Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Turkey Day Preparations!

This past weekend we were able to celebrate a major success as a family.  We were invited to our ayi's house for dinner with all her extended family!  For the past 4 years, Ayi (the Chinese word for "aunt", and typically refers to someone who is somewhat like a maid--responsible for doing cooking and cleaning in your home) has worked in our home and we've considered her to be part of our family.  She watches the kids if I need to go out and she's here, and she's become somewhat of a grandmother-figure for Noah, in particular, who has been home more than the other kids who are at school full-days.  We have hoped for opportunities to deepen our relationship with her, and so have multiple times invited her family to come over to our home on different weekends for meals.  But all to no avail!  They have never been willing to come, as they have never met foreigners before and according to ayi, are really embarrassed and afraid to do so.  But this past weekend, we were thrilled and blessed to be invited to THEIR home--which is even more of an honor in this culture!  So we packed up on Saturday afternoon and took off to an even where we were to be treated as royalty.  I'll tell ya what, the Chinese level of hospitality puts us to shame!  We started off at our ayi's sister's house (ayi didn't want us to come to her house because she's embarrassed about how small it is--about 650 sq.ft.--and this is where she, her daughter, and her mother all live).  They had an entire table of snacks and drinks out for us; and all were the kids' favorites, as ayi knows well what we eat at our home.  They had purchased the most expensive fruit, which is a generous sign of hospitality, and no doubt stretched the family's meager budget.  We chatted at their home, with them insisting we sit on all the most comfortable seats in the crowded living room, while the rest of the family stood, squatted, or sat in the less desirable places.  Once all the extended family had arrived, including aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandma, we shuffled out the door to a nearby restaurant.  They ordered a feast, and the things they had brought for us to use were amazing.  They had decorative napkins  (which you can't find hardly anywhere here in China!) that they laid out like placemats at each of our seats at the table, full-size dinner plates (restaurants usually only have small bowls or plates that are smaller than American-sized dessert plates), silverware (they were concerned we couldn't use chopsticks, but were thrilled to discover that even the kids could do so!), and cups (the ones at restaurants are shot-size glasses, but ayi knows we prefer to drink more with our meal).  The hospitality was overwhelming and humbling to see people with so little giving so much.  The evening seemed to go splendidly for everyone, and we were so thankful for the opportunity to get to have deeper conversations with some of the family members that we barely knew before.

As we drove away from the restaurant to return home I had to blink back the tears.  As we're preparing to move after this school year, the reality of how many precious friends we have here is really sinking in.  I did something last week that I at first thought was a mistake, but I think ended up being very beneficial for my processing through our leaving Tianjin.  I kept track of the hours that I was putting into teaching--either at school or at home in preparation.  My part-time job of teaching only 2 classes per day has ended up translating into at least 30 hours of work per week; and that is on my "slow" week where I don't have one extra-long day of class due to our block schedule!  At first I was really frustrated thinking that I'm putting in 30-40 hours a week and trying to be a mom and wife, not to mention invest in others outside my home and the school walls.  I felt resentful that my job was taking so much of my time.  But then I had a series of conversations with other foreigners who are living here and noticed a theme:  all were tired, discouraged, and even contemplating hanging up the towel to return "home."  I had an epiphany:  that those of us who are living cross-culturally are all tired, and we all need encouragement and grace from one another in order to make it for the long haul.  So I had an attitude adjustment.  I got confirmation in my heart that our family is on the right track; the move we are looking forward to in the future is what we are supposed to be doing.  To remain here in Tianjin and continue working 4o hours a week at a part-time job will not allow us to complete the tasks we came here to do.  It would be a vacuum that would suck us further into the ex-pat community; which is a GREAT place--but not where we are supposed to live, at least right now.  But while we're here for the next 7 months, there's an awful lot of good that we could do, mainly by encouraging others around us to complete the tasks that they have been called to with excellence.  So my mission this past week has been to love and encourage others around me; and to let myself off the hook when I feel frustrated and disappointed that my job takes so much of my time that I have to say "no" to other opportunities that I'd like to do--at least for this season!  And I've felt the burden of frustration and resentment amazingly lift, and also a renewed energy to get beyond myself and reach out to others in the hopes that I can refresh and re-energize using His grace. 

On a lighter note, the kids are doing great, and soaking up all the fun school activities that they can.  They just had "Crazy Hair" day at school, so you can see how they each styled their hair to show their friends (Noah's class didn't have it, thus he is not in the pic).  Eli and Hudson also both won awards at their Super Saturday Soccer celebration for the fall.  This was a huge encouragement to them both; for Hudson it was his first medal to receive, and I don't think he's taken it off for longer than a few minutes when they're at home! 

We decided to give up TaeKwonDo for the time being in order for Eli to take piano lessons with Karis.  They are both having a blast doing that and Eli's made great progress.  We figure we get enough wrestling on our living room floor to make up for any lack of exercise in TKD lessons!

I started my Thanksgiving meal preparation yesterday and thought I'd include a photo for those who might be complaining about the size of their kitchen this holiday season!  I'm pretty sure there aren't many American kitchens out there that have LESS counter space than I do to work with, so thought a little perspective is always nice! :)  Rather than spending $6 per can of pumpkin, I was in the process of making my own in these pictures.  You can buy pumpkins at the market (I spent about $2.50 on these two) and then stem them and have delicious "canned" pumpkin to use for pies and my other favorite recipes!  One more step in the process, but as long as I promised to take the seeds out, Noah was really excited to be in on the action (he had to eat one at school one day and has had a fear of eating pumpkins ever since).

While I'm at it, I'll include the photo I just took to ask my interior-designer mom for help!  We just purchased a new sofa as my Christmas present (our last one was a Chinese one that was total JUNK!  I couldn't stand the dilapidated cushions any longer, and so we just purchased an Ikea one) and my mom is hopefully going to help me try to coordinate what I already had with what I've newly purchased.  But you can also see the entire family's favorite thing in the house--the basketball hoop!  We've had the thing for years, but last spring when Kevin was out of town for a week and a half I put the thing in the living room and it has remained the focal point of our home ever since.  Literally daily the kids (and usually Kevin) play on it--they've learned all their favorite games--PIG, Knock Out, and quite a few others that they've created on their own.  We have stacks of paper on the coffee table that show the results of the numerous competitions that their dad and I are asked to judge.  I'm so thankful for our home and the space (and so far, gracious neighbors who don't seem to mind the pounding) to be able to play so freely in spite of not having a driveway out back to do so!