Changing into Raccoons

We've survived the first week and 2 days of school!  We're off and running on another school year, and it's hard to believe how quickly it feels like everything starts up again around here.  So far, we've been incredibly thankful at how much the kids have all enjoyed their classmates and teachers.  Karis is in 4th grade, and just loves everything about school.  Eli is in 2nd, and is super excited to have a male teacher.  He does fun things like teach the kids how seeds are spread through bird poop, complete with the tooting sound effects and bottom-wriggle motion that would help them remember the whole process!  Hudson made it through the first week of 1st grade with very few tears, except the one day he accidentally went into the girls' bathroom and had the whole class laughing at him (he did recover quickly, however, according to his teacher).  And Noah is in junior kindergarten and still begging me every day to let him stay for the full day instead of coming home with me at noon!  Kevin and I are each teaching 2 high school classes, and we've even already made it through the first parent Open House and the presentations we had to give the parents (Korean parents, which make up most of the families enrolled in the school, traditionally take education VERY seriously and are extremely competitive about their child's academic success.)

In spite of the first week going well, I must confess that it was a bit overwhelming for me personally.  I had forgotten how much time and energy (both physical and emotional) it takes to teach only 2 hours per day!  I think a combination of the early mornings and getting into a new routine rattled me more than I expected it to.  That was coupled with the fact that Kevin ended up getting sick for 2 days, so I was minus the pair of extremely capable hands I have come to count on, and even had to teach 2 of his classes for him on one day since he had to go home sick.  Our weekend has been pretty low-key, and has helped me re-group and be reminded that I need to give myself and everyone else in the family some time to make the adjustment from the summer schedule to that of the school year.  I'm hoping that as things become a bit more routine, the "extra" things that we like to do, that are anything beyond that of basic survival, will become more of a joy and less of a burden in my mind!  At our fellowship time this morning, the message was on II Thess 5, and I must confess that my heart leaped as the teacher closed with the words that "One day we will be entering the rest that we receive in His presence...."  Thinking I need to experience a bit of that rest right here, right now, even if it is but a shadow of what is to come!

Karis and Eli spent the last week of their summer break helping out our friend Ms. Barbara teach an English camp to some of the Chinese kids in her community.  It was really precious to see their enthusiasm and willingness to jump in.  I stayed on the first day of camp to make sure that my crew could be the helpers they were intended to be, and was cracking up as the kids attending the camp were writing out their name tags.  There were three little boys the first week; their names were Perry, Larry, and Harry!  Not really sure who came up with them, or if maybe one of them did to start and the rest just followed suit with whatever rhyming words they could, but thought it was pretty cute (even if somewhat confusing!).

I also spent some time before school started visiting a Chinese friend who has recently had a baby (her first, of course).  The poor girl was so confused because she was getting so many mixed messages!  The situation in China is that usually a new mother has both her mother and mother-in-law come and help her right after the birth of a baby.  So she's got LOTS of suggestions and advice being offered at every crossroad!  Both grandmothers were insistent that the baby should never cry.  The mother-in-law had even convinced my friend that because her child was a boy, if he did cry very much at all, he would have problems with his male anatomy later in life!  I didn't ask for specifics, but tried to hide my shock and assure her that as far as I was aware, my 3 male-cryers had no such issue, in spite of the fact that I was not afraid to let them cry it out a bit in certain situations!

Our first weekend after school started we decided to celebrate by going to 2 of the kids favorite places--the newest mall in town that has an indoor arcade-type play place, and the lake where we've been letting them swim.  Kevin kept all 4 kids afloat long enough for me to get some swim training in for the triathlon I'm training for, and we were able to come home and turn the bathtub water a dingy gray as we washed off (but still no signs of any sickness as a result!).  I am in countdown for the tri--only 1 month away before I head out of town on an overnight train to compete in a sprint triathlon with 3 other friends.  We'll be swimming 750m, biking 20k, and running 5k.  I've felt pretty good about the training until recently, as I've run into more people who have shared some pretty scary stories!  Evidently this is the most difficult course in China due to the hills.  There's one that you bike up and down that the majority of women supposedly get off and walk their bikes!  Not sure about my planning in doing this course as my very first one, but I figure if I survive it without having a disastrous experience, I might be hooked to do others around China! 

The mall excitement, in addition to playing ski ball and some fun basketball games, was when we found this huge screen outside a department store.  It was a huge interactive screen that projected a video of the people (mainly kids) standing in front of the stage area.  The kids can move around and virtually pop balloons, wipe away drops of water, etc.  But the funniest part was the lightning and fire.  At one point, there were virtual bolts of lightning that would come down and strike anything that was in motion on the screen!  Kevin and I were trying to imagine this ever being considered okay in the US!  The other funny screen was when those in motion turned into fire balls.  Kevin and I couldn't help but chuckle as we watched our kids being "struck by lightning" and then bursting into flame every time they moved, which as you could imagine, was quite often!

Our other main even of the week was taking care of traffic tickets.  The system is completely INSANE here.  You get tickets by cameras that are on the roads, and you only find out about them by receiving a notice by mail (sometimes, and then it arrives about 3-4 months after your violation) or by being able to log in on-line (which a friend has just helped us learn how to do).  For every violation you receive, you also get 3 points.  You are only allowed to get 9 points per year, and then if you hit 12, you have to take some tests and do some sort of all-day defensive driving course.  So our year of time had only 1 month left and Kevin and I needed to NOT get 2 tickets in order to be cleared and start over again for the year with a clean slate.  And wouldn't you believe it; somehow we got 2 tickets in that amount of time!  It is SOOOOOO frustrating because the reason for the tickets is incredibly arbitrary (you can go in reverse on a highway ramp against the flow of traffic with no problem, but if you swerve out of your lane while crossing some intersection to avoid hitting the old man on the bike, you can get a ticket for your tire touching the white line) and there is no chance for recourse (there is no officer giving you the ticket at the time for you to explain why your wheel was on the line).  Furthermore, the way you accrue points is just crazy, because anyone can "take" your points for you!  So if you have 9 points and then get another ticket, if you have a friend who is willing to take your 3 points and go to the police station with you, you can simply pass off your ticket to their name and drivers' license.  Doesn't seem to be the most efficient system in our minds.... But the long story short is that we found incredibly grace when we went to the police station.  The lady working the counter allowed us to put the points on the next years' calendar.  So we're saved from having to take the course and the tests for now, but are not starting off this next year in very good driving record-standing!  Hoping for the best as we continue to learn the laws of the land pertaining to what is and is not acceptable in China-driving!

The last cute Noah-ism to share was from this week when Noah came home with stories from his classroom.  He explained that the 3 caterpillars that had been brought in earlier in the week had changed into "raccoons"!  When I questioned if he was sure they hadn't become "cocoons", he assured me that they were most definitely raccoons.  His teacher had said so, and she knows.  How can I argue with that?!

Awfully Cattle-Like

Imagine waiting in line for a good 20 minutes, elbowing any other bystanders who were trying to wedge their way in front of you, trying to protect 5 little girls from being on the receiving end of any thrown elbows, only to enter the flow of women who were moving en masse past large trash cans filled with yellow plastic slippers--all mismatched in size and matching pairs.  You pick up (as quickly as you can, in order to keep from being run over from behind) 2 slippers and move into a large locker room filled with women (most of whom are not wearing clothes), smelly bathrooms, and a deafening buzz of voices jabbering away giving instructions on their blaring, individual PA systems.  Once you've changed into your suit and gotten your belongings put into your locker, donning your fashionable yellow slippers for the trek into the next part of the process, you get in line yet again to show your proper id that allows you entrance, prove that you're not carrying anything extra on your person, then walk through a gushing torrent of water that falls down on you in order to rinse you off.  At this point, your friend in line behind you begins mooing like a cow, a statement on the way the process is making both of you feel, this time even more uncomfortable than the last line experience due to the fact that you're only wearing your bathing suit and therefore feeling quite vulnerable because of the large number of women you're crammed against.  You finally arrive at the entrance--the stair case leading up to the "promised land"--the indoor waterpark that apparently can hold 20,000 people--all of whom seem to be in attendance that day!  You don't have to look for the males in your family for long; all the Chinese people know that you must belong to the only other foreigners who are there, the only ones crazy enough to brave the crowds and make a memory, so they point you in their direction immediately.

This was my reality this week!  We had friends who had heard about the opening of this new water park and we all decided it was worth it to try it out.  I'm still not sure how to sum up the experience.  Except that the next 3 hours were pretty similar to the entrance into the park.  LOTS of people, LOTS of things that seemed quite inefficient, LOTS of things that really grossed me out.  And the kids LOVED it.  Every minute of it!  Even when, after playing for 3 hours, they still hadn't even gotten to go on one of the huge slides that were the main attraction.  In spite of the fact that we arrived when the park opened, they had still run out of tubes by the time Kevin got to the front of the line to purchase one to use (they were required for almost all of the slides).  So Kevin found 2 slides that did not require the tubes and waited with the kids for about 45 minutes before giving up.  There was one line that fed into 4 different slides.  The side he wanted to get on had NOBODY riding it; but because they had to wait in the line that fed into the other slides, they literally were not moving at all.  And the whole "wait in line" term should be used loosely whenever you're talking about China.  Kevin couldn't even count the number of people he was seeing hopping over the gate to get in front of them.  The kids finally settled on foregoing the slides and playing in the splash park area and playing tag in the lazy river that flowed around the park instead.

I, in the meantime, was on Noah.  My main goal was to move him from location to location, trying to minimize the number of people who couldn't keep their hands off of him!  He handled it really well, but I couldn't count the number of times he was literally being picked up and having his arms grabbed by the nationals who were fascinated by this active little blond-haired foreigner.  It was a great picture of how cultural the concept of standing in line is, and how it is so subtly taught to each generation.  I listened as one grandmother told her toddler that there was a line for one of the kiddie slides, and they needed to wait.  She proceeded to wedge her grandchild as close to the front and then maneuver them past the other little kids whenever a window of opportunity showed itself.  Sure enough, her toddler was able to go down the slide much sooner than the other kids who had been standing there without such an assertive adult to help out.  I kept thinking how subtle a message had been sent to that little one as they listened to the grandmother's definition of "wait in line" and then experienced her expertise in getting around the others who had already been there longer.  Makes sense why there is a country of 1.3 billion people, none of whom seem to have the same definition as us who are Westerners!

I'm guessing that many of you who are living Stateside have experienced this to some degree first-hand.  You've probably had someone with an Asian face step in front of you to get on an elevator, push in front in line, or violate some other North American cultural norm in a way that caused you offense.  It's seeing how culture works from the inside out that has helped create some sense of understanding on my part; it has given me a patience (not all days!) that allows me to see others' actions as not being intentionally rude, but as simply part of how you survive in a place like China.  If you don't participate in the standard "line philosophy" that prevails, you literally will never get your turn in the bathroom stall, your lunch order placed at McDonalds, your groceries paid for, etc.

So while I understand at a cognitive level this cultural difference, and most days can even have patience with what would otherwise be extremely frustrating, this is not always the case!  I'm not a person prone to anxiety, but I must admit that I was feeling as close to a panic attack as I've even been while at the waterpark.  By the time we left that afternoon, I was relieved to be away from the crowds, the noise, the kids urinating all around the sides of the pool.  I took a few Tylenol to get over my headache and thought I was good to go.  However, the next morning, I was coming back from a bike ride and was getting on the elevator when a neighbor got on at the same time.  She did the usual--pushed on behind me, crowding into my "personal space" and rushing ahead to push the button to her floor before I could get to mine.  Usually, this wouldn't phase me, but this time I could feel the irritation rising.  It was a good "temperature check" for me to realize that my cultural stress level was higher than I'd realized, and it was a great day to lay low!  I took the kids with a few friends to the international school library (only speaking English there!) and made western food (and dessert!) for dinner that night.  By the next day, I had realigned enough to be ready to head out and face the world--hopefully with an attitude that was honoring to the Lord and loving toward those around me!

One other humorous cultural adventure this week was when our ayi brought her dog to our house for the day.  She knew that the kids are nuts about dogs, so she had mentioned that she would bring hers sometime.  We agreed, but didn't determine any specifics at the time.  So we were somewhat surprised when ayi showed up with a very small poodle-like (ie, ugly) dog with a muzzle on it's snout!  To sum it up, by the end of the day the dog had bitten the kids twice, had peed on the carpet once, and wouldn't leave our ayi's side without whining or barking.  And then the really funny part was the miscommunication when our ayi was getting ready to leave.  She used a verb that has multiple meanings--it generally means "put".  So I misunderstood what she was saying, thinking she was saying that she was going to put the dog on her bike, when really she was saying she was going to put (or leave) the dog at our house--overnight!  Maybe for good?  We're still not sure on that part....But after I'd agreed and then she started giving me all kinds of extra information, such as that the dog wakes up at 5:30 or 6am and needs to go out to the bathroom, etc., I realized what she was planning on doing, and quickly cleared up the misunderstanding, telling her that we were not allowed to have dogs at our apartment at our landlord's request.  I think it was okay to refuse to keep the dog, and Kevin and I were much relieved that we didn't have to put up with the thing in our apartment any longer than we did!

My other good laugh this week was the advice that Eli and I have been given.  He has started jogging with me more regularly in the mornings, and it's been both fun and cute to see how far he can go!  He's really impressed me by being able to jog a good 2 miles with me before being ready to stop and find a store that sells some Gatorade (hard to find here, but can be done!).  So after we'd gone running together this week, we had just walked to find Gatorade, and had settled on popsicles instead.  We decided to sit on the steps of our porch and enjoy them there, as the rest of the family was still asleep inside.  While we were sitting there, some of the neighbors came by and informed us that we had made several mistakes.  The first was that we had just exercised, and therefore should NOT be eating (or drinking) anything cold.  (This one I responded to by explaining that our stomachs and bodies were used to it, so we were okay.)  The second mistake was that we were sitting, and this we should also not be doing if we'd exercised.  I explained that we had already cooled down for awhile while we were on our Gatorade search.  The neighbors weren't happy with this one, but let me off the hook without too much more scolding!

And somehow, with all of these cultural differences, we're not just surviving here, but we're really thriving and thankful for the relationships that we've been blessed with.  Last night we celebrated Kevin's 37th birthday.  I had him pick who he wanted to invite to our family's dinner celebration.  They were all our best Chinese friends!  I realized how sweet it is to have these friends who are more like family to us here, who help us navigate and understand the vast cultural divide, who encourage and spur us on in the midst of feeling like strangers so often, who make us appreciate all the positive aspects of Chinese culture instead of just focusing on the negative.  We are truly blessed!

In closing, one cute Noah-ism from this week.  When I was reading to him before nap time, he snuggled close and I teased as I snuggled him back, "Where did you come from?"  He paused for a minute, obviously thinking, then said, "From 'merica!"  He might be more Chinese than American, but he at least is aware of his roots! :)