Friday, March 27, 2015

A Soft Landing!

Karis at Tianjin International School with former classmates
View from my kitchen window in our new city
We’re finally getting settled in!  Now I say that with my living room literally so filled with boxes that I had to climb over a few to get to the table where my computer was plugged in, but generally speaking, things are looking good around here!  And believe it or not, we’re actually in the apartment that friends connected us with before we even arrived, which is no small thing, believe me.  So here’s a summary of our last two weeks….

Karis and Hud horsing around at Trash Mountain
We arrived in Tianjin (our former city) to an incredibly warm welcome from the kids’ friends and ours.  We had amazingly gracious hospitality, as friends moved out of their apartment to give us a place to stay and to recover from the jet lag and helped us by providing food and an incredibly full schedule of running from one place to the next to visit friends.  Thankfully our car was still there, so it made transportation much easier (once Kevin found the car in the underground labyrinth of a parking garage where we’d left it 8 months ago, changed the dead battery, and figured out how to pay for the previous two months of garage rent that we’d missed).  [Now getting the car shipped out to where we are currently is a whole other story…  We’ve started the process, but it’s going to be long and quite involved.  And it still might end up not happening. L  So far we’re working on getting all the required documents in our new city and then we’ll mail them back to Tianjin where a friend will take them and our car to the DMV where they will hopefully receive our registration being returned, then the car will get shipped here to us to try to start the paperwork on this end.  Lots of steps in the process, so in the meantime we’re getting lots of steps by walking!  And we’ve figured out that there are some taxis who are willing to take a family of 6 in one car.  However my kids have grown in the last 9 months, so having all 4 and myself piled in the back of a taxi makes for some close moments….]

Kevin spent about 4 days in Tianjin, which was almost enough time to make the rounds!  It was sweet to see his reunion with the high school students he used to teach.  They had voted recently on who the senior graduation speaker should be this June when the class that we bonded with so much over the past two years would walk the state, and we were told by the principal that it was almost unanimous that it should be Mr. Joseph!  Which I found quite humorous considering that we’d told both the students and the staff that we wouldn’t be coming back for graduation.  They changed our minds!  Between their powers of persuasion and them offering to pay for Kevin’s plane ticket, we’ve decided that Kevin will take that weekend to go back and have good closure with this group of young people that meant so much to us (who are mainly returning to Korea for college).
Boys playing amidst some of the boxes in our new home
Kids atop Trash Mountain

The kids got to spend one full day, one additional half-day, and two lunches at school with their friends, so their tanks were full.  They came into their school hallways greeted by screams and squeal of delight from their buddies.  Karis had a stack of letters that her former classmates had all prepared, and I had my hands full trying to explain to all the sweet Korean moms that we hadn’t actually returned to the school for good, but were just visiting as we passed through town.  It is so comforting to have a place that feels like home even on this side of the ocean, especially as we embark on this new adventure that involves kind of starting over with a new language, culture, and city.

Some of my favorite cross-cultural adjustment moments during our first week here include:
Karis outside some beautiful, but fake, landscaping!
  • ·      Being told I was “pang le” since we’d left (I’ve gotten fatter!); luckily this was only said by one Chinese friend, which makes me think there’s not TOO much truth to it, but this is actually considered polite in Chinese culture; if I had gained weight and a friend HADN’T noticed and mentioned it, it would be considered rude!
  • ·      Being fussed at for my jacket being too thin (so probably not warm enough); and this was when it was about 60 or 65 degrees outside; I didn’t bother to explain that it was Columbia’s new Omni-Heat technology that was actually both light weight and incredibly insulating, but just smiled and acknowledged the suggestion to wear more clothing
  • ·      The parking guy telling me that my Chinese is bad (I thought about asking him if he preferred using my native tongue of English instead, but quickly was convicted that my heart would probably not have been in the best place to make that suggestion in love!)
  • ·      Standing on center stage when I am out with my kids; we stopped at a park bench to grab a snack one day while we were out on our adventures and within about 2 minutes we were surrounded by Chinese grandparents out with their little toddlers they are the caretakers of, gawking at the foreign blonde kids and commenting on everything we were doing and wearing, leaving the kids and myself all slightly unnerved and ready to continue on our way as quickly as we could

With Lief at the restaurant 
  • ·      The haze that blocks the sun MOST days, except, PTL, our first full day in Tianjin!  It was a glorious blue-sky day, and we took it as a warm welcome back to this land of such diversity (including the weather!)
  • ·      The hospitality; Kevin’s best friend from baseball and his wife invited us to dinner one night and went so far beyond what we consider “normal” that I’m still astounded; even though we have a car and a somewhat-working GPS, Leif drove 45 min to come and get us  (in his small sports car! Not really designed for 7 passengers…) and bring us to his home where he and his wife had prepared a feast, gone to Ikea to get kids’ plates that would be sturdy enough for the kids to eat off of (rather than using the paper plates that we used), and even had us come to a super fancy restaurant to pick out MORE food to make sure that there was enough that everyone liked; he then drove us back home at the end of the evening (so he spent 3 hours in the car total!); they were so sweet and admittedly nervous about having us over to their home for a meal (which is funny because they regularly came to ours before we moved???), and we found that we were the first guests besides their parents to come over for dinner since they got married last August; we’ve found with our Chinese friends that it is really rare for people to open their homes even to their closest friends

Kids with Ayi
  • ·      Walking; we do it A LOT!  My Fit Bit is tracking all new highs as it tries to keep up with my legs!


One of the biggest highlights of our time in Tianjin was getting to meet with our former house helper, Ayi.  We spent the afternoon with her, playing chase with her outside, catching up on her family, and having her take the kids to get ice cream.  It was so sweet to see her reunion with the kids, and we’ll plan on keeping up with her and seeing her again on our next return visit to TJ.  After the 4 days with Kevin in town, he took off to head west to see what he could get set up for the family before we arrived, and the kids and I had another 6 days of meeting with other dear friends and visiting all our favorite old hang-outs.  One of my favorite moments was when we were climbing up Trash Mountain, just the 4 kids and myself, tired after walking about 45 minutes just to get there, the trees all still dead-looking from winter and the ground muddy and poop-ridden, and Karis exhaling a deep sigh with the words, “I just love being back in China!”

Hud showing off how dirty our hands get playing outside!
So while the kids and I were playing in TJ, Kevin was enduring the stressful end of things on our behalf out west.  He had a long trek just to get here (the direct, four-hour flight he was hoping for was canceled, so instead it took him about 7 hours with a stop in between), and when he arrived, he didn’t have a hotel (they wouldn’t let him book a room when he called in advance; still not sure why???).  He managed to get on the flight with 3 bags, but that almost didn’t happen, as the airline didn’t want him flying with more than his 1 allotted bag, even if he was willing to pay the overage fees.  He arrived, did get to check in at a hotel, and met with the landlord the next day to sign the lease on the apartment that friends had connected us to a month ago.  He was amazed how smooth everything was going until he went to the prescribed office the following day to start the paperwork on the lease, only to discover that there was a brand new rule that prevented foreigners from moving into this whole district, which includes about half of the city!  To make a long story short, we’ve been in limbo for a full week, not knowing if we could actually stay in this apartment or not, until about 2 days ago.  And all this with our HUGE shipment of furniture and everything else (including myself and the kids) arriving to our “maybe” apartment.  So we’ve been hesitant to go crazy with the unpacking, not knowing if we would need to return everything to its box and start over.  By PTL, thanks to the thoughts of many on our behalf I’m sure, we have the required paperwork (somehow!) to remain here!  We’re not done yet, as we still have quite a few things that are required of us to do and to submit, but we’re well on the road to nesting in our new home—which is great, but feels tight as we’re going from about 1900 square feet in our previous apartment down to less than 1600.  I’m thinking I should have left behind a few pieces of furniture at this point….

My new bathroom
Not totally surprisingly, our apartment’s one bathroom has proven to be a bit problematic.  We’re not used to sharing one bathroom, so it’s make taking turns, remembering to make your way to the restroom BEFORE the very last minute, and aiming where you pee (more for the boys than the girls) that much more crucial!  We discovered by Eli getting shocked when he was washing his hands that there was a problem with electricity being in our water!  I know, didn’t know that was even possible.  But apparently when I plugged in both the washing machine and the hot water heater into the same socket, it electrified the water current than ran through the faucet.  The electrician was able to correct the problem (somehow???) after spending a few hours at our apartment, and we will not have a really long extension cord for the washing machine running out of the bathroom in order to plug it in elsewhere.  I also found a HUGE jug of water in our very small bathroom upon our arrival, which I explained to Kevin “just had to go.”  And then I talked with our neighbors, who shared their story of being out of water in the apartment for a full two weeks last summer, making showering, washing hands, and flushing the toilet impossible without a huge storage of extra water.  Sigh.  Guess my usable bathroom space just diminished a bit!  Think I’m going to be taking my creativity in “creating space” to a whole new level….

Kids exploring one of their favorite old play places
My unpacking was on hold yesterday as our morning was spent with Kevin and me doing a health check that is required at a facility across town.  We discovered that I am NOT pregnant (haha!), that I do have all my required organs, and that my kids can be remarkably patient even in those crazy situations, especially if they have an iPad or two to share and the promise of a special drink as a reward to look forward to!  We waited on the front steps of the building for half an hour before the place opened and actually decided to embrace the stares of the others there lingering, turning on music on my phone and having a sing-along to one of the Annie songs and then to Katy Perry’s “Roar” (I know, I know; nice standards; but it’s Noah’s favorite and REALLY cute to hear him belt out the chorus). 

Sharing a meal with our favorite TJ friends
So overall, we’re acclimating to, yet again, our “new normal.”  Kevin and I feel the tension (I awakened at 2:45am this morning with my mind racing and thus the extended length of this post!  Couldn’t quite shut off the mind to fall back asleep…) and are trying to allow the joy of Him to be our strength, laughing and trying to make some fun memories as a family in the midst of boxes, uncertainty, and a lot of running around.  I feel overwhelmed with the language barrier; not only has my Chinese gotten worse since our departure (noticeably, but not horribly; I was encouraged that I was able to finally do enough charades with the airline attendant at the gate when we were boarding the plane to fly out west to get Eli’s guitar checked there, on the flight with us, and even find it when we arrived at the airport out west), but we are living in an area that I am really hesitant to use my Mandarin for fear of offending other non-Mandarin speakers.  Yesterday I managed to buy two pieces of nan bread simply by pointing and holding up fingers to indicate how many pieces and determine how much it should cost.  Eesh.  Not sure when my new language study will begin, but man am I thankful for a husband who can do enough already in this new language to at least get people around us smiling and laughing as he practices his vocabulary!  I’m also super thankful for the friends we have here and for the relationships that we started this past summer when we came for a week.  Karis got to go to a girls’ craft time yesterday with a group of about 6 other American girls that will continue to meet weekly and she LOVED it!  We couldn’t get her to stop talking about it the whole walk home.  And Eli met with 2 other guys his age to do a short ch history class, which he also loved and stayed up in his bed reading last night to get prepared for next weeks’ lesson.  We have a birthday party to attend this afternoon with a group of kids and their families, so our kids are already not lacking for people to connect with.  I’m a little sad to say that only Hudson seems to be the one in the family (yet again, as was the situation in Tianjin) who doesn’t have an obvious “buddy” who is his age and gender and close by.  Still hoping for that for him…
Lounging with the friends whose house we stayed in for a week


















Eli with new friends checking out the small amount of snow still left on the ground
Oh, and last comment regarding the weather.  Besides the first day we arrived (which was rainy and chilly and generally unpleasant), it’s been really nice outside.  We’ve had temperatures in the 50s and even 60s, some sunny sky days, and a view of the mountains when it’s clear enough to get us excited about summer and some outdoor exploring around the area.  Now I did just check the weather forecast to see that we’ve got a drop in the temp and even snow predicted for several days starting on Tuesday, so I might need to keep digging in our unpacked bags until I find our snowboots!