Our Trip

Day 1

LOTS of travel!  We left our apartment at 1pm, drove the 50 min to the airport (such a blessing to be able to leave from Tianjin rather than drive the 3 hours to Beijing!), then began the long flight west.  Our flight was scheduled to be 6 hours, including a one-hour layover in a city we’d never heard of (which ended up being in Inner Mongolia; there was as much snow on the ground around the airport as you’d imagine in a place called “Inner Mongolia”!).  However, due to “bad weather” in Urumqi, the city we were trying to eventually arrive in, we had to circle the airport for a little over an hour before landing and walking through the snow to the shuttle that would eventually land us on dry ground in the middle of a COLD dessert.  It was 10:45pm by the time we got our luggage, 11:30 by the time the taxi driver got us to the hotel, and midnight before kids were in bed.  It was a long day, but besides the extra hour of flying due to the snow and fog and the arguing with the taxi driver for most of the drive to the hotel because of how many people we had (he thought we should pay double since we had so many people, in spite of our insisting that this was only ONE taxi that we were in, not two requiring double gas and double drivers), we arrived no worse for the wear. 

Day 2

The kids slept in!  But in spite of the late hour of them (and Kevin and I) awakening, it was still dark outside at 9:30am when we finally opened up our hotel room curtains.  We were shocked!  We’d heard that the daylight hours were much fewer here, but we didn’t know just how extreme it was.  We got dressed and headed out to explore the city; but I should add that the “getting dressed” process was not nearly as simple as I make it sound!  We had to bundle up in a way that we’ve never done before.  I donned my best friend’s borrowed furry long underwear pants.  That’s right—furry long underwear.  And let me tell you, it is  a beautiful thing!  If there’s one thing Chinese people know, it’s how to layer your long underwear in the cold.  The kids all have ski bibs and face masks (picture what you saw when there was the SARs outbreak, only with cute-sy designs like duck bills and floral prints to dress them up a bit), along with countless scarves, gloves, boots, and hats.  The process requires all hands on deck, and the kids were rewarded for their patience in the process by getting a mint to take for the road. 

We trekked out into the snow, found a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and ate brunch (it was 10:30am).  The time here is a tricky thing.  There is Beijing time and local time, which the minority people groups all follow that is 2 hours earlier than Beijing time.  So we thought it was 10:30am, but it was probably 8:30am to most of the people around us.   I still can’t wrap my mind around this time distinction.  In just our 2 days here I’ve seen how it affects so many areas of life.  Every time you schedule something, you have to specify BJ time or local time.  And if you are meeting with someone from 11-2pm (like we did today), you don’t know if you should plan on eating lunch with them or not.  If you’re like us, then 11-2 means lunch time, but if you’re on local time, your kids have just awakened and you think it is 10-12 noon, so not necessarily time to eat a meal!  Talk about confusing!

We ate a meal at KFC and then took off walking to explore some of the city.  We intentionally found a hotel in a part of time that is known to be a melting pot of the different people groups and cultures that are represented here in this one city.  What we saw made us feel that we were in a different country.  We passed so many people on the slippery roads (every sidewalk, unfortunately, was a road rather than just a place for pedestrians to walk) and they looked so different from our Han friends that make up the majority of the people in Tianjin (and China, for that matter).  The people, the languages, the way they were dressed, it was all foreign-feeling.  There were quite a few who did look like “typical” Chinese, but just as many or more who had a Middle Eastern or Turkish look.  There were even some who looked almost Russian in their dress and facial features. 

 

We asked several people how to get to a local market we’d heard about, and had a heck of a time getting there.  At one point, we were told to cross the street.  But you don’t do this by walking through the intersection, but rather by going underground at an entrance that looked like a subway entrance.  Once you are underground, the paths become a labyrinth of rows of vendors of all types of retail merchandise.  It was amazing, like an underground shopping mall with kind of an eerie feeling and a way of leaving you totally disoriented as to which way you are trying to go.  We emerged at one point, certain we’d made it “across the street”, only to find ourselves at another doorway that was literally 20 yards from the one we’d entered 10 minutes before, and still on the same side of the street!  We laughed and had another go of it, this time successfully emerging at the desired location, whooping and hollering in joy with the kids at our small success!

We made it to the market, cold and with whining kids after the 30-minute walk in the cold.  We managed to explore for a brief time, finding a new treasured Spiderman stocking hat for Noah.  After that we decided to go on a hunt for a place to eat lunch.  What we found upon discovering a row of restaurants shocked me in a way I was not expecting.  On the side of  one of the restaurants, we saw them pulling apart the carcass of a freshly slaughtered animal—I think it was a goat or sheep.  The Chinese word for the two animals is the same, so it’s hard to distinguish between the two, and this one was so long-haired that it was not a variety of either that I was familiar with.  But the way the 2 men were pulling the thing apart and separating the different parts—I’ll spare you the details.  But it was fascinating and disgusting all at the same time.  And the kids were totally intrigued, with Karis being pretty grossed out by it.  We were still able to find a restaurant (not that one!) and managed to get the kids to eat food that they were NOT excited about before catching a cab back to the hotel and imposing a mandatory rest time on everyone (we were all at the fall-apart stage at this point).  Overall, we were struck by the vast differences we felt and experienced between our city and this one we were in.  Even communicating is more difficult, with the accents being so thick when people around us did speak Mandarin.

After our rest time, we had fun playing at the hotel indoor pool, although it was quite cold, and enjoyed a dinner at the hotel restaurant.  We finished the evening up with a movie night and an early bedtime, kids spread out on the small amount of floor space in their sleeping bags.  (Chinese hotels usually have one king sized bed or two smaller beds, which are smaller than American-style double beds.)

Day 3

The kids slept in again.  It was either 9:00am or 7:00am, depending on whose clock you are going by!  Kevin found a convenience store nearby to get some bread and yogurt for breakfast, and then we began the bundling up process to go outside and play in the snow.  The kids stayed warm for over an hour (can’t say the same for myself, as I was merely overseeing the activity rather than taking part in much of it myself) building a snow fort in the enormous drifts of snow that were in the huge public courtyard across the street from our hotel.  We had many passersby stopping to admire their work; some to fuss at us for allowing some of the snow to spill off the pile onto the cleanly-shoveled paths and others to marvel that we had 4 kids so close in age and none of them were twins.  We ran inside to change some clothes (Eli’s shirt sleeves that were exposed had actually frozen as they had gotten wet in the snow and then frozen in the sub-zero temperatures) and warm up for about 15 minutes before we had a time set to meet with some new friends here in town.

The friends were actually friends of friends who we had been emailing with for the past several weeks.  When we first met several of them face-to-face, it ended up that two of them were friends who I knew while in college!  Talk about a small world; who would think we needed to go to far western China to connect 12 years after last having seen one another!  We spent the afternoon meeting with others who have lived here for quite some time, asking questions about life here in Urumqi as an ex-pat.  It was incredibly helpful and the kids had a ball getting to go to one of the family’s homes and play with their kids (and their toys)!  We were all a little ready to get out of the hotel for an afternoon and have a change of scenery that was indoors and provided heating.  Another benefit to meeting with these new friends was getting some names of places that were helpful—like a pizza place close enough to go get dinner and a Mexican restaurant that we plan on going to tomorrow that is a little distance away, but in an area of town we were hoping to explore while here. 

 

Day 4

Our final full day to explore the city of Urumqi was COLD!  I couldn’t get on-line while we were there to check the temperatures, but based on how it felt while outside, it was definitely our coldest day of the trip.  We started off the morning with the older 3 kids really wanting to go outside to continue building their snow fort.  Kevin graciously offered to take them out while Noah and I stayed inside to read and color (Noah’s choice!  He was much more content than the other kids to NOT spend any more time in the cold than he needed to.)  Kevin lasted a full hour in the cold with the kids in the courtyard with the older 3 before they came in to warm up briefly before we headed out to the Texas Café for lunch.  We arrived only to discover that the restaurant didn’t open for another hour and a half (it was on local time, rather than the BJ time we expected), so we had some time to kill. 

We’ve found one of the more difficult elements to living in China is that there just are not that many places you can go and “kill some time” comfortably.  In Dallas, you have your pick of malls with indoor play areas, fun restaurants with kid-friendly atmospheres, even coffee shops all over that you can nurse a warm drink and have a comfortable seat for as long as you’d like.  Not so in China.  Pretty much everywhere you go is crowded with people, difficult to find a seat, tight quarters if you do get to sit, usually pretty dirty, and generally just hard to come by.  This was the case in Urumqi, too.  So we walked around outside as long as we could trying to find some venue that could fit 6 foreigners, some with more energy than just a sitting-still location would accommodate.  We came up empty-handed, but finally got so cold we bustled through a door to a second-floor fast food-type restaurant that had enough chairs for all of us.  We were hoping for hot chocolate to aid in our thawing-out process, but had to settle for ice cream when we discovered that all of the hot water, and therefore any hot drinks, in the restaurant was not working.  The kids miraculously stayed entertained by each of them coloring on 2 pieces of paper that I pulled from a small pad I had in my purse, sharing a pencil Hudson had found outside in the snow during our trek , and making paper airplanes with their papers when they’d finished their artwork.  The had a mini-competition with the airplanes to see who could hit the target on the wall, then we headed back out in the cold to head back to the restaurant where we knew good ole’ Tex Mex food was awaiting; not totally warmed up, but at least with the kids having non-growling stomachs due to the pre-lunch ice cream treat!

After a fun lunch at this restaurant owned and run by Americans, we walked back to the hotel.  The kids begged to go back out in the snow again, but Kevin and I decided we needed to warm up some, so we convinced them to return to the swimming pool instead.  Can’t say that it was much warmer there, so after an hour of some shivering and blue lips we went back to the hotel room.  One of the things that interested me in the pool was how the adults there were doing laps.  Rather than staying in one lane (that was marked, the same as you see them marked on the bottom of pools in the US), each of the swimmers was swimming in a circle around the entire circumference of the pool.  It was really quite amusing, except that this left the kids very little area to play where they were not in the way of the lap-swimmers.  (If the kids played in the center of the pool, it was too deep for them to reach; so not ideal for Hud or Noah.)  At first I was a little anxious about them being in the way of the swimmers, but finally decided that I should relax and let the swimmers figure out a better plan of taking up less of the pool area if they were worried about the kids (which they didn’t seem to be!). 

Kevin braved the cold one more time with them to head back out and complete the finishing touches of their snow fort, knowing it was their last chance to do so.  Then we all took off for a dinner of hot pot at a nearby restaurant we’d discovered while out and about.  The kids had a ball getting to pick out their own dinner then cook it in their own pot in front of them on the table.  It was all going well, until Hudson’s pet mini-octopus that he was eating/playing with was dropped.  When he reached out quickly to try to grab it and put it in the pot again (it was dead, so there really was not concern about it getting off the table and away from him), he ended up touching the pot with his arm and got a small, but very painful burn on his forearm.  He recovered quickly and his main concern again became his octopus.

The other picture of Eli is him with lychee fruit, which Karis loves to eat and Eli loves the challenge of getting open!  They make a good team…

Day 5

Another day of travel!  We made it back home, this time without any extra circling in the plane, PTL.  We had a much earlier flight, so we had an early morning and no problems on the journey.  We thought we were giving ourselves a large cushion of time to get to the gate at the airport, but ended up having a lot more steps at the airport due to them having incredibly high standards for security.  When we arrived in Tianjin at 3pm, it was soooooo nice to be able to walk out to our car in the parking lot and drive ourselves back to our “big” house, as Noah kept referring to it (as compared to the small hotel room we’d all been sharing).  We didn’t realize how much that one difference of not having to wait in a long taxi line and haggle over how many people we could fit, how much we were willing to pay, etc., would make a difference in removing the stress of that final leg.  We arrived home, thankful for our home and the warmer temperatures (all the way up to 30 degrees Fahrenheit!). 

Overall, our trip to Urumqi was incredibly helpful.  We really enjoyed the people we met there and seeing the city.  We decided that while we were not particularly looking for Antarctic-like climate to move to, we could survive there if we are supposed to.  We were encouraged by the work we saw being done and blessed by those who are laboring there.  But no “answers” at this point for our family, as far as a firm direction to try to make the move there ourselves.  It will, however, be at the front of our minds as we go into this next year, with the plan to continue to be open to making such a huge transition and willing to go should the doors open to do so.

Christmas Celebration

We had an intentionally low-key Christmas celebration this year.  On Christmas Eve, we had a small group of our closest friends come over for an early dinner.  I had to chuckle as I was standing in the kitchen, preparing to put the food on the table at about 5:30, only to learn that one of our Chinese friends was coming late.  REALLY late!  I had invited the group to come at about 4pm, mainly since several had small kids and we wanted them to have time to play before our 5:30 dinner time.  I only discovered that one of the girls had to work until 6pm at that moment when dinner was hot and ready to be set out; not quite sure how she’d forgotten to mention it to me, but at least one other friend who was there was aware of her scheduling conflicts. 

So then the “die to self and my own cultural norms” got some practice, as our mutual friend (who is also Chinese) suggested that she text our friend coming late to ask her if we could start eating without her.  In my mind, when you come more than 2 hours late to a dinner party, the thought of the other 8 adults there waiting on you to arrive to start eating is pretty audacious.  But what I have learned and seen many times here is that in the Chinese culture, your guests are treated with such honor that this is the norm—to wait as long as necessary, regardless of how hot the food is when it is finally put out on the table!  However, if the late-comer gives verbal (or written) permission to go ahead and eat without them, then it is okay to start the meal. 

My late-coming friend did give the blessing to begin the meal and showed up as we were finishing up our first helping of pork tenderloin, twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, cinnamon apple jello salad, and corn casserole.  We had left plenty for her, and all was well with our evening of celebrating.  After 3 ½  years of being here, I wonder when I’ll get to the point that I don’t bristle at all over the slight cultural rubs.  Some days I feel like I’ve made such progress, and others I feel like I still have such a long way to go!

Christmas day we kept as “family day only”—and it was a blessing to have down time with just the Joseph 6!  I must confess to feeling some twinges of home sickness between Christmas Eve and Christmas day, but being able to see the kids delight and wonder at the gifts and the time to just be still and play together was sweet.  Noah was in utter disbelief that Christmas day had actually arrived; I think he asked me about 6 times if it was really okay for him to open his first present before he began.  He’d been hoping for that day to arrive for countless weeks, after every time he awakened from a nap or saw something new under the tree.  I think Christmas had kind of become that day that just never arrives in his mind!

That evening, we had another great cultural “oops!”  moment.  Kevin has a group of friends he meets with regularly who had invited our whole family to attend a special Christmas event.  We showed up at the restaurant at 6:40 to parade across the whole stage to get to our “special, foreigner” seats.  (The performance evidently started at 6:30—and started on time, which is NOT typical Chinese-style!).  As soon as we sat down, thinking we were there for dinner, a woman Kevin knows leaned over and said, “Chi wan le ma?”  (which means, “Have you finished eating?”).  Kevin answered a quick,  “Chi wan le, chi wan le.”  (This means, “We’ve finished eating.”)  But we hadn’t!  We actually hadn’t even started dinner!  (If you’re worried about Kevin developing a habit of lying, don’t fret about it too much.  It’s actually the most commonly asked question here in China and acts as the main form of greeting.  Rather than saying, “How are you?” to anyone you see, you ask them if they’ve eaten.  So you’re not really looking for a genuine answer, but trying to express concern over their well-being.  And the polite answer, unless you’re showing up to someone’s home in order to eat dinner with them, is to assure them that you have eaten, whether you have recently or not.)

When I looked at Kevin with raised eyebrows after the woman turned around, he sheepishly laughed and said he’d caught that the meeting was at 6:30 at a restaurant, and guessed he’d kind of assumed that dinner was on the agenda! 

We made it through a full two hours of the kids listening to the Message of the season being shared in different ways (all in Chinese) and several songs and theatrical performances.  They did amazing!  I was so proud of how well that stayed still and tried to focus on what was going on.  At one point, Kevin snuck out and found some food (not hard to do since it was a restaurant) and brought it back in for us to discreetly snack on.  We now have learned a new vocabulary word—bu dao hui –which means a performance or celebration that does NOT necessarily include dinner!

Big Scare

I love my kids!  It's amazing how the gifts that we take most for granted are made clear to us in light of (potential) tragedy.  2 nights ago, I ran into the kids bedroom after hearing a loud thud to find Karis kind of crumpled up and moaning on the floor.  This is NOT where she had gone to sleep 4 hours before, but rather she should have been in her top bunk (which is a tall upper bunk, China-style, I might add).  We still have no idea what happened or how she made the fall (she doesn't remember, and she was on the floor on the opposite end of her bed from the ladder, so it doesn't seem like she was trying to climb down), but we know that she landed on her head, due to the large goose egg that we discovered minutes later when we were holding her and trying to get her coherent enough to open her eyes and respond to Kevin's and my questions.  Within about 5 minutes, which felt like an absolute eternity, she was able to answer when I asked her what hurt and had her start naming off some body parts (checking for her ability to think and respond--which is never easy when you're awakened at 3 am from the middle of a deep sleep, I might add!).  Once I knew we weren't dealing with any broken bones, I moved her into our bedroom (Eli and Hud were awakened, but Noah was still sleeping through the ordeal), and called my sister (an ER nurse).  We spent the rest of the night with Karis in bed between Kevin and me, awakening her every 30 minutes or so to check her pupils to see if they were dilating properly and to make sure she could think rationally.  This was not a problem for me, as my adrenaline was flowing so much that I might have gotten one 20-min stretch of sleep in the rest of the night.

Thankfully, she seems to be doing well today, 36 hours after the fall.  She probably has a minor concussion, due to the symptoms (headache and sensitivity to light) she has shown over the last day. But she was DYING to go back to school today after staying home yesterday with Kevin to rest, so we've put her on a strict low-activity restriction and are allowing her to go for at least the first 2 hours this morning so she can get in on the last day of school's Christmas party with her class.  It's amazing how much something like this makes you realize how precious your family is to you, and how thankful we are for His hand of protection over our lives in all the little details--even sleeping!  We're continuing to pray that Karis doesn't show any other signs of major head trauma, as I know that head injuries can be "sneaky" in symptoms showing up days after the trauma that indicate more going on than can be observed at a surface level.  But for now, we're hoping and trusting that our little girl is already recovering (no Tylenol requested this morning) and is, as I type, enjoying cupcakes and Chinese popcorn (probably kiwi flavored!) with her friends!

I'm hoping that this feeling of appreciation continues into our two-week long break from school.  I'll be brutally honest and admit that some weekends feel overwhelming when all 4 kids are home all day, especially when the weather is too cold to go outside for long (our high today is 30 degrees Fahrenheit and quite windy with a good amount of ice still on the ground from our snow last week), the dishes that need washing seem never-ending, and my stress and work-load for school is high.  I'm hoping that these next two weeks will be sweet family time, and I know that some planning in advance (things to do, crafts and projects to put the kids on, etc.) goes a long way in reducing the tension that can mount so quickly! 

One of my personal challenges is genuinely LOVING having others into our home, and yet having a hard time finding the balance of what is too much in the area of hostessing.  So I've already had 3 families from school (one Chinese, one American, and one Korean) who have kids the same ages as ours request that their kids come over to play at some point during the break (in one case, the mom with the kids).  I guess we're kind of known for enjoying opening our doors to others and our family is large enough that we're a large group to host, so it's not unreasonable for others to directly make this request (also known as inviting themselves over!).  I'm also learning how strong a sub-culture individual cities, states, and regions in the US each have.  Some days I feel like I have more similarities culturally with our Chinese friends than I do with others who are from, say, a small town in the mid-west.  I think the difference lies in the fact that I am prepared for and even expecting vast cultural differences between myself and our friends who have a different nationality; but living internationally means that the ex-pat community is from all over the US, so I'm constantly navigating the cultural differences between the different regions my American friends who are living here in China are from.  Some just invite themselves over, some just stop by on a whim, some seem "cold" in how and what they communicate (coming from a true Southern girl--Texas born and raised where you don't pass by without offering a warm "Howdy!" to anyone on the street).  So my goal this break is to be intentional in how we use our time, knowing that a lot of these families are reaching out and are great opportunities to love on them and hopefully show them the true meaning of the holiday season, but also not to over-extend myself or my family in a way that makes our family atmosphere overly stressful and "heavy" feeling.  We'll see how I do!
 
We had a marvelous time playing in the recent snow that we had.  It was truly beautiful as the bright white of the crystals covered over the usually drab-gray of the concrete that covers most of the city.  The kids made countless snowmen and numerous snowballs were throw.  Unfortunately, much of that snow has turned to ice, and the kids still think it fun to toss chunks at one another!  We've had to be strict on the no-throwing-at-heads policy in order to avoid any major injuries.  When the wind wasn't blowing too much, we were able to play outside for quite some time before hands were too cold and wet and we escaped to the heated indoors to enjoy hot chocolate and marshmellows.  

The large group picture is of us celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas (I combined the two this year!) with some of our Chinese friends.  We had a fun evening of eating together and playing all sorts of games.  You can tell how worn out Noah was at the end!


Off to check on Karis in her class and make sure she's not fading, due to her energy level no doubt being lower than normal.  What's probably more likely is seeing her bee-bopping around on a sugar high!  Blessings and Christmas wishes to you all!

Yet Another Layer

Before we moved to China, one of the cross-cultural training courses we went through described digging into the heart of a culture as being very similar to going through the layers of an onion until you finally hit the core.  While we still have QUITE a ways to go until we've "arrived" at understanding the heart of the Chinese culture, it's really a fun journey to see our family continue to get to a deeper level of understanding.  And what I've found is that we're not just growing in our understanding of Chinese culture, but also of Korean, as of late!

This past week we took the kids with us and spent the day at an orphanage between Tianjin and Beijing, chaperoning a group of 30 high school students who are part of the school's service club.  (The photo is of Eli and Noah entertaining themselves of the bus for 2 hours, much of the time playing a Korean counting game with their hands.)  I've got to tell you, I was shocked at what we experienced.  When a few of the students asked Kevin and me if we could be the chaperones for the trip during one of the days off for Thanksgiving break, I was excited about the opportunity, but also cautioned by a few friends at the school not to be overly optimistic about it being quality time with the students.  How wrong they were!  Our family had a truly delightful time, both on the 2 hour bus ride each way to the orphanage and back, and then again while we were there with both the students and the orphans.  The question that has continued to plague me:  Why in the world did these 30 students (the vast majority of whom were boys) spend one of their few days off to go and play with sick children at an orphanage?  I actually questioned one of the leaders of the students to the point of probably being rude!  "You mean, you don't get any required service hours for being here?"  "This is not required to be a part of the club?"  "Your mom didn't make you come?"  And as I watched, there was very little of the typical high school flirtation going on between the few girls and the boys who were there.  No food offered.  No financial incentive or opportunity to win an iPad as a door prize.  In fact, the kids actually had to chip in to pay for the bus that took them there!  I hate to sound so incredibly cynical, but I still am having a hard time believing that these 30 high school students were going to the orphanage just to serve.

At one point, Kevin walked into one of the rooms upstairs in one of the houses at the facility to find one of our "problem" students in class (Kevin and I both teach the sophomores, so we have a lot of the same students) standing next to bed of a small child who was literally too weak to be out of bed.  Our student was just kneeling there holding his hand.  Kevin came back to find that same student in the same place quite some time later; just holding the child's hand and talking to him some.  I'm realizing how far I have to go in understanding so much of what goes on around me (in this case, as in most situations involving our school, this is all pertaining to the Korean culture, as about 80% of the school is made up of Korean students).  But I'm liking what I see!

One awkward moment this past week of engaging with other cultures happened during our annual 3rd grade mom's luncheon.  I had helped coordinate a luncheon for all the moms of 3rd graders, and these meetings are always a hoot because of the crazy cultural  no-no's that seem inevitable.  The debacle from the 1st grade mom's one last month was the restaurant; the 3 American moms who were there were literally the only ones who touched their food!  The other 27, comprised of Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Singaporean, and maybe even some more I've missed, all hardly touched their food!  Of course, we were eating at one of the few Western restaurants in town.  Oops!  Any way, while at this week's luncheon, the Korean mom I was talking to was trying to be kind by giving me complements.  But the complements continued, and continued, and were so direct that my squirming was turning into blushing with nothing I could do about it!  She was going from complementing me on how pretty I was (and she was going through all my facial features--my "big" nose, my "big" eyes, my pretty skin, etc.) to then going on about how handsome Kevin was--how tall he was, how big his nose was, etc.  It was truly hilarious!  I kept reminding myself, "She's really offering me complements.  I shouldn't be so completely uncomfortable!  And remember, no crawling under the table...."  And the even funnier part is that so few of the moms speak English, that we all usually resort to speaking Chinese in order to communicate, even though most of them don't speak that as their native language!  Those American moms who haven't studied the language as much usually just have to settle for smiling and nodding; hmm, that sounds kind of nice in comparison to my reception of undue praise I received at this last mom's engagement....I might need to adopt that approach myself at the next mom's luncheon.

A few of our funny Chinese cultural moments over the past few weeks--Kevin was driving a new friend of his home one evening, a guy who played volleyball here and now is coaching.  The guys was really excited to share with Kevin about a young woman he'd been set up with the previous weekend by a mutual Western friend of ours.  The young woman works at the international school, but the guy didn't know her English name, so he was trying to describe her to Kevin so he would know who she was.  His description went something like this (in Chinese, of course):  "She isn't a teacher, but she works with the elementary kids.  She's kind of fat."  Kevin had to hold back his chuckle as he wanted to respond, "And this is how you describe a girl that you like?!"  A little different than a typical American guy's description of his latest crush.  And the differences continue.  It's been fun to see this couple.  They literally just met within the last 3 weeks, but because they were both so highly esteemed by the mutual friend who introduced them, whom they also both think so highly of, they literally jumped right in to talking about marriage in their first week of knowing each other.  I don't think this is totally abnormal here, especially for those who are like-minded.  If someone says, "You should really get to know this person," they take it really seriously.  So many of our friends have met their spouse through set-ups by friends or family members who they trust.  It's not like they are arranged marriages, but it's the closest thing I've ever seen or experienced.

Another challenging moment for me was during our Thanksgiving celebration with a group of our Chinese friends.  On Thanksgiving day, we had 29 western friends over to celebrate and feast with (including kids).  It was a packed house, and we had about every square foot of our living room filled with tables and chairs.  The picture of Karis and Noah on the stairs is of them in their Thanksgiving costumes.  Karis helped us all become either Pilgrims or Indians (the boys costumes coming complete with life-sized throwing spears--a selling point for getting Hud and Noah involved in the action).  She even went to the trouble to sew (a new hobby of both hers and Eli's) an apron and bonnet for me--the lone Pilgrim of the group.  The following week, we celebrated with our Chinese friends, and it was neat again to see how much we've changed in our thinking over the past 3 years. I was not surprised at all when the one other person who was helping bring food (this time it was a group of 14 adults and only my 4 kids) called the morning-of to let me know she would be there an hour and a half late.  It also wasn't a surprise when another one of the girls called the morning-of to say she was bringing her husband and her daughter--and that her husband wanted to cook for us--in my kitchen--right before I was trying to serve dinner (now, solo) to 18 people.  I told Kevin that this one was going to stretch me.  And it did!  The husband showed up with his partially prepared jiaozi (dumplings) in hand, took over my kitchen for 45 minutes right before I was trying to serve dinner, and scraped the crud out of my non-stick skillet in the process of making only enough jiaozi for each person to sample one (for those non-jiaozi eaters, one is NOT enough to even count as one dish on the table).  I was cracking up (thankfully, rather than crying), and Kevin consoled me by assuring me that I could buy a new skillet the next week to replace the one our new friend ruined by using the metal spatula.  Hmmm, guess we can always use an excuse to make a new kitchen purchase, right?

The other photos are of the boys getting their first "real" hair cuts!  Kevin took them to a place here in our apartment community, as I've been too busy to take the time to groom my children properly.  He said they did incredibly well, and wondered if maybe they were a little scared by the whole thing because of just how still they sat during the whole process.  Hair cuts here are so cheap (the boys were each the equivalent of about $4) that Kevin thinks this should be our "new normal" during this busy season of life.

So the big thing we've been pondering over the last few months is also connected to our going "deeper" into the onion.  We have been asking if we are where we are supposed to be, or if we should be pursuing a change.  We are LOVING where we are and what we are doing, but we also want to be sensitive to his leading and the fact that there are a lot of needs all around us.  So we've been asking big questions, and don't have a lot of answers at this point!  But what I can say is that we are on a fun journey of exploring possibilities--specifically of making a move to another city out west.  This would be a bigger move geographically than a move from Washington DC to LA, and a HUGE difference in culture, language, weather, etc.  I looked on-line today to find that the high temp today is 16 degrees Fahrenheit and next week it drops to a high of 2, and a low of -16!  That's right--negative 16 degrees Fahrenheit!  And we're going there for a "vacation"!  We leave the day after Christmas and will spend 4 days there exploring the city, largely to see just if we can survive in that kind of weather and in the environment, which is known to be incredibly oppressive and vastly different to our home here in Tianjin.  I'm sure I'll have more info and pictures in the near future.