Holiday Weekend

After my last post describing the "wall" that I hit, we've had a refreshing two weeks of slowing down (somewhat!) and then getting back into our usual routine--with, of course, the rapid pace that comes with any holiday celebration. Our first big piece of news was a new purchase--a swing! I've mentioned before that swings here are incredibly hard to come by. But would you believe our apartment community actually has a post all set up to hang swings on (even including all the hardware needed to attach the swings), that happens to be only one building over from us?! I've noted several occasions where grandparents have brought their small grandchildren over, hung their swings, and then removed them again for their walk home! It's always amused me that someone doesn't just invest in a swing to put there that cannot be removed, but in our 2 years here so far I have yet to see a community swing installed. So about a week and a half ago another family passed on a used infant/toddler swing for us to use (after I discovered Noah and Hud's love, in particular, for swing time while at the international school playground); and then I discovered a family operating a very small retail operation out of their home--with the items they were selling being displayed in their window to attract customers. One of the items was a swing! So I purchased the swing, with the plan being that I can actually hook two swings up to the already established poles and swing both Noah and one other big kid at the same time! We had a blast. In spite of the weather turning much colder and more windy, they boys have loved time outside on the swing set, and I'm loving the time with them in a contained area that allows them to return home without being totally covered in filth from outdoor exploring! A win-win for everyone!!

Our second big piece of news is the mother's study I've now done for the last two Saturdays. Talk about re-energizing and exhausting all at the same time! I am LOVING the time with this group of Chinese moms--all with kids younger than mine, and all desperately trying to figure out how the heck to raise their kid. You think moms in the US get overwhelmed--the moms here have a whole other world full of challenges. All (except one) of these moms are working (mostly full-time), so their small kids (all under the age of 4) are being raised either by their own mom or their mother-in-law, who oftentimes lives with the family full-time. But this generation of grandparents didnt' raise their own kids either (also had them raised by their parents), so these grandparents raising the kids have zero experience from which to draw. Add on top of that soooo many cultural issues--like short-term thinking rather than long-term, competition being the driving force to everything, discipline being based on humiliation rather than focusing on correcting behavior, etc.--and what you have is a group of moms in totally over their heads. And yet what a great opportunity to see and really feel a need for Something bigger than your self to come to you in your hour of need! We are reading Shepherding a Child's Heart (which is printed here in Chinese) and then discussing it each week for a series of 4 weeks. I have been so encouraged each week by the womens' response to the teaching time and their willingness to share, ask questions, and encourage one another. I feel for them--to be trying to have a vision for the big picture of what they desire for their child and how they want them to treat others in a society that just doesn't think about or emphasize such things leaves them feeling really alone and isolated in most instances.

The language aspect has been a real stretch for me. My goal has been to do as much in Chinese as I possibly can. I must confess that by the second week, my "Chinglish" was coming out more than I'd hoped! The good news is that all of these women do understand English pretty well, so I think that all I was hoping was clearly communicated. And it's really stretched my vocabulary! The other women only use Chinese, so I'm getting to strain myself (so that I'm pretty wiped out afterward) to make sure I'm understanding the gist of what all is being shared. I am super blessed to have one of my best western friends here (Natalie) doing the study with me. She has lived here for over 7 years so her Chinese is great. And also, my best Chinese friend here (and teacher) who is not even married yet is attending, mainly with the purpose of being moral support for me! She has been diligent to take notes for me each week over the questions the other ladies have, just in case I miss some of their meaning! I'm loving doing this so much, that besides missing the time away from the family (we're doing the study on Saturday afternoons), I can really see how this could be one of my most favorite ways to try to serve others here in China.

This past weekend was filled with Thanksgiving celebrations. We had a group of our closest Chinese friends over on Thursday to join us for a full Thanksgiving feast. We dined in full southern style--complete with sweet and sour green beans, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, spiced peaches, creamed corn, cranberries, homemade rolls (thanks to my friend, Charis!), and of course turkey! Followed by apple and pumpkin pie, with apple cider to top it all off. I chucked when the turkey was delivered from the import store and the tag said it came straight from Minnesota! Oh, and my favorite question as of late was when I ordered the turkey over the phone. The man on the other end at the import store asked, "When we deliver the turkey, would you like it frozen or melted?"!!

Our friends seemed to really enjoy the meal, which honestly surprised me a bit, but I'm thinking they are getting more and more used to our western-style of eating and can handle more of our heavy dishes and large quantities of meat! It was my first turkey to cook by myself, and other than being a little bit dry (I went with the on-line suggested cooking times rather than when the pop-out thermometer said the bird was done), we all decided the flavor was quite good. After we ate together, we had a sweet time of singing together and then sharing what all He has done for us that we are thankful for this past year. It was so encouraging to hear our friends bubbling over with the joy that comes only from Him and being able to rejoice together in His goodness!

The following day (Friday), we had our group of western friends over to celebrate--27 in all (including 16 adults and 11 kids)! Talk about a full house! Our almost 2000 sq. ft. apartment definitely felt the weight of that many guests (as I'm sure our neighbors down below did, too!), but we were thankful to have as much space as we do for the kids to run around together and to set up the multiple tables needed to seat that large a number. In spite of having so many guests, my preparation was not nearly as great, as my only contributions to the meal were purchasing and carving 6 rotisserie chickens, mashed potatoes, gravy, pecan pie, apple cider, and turkey cookies (which the kids made with sugar-cookie hand-print cut-outs and then decorated with icing and sprinkles). The kids had the day off from school (and only went a half-day on Thursday), so they had fun helping me set up all the table decorations and even making individual name cards for each of the kids. (They also spent a good amount of time playing with Bo, the bunny, and building with Legos--like the one in the picture with Eli holding his T-Rex creation!) One of the couples who came even downloaded a football game for us to watch on tv, making the feel of Thanksgiving and being able to celebrate with precious friends that much more complete!

Hitting a Wall

I experienced another first this past week--hitting a wall in a way I never have before! This past week was full of the usual activities of meeting with friends, hostessing, having some foreign friends and their kids over for playdates. We've also had some pretty heavy stuff lately we've been dealing with concerning future decisions, things we're doing here, who we're spending time with, etc. All this to say, I think that it all finally added up and ended up landing me in bed for the better part of two days! After being completely exhausted and barely able to stay awake while we had friends over on Thursday night, I crashed as soon as I could and managed to get up and the kids out the door on Friday morning. But once Noah and I got back from the bus stop, I literally could not pull myself off of the couch, even in response to Noah's persistent requests of "Read book, Mommy! Read book!" I struggled through several Dr. Seuss books from the library while still in a horizontal position (during which time Noah decided that sitting on my stomach was a good substitute for sitting on my lap!). Once our ayi came at 9:30, I explained to her that I was exhausted for some reason and just needed a little rest. Noah was only too happy to run outside and play with her so that I could retreat to my bed upstairs--where I spent the next 3 hours! I managed to pull myself out of bed to welcome Hud home a little after noon, sat with the boys while they ate, then again returned upstairs to lay down. After a SECOND two-hour long nap, which included skipping my scheduled Chinese class for the day, I spent a little time with the kids once they got home from school. Kevin graciously offered to take them all out to ride bikes, giving me another hour of down time before dinner. We did a family movie night, largely because that was about all that I was up for, and I again went to bed shortly after the kids did at about 9pm, sleeping through the whole night!

Now some of you reading might just be thinking this is my norm--but it certainly is not! I've never been so tired that a two-hour long nap couldn't cure my fatigue, so this has taken it to a whole new level!

Saturday was kind of a repeat of Friday for me, this time only taking two naps during the day and still being able to prepare dinner and host some of our Chinese friends who came over that night. But what has baffled me about the whole thing is that I have had no "sick" symptoms this whole time, other than a mild lingering cough that came with a cold I consider myself recovered from. So what is my self-proclaimed diagnosis? I'm thinking fatigue, and my body's way of telling me to shut it down for a little while. Which kind of feels like a terminal illness to me in some cases! Kevin has helped me intentionally weed out any "extras" in our schedule this week, something that is incredibly difficult for me to do myself. Dr. Kevin's orders are that I am to be focusing only on those things that I really want to do that would refresh me and preparing for a parenting study I'm leading that will begin this Saturday (I have a group of Chinese friends who have been asking me to teach on parenting--I seem to have fooled them into thinking that I'm some sort of expert largely due to the fact that I have more kids than anyone else around!). This study itself has taken it out of me already, as I'm trying to do it all in Chinese, and feel like my language ability really is not there yet! I've spent lots of time preparing and translating, and have learned probably a hundred new vocabulary words in the process. So thrilling, yet exhausting all at the same time! I'm sure I will have all sorts of funny stories to tell after our first meeting on Saturday!

So this evening my enjoyable activity was just to spend time with my kids--specifically trying to teach them all to two-step around our living room to Randy Travis' "Deeper than the holler" (which brought back great memories of this summer when we happened to see Randy at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where Kevin and I were being treated to an absolutely amazing dinner--and smiles over the memories of my brother-in-law Rob's enthusiasm at the performer's presence only tables away from where we were sitting!) The easiest-to-lead award of the night definitely went to Noah, NOT because of his disposition, but because I could pick him up completely and spin him around with fewer inches of arms flailing to contend with. The most enthusiastic award went to Karis, who thought she was just being carried away by the rhythm, begging me to put the song on repeat again and again. Hudson was a little too busy practicing his blocking moves on his littlest brother that he'd just learned at Tai Kwon Do practice to be too interested in which foot should go forward first!

My favorite quote of the week was by Karis, who was desperately seeking her Daddy's full attention this weekend. I can tell this story only because Kevin is SUCH an attentive and engaging dad pretty much all of the time, making this story even more laughable! While Kevin was doing something on the iPad on Saturday morning, Karis stuck her nose in between him and the screen and stated very emphatically, "Dad, I'm here! It's Saturday!" (In other words, "I'm ready to play--give me your undivided attention!") So thankful for the frankness of our kids in expressing just what exactly their little needs are at any given moment! :)

Lots of Posing!

Yesterday after rest time I took all of the kids to Trash Mountain to try to take advantage of the beautiful fall colored leaves that are sprinkled throughout the park on many of the trees. We originally planned to go on Saturday, but due to a constant drizzle and the cold that has become more of a daily presence we decided to forgo that plan and head to the supermarket indoor play area instead to let the kids expend some energy. Unfortunately, maybe a little too much energy was put forth, as one of our friends' daughters who joined us there ended up falling on her arm at an awkward angle, leaving us concerned that she had possibly broken a bone. Kevin took the little girl (Katelynne) and her dad to a Chinese hospital for an x-ray, with one of our best national friends here, whose mom is a doctor and whose friend owns and drives a car, guiding them along the way and through the process (the Chinese hospitals kind of work on a take-a-number and get in line system, and can get really difficult to navigate if you're not very familiar with the process--and if you're not ready to be a little bit on the pushy side in order to keep your place in line!). We were all so relived to find out that Katelynne's arm was okay, and had the added blessing of having her dad have his ear checked out, only to discover that the pain he's had for the past several weeks was due to a pretty serious ailment--an infection along with a perforated diaphragm. Again, thankful that he was able to be checked out and get the medicine he needs too to be on the road to recovery! It was a great reminder of how blessed we are to have such an incredible network of friends here who will drop whatever they are doing to help us when we are in need--even when it means spending literally all day at the hospital working the system!

Anyway, back to the photo op. I wondered if we maybe wouldn't draw a crowd, as most of the time when I have all 4 out in public together this is our trend. The funny part was how many others there at the park had the same thing in mind of trying to capture the beautiful fall leaves--which meant LOTS of people and LOTS of cameras at the park! The kids handled it beautifully, with Karis turning a little bit pink in the cheeks as she murmured between her lips while smiling, "Mom, all these people are watching us!" And sure enough, the crowd and the flashes that were present were pretty unbelievable. If I wasn't so intent on capturing the most ideal expression on each of my four monkey's faces I would have stopped to count how many were gathered around at any given moment. But alas, I was determined (and I think succeeded!) in getting all four of mine at least looking in the right direction at one time! The other truly humorous moment was when one mother was bold enough to step right up to where my kids were posed on the rock wall and insert her probably 2 year old into our family photo op! I didn't have to say anything, but made it clear that I was intentionally NOT trying to include her little one in our family shot, hoping not to offend to greatly!

After we took the pictures for 20 minutes or so, I rewarded the kids with some free time to explore. They had a blast making "jelly" out of the red berries they found and squashed between leaves and collecting sticks and other treasures under the cover of the low-hanging branches near where we were. The kids loved the outside play time, and we finished up our evening by trekking partially up the mountain and then back down closer to where the three wheeler awaited our return.

As we finished our walk, I took note of the array of clothing that the people jogging past on the path were wearing (they have added in the last year a path that is paved officially for jogging or walking, which is truly a rare find indeed, making the path well-traveled most times of the day). We saw a little bit of everything, but the most amusing was the man jogging (and I'm pretty sure not just in a hurry to get from one place to another!) in a dri-fit style t-shirt, but also wearing a men's blazer (or sport coat)! I wish I could say that this is unusual, but I regularly see people on the jogging trail in clothes not very many Westerners would consider proper sports apparel. Especially in the shoe category! Authentic running shoes that are of good quality here are REALLY expensive, much more so than most nationals could afford, which I assume is why I see so many people walking or running in shoes that definitely leave something to be desired in the support category. It makes me sad and concerned for their joints, knees, and backs each time I see it!

The other photo is of the boys last week and their first week of Tai kwon do lessons. We found a place here in our apartment community and after a few times of observing the instructor at work, decided it would be a great fit for our boys. And they LOVED it! It was so fun to talk with them about it after their first class, hear their enthusiasm over the kicks and punches and the possibility of moving up to eventually achieve a black belt. Kevin stayed with them the whole time to help translate as necessary (their instructor is a young Korean man, who we discovered is like-minded, which probably has much to do with his a-typical kind demeanor towards the kids). The teacher uses both Chinese and Korean in class, and occasionally sprinkles in some English for the sake of Eli and Hud! We are super thankful for this opportunity for them to be able to participate in some sort of organized sport, and Kevin and I both feel strongly that sports are a great way for kids to have character-building opportunities and life-growth chances that they could otherwise not be confronted with as much. It should also provide some great exercise, which will be especially beneficial as the winter is fast approaching! We have just started counting down the days (only 8 now!) until the heat is turned on as our apartment floors are starting to feel cold in spite of the wool socks we're wearing! :)