Monday, May 5, 2014

Less than 2 months left in Tianjin!

Our life normally runs at a pretty fast pace.  But as we prepare to move and also prepare for a 6-month stay back in the US, the number of things on our to-do lists, the people we're trying to spend time with in "memorable" activities, and the errands we're needing to run might be setting new records for us.  So since I've had several people asking what our "normal" routine includes, I'll start off this post with an overview of our family's past week.  Keep in mind that this is including the "extras" that are part of our attempt to leave Tianjin well...
  • Monday--everyone at the International School from the time we leave on the 7am bus until we return home at 4:30pm (Kevin and Ashley teaching their high school classes; all 4 kids in their full-day of classes); homework from 4:30 until 6pm when we eat dinner; reading and bedtime for the kids between 7 and 7:30; Kevin teaches an English class to our Korean neighbor (in exchange for his mom teaching Karis and Eli piano lessons) from 7:30-8:30 while Ashley grades English composition papers
  • Tuesday--Ashley and the kids at school from 7am until12:45 when she (me!) and Noah return home on the bus; Kevin is running errands that whole time, mainly things that are in preparation for our move; Ashley has a Chinese lesson at home from 2-3:15 while Noah has a rest time; pick up the other kids from the bus stop at 4:15, so grocery shopping at the market stores on the way (between 3:30 and 4:15); homework, piano, dinner, and bedtime routine; Kevin has a dinner "study" with a friend wanting to learn more from 6-8pm 
  • Wednesday--Ashley and the kids at school again from 7am until 12:45 when she and Noah return home; Kevin has a morning meeting with a peer and an older mentor; Noah has a playdate with a friend while I grade papers at home; pick up the kids from the bus stop at 4, play outside (it's a clear-sky day!  woohoo!) for a little over an hour; take a group of Kazakh friends out for Mexican food for dinner
  • Thursday--national holiday so no school!  Meet another American family at a restaurant for lunch as a "final fling" with them; Ashley spend most of the afternoon preparing dinner; 5pm one of our longest-time Chinese friends comes over for dinner
  • Friday--back to school for the whole family (Kevin, Ashley and Noah come home at 1:30); Kevin goes to a meeting with other ex-pats that is lifting up some specific requests while I get ready for Hudson's birthday dinner (his 7th bday!); open presents after the kids get home from the bus stop, then have a bday dinner with only our family and our "surrogate grandparents" who are here, Rob and Barb; party includes Papa John's pizza as the main course, outside game of soccer, and then watching "Frozen" after having cake and icecream (with candles that have multi-colored flames--not really sure what would make them do so, so hoping we didn't take in some unknown carcinogens in the time it took between when they were lit and when they were blown out!)
  • Saturday--Kevin takes the kids to soccer from 7:15am until 11:00 while I make some phone calls, clean the house a bit, and do some dinner prep for that evening; 2 couples come over for dinner as our "farewell fling" with them (both were former Chinese teachers at our old language school)
  • Sunday--worship at home as a family (in search of some much-needed "down" time to not feel like we were rushing around so much); lunch at Mc Donalds with our best friends, the Swansons; class-wide going-away party for Hudson and his friends at the water park where we played games and had cupcakes from 2-4:30
So that's it!  Our lives in a nutshell.  Lots of emotions being expressed in pretty much all of us these days.  We're all feeling the weight of transition.  With the move we're making, and the transience of the international community here, the reality is that there's a really good chance we will not be seeing our best friends here again in this lifetime.  We'll be a four-hour flight across the country (or 36 hours by train, if we want to travel the more economical route!).  And so many of our friends here either have plans to move within the next 2 years or else are at the international school where you only sign 2-year contracts (or even 1-year long ones),  the chances of Tianjin being a whole new place a year or two from now is pretty great.  It's a sobering and sad reality that hits like a tidal wave at times....

The number of unknowns regarding our future right now are abundant, too.  We'll be back in the States for 6 months, but we're homeless and carless for most of that time!  There's a good chance we'll have our needs all provided for through our home group in Dallas, but there's still a lot of pieces that need to come together between now and our return on June 25.  Our move out west might be the more unnerving of our questions.  We still don't have confirmation that the company Kevin is planning on working for (a sports company that is just getting started) will be ready to provide a visa for our family by the time we need one (when we plan to move there the first week of January 2015).  The housing market right now out there is geared toward buying rather than renting; so our friends who just moved there last month literally couldn't find an apartment to rent, and therefore ending up buying one at the spur of the moment!  We don't know which group we'll be working with out there (Kevin goes in 2 weeks to take a week-long trip to meet with the different leaders to see if we can determine who would be the best fit, and then our family all goes there from June 11-18 to spend time with as many of the ex-pat families as possible to look for the same thing).  Oh, and there was a terrorist attack this past week in the train station of the city we're going to.  So it's safe to consider not only the region, but also the city we're going to as slightly unstable.  Are we feeling the tension?????  Um, yes.  I must confess that we are--at least in our bodies physically if not at the conscious level!  So we're getting to take our level of dependence and our time on our knees also to a whole new level, as well as trying to stay focused on living one day at a time, taking advantage of every opportunity and every "final fling" with so many who we hold so dear.  We'd appreciate your "thoughts" on our behalf in this same regard!

On a lighter note, I've started to think ahead to our time in the US and how blatant of misfits our family is likely to be.  Karis and I climbed into a taxi the week before last and she couldn't close the door!  She literally didn't know how to hold onto the door properly from the inside and pull the door closed without holding onto the handle.  I realized that our mini-van only has a sliding door; so she's used to using that type.  But every other car she's in has been a taxi, and our normal routine is to have the kids get in first and slide across the back seat to the door that does not open, then Kevin or I climb in last and pull the door shut (this way the kids aren't left out in the street without us being there next to them).  The crazy epiphany made me realize that there are quite a few things our kids just don't know or aren't accustomed to, due to living here in China.  And the boys haven't been back in 2 years, so they're really out of touch with typical American culture!   So here are a few things that we've probably picked up along the way from living in an Asian society for the past 5 years (this is a warning--and apology!--to those of you who we'll be seeing over the next 6 months in the US!):
  • being more comfortable finding a bush to pee in outside rather than looking for an indoor bathroom (there aren't many of those in public places, and if they do have them they're too unsanitary to use without having to burn your shoes afterward)
  • pushing to get through a door or onto an elevator (we live in a city of 14 million; you snooze, you lose!)
  • talking about a person's appearance or actions right in front of them (we're used to no one understanding our English, so you can get away with commenting on their crazy outfit or decayed teeth without offending them)
  • asking how old someone is or how much money something costs that belongs to another person (these questions are totally okay to ask in this culture!)
  • ZERO personal space (again, we live in a city of 14 million....); they'll walk so close that you're bumping shoulders most of the time
  • preferring to drink tea with their breakfast than oj or milk (regular, old-fashioned green Chinese tea is their beverage of choice whenever they can get it!  at least for the older kids)
  • no comprehension of phone etiquette (we are rarely if ever on our phone, so the kids don't have an understanding of when we are, they need to wait until we get off in order to talk to us)
  • putting bunny ears up with their finger in every photo that is taken of them (that is the Asian norm; you don't take a photo without at least one hand holding up the "V" or bunny ears!)
So we'd appreciate your prs and your grace as we seek to transition well and not be total freaks upon our re-entry into the US!!  No doubt, the 5 years we've spent here have changed us in more ways than we even are aware of.  We've definitely had our love for jiaozi (Chinese dumplings) increase significantly! :)