't tell you the rejoicing in our home! And not only that, but also some dear friends back in Dallas were on the same match list, finding out the identity of their soon-to-be-adopted little girl, who is also in China in an orphanage right now! It is everything both Kevin and I can do to not jump the next train to the towns where the orphanages are and try to get in the front door to love on these little ones who will soon be in the homes of some amazing parents! The picture I've included is of a group of friends celebrating with Sam and Charis on the day they got all their paper work in to accept the child they've been matched with--a day well worth celebrating!! I can only begin to imagine the sp parallels concerning the adoption of each of us into His eternal family, and the joy it brings when one is brought in among the fold! No doubt His party puts our own to shame... :)

Taking it Easy

These last two weeks since our return from Thailand have been noticeably calmer than our usual weekly routine! While in Thailand, we made a decision to take an intentional break for a short time--mainly at my conviction and mainly in the areas of hostessing others in our home. I'd gotten to the point that although I LOVED all that we were doing and all the people we were having come over on a regular basis, I was also noticing a restlessness inside me if we DIDN'T have our schedule filled to overflowing with people lined up to come to our home. Besides the fact that the hostessing element in and of itself is exhausting and several close friends here were warning me about them seeing impending burn-out on our radar, I also decided that maybe it was time for me to do a little more heart examination about this restlessness I was feeling, and see if I could get to the bottom of what might be the root cause. While I don't feel like I have all the answers after only 2 weeks, I will say that I have been really challenged by what I have seen and what has been revealed--mainly my own pride in thinking that so much of what happens around me and to others around me is dependent on me rather than on Him. I have been challenged to have my faith in Him grow to a whole new level and my control (or desire to control things) diminish. And has it ever! I feel daily the battle of wanting to try to control or manipulate things or circumstances around me, and regularly am reminded of my this being an opportunity to grow in Him.

I also recognized that this area of desiring to have control over things in my life was largely tied to my busy schedule. I do LOVE hostessing and entertaining, but I am also seeing how it is somewhat of a coping mechanism in my life that I use to numb myself to some of the bigger stressors we experience in living overseas. I felt this most poignantly upon our immediate return from Thailand. Each time we leave the country and return, Kevin and I both have what we describe as an "unsettled" feeling; we have a day or two of thinking, "Where am I?", "What am I supposed to be doing again?", "Is this really home?", etc. My immediate response to this unsettled feeling is to jump back into the game with both feet, with schedule out and texts being sent out in rapid succession to line up as many events as we can that are outreach related. This time, due to my intentional "break" from hostessing, I couldn't do that. And I really felt it! I had an anxiousness about me that I couldn't shake for a good 2 days, but thankfully which has gradually decreased over the last week and a half.

So rather than having our usual regular friends and dinner guests over these past two weeks, I've tried to use the evening times to practice being still. My hope is that over these weeks (I have a little less than one more to go before my self-allotted period of "cease hostessing" comes to an end), I will be able to experience within my heart an increased time and degree of stillness. That I will be able to be content just being and not having to be constantly doing (guessing most of you are familiar with the Mary and Martha story....) in order to feel like I am being productive or effective in life.

All that long explanation--quite possibly more than you wanted to hear!--to say that these past few weeks have been slower than the norm at the Joseph household. The kids started back to school right away (the day after we returned from Thailand, the photo showing them all dressed up for China Day) and Kevin and I have each had a week or so of classes ourselves. We celebrated Valentine's day with our dear friends Mr. Rob and Ms. Barbara, eating heart-shaped hamburgers and jello at their house. Kevin preached at our International Fellowship this past Sunday. And the kids have been getting some of their energy out on the new contraption we have hanging in the doorway of our guest room--a bar that has both a swing and trapeze bar attachment that a friend sent for Christmas (you can see Noah on it in the picture). And the highlight of our week--my sister and her husband (and their two boys) have purchased tickets and are planning their trip to China! They come next month and are staying for 3 months, and we couldn't be more excited!

Thailand Adventure

Our family has just returned from two wonderful weeks in Thailand. The first week we spent basking in the sunshine on a remote beach at our family's favorite vacation spot on this side of the globe. We spent days swimming, catching hermit crabs, avoiding tiny jelly fish, fishing at 6am in the morning, hiking in a breath-taking cave in a national park, and feeding fruit to the wild monkeys on Monkey Island. It was fantastic! We had sweet family time, and even got to share it with Lief, Kevin's best friend here in China who came with us for the first 5 days. It was his first time out of the country to such a place, and hearing his take on things was fascinating and eye-opening for Kevin and me. I don't even think of culture shock as being something you would deal with in going from China to tropical paradise--and yet he did for sure! On one of our first days there we drove about 45 minutes to the nearest larger city for dinner, and Lief asked us on the way where all the tall buildings were. We reminded him that there weren't nearly as many people in Thailand as China, so therefore there was no need for the sky scrapers that literally cover the horizon of every Chinese city Lief has ever been to. But the question sure brought our environment into a whole new light for Kevin and I as we tried to experience it all through Lief's eyes!

Our second week was spent meeting with friends, who have become dear to us over the years. We had another great week of getting encouraged and fed, even though the only wild monkeys present at this location were our own kids! It sure filled their tanks to have such sweet time interacting with other ex-pat kids to whom they can really connect with on a deeper level.

Since we've returned, we've been battling our own fair dose of culture shock! We got into the Beijing airport at 2 am after our flight was an hour late, only to discover that our driver just didn't show up to get us (even after Kevin had gotten a texted confirmation from him that day!). No explanation when Kevin called him at 2 am from the airport, just a statement that he was at home in Tianjin--a 3-hour drive away from where we were waiting! With kids literally melting down in exhaustion and a couple new to China along with us, we scrambled to figure out how to get 8 people and all our luggage back to our city. We eventually came up with 2 drivers who liked to smoke, didn't really know the route to get us home, and charged us a small fortune for the incredibly-cramped 3 hour drive they took us on. We DID eventually arrive safely home and crawled in bed at 6:30 am, thankful that our kids too were tired enough to get several hours of sleep in before they were up and at 'em, ready to play with their own toys again after their absence. We had a low-key rest day on Sunday, which was much needed as they all started back to school on Monday.

One other aspect of our culture shock has been the continuing of the Chinese New Year celebration. It is CRAZY here! I only wish I could record the exploding fireworks that are constantly exploding all around us. Last night they started by 6pm and were still continuing when I awakened at about midnight. And not just a few--but literally non-stop. The kids entertained themselves after dinner by running from one widow to another within the apartment to see which display of fireworks at the moment was most eye-catching. Any direction you looked, there were at least half a dozen being set off--and of all varieties. Everything from the loud ones that boom with such force they fairly shake the walls, to the bright exploding colors that shower down all around you. I chuckled as I walked the kids from the bus stop. There, in the open courtyard of our building, was a stand filled with fire extinguishers for public use! I was trying to imagine such unrestricted use of fireworks any where in the US. I also shuddered when I considered what my sister (an ER nurse) had told me about the 4th of July in the US and the number of burn victims that came in on that particular night; I can only imagine with the lack of expertise and the prevalence of their use here that the injuries are much worse and much more common!

In addition to dodging the fire extinguishers and piles of rubbish all over left from the debris of the fireworks, we also were dodging piles of vomit all over the ground. I can only assume that drinking here at this time is also at an all-time high, as the revelry seems to take whatever form is most raucous. Instead of the kids just calling out the common warning of "Watch the poop!" as we made our usual trek to the bus stop, it was coupled with "Watch the throw up!" as well over the last few mornings....Must say there are a few aspects of Thailand that I prefer to China (besides the warm sunshine and clear blue skies!).... :)

Bike Ride

The kids have been riding their bikes more and more lately in our apartment courtyard area. (And I should note that this is largely due to our unusually warm winter we've enjoyed! It has yet to really snow, and the temperatures have gotten above freezing most days, which is incredibly different from our last two year here.) So Kevin and I decided that the older two were ready for a real challenge, and we proposed the idea of riding bikes together to the McDonalds that is probably about 2 miles away from our home. The kids LOVED the idea, so on Saturday morning, we took off with the older two wearing their helmets and the little two boys on the backs of Kevin's and my bike. We sure didn't set any speed records on our journey, but made it across the railroad tracks, through some pretty hairy intersections, and the entire distance (with only one or two stops to rest our legs!) with everyone still alive at the end! I realized during our trek that Eli is definitely in need of a larger bike with bigger wheels. The poor thing had to peddle about 10 times for every 1 the rest of us had to make (even including Karis!), so his cheeks were quite flushed and he was sweating pretty much by the time we arrived to enjoy our chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers.

Besides our bike adventure, our week has been a slower-paced one than usual. We entertained some of our Chinese friends for dinner on Friday night. One of the funnier moments was when one friend asked another friend if she was pregnant. The girl being asked actually was, but very few people knew about it at that point! And we still can't figure out how the one asking knew about the pregnancy. She assured us she hadn't heard from anyone else, she could just "tell"! (And since the one pregnant is so early on, there are no outward signs yet at this point.) It was pretty funny, and pretty awkward, too! This let to some other interesting conversations. One being her sharing with me the ideas in Chinese medicine of why you have indigestion when you're pregnant--especially during your 3rd trimester. That is when the baby is growing hair on it's head, which is the direct cause of the mother's indigestion. Hmmmm....

The other thing that rocked my world was hearing this friend talk about another good friend of hers who is also pregnant. The friend is 39 weeks already, and is having a very difficult time eating much because her indigestion is so uncomfortable (nothing unusual there!)! What is unusual, is my friend's display of friendship to this girl. The pregnant friend feels like she can eat more and with less discomfort when our mutual friend is around. Therefore, my friend, who is a police officer and has an incredibly busy work schedule, on top of big family demands, etc., travels to Beijing two times a week simply to sit with her pregnant friend while she eats! (It's only a 40 minute train ride between our cities, but there's always additional travel time, including sub way, taxi, etc, which would probably make her travel time closer to 1 1/2 or 2 hours each way.) Talk about loyalty! The Chinese culture takes the loyalty amongst friends to a whole new level!

We've continued to enjoy my "running machine"--or my "big toy" as Noah refers to it. You can see his favorite way to exercise these days (normally right before bath time!) from the photo! (never mind--my husband just censored the half-nude shot from behind!) The other pics are of the kids' creations they made out of marshmellows and toothpicks (which turned in to part of their afternoon snack, as I'm sure you can imagine!) None of the structures actually could fit into the mugs of hot chocolate that went along with their afternoon treat, but that didn't seem to bother them in the least!

The rest of this week has been busy preparing to leave town. We head to Thailand in a few days and are counting down the time til we are in the sun, the clean air, and enjoying a brief break from our usual routine! Next post should have a slightly different background that the normal skyline of Tianjin... :)

Ants in my sugar

I put the phone down for a minute to run into the kitchen (our phone only works in a few spots in the house, and the kitchen is not one of them!) to get some hot tea during a phone date with a friend from the US. I ran back to the phone 1 minute later, laughing as I explained to my friend that I'd just fished out an ant or two from the sugar jar I was using to sweeten my tea--and the funny part was that it didn't bother me in the slightest! I hope this doesn't gross anyone out (or deter any potential visitors to our side of the pond!), but it just caused me to reflect on how many changes I've endured the last two and a half years--both in my life experiences and "normals" and also inside me. I won't belabor the point here, but suffice it to say that I feel like after living in a cross-cultural environment for this amount of time, I've kind of crossed the point of no return and have undergone some serious remodeling both inside and out. One way I saw this again was during our fellowship time at our International Fellowship on the morning of Jan. 1st. We had a university choir in town visiting from Kenya, and it was an experience to say the least! Our congregation is made up of about 300 each week, and a large number of those in attendance are students here studying (different subjects, but lots studying medicine of some sort) from Africa. And let me tell you, the place was rockin'! I don' think there was a single person in the place who wasn't at least trying to move to the beat that was being led from up front by this group of young people. And our African brothers and sisters were elated--the joy at being able to worship in a style and manner that said "home" to them was written all over their faces (and every other part of their body that jammed to the beat coming off the drums). It was amazing. Conga lines through the aisles. Brilliant white smiles lighting up every face in the room. Hands in the air, waving, clapping. I stood with tears in my eyes thanking Him for this opportunity--to worship with so many others whose backgrounds and stories are so unique and different from mine. I thought--if we had to leave China, is it even possible that our family could return to our old "normal"--to the live we lived in suburban Dallas for several years? Thankfully this is not a question that begs an answer any time soon, so for now I can rest in knowing His grace is sufficient, and although I may be fishing ants out of my sugar, I can rejoice in the fresh perspective He gives me daily on what things are of importance and value.

Two of those things of value: good friends and hot pot! Our family celebrated New Year's Eve with a huge bang (well, kind of!). We walked to a restaurant Kevin and recently discovered that has hot pot (like fondue) with friends here who are like grandparents to our kids (Rob and Barb). This was a first for the kids, and it was a smashing success (except that Hudson was not crazy about the meal and ended up eating about 6 oranges and bucket-fulls of Sprite for his dinner rather than the meat and vegetables intended to go in the hot pot)! We made it through the evening without anyone even getting burned from the hot pots that were in front of them, and the kids are already asking when we can go back. Should be a fun new family tradition we've begun!

Then this past weekend we had another fun first--Kevin and I taking a night away! We asked friends several weeks ago if they would be willing to watch the kids overnight for Kevin and I to take off for the evening to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Our friends were more than willing, and the kids were so excited to have "their" friends come over (all grown-ups, of course!) Kevin and I made the most of our night out--starting with foot massages (in matching outfits, as modeled by Kevin in the photo!), dinner at our favorite Thai food restaurant, Starbucks' lattes, window shopping in the main shopping area of town, sleeping in at a hotel (that even had comfortable pillows, unlike the usual bean-filled ones at most Chinese hotels), and a lingering reading time over coffee in the morning before heading home to the usual chaos of the Joseph household! It was a huge blessing to be able to take off just the two of us, and even more so to be able to know that the kids were not only well-taken care of in our absence, but also that they were having a great time with us being gone. We definitely didn't spend all of our time in this vein of discussion, but Kevin and I both agreed that as much as we LOVED our time away together, it was also amazing how much we missed having the kids around! We recognize that our little ones are FAR from perfect, but man, they sure are precious to be around and an incredible blessing in our lives that we are much aware of! And being apart makes the reminder that much more vivid!! Good thing we still have another 3 full weeks of winter break to soak in the intense "togetherness"!

The last photo is Karis and Eli on my Christmas/anniversary present--a running machine (or treadmill, as those of you who speak English may call it!). The word for it in Chinese translates directly into running machine, and for the life of me, I can't stop calling it that even when I'm trying to use English! So we've renamed the machine in our house. And I am super excited to put it to use! After battling the cold and the only gym in our area closing this weather (not to mention the pollution you feel when running outdoors), we finally broke down and decided to make the big purchase. The kids have already put more mileage on it than I have, but I plan on wrapping up this writing now, wiping off the bottom of my China-yucky running shoes, and taking a spin on my new running machine all on my own! Ahh, the little things!!

Christmas

Our celebrating this year took on a whole new meaning. A few days before Christmas we met up with our two closest western friends here (Sam and Charis, and Andy and Natalie and their two kids, Jenda and Blaise), grabbed some McDonald's to eat on the way, and had a hired driver in a 16-passenger van drive us about an hour and a half away to an orphanage in a nearby town. We had several of the seats in the van filled with toys, diapers, and some clothing items that the orphanage coordinator had requested. The 3 hours that we spent there with the kids and touring the facility was absolutely amazing--more than we could have asked for or imagined as far as an "experience" that was incredibly life-changing and fulfilling for all of us involved. We had literally only walked up the steps and through the child gate on the second floor when we were swarmed with Chinese toddlers, all lifting their hands up with huge grins on their faces. The experience was so surreal that we all agreed that we had wondered at the time if the kids were put up to such lovable behavior by the women in charge of the kids or if it was instigated by themselves alone! Our time with the kids over the next several hours made us believe that it was genuine--with no one forcing or even encouraging these kids to reach out and embrace us with such warmth and enthusiasm.

Each of the kids at the orphanage we visited (called Shepherd's Field in Lang Fang) had some sort of disability. The orphanage housed between 70 and 90 kids at a time, ranging in age from a few months old to 18 years. We were blown away by how well-run everything seemed to be, and how much the staff seemed to care about the children there. The facility itself was remarkable, and we were told it was started by foreigners and has a huge financial support system in the States. The people we met who worked there were all like-minded on important things, and the love they had for the children was evident in the way they cared for them.

I was amused by our kids' response to the experience as we reflected on it over dinner upon our return that night. When we asked the kids what they thought, Eli immediately responded that "Dad sure did like being there!" When we asked him what made him think so, he explained that he was constantly holding little kids or playing with them when we were there (which was true; in fact I couldn't even get to my camera before Kevin had two little toddlers in his arms immediately upon our arrival in the first dorm we visited). Neither Kevin nor I are what I would call "kid people"; we love kids, but don't naturally warm up to them or get re-energized from spending lots of time with them like some friends we have. But when Kevin reminded our kids that those children didn't have mommies or daddies to hold them whenever they wanted, it really struck a chord in them. Kevin asked them to think about how many times in a day they wanted Mom or Dad to hug them or hold them; then explained that theses kids NEVER had a mom or dad to go to when they felt that way. It was silent in the room for a minute while our kids processed this--which is a small miracle in and of itself! Other than Noah pushing through his normal afternoon naptime and having some seriously cranky behavior as a result, our kids did really well playing with the other kids and handing off Christmas gifts to the kids at Shepherd's Field.

Besides our big trip to the orphanage, we got to do some more celebrating with friends for Christmas. On Friday before Christmas I hosted a cookie decorating party for some of the kids friends at our house. Talk about being thankful for holiday care packages with baking goodies I can share with friends! On Christmas Eve we hosted a brunch with some of our western friends--26 of them in all!--and enjoyed a feast and a time of fellowship, complete with egg nog and some special mint coffee (also courtesy of a care package!). Christmas Eve night we ordered jiaozi from a nearby restaurant (a staple in the Chinese diet, and one of our families' favorite foods to eat these days!) and managed to catch a taxi to get to Gymboree, the place where Kevin's best friend Lief teaches toddlers English. Gymboree was having a big Christmas Eve party and Lief and his boss, who we've become friends with, really wanted our family to attend (the western faces in the crowd!). We stuck around for over an hour with our friends Sam and Charis, laughing at how "Chinese-ee" it was, meaning that the party was filled with games and silly dances and performances, before heading home to finish preparing for Christmas morning. Christmas Eve here is treated more like a holiday than Christmas day is, with stores staying open all night on the 24th for shopping and a general party atmosphere wherever you go--lots of revelry and even some fireworks in the streets! My ayi explained to me that this is because the Chinese compare American's Christmas to the Chinese New Year--during which the celebrating actually starts the day before the New Year and goes on throughout the night, in spite of how old you are or what your usual bedtime is! She was shocked when I told her that this is not how we do it in the US! Especially if you have kids, you're aiming for an earlier bedtime on the 24th so you can get up early for the opening of gifts on the 25th.

On Christmas day we decided to stay home from our usual fellowship (we always feel rushed getting out the door by 9:30 and can never get home before 1:30, so knew that it would take up our whole morning and decided on family worship at home instead). After a big breakfast and opening of gifts (which the kids had an abundance of, thanks to the grandparents and their generous care packages!), we had a lazy afternoon of lounging around in our pj's (I had matching pj pants made for the whole family; a luxury of living here in China! I was able to buy the flannel at a fabric market and had a seamstress come to the house and measure and custom-make the pants for each of us to wear with our white t-shirts. I know, a little cheesy, but even Kevin was willing to participate to humor his wife [probably fearing a potential homesick meltdown if he didn't!]). We did change clothes in the afternoon for me to do a quick jog and the 3 older kids to ride bikes along with me through our apartment community. We were sooooooo thankful for the weather! We haven't even had our first snow yet, and the temps are regularly in the upper 30's! We'll take it!

Christmas night we had our two closest friends again (Sam and Charis and Andy and Natalie and kids) over for dinner. I made lots of my favorite comfort foods (my mother-in-law's pork tenderloin recipe with jelly I asked her to mail me from the US, twice baked potatoes, cinnamon red hot jello salad, green salad with FETA cheese on top--which was a HUGE treat, as you don't come by feta very often here at all, and even a chocolate pie for dessert). Can you see why I had a jog that afternoon?!

Christmas was a sweet time. It was simple. It was refreshing rather than exhausting. It was great time building Magna Tile towers and playing Sorry with the kids. There were moments when we all had that knot in the pit of the stomach feeling that never seems to quite go away when you live so far from "home" and family, but it was a sweet time of remembering what is important, why we are here, His goodness in it all, and the joy of the friends He's given us on this side of the ocean!

Let the Celebrating Begin!

I can't believe that Christmas is only a week away now! It's amazing how quickly it comes! Seems like only yesterday that we were packing our bags for our first trip back to the US for Christmas last year. While we are definitely feeling the miles of distance between us and those Stateside, we're also really loving so many aspects of the intentionality of celebrating the season on this side of the ocean!

This past week we had a few celebrations: Eli and Hud had their school Christmas performance--and it was precious! Some of the pictures are from there, including the one with Ms. Barbara in it (the kids surrogate grandmother here in China, who has yet to miss one of their special events!). I also had a morning off from our usual family time last Saturday when I got together with a group of Western friends for a cookie and soup exchange and luncheon. We had sweet time enjoying one another's company, eating, and even exchanging gifts (usually fun finds that are hard to come by here--a bag of coffee, a full-sized mug, non-gaudy earrings, etc.). After the luncheon, I took off for my last study with a group of Chinese moms (as shown in the other photo--with my Western (and Aggie! Whoop!) friend, Natalie--who helped me lead the month-long study we did.) More on the study later...

I thought I'd include some of my favorite snapshots from the week that came from each one of the boys. Noah's was a few days ago as we were walking through our apartment community to bring some food to a friend. Karis was kicking the soccer ball on the way, and kicked the ball close to a little Chinese boy out with his grandpa (he was probably about 3 or 4 years old). The ball obviously startled him when it rolled past, and he responded with sort of a yelp! Noah's reaction was to immediately cry out to him, "LOOK OUT, GEGE!" (Gege is the Chinese word for older brother!) It was so quick and so natural, Karis and I both burst out laughing, especially since it seemed so odd as this word in particular is NOT part of our usual Chinese vocabulary. I'm guessing he's just practiced with Ayi, but I was unaware that he even knew what the word meant! Hudson's came on our walk to school on Thursday morning. He was telling a story--which is not at all a-typical for him. He was explaining to me what had happened on the episode of Tom and Jerry he had watched the previous afternoon (in Mandarin, of course). He explained to me that Jerry had come down with a bad case of leprosy, even getting it in his mouth! I stopped Hud and told him that he probably had the chicken pox, not leprosy, but he was convinced of his diagnosis! Eli's was this morning, as we were preparing to go shopping for Christmas presents we are taking to an orphanage next week (sure you will have a full post on that one next week!). During our discussion, he very pointedly asked me, "Mom, when are we going to get one?" I responded with, "One what?", assuming he was referring to a specific gift or something. He shocked me by saying instead, "An orphan." After I put my eyes back in their sockets and caught my breath, I asked him what made him think we were going to "get one". He stated very simply that he'd heard me mention it before (as Kevin and I have talked about the possibility of adopting some day). This prompted a very interesting discussion in which I talked with the boys (who were the only ones at the table at the time) about the possibility of us adding to our family through adoption, what this might look like, and their thoughts on the matter. It was pretty precious, them discussing the pro's and con's of another brother vs. a sister, the possibility of it being a child with extra emotional or physical needs, etc. They then explained to me that they knew all about adoption because of how many friends we have who have done so--elaborating on one family we know who lives in Shanghai and has 10 kids (I think 2 or 3 are adopted), one of whom is missing a few digits on one of his hands. The boy from Shanghai and his brothers had apparently told Eli and Hud last year when we were with them that the boys missing the digits had had dipped his fingers in a pool of water and had them bitten off by piranhas! After I stopped laughing, I was able to argue with my boys that I was quite certain this was not the real story, but only the brothers having fun and having a good attitude about something that could be a real downer in one's life.

So back to the parenting study. It finished up, I am happy to say, a total success. So much so that the ladies were really wanting to continue meeting. As much as I LOVED the time with them, it was also a big burden on Kevin and a lot of time away from the family. So we left it with me encouraging them to continue meeting together and encouraging one another (which they were very open to doing) and then maybe re-upping to meet again for a series of weeks in the Spring. I don't know of any other activity I've participated in here that has felt like a more natural bridge to building relationships and talking about things of importance. And it is sooooooo needed here! I was amazed each week at how the "normal" things that we think every parent knows just aren't talked about or considered here. Things like giving your kids boundaries or limits (or telling them "no" to anything at all!), teaching them B verses, communicating with them, finding out how they best feel loved and giving that to them, all these things are simply not known or practiced. It was so encouraging to see these women take simple basic truths and try to apply them each week, then come back and share their stories. We spent a lot of time laughing (at least they did--the parts I could understand, I was laughing along with them!). And the study was a HUGE help to my language learning. I tried to do most of the teaching time in Chinese, with resorting to Chinglish as needed and an occasional clarification in English, which I could get away with as all the ladies spoke at least some English themselves. And I also had Natalie there as my crutch--her language is incredible and we prepped together a lot, so she could help me in a bind. I found as I was lying awake one night this week not able to sleep for some reason, that as I practiced Chinese in my head, for the first time I was able to express my heart about what I feel like is important in raising kids in Mandarin. And this is a really big deal because I literally have opportunities almost every day to use this kind of language to open doors--people asking about which kid is my favorite, how beautiful they are, how important the outward appearance and their success in the world is, etc. All these things that go along with a godless culture that I see as signs of being so lost, I now have the ability to explain that there is more out there than the empty and vain pursuit of what the world has to offer! It's exciting and invigorating all at once!

I'd better head to wake Noah up from his nap. We have dinner guests coming shortly--a girl headed to the US for a time of study whose parents are both coaches of the professional athletes in town (one coaches trampoline and one softball). Kevin assures me that in spite of it being a little uncomfortable for us to host this crew (they are what we call, "full Chinese", meaning they don't really have other Westerners they hang out with, so aren't used to our custom and food differences!), it will hopefully be a beneficial relationship in which to invest! Sure to have more fun stories as a result... :)