This was my reality this week! We had friends who had heard about the opening of this new water park and we all decided it was worth it to try it out. I'm still not sure how to sum up the experience. Except that the next 3 hours were pretty similar to the entrance into the park. LOTS of people, LOTS of things that seemed quite inefficient, LOTS of things that really grossed me out. And the kids LOVED it. Every minute of it! Even when, after playing for 3 hours, they still hadn't even gotten to go on one of the huge slides that were the main attraction. In spite of the fact that we arrived when the park opened, they had still run out of tubes by the time Kevin got to the front of the line to purchase one to use (they were required for almost all of the slides). So Kevin found 2 slides that did not require the tubes and waited with the kids for about 45 minutes before giving up. There was one line that fed into 4 different slides. The side he wanted to get on had NOBODY riding it; but because they had to wait in the line that fed into the other slides, they literally were not moving at all. And the whole "wait in line" term should be used loosely whenever you're talking about China. Kevin couldn't even count the number of people he was seeing hopping over the gate to get in front of them. The kids finally settled on foregoing the slides and playing in the splash park area and playing tag in the lazy river that flowed around the park instead.
I, in the meantime, was on Noah. My main goal was to move him from location to location, trying to minimize the number of people who couldn't keep their hands off of him! He handled it really well, but I couldn't count the number of times he was literally being picked up and having his arms grabbed by the nationals who were fascinated by this active little blond-haired foreigner. It was a great picture of how cultural the concept of standing in line is, and how it is so subtly taught to each generation. I listened as one grandmother told her toddler that there was a line for one of the kiddie slides, and they needed to wait. She proceeded to wedge her grandchild as close to the front and then maneuver them past the other little kids whenever a window of opportunity showed itself. Sure enough, her toddler was able to go down the slide much sooner than the other kids who had been standing there without such an assertive adult to help out. I kept thinking how subtle a message had been sent to that little one as they listened to the grandmother's definition of "wait in line" and then experienced her expertise in getting around the others who had already been there longer. Makes sense why there is a country of 1.3 billion people, none of whom seem to have the same definition as us who are Westerners!I'm guessing that many of you who are living Stateside have experienced this to some degree first-hand. You've probably had someone with an Asian face step in front of you to get on an elevator, push in front in line, or violate some other North American cultural norm in a way that caused you offense. It's seeing how culture works from the inside out that has helped create some sense of understanding on my part; it has given me a patience (not all days!) that allows me to see others' actions as not being intentionally rude, but as simply part of how you survive in a place like China. If you don't participate in the standard "line philosophy" that prevails, you literally will never get your turn in the bathroom stall, your lunch order placed at McDonalds, your groceries paid for, etc.
So while I understand at a cognitive level this cultural difference, and most days can even have patience with what would otherwise be extremely frustrating, this is not always the case! I'm not a person prone to anxiety, but I must admit that I was feeling as close to a panic attack as I've even been while at the waterpark. By the time we left that afternoon, I was relieved to be away from the crowds, the noise, the kids urinating all around the sides of the pool. I took a few Tylenol to get over my headache and thought I was good to go. However, the next morning, I was coming back from a bike ride and was getting on the elevator when a neighbor got on at the same time. She did the usual--pushed on behind me, crowding into my "personal space" and rushing ahead to push the button to her floor before I could get to mine. Usually, this wouldn't phase me, but this time I could feel the irritation rising. It was a good "temperature check" for me to realize that my cultural stress level was higher than I'd realized, and it was a great day to lay low! I took the kids with a few friends to the international school library (only speaking English there!) and made western food (and dessert!) for dinner that night. By the next day, I had realigned enough to be ready to head out and face the world--hopefully with an attitude that was honoring to the Lord and loving toward those around me!
One other humorous cultural adventure this week was when our ayi brought her dog to our house for the day. She knew that the kids are nuts about dogs, so she had mentioned that she would bring hers sometime. We agreed, but didn't determine any specifics at the time. So we were somewhat surprised when ayi showed up with a very small poodle-like (ie, ugly) dog with a muzzle on it's snout! To sum it up, by the end of the day the dog had bitten the kids twice, had peed on the carpet once, and wouldn't leave our ayi's side without whining or barking. And then the really funny part was the miscommunication when our ayi was getting ready to leave. She used a verb that has multiple meanings--it generally means "put". So I misunderstood what she was saying, thinking she was saying that she was going to put the dog on her bike, when really she was saying she was going to put (or leave) the dog at our house--overnight! Maybe for good? We're still not sure on that part....But after I'd agreed and then she started giving me all kinds of extra information, such as that the dog wakes up at 5:30 or 6am and needs to go out to the bathroom, etc., I realized what she was planning on doing, and quickly cleared up the misunderstanding, telling her that we were not allowed to have dogs at our apartment at our landlord's request. I think it was okay to refuse to keep the dog, and Kevin and I were much relieved that we didn't have to put up with the thing in our apartment any longer than we did!
And somehow, with all of these cultural differences, we're not just surviving here, but we're really thriving and thankful for the relationships that we've been blessed with. Last night we celebrated Kevin's 37th birthday. I had him pick who he wanted to invite to our family's dinner celebration. They were all our best Chinese friends! I realized how sweet it is to have these friends who are more like family to us here, who help us navigate and understand the vast cultural divide, who encourage and spur us on in the midst of feeling like strangers so often, who make us appreciate all the positive aspects of Chinese culture instead of just focusing on the negative. We are truly blessed!
In closing, one cute Noah-ism from this week. When I was reading to him before nap time, he snuggled close and I teased as I snuggled him back, "Where did you come from?" He paused for a minute, obviously thinking, then said, "From 'merica!" He might be more Chinese than American, but he at least is aware of his roots! :)