Warming Up..... :)

So we've decided that the change in weather makes a HUGE difference to all of us! Besides not being so excited about how early the sun comes up (making it a lot less likely for the kids to sleep in at all on the weekends), we are loving the change in seasons! I didn't even wear my long underwear today--at least not until I left for class this afternoon. Our school building, like every other building in the city, has been without heat for the last week and a half. You'd be AMAZED at how cold and drafty the insides of buildings feel when the high temperature hasn't broken 60 degrees outside yet! It feels weird to be experiencing the coming of spring by seeing warming temperatures and even a few buds on trees, and yet to feel colder inside than we have in months!

This last week Kevin and I both had lunch with one of Kevin's former teachers. She is engaged to a really nice guy who lives in Beijing who Kevin has become friends with. The funny thing to me was that when I went to the school to meet up with the two of them, I ran into 3 of my Chinese friends. All 3 of them asked the same question immediately upon seeing Kevin and me both there at school--"Where are the kids?!" I think mainly because in China, most of the time both parents work full-time and the grandparents raise the grandkids until they are 3 and head off to Chinese kindergarten, the idea of wanting "time off" or getting away from home is totally foreign. The idea of married couples having dates, especially if they have kids, is even more unusual--to the extent that when Kevin and I DO have a date night and I try to explain it to a Chinese friend, they literally don't understand, thinking I'm using the wrong word, that a "date" for a married couple is something that just doesn't happen! I realized how unusual this is to our American culture (and to our "old normal" where we lived a mile from my parents and were blessed to have my mom in particular insist on Kevin and I having weekly date nights) when I talked with my sister today. She told me about her church providing child care so that the small groups within the church could have a time set apart for the adults to have talk-time without the strain of having to find babysitters. What an amazing concept!

But to answer my friends' question, I left both Noah and Hudson with our ayi for me to be able to join Kevin and his former teacher for lunch. She only had to watch the two of them for about half an hour before putting them down for nap time and then Kevin returning home while I went on to class, but my friends were still impressed that our ayi could handle two little boys at one time! They all agreed that they must be very "ting hua"--or obedient! I countered with the offer of them being better described as rowdy, but know what consequence any disobedience would bring! Our lunch was great, and both ayi and the boys made it through the afternoon unscathed...

On Thursday night I had a fun time feeling my cheeks turn a little bit red. We had a group of friends over, and one of them was a co-worker of Leif's who we had never met. She didn't really speak any English (that I could tell, anyway!), so I was a little more nervous about our social interaction. After dinner, we moved into the living room and I was serving tea. When I was pouring tea for this woman (named Eva), she put out her hand and tapped the coffee table right next to her tea cup about 4 or 5 times in a row with her first two fingers. The first time she did this, I was almost done pouring. I panicked a little, trying to remember what the finger tap signal meant! Was it that she wanted more? That I had already poured enough? I was pretty sure it was one of the two, but couldn't remember for the life of me which! The second time I went to pour, she started tapping as soon as I started pouring. This time, I had to admit my ignorance, as I didn't know what she was trying to communicate and didn't want to offend her by pouring too much or not enough! I apologized (of course in Chinese) and asked her to remind me of what her meaning was! She responded (rather embarrassed herself!) that she was simply saying thank you! Everyone in the room got a good laugh, and I was thankful to have the lesson deeply ingrained, certain not to be forgotten again!

Our weekend was filled with great time with more Chinese friends. My oldest friend here, who is my first teacher I had, came over with my other best friend Ying Ying to celebrate her birthday. My first teacher Zhen Zhen has just gotten married--but her wedding is in September of this year! In China, you are officially married once you have the license--and getting through the red tape to get a license can be a real pain. So my friends Zhen Zhen and her now-husband Victor went ahead with the official document and then will have their wedding in a few months after time to prepare for it and schedule a location. Weddings here are almost always held in restaurants, and the wedding and reception are all in one venue (most of the time). Zhen Zhen actually asked Karis and one of the boys (she doesn't mind which one!) to be in the wedding as ring bearers! We thought there was a chance of this, as she has always adored the kids and they have gotten really close to her, too. The funny thing is that the other teacher that Kevin and I had lunch with earlier this week just happens to be getting married on the same day, the same time, only in a location much further away! We'd already decided we would divide and conquer--Kevin taking two of the kids with me to his former teacher's wedding and me taking two to Zhen Zhen and Victor's. I have no doubt I'll be having a whole new cultural experience as I go into wedding planning mode with my friend!

On Saturday, Kevin took Eli on a "daddy date" to hike around Trash Mountain. I therefore, was left with the other three, but really wanting to go shopping! So I decided to throw caution to the wind and trek on over to what is often called the "walking street" where tons of shopping is done. There is a store there called H&M (which is now in Dallas, too, I hear) that has clothes here that actually fit and are more American-style (ie, my style!), than anything else I've found. So I took the kids the 30-minute taxi ride away to make it there, with the promise of ice cream and lunch at Papa John's if they behaved well. I was super blessed to have my friend Charis willing to join us on our adventure, and was even more thrilled to have Noah even willing to let Charis carry him around some of the time (he doesn't like being carried by anyone, as he'd much rather go his own direction when he can!).

We had a great time shopping together--not finding the black pants that I was hoping for, but finding some other fun spring-type clothes. We then hiked over to the Papa John's pizza where Kevin and Eli met us after their time at Trash Mountain. We even splurged and enjoyed Cold Stone Creamery after our pizza lunch! Talk about living large! We thought about going to TGI Friday's for dinner that night, but both Kevin and I laughed that doing so felt like it would be pushing the limit in how much of a "western day" we should experience all at once! Pizza, real ice cream and burgers all in one day? Are you kidding?! Where's the rice?! :)

Saturday night our friend Jennifer came over to hang out. She is the friend who usually babysits for us when we do get date nights, but with her busy school schedule (she is a PE teacher at the international school) and coaching, as well as tutoring that she does on the side, her schedule hasn't allowed her much time to watch our four little ones! We had fun playing and eating with her, and are continually reminded of how thankful we are for the many blessings of friendships He continue to bring our way!

Lifting my eyes...

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."

The group of ladies I study with every other week has been memorizing Ps 121 together as part of our study homework--and let me tell you, right now I'm feeling the need more than ever to lift up my eyes to those hills!!! I truly HATE to admit it, but over a year and a half into living in a different country and I still marvel (almost daily) at how I can feel the differences, feel the strain of trying to adapt to a new culture. The weight of struggling to become proficient in the language, the frustration of not being able to communicate with others the way my heart desires, the irritation over so many cultural differences that oftentimes rub me the wrong way, the sheer number of people I am constantly bumping into and "competing" with just to check out in line at the grocery store--it has yet to become my new normal! And how desperately I want to be there; the point that the little things don't frustrate and even anger me, the ease of being able to communicate fluently in the heart language of the people I am growing to love more and more, the sense of finally having "arrived" at being able to find peace and refreshment at just "being" here in China. I wonder when that day will come? And will it be all of a sudden--one day that the little things just don't seem so big any more? Or will it be such a gradual progression over the years that I don't even notice that I am changing? And if that is the case, then what does that mean when I return to the US and interact with others there? Will I be totally unable to fit in to either culture? (And this isn't even mentioning my kids, who are truly experiencing the effects of living in two or more cultures in a way that even Kevin and I am not!) Ah, to lift my eyes to the hills and trust in Him who neither slumbers nor sleeps.... I truly delight in the knowledge that He who has planned each step of our journey promises He will not let our feet slip. In the midst of so much uncertainty, in feeling like such a foreigner so much of the time, what more can I ask for? What else do I need?

The longer we spend here in China, the more convinced I am that we are exactly where we are supposed to be--in spite of my former "ramblings" of the challenges that accompany us on this journey! The highs are vastly higher than anything Kevin and I have experienced--thus, perhaps, the reason for our sheer exhaustion at the end of most days? The emotional energy we feel we expend on a regular basis is unlike anything we've known before. Maybe a little of what Paul is referring to when he talks of being "poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service" of another's faith?

So along this pilgrimage we are so thankful for the fellow sojourners He has given us! This weekend we enjoyed a morning of fellowship with 7 other ex-pat couples (or families, as some have children) who came over to our house for play time and lunch. We were refreshed by the time of relaxing and bonding with our dear friends. Kevin had come back from an incredibly long day on Friday. We went to Beijing, leaving our house at 5:30am to catch the train and then meet a friend who had set up for Kevin to help teach baseball to a bunch of Chinese businessmen/women. It was GREAT language practice for Kevin, and of course a totally "China experience" (meaning crazy, compared to what we previously considered normal!). Kevin and his friend Tony met up with the two companies who were participating in the baseball activity for the day (the reason being team-building exercises within the company for its employees) and rode the bus with them for about an hour and a half to their destination--which was a "baseball field" located in a facility in between a driving range and an ostrich/reindeer petting zoo! Kevin was given the privilege of entertaining the employees on the bus during the ride to their destination, so after he ran out of things to say in Mandarin, he switched his approach, singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" into the microphone! How I wish I had that one on tape.... :) He returned that night by about 9pm, exhausted but feeling like the day was a success overall.

The first two photos are of one of the exercises during the day--taking turns jumping over a baseball bat--and one of the third basewoman taking a call on her cell during the game!

The rest of our weekend was spent relaxing for the most part. The photo is proof that kids are really creative in where they are willing to play! This one is Hudson in the bathtub with his Legos; for no reason other than he thought that would be a fun spot to play! We had the blessing of some really warm weather last week, so we had lots of great outdoor play time. But another cold front has come in, with the highs the last several days in the lower 50's with pretty strong, cold winds. Our heat was turned off yesterday, so we're on our own now to bundle up, pull back out the long undies, and wait patiently for spring to arrive in Tianjin! We're hoping that the next week or two will bring temps in the 50's or 60's and maybe even some buds on the trees?

We also purchased plane tickets to return to the US this summer! We are thrilled to have 2 months to spend there, visiting friends and family as we'll travel 'round the country! The kids are really excited and already planning out some of the things they're most excited about--Chick-fill-A, Chuck E Cheese, swimming pools, etc.! We're hoping and counting on the time to be a chance to recharge and gear up again for some more cross-cultural adaptation!!

Super Dad!

As if I didn't know he was amazing before, this past weekend Kevin set some new records in "Dad amazing-ness!" I'm going to be very un-Chinese-ee here for a minute and brag on my hubby (in Chinese culture, you're actually supposed to talk more negatively about your spouse rather than positively, because talking positively about them comes across as being braggadocios; who says you have to acculturate to all aspects of Chinese culture?!). So this past weekend I spent in Beijing--without kids or Kevin! Talk about a total break from the norm....

On Friday I had a girls' day of shopping! I played hooky from class and went with 5 other western friends in a van with a hired driver into Beijing. One of my best friends here, after living in Tianjin for 19 years, is moving back to the States this summer indefinitely. Our family is heartbroken! For those of you who look at our blog regularly, you'll probably know about the Thorpe family, whose 4 kids look like and act like older siblings to my 4 little ones. Their kids range in age from 10 to 16 and are absolutely amazing, and my kids' favorite people in China. So needless to say, our family is grieving their moving back to the States, and our group of foreign women have several things planned to do together this spring in preparation for the Thorpes leaving. So my friend Audrey put together this shopping trip, into Beijing and some of her favorite places--an antique furniture warehouse, a large import grocery store, a floral market (that also sells other houseware and decor items), and the biggest Starbucks I've seen in China (by far!). We ladies had a day of fun, and I even made a few purchases myself! (I'm including a pic of one of the tables I got for our living room so you can see some of the fun finds we get here--neat Chinese antiques at a steal of a deal compared to US prices!)

So while I was gone on Friday, the older two kids were at school, but Kevin had an amazing adventure planned for all of them upon their return from the bus stop. He planned a GI Joe adventure, complete with toy helicopters that had "crash landed" in the courtyard area tress close to our apartment building. The kids each had specific tasks they had to accomplish in order to progress to the next phase of the adventure. They absolutely loved every minute! Then on Saturday, the second adventure began. This one's theme was Transformers, and it took Kevin to the zoo with all 4 kiddos (and his friend Sam, who also didn't want to miss out on the adventure:). When I asked Kevin what they did for lunch, he explained that he had packed a picnic lunch, complete with pb and jelly sandwiches for everyone except himself, as he ended up one short somehow! He scavenged the kids' leftovers, and therefore was able to hold off on his own lunch til their afternoon return home. He also had purchased small tablets of paper for each of the kids for them to record what they saw. When I got home on Saturday night I had an entire stack of pictures to go through that was their handiwork from their time exploring at the zoo! Talk about precious! They were all clamoring to talk at once, eager to share their adventures of the weekend.

My Saturday was spent with my precious Chinese friends, Ying Ying and Shan Shan. We had a friend coming in from the States to do a teaching seminar on parenting and cultural differences that was to last all day Saturday. Rather than coming home late on Friday evening and then turning around a leaving again on Saturday morning, Kevin suggested that I stay in a hotel on Friday night. And then Charis, one of my dear friends here who was also going shopping with our group of ladies on Friday, thought she too would love a night in Beijing and even had her dad willing to use some of his frequent flyer miles to make it possible for us to do so. We even were upgraded to "executive status" (which is not the norm, for me!). Talk about a fun weekend of being spoiled. Great time with friends and a lot of learning on Saturday, as well.

Ying Ying, Shan Shan and I took the train back into Tianjin on Saturday. In order to get to the train station, we rode the subway--which was total insanity! I've never been so crowded in my life. I tried to capture it on film, thus the photo of the tops of heads (mostly dark-haired!), as I held up my camera while moving along one of the subway lines.

The kids' favorite part of me being gone for the weekend--besides Kevin's adventures, that is--was the box that one of the chairs I purchased came in! It was huge, and has been all sorts of things--a cave, a spaceship, a new home for Bo the bunny--you name it. We'll see how long it lasts in our living room, but for now, it is getting much love!

China Day

So we've decided we're making progress. Saturday is what Kevin and I typically refer to as a "China Day", our meaning being a day that seems chalk-full of things that just don't go as you had planned! I thought I'd give a quick overview of the day:

• EARLY rising due to the fireworks being set off all around us (not sure of the reason!)
• Forgot to bring the bike lock needed to secure our double jogging stroller on our outing to Trash Mountain, where we planned to spend the morning hiking around and exploring as a family; resulted in me jogging back home and then a return jog to meet the rest of the fam (probably about an extra 1 mile trek to my journey)
• bought kites to fly at the park, making a special stop into a store to do so, only to arrive at the park and realize that the kites had no string attached, making them un-flyable for the time being!
• left my gloves resting on top of the double stroller when we began our hike, leading to another quick jog to recover them and re-join the fam (another added 1/2 mile or so)
• wasn't "on top" of Noah as close as our Chinese friends think I should have been, resulting in him tripping and falling during our hiking and me getting fussed at by the multiple Chinese grandma's around ogling over our blonde-haired little ones
• discovered that one of Karis' gloves fell out of her pocket somewhere along the way once we had almost reached home, making this the second pair of gloves to have one missing for her in the last 3 weeks (and with weather too cold to make going without not an option!)
• parted ways with Kevin on our return journey for him to go order food at a nearby restaurant for our party we were hosting that night, only to find that he still had my keys with him, making my hungry-for-lunch crew of kids have to wait outside our apartment building for an extra 15 minutes while awaiting his return (and an added jog rather than walk for him as he hurried home to rescue us)
• had a group of 12 people coming to our house for dinner and a movie night, 3 of whom canceled at the last minute, and then one who re-RSVP'd as coming a short time later, making food and table preparation that much more challenging
• our food ordered from the restaurant arrived 45 minutes later than it was supposed to arrive

And yet, Kevin and I both agreed that we would sum up our day as really good overall! The stressors that seemed to formerly push us to the brink of sanity seem to be part of our new "normal", and we find that both exhausting and encouraging!

So on our way to church on Sunday Kevin asked me whether I was afraid that living in China was going to have "long term negative emotional effects" on me. I was shocked at the depth of the question and unable to immediately respond as I was in the back of the taxi with three of the kids (while Kevin was up front with one), hoping to keep Noah's screaming to a minimum. I'm pretty sure the reason he asked the question in the first place was because we had spent a little while the night before evaluating how we felt the kids were doing at this stage of transition to living cross-culturally, and also because I'd had a strange day or two last week where I just felt "off". I had taken Hud to school on a Wednesday, which is not his normal day to attend, and the change in our normal routine seemed to just throw me for a loop and leave me with a knot in my stomach. I found myself asking, "Where am I? What is going on around me that I don't understand? What is this older Chinese person trying to say to me? Is this really my home? Do I have any friends here? etc..." Luckily I recovered from my little "episode" rather quickly and painlessly, but Kevin nonetheless that I was still deep in "processing" mode.

As I had more time to reflect on his question, I was able to reply enthusiastically that while there are no doubt a ton of challenges and trials that I'm feeling tested by (literally every day!), I really feel like James 1 is playing itself out in my life--that I am learning more and more how to find joy in the midst of those challenges and even seeing them (most days!) as the tests of our faith that they are intended to be. I hope that I am growing more in my dependence on Him, as I'm daily finding myself in situations that push me beyond what I feel are my natural limits. I daily cling to Him emotionally, as I miss what is familiar and our dear family and friends who are back in the States. I trust Him and His stability in my life more and more as I find that things around us change in the blink of an eye, making routine and stability here feel like an impossibility. I look to Him for strength and energy, as I feel more exhausted and spent by the end of the day than I ever dreamed possible. I chose to believe His promises, in spite of discouragement as I face the daily grind of trying to learn a REALLY hard language and manage all the tasks I have as a mom and a wife, not to mention the many blessings He's entrusted to us in Chinese friends looking for influence and counsel.

So am I suffering from long term negative effects of living here in China? I hope not! I truly believe that if He sends us back to the States today, the changes He's wrought at least in my own heart have been significant enough to make all the trials, all the tests, all the challenges, totally worth the energy and the tears they've required. Now that being stated, I'll still be honest enough to add that we feel the "grind" of living here! We have not matured yet to the point that we are walking lightly every moment of the day, breezing through conversations and life circumstances with the greatest of ease.... But hoping that our "plod" is pleasing to Him, and coveting your thoughts on our way!

BTW, the photo is one I got during a quiet Sunday evening of family Wii time. Noah even insists on being curled up close to Kevin with a remote in hand to make sure that he is not left out of the adventure!

"Where ya goin'?"

Another first for me today. I was waiting out in the road when the taxi that I hailed pulled over and asked, "Ni qu nar?" (or "Where ya going?" in English translation). You can imagine the shocked look on his face when I immediately responded, "America!" (in Chinese, of course!). I'm not sure if he or I was more surprised, and I quickly laughed and corrected my mis-speech, telling him rather that I wanted to go to E Mart, the supermarket close by. I would like to think that my mistake was due to the fact that I had just been chatting with a few men while they fixed the flat tire on my double stroller and they were asking similar questions (about where I was from, what I was doing here, did I really have four children, etc.), but Kevin suggested that maybe my response to the taxi driver's question was a subconscious homesickness coming out! Hoping it was the former, as I've been feeling more emotionally stable and well-rooted here in China more than ever!!

While I was waiting for the repair man to fix my tire I was visiting with a grandmother watching over her 3 year old. By the way, I was overjoyed to find the repair man. This particular man can be found almost every day underneath the bridge near our home with his 3 wheeler filled with bike repair gear, but for awhile now he hasn't been around. I'm guessing it's because the weather has been so cold. As best we can tell, he lives under the bridge with his gear? When he finished repairing and replacing the inner tube of my tire, I was all too happy to hand him the 20 kuai (less than $3) he asked for without even bargaining! Anyway, I cracked up while visiting with this grandmother as she was trying to figure out what in the world I was doing with a stroller so large (it's my double jogging stroller that I just brought back from the US with us in January, and use to walk both boys to Hudson's preschool which is a couple miles away two mornings each week). I was explaining that I had 4 kids, and she interrupted, asking if I lived at Yang Guang Yi Bai (our apartment complex, which houses supposedly 30,000 people. That's right, I typed correctly! 30,000! Guess that's not so strange when you consider it's a city of 11 million....). When I told her I did, she immediately knew who I was, asking if my oldest was a daughter about yea high and then several small boys... It was so funny! Gotta love the celebrity status that comes with having multiple kids within a country that has a one-child policy!

Our past week has been great. We had temperatures that got all the way up to 50 degrees Fahrenheit up until Friday (when it snowed and dropped down into the teens once again!). The kids haven't seemed to mind though, and we've had fun playing outside in the snow and inside on the Wii (on those afternoons that I just wasn't up for the "bundle up and still get freezing cold hands" routine! We had friends over on Thursday night (you can see Leif and Ying Ying in the picture with the kids), and the kids were all too happy to snuggle up on the couch with them to finish watching their movie before the grown-ups had their dinner and talk time.

It was also our ayi's birthday on Thursday, so we celebrated with cupcakes and gifts the kids had made her, and gave her a store-bought cake that she could take home as her birthday present (we asked around to make sure, but this is culturally appropriate here in China to give a cake as a present!). When she came back on Monday she told us that her family had all come over on Saturday (which is their normal weekend routine, as Ayi is the one who is the main caretaker of her mother who lives with them), so her whole family was able to enjoy the cake. The funny thing was that she told us they were all so surprised because none of them knew that it was her birthday! We're not sure if that's just because birthdays aren't celebrated as much here or if it has to do with confusion over the dates because some people celebrate based on their actual birth date and some by the lunar calendar?

Another funny cultural realization I had from my class time this week: calling a person by name. I remember asking my first teacher here what I should call her boyfriend when I met him. She was stumped by my question! When I asked her what she called him, she responded with, "I don't!" I was so confused, and therefore pushed the issue, certain that at some point she had to get his attention. She explained that when she did have to call to him directly, which rarely happened, she would use his full name (last name first, then first name, which is usually two words. For example my Chinese last name is Zhou and first name is Ai Lian, so people here call me Zhou Ai Lian when they call me by name! I figured that surely this was just a strange idiosyncrasy of my teacher, but have since realized that it's true across the board--Chinese people rarely call one another by name, even in a husband and wife relationship! So how do they refer to one another, I ask? Within a marriage, you refer to your spouse as "lao gong" or "lao po" (which translates into "old worker" or old man and "old woman"--regardless of age!). And then once you have kids, you usually refer to your spouse as "so-and-so's Ma" or "so-and-so's Ba" (which is short for Mama and Baba, or mother and father). How crazy is that! I'm trying to imagine calling to Kevin across the house with "Zi Xuan, Zi Yang, Zi Hang, Zi Nuo de Ba!" just to get his attention! Think I'll stick with "Kev"!

Kevin has resumed his work-outs with the baseball team, and is really encouraged by his relationship with the Chinese coach who has just returned (he was gone all last year "on loan" to a Japanese team). He had Kevin coaching the pitchers today, which he was thrilled about, because he feels that they are lacking some basic instruction on how to use their whole bodies properly in order to maximize their potential as pitchers. The coach was obviously happy with Kevin's coaching, and even asked him to travel with the team this season, which supposedly begins in April! We shall see what fun stories lie ahead with baseball travel adventures.... :)

While he was at the team's practice last week he took this great picture of their training regiment--pushing a truck with no wheels while the coach sat on top! I laughed out loud when Kevin told me about it and showed me the picture, but he defended their concept, stating that the players were certainly getting a full-body workout in the challenge of moving the vehicle! I'm kind of guessing that the players Stateside who are in spring training as we speak aren't experiencing the same type of work-outs that we're seeing here...