Our Newest Family Member

A year ago when our family visited our current city, we received really bad news.  We were informed that the community we were looking to move into, which is largely Muslim, considers pets (and specifically dogs) unclean, and that people wouldn't come into your home if they knew you had a dog.  The kids, especially Karis, were devastated.  And what made it so much worse was that a dog was the carrot we'd dangled in front of them as the incentive to leave our former city and move across the Gobi Dessert to the other side of the country.  Karis really connects with animals, loving literally every one she comes across, and we thought it would be helpful for them to have that to look forward to as we were anticipating this move as being one that would make them more socially isolated than they'd been previously.  So the "no dog" news was a huge blow.  We've spent the last year trying to figure out some loophole.  We thought maybe we'd have a separate apartment that would be a schoolhouse and we could house the dog there.  We thought maybe we could just keep it a secret from any potential guests, locking it in a back room when people come over.  We've asked around with any new friend in our community, seeking to know if the view of dogs as unclean is pervasive or not.  But alas, it seems like although change is in the air and many in this community are more open to having pets than ever, there is still the stigma attached to most that dogs are unclean and should be avoided.

Karis at the baseball field/farm

If you've had a conversation with Karis in the past year about her feelings toward the move, she's most likely brought up the disappointment of hoping to have a dog and then having that shot down, on the day of her birthday last year, nonetheless.  The counselor who worked with the kids in one of our training sessions even sat Kevin and me down as we were preparing to come, just to make sure we were aware of how big of a loss it was for her as she was looking forward to transitioning to this new city.  So has the pet thing been a big deal in our family?  Yes!

Naptime for everyone!

About a month ago, a neighborhood boy came by with his pet kitten after discovering Karis' love for animals.  After watching her with the kitten falling asleep in her lap, and her sitting there not moving for about an hour or two just reading so as not to awaken the kitten, Kevin and I agreed that it was time to let the kids get a pet.  We'd asked around enough to feel confident that cats were okay according to most of our new friends.  So then the only conflict was in actually getting one.  We've heard some horror stories of people getting pets at the markets here that are disease-ridden, usually dying right away or wreaking havoc in their homes, and we obviously were not excited about that prospect.  Our neighbor offered to show us the way to the countryside where we could pay 3 kaui (the equivalent of 50 cents) for a kitten.  Again....not too excited about what adventure and fleas might come along with that one...So I prayed!  I asked God to just bring us a kitten and make it simple.

Trapper likes the iPad, too

Two days later, we did our usual trek to baseball.  On the way Karis spent about $3 of her allowance to buy apples for a family who lives there.  The baseball field is also somewhat of a farm, with turkeys, sheep, and other livestock living there.  The previous weeks, Karis had made friends with the older couple who was the livestock overseer, and they obviously had taken to her, as they'd allowed her to get into some of the pens (the few that there were; most of the animals roam pretty freely, even on the soccer field where we play baseball!) and feed and pet the animals.  She thought bringing them apples would be a good way (and very culturally appropriate!) to seal their friendship.  She never imagined the response the apples would get!  The couple was thrilled and motioned for her to follow them over to a shed with a board propped up against it.  Low and behold, a mom kitten and her newborn litter of 4 kittens.  They offered to give one to her, and she came flying over to where Kevin and I were finishing up packing up baseball gear to get permission.  We agreed to discuss it and figure out a plan.  The owners of the kittens said they needed a few more weeks with their mom, and then would be ready to leave her.

Four days later was Karis' birthday, just one year from when she'd been disappointed with the news that she couldn't get a pet.  So on her birthday, she and Kevin went shopping and picked out the litter box, food and water bowls, and other basic necessities for a kitten.  The following Saturday, the two of us climbed the fence, ducked under the wire, and tiptoed through the debris to arrive at the home of our adopted family member.  The couple was totally smitten with Karis, and after allowing her to snuggle with one of the kittens for about 5 minutes, decided that the kitten really liked Karis and we needed to take "her" (who we've discovered is actually a "him") home with us immediately.  We were prepared with a small towel in hand, knowing that they planned on sending the kittens home later than that but thinking it could be that day and not wanting to be on the bus with a kitten in hand and nothing else!  So we pretty much ran out of the farm area, hurrying past the overseer of the field who didn't want them to have kittens there and also to escape the mother cat, who the owners said would not be happy with us.  And we've been one big happy family ever since!

I'm pretty sure the kitten was too little to leave it's mother.  They assured me he was 5 weeks old, but I'm guessing a few weeks younger than that (we haven't made it to the vet yet for shots, but hope to do so this week).  He's been a dream kitten.  None of the yucky stuff I thought might come with a barn cat--fleas, diarrhea, bad attitude, dislike of people.  On the contrary, I think he thinks of us as his missing mom and siblings!  He wants to be with the kids all the time, snuggling in their hair and against their necks as much as he can.  He doesn't want to sleep alone, so for the first week the kids took turns sleeping on the floor with him so that when he awakened in the night he would see they were there and then go back to sleep.  Karis and Eli took the most turns doing the night shift, and their response to it was pretty hilarious!  They're both reconsidering becoming parents any time soon, as I explained how similar the kitten, named Trapper, is to a human newborn in having needs that are constant!

The neatest thing about all this to me is seeing His hand of provision throughout the whole thing.  Seeing the timing, the health of the kitten, the sweetness of his disposition, and even Him using Karis' gift with people and her heart to bless this family with apples, resulting in the desire of her heart--all these things have prompted such fun praise and thanksgiving from our kids to their Heavenly Father as they taste and see that He is good!  And talk about a fun playmate for them, especially as we're still trying to figure out just what to do with our time as we plug away at learning a new community and place.  So thankful....

Karis'11th bday ride

As far as other news, I'm still basking in the afterglow of our first trip to the mountains!  We went with two other families and took off for the day (a two-hour drive each way) to go to a beautiful area.  It was still China--lots of people there, but not as many as we're accustomed to seeing in the city of course--but with clean mountain air and remarkable beauty and green all around us.  Karis got to go horseback riding with her girlfriends as her birthday celebration, and the kids all agreed that it was one of the two best days of their lives (they were a little hesitant to say it was the VERY best!).  Now I will say that we were all exhausted the next day; so we're trying to figure out how to do the trek again but have it be less exhausting at least for the parents!  Still yet to be determined, but we're considering doing an overnight there to spread out the play time a bit....

Peace in the Backside of the Tapestry

Painting the boys bedroom walls

I think it's probably a bit overused--the metaphor that our lives are a tapestry.  We can only see what's on the backside most of the time, the knots and loops that are caused as a beautiful picture is being woven to appear on the opposite side.  The point is obvious--that what we see is so limited because our perspective is such that we oftentimes can't see the work of art that is being produced by the knots and tangles that can seem like chaos, even mistakes or errors on the part of the one doing the weaving.  But if I'm honest, I can really relate to that metaphor right now!  Kevin has just returned from a weekend in our old city, and it's caused me to reflect on the multiple changes we're still going through, as well as where we've been these past 5, no, make that 15, years!  Kevin and I are both much more on the "thinking" end than we are on the "feeling" side when it comes to how we look at life, make decisions, etc.  So when I contemplate where we are and what we are doing, I still have to sit back and shake my head in wonder at times.  Where we've been makes sense.  Kevin is an amazing athlete, and so he played pro baseball.  We wanted to check out living overseas, so we went to the Philippines for a semester.  I love teaching high school students, so I taught English the past two years.  Kevin loves tackling goals and seeing projects come to fruition, so he thrived in his Dallas commercial real estate job.  He is a gifted communicator, and so teaching history and even deeper things is something that others have pursued him to do in front of groups.  I've got 4 kids in China (an anomaly!) and have learned a lot from my mistakes, so I've led parenting studies on child-rearing philosophies.  All of these things make sense to me; I can see how each of them fits so well with who we are and how we are wired.

Noah with his best buddy at baseball

But somehow, living beyond the expanse of the Gobi Dessert in what sometimes feels like the middle of nowhere has me not seeing it as clearly.  What are we doing?  How is this going to work?  Are we really okay?  Do I want to stop to ask that question?!

Well I did stop to ask, and I'm glad I did.  I can't honestly say that I'm seeing the big picture at this point.  I don't know what in the world the "work of art" looks like on the other side; but I do know that Heb 11:1 was speaking to my heart in a big way this morning.  The "...evidence of things not seen" is so real to me these days.  There is so much that I not only can't see, but that I also don't understand.  And yet I find great peace in knowing that I don't have to.  I know where I'm supposed to be.  I know who I'm supposed to be here with (and have never been so thankful for such an amazing husband and kids!).  And I know that there is a plan even when I'm not seeing.

Our "throne" seats on our date night

Noah's 6th bday celebration with the family

It's normal for us to feel like foreigners around here.  But this week pushed me when I had a woman in our home as a helper (someone who helps with cooking and cleaning) two different mornings.  This time she was the foreigner because she was in my domain, and I was shocked at what it showed me was within my heart!  It was so hard to let go of my space, my preferences, my time.... The precious woman came dressed in what I'm sure are her finest clothes, as is culturally appropriate.  She literally had on a long evening gown, complete with rhinestones and lace.  And this was to clean my floors and cook a meal!  I was certainly glad when she asked to borrow an apron for the cooking (and even more thankful that I happened to have one, in spite of the fact that I never wear it!).  She doesn't speak a word of Chinese, so communication when Kevin wasn't around was next to impossible.  We did quite a game of charades to figure things out.  The first morning she arrived about 45 minutes late.  And then she didn't have the vegetables she needed, so the kids and I had to run out in the rain to get the tomatoes.  She was convinced I needed to learn more of her language, so she kept rattling off long sentences in her native tongue and waiting for my feeble attempts to repeat them back to her.  She cooks on the stove as any Chinese person does--with lots of oil in a big wok, which means lots of grease splatters and lots of smoke, so our smoke detector went off for about 5 minutes before I could get it to stop blaring.  The kids didn't eat the meal she'd prepared, so they waited until after she left (which was after 1pm) to have lunch.  This evidently really upset her, as she had 2 people inform me before her second day on the job (she was worried that we would wait to eat the second meal again and then the food wouldn't be good any more).  She was in the kitchen so long, she didn't have time to do any of the floors or dusting that I was really hoping to have completed, so my house looked the same when she left as it did when she arrived, with the addition of grease being splattered along the wall by the stove.  I'll be honest, when she left, I cried.  I was so hopeful that being introduced to this sweet woman would help alleviate some of the home stress that I've felt since arriving here.  I hoped it would be a new relationship in which to invest.  Instead I felt disappointed, awkward from having someone in my home all morning, and discouraged that I was mimicking words that had no meaning at all to me as far as communicating anything of significance.

Kevin and Karis in our courtyard

And then the clouds parted and I got a little more perspective.  The woman working in my home is not just about me, it's an opportunity to serve her.  I know that this journey we are on is a long one; it's not a sprint to the finish line, but learning a new language and culture is HARD and takes years before one "arrives."  Having someone in my home is only one step in the process of enculturation.  I saw also how much I was holding to my home as my own personal space, creating it to be what I want rather than holding it loosely with an open palm.  I saw my fear at trying to learn another new language and culture that seems so foreign even from what we've already been studying.  So I'm not giving up yet.  I'm remembering that the tapestry is still very much in process.  I may be seeing knots and pattern fragments at this point, but I'm trusting, based on such an amazing track record of His faithfulness, that something beautiful could come out of all of this.  Maybe not even to be seen in my lifetime, but a work of art nonetheless!  And what a privilege to see, not with my own eyes, but with the ones He gives.  Oh, that grace might abound that I can do so even more, even when all things foreign enter my home!