Captain Underpants and Mr. Glue Head

After a crazy week of Ashley getting a killer head cold and thankfully everyone else avoiding it, the fun has continued in the Joseph household. We borrowed the nickname coined by the Baker family for Hudson--Captain Underpants, as he underwent the transition of moving from diapers to big boy undies. After a day and a half and several failed attempts, we now have an almost three year old (birthday this weekend!) who is well on the way! He has been so proud, and has announced every success to any friend who may happen to be over visiting us or joining us for dinner. Our Chinese friends think it is hysterical, and most proclaim that it is about time, as Chinese kids are potty-trained (sort-of!) at a REALLY young age here. (You may have seen pictures we've put up before of what we call "poo poo pants"--the pants Chinese toddlers wear that have a split in the crotch so that the kids can do their business any time, any place.) Not exactly the most sanitary or hygienic of customs, but you gotta give them credit for not wasting time and money on diapers for long!

On Tuesday afternoon, Kevin was watching the kids on one of our outside apartment play areas when Eli took a tumble and hit his head on a metal bar. He ended up with a gash on the back of his head and blood all over--which totally freaked him and every other person within sight out. We were able to get him home and cleaned up, and after consulting a friend who is a nurse here, decided to use the Dermabond glue that we had in our first aid stash rather than taking him in for stitches. (We were given an extra tube of the glue after a similar experience in Dallas right before we moved over here last summer.) We were so thankful to be able to avoid the drama of trying to get him in for stitches, and it looks like the wound is healing nicely. Eli is quite proud to show off his glue head to anyone willing to check it out!

The other pictures besides Hud showing off his new look are of Noah trying to get in on the wii action with Kevin and the big kids, and Karis trying to keep Noah out of the washing machine.

The feet under the bed photo is of Hudson during his naptime one day this week. Kevin went in to the room to wake him up to find only his feet protruding out from under the bunk beds! When asked why he decided to nap under the bed rather than on top, he simply responded with a shrug, "I just wanted to." Gotta love the creativity (and flexibility!) of little ones!

Changing Gears

We finally have spring weather here! We are sooooooo thankful to actually even be able to pull out short-sleeved shirts to wear as of yesterday. It's amazing how much brighter the world appears when the sun is out and the skies are a little bit clear! (On a weather sidenote: an interesting fact about our city, Tianjin, is that if you can see the sun, the temperature outside is most likely a lot colder than you think it will be. This is because really only when the wind is blowing strongly enough to clear the pollution can you see the sun, rather than a hazy ball in the sky. And if the wind is blowing that strongly, it is most likely making the temperature significantly colder. So we're learning to adjust our expectations! Sunshine for us is normally now accompanied by colder weather and more layers of clothing!!)

We've had a fun-filled weekend. On Saturday morning we all went to trash mountain for me to run in a 5K race benefitting the international school's summer trips. I jogged (for the second time in our 7 months of being here!) while Kevin watched the kids play at the playground there at the park. Everyone had a blast, and the gorgeous weather was enough to lift even the dreariest of spirits! After the race and play time, we three wheeled over to the large grocery store to make some purchases for the party that we were hosting that night for all of our Chinese teachers from this semester and last and their significant others (boyfriends, husbands, or fiances). We had 9 of them come, and the party was a huge success (at least, we think it was!). We even remembered to have slippers for everyone this time--so hopefully our social ills are slightly decreasing with the longer time we are here! The wii was a hit once again, as were the kids--our two main selling points in the Joseph house as far as entertaining Chinese friends goes!!

You might note something missing from our normal Saturday schedule--the older kids activities. We've decided, after much deliberation, to pull them out of swimming and kung fu after 2 months of participating in them at a local Chinese kindergarten (kind of more like an activity center). Last weekend was the main deciding factor. I took Karis and Eli, as Kevin really wanted me to sit in on Eli's kung fu class. He had already decided that it was not a good idea to keep him in the class any longer, as none of our goals were being met (the kids meeting and making Chinese friends, having extra physical activity to expend energy, and better learning the language). The Chinese culture for classes like this makes the classes really intense in the structure, allowing virtually no time for interaction amongst the kids and NO time for anything close to fun. They mean business--even for a 4 and 5 year old class! In addition to this, we realize now that kung fu is just a bad fit for Eli. He gets his flexibility from his parents (which means he has NONE naturally), and considering that nearly 2/3 of the class time is spent stretching (and it is an hour and twenty minutes), it ends up being just plain painful for him. The instructor takes turns coming around to each of the kids and pushing on their legs as much as he can until they are (literally) crying our or have tears in their eyes. Let me tell you, as a mom, this is NOT fun to watch!

So this past week, I was really proud to see Eli holding his breath whenever the instructor came to him to push on his stretching. At one point I walked over to the bar where his leg was to put my arm around him and reassure him, and he was literally choking on holding in his sobs! This is after he had slipped at least twice as he is the shortest one in his class (and the youngest, I think) and his leg doesn't reach as high as the others. Each time he slipped, I was shocked to hear the other parents (and not just one or two, mind you) erupt into laughter as he clamored off of the floor! I tried not to take it personally, and continued to note throughout the remainder of the class a similar reaction to any of the other kids' responses to pain or frustration. Whenever a kids in the class started crying our hollered in pain as the instructor "worked" with him, all the parents would start laughing and often cheering for the child! I kept thinking back to my psychology classes in college and how we studied laughter as a very normal and natural response to stress--but I really didn't get the feeling that this was the case in this situation. As Kevin and I have talked through it this week, we think (but still aren't sure!), that it is simply a Chinese cultural thing in which the parents are thinking that this is kind of a "rite of passage" that they too endured. The kids are going through the same kind of intense training that they too went through at this age, and managed to survive, and this is just the way things are done. I do know that within the educational system here, the main form of punishment is based on their value of honor and shame. So when a kid misbehaves in the classroom, the way they are most often disciplined is by publicly shaming them by yelling at them or mocking them in front of their peers. Talk about a little different than our western thought of doing all of that in private behind somewhat closed doors!

So while Eli is enduring his pain-stretching in one class, I keep looking over my shoulder at Karis in the swimming pool through the glass (where I can see her class in progress). She had a sub that day, which I wasn't too thrilled about. She normally loves her sweet young female teacher, who even speaks a few words of English, but this week she had a young guy in a speedo! Enough to kind of creep me out! So during Eli's class a dad walks in and asks me if I have a daughter in the swimming class. I immediately run out of the kung fu class and make it to the pool to find Karis sitting on the side absolutely sobbing. By the time she can catch her breath to answer my question of what is the matter, she sobs that "This has been the worst day of my life!" Bottom line was that she was totally overwhelmed by the language barrier. She needed to go to the bathroom and tried telling her teacher, but he couldn't understand her. She was totally frustrated and cold, and she just wanted to go home. And I couldn't blame her!

As we left class early, I had a great talk with both Karis and Eli. They had seen mommy in tears the day before over frustration over life and the many transitions we're facing here, so when I said that I understood how they felt, they really believed me! We all agreed that sometimes we just needed a good cry to get it out in the open and deal with the fact that things are hard some days! I then was able to explain that although there would be times that their dad and I asked them to continue doing something even though it was hard, this was not one of them. After Kevin and I had a long talk about it, we gave them the option to be done with their classes; and they agreed that was probably best!

So there's the long story. I'm so glad that we endured the two months of trial--and really don't think that the kids are scarred at all from the experience. But we learned a ton, and unfortunately, have even more questions now as to how much we push to get our kids (and ourselves) to acculturate to a culture that is sooooo vastly different from our own. We so want to deeply connect with the Chinese people--which means becoming Chinese in many ways--and yet see the differences (and apparent weaknesses) that exist in some of these cultural gaps. I think it's good that we don't have to figure it all out in a day!

On a lighter note, we did have a fun conversation at the lunch table this week. Ayi was in the other room talking to Noah (obviously in Chinese), and Hud asked Kevin, "Daddy, who's that talkin'?" Kevin said, "That's Ayi, talking to Noah!" Hud started laughing and replied, "Oh! I thought it was a Chinese person!" Kevin and I looked at each other quizzically and said, "It is a Chinese person--it's Ayi." When Hudson protested that Ayi was NOT Chinese and we asked him "what" she was then, he said, "She's just a girl!" As we asked the three older kids more questions about who was Chinese and who was not, it was apparent that they were thoroughly confused! The could identify our Chinese teachers as definitely being Chinese, but that is about where the accurate observations ended. They couldn't identify any physical differences (except that Eli said most of them were short), and anyone they knew who could speak any Mandarin was labeled as being at least "a little" Chinese! Kevin and I were cracking up. Who knows how jacked up our kids will be in their thinking when it's all said and done. . . :)

A Slow Plod

The photo taken last week when Kevin's parents were in town is a far cry from our experience on the three-wheeler yesterday. On our way home from the older kids' home school co-op meeting, our battery on the three-wheeler began to sputter--indicating that there wasn't much "juice" left. It started off fully charged, but alas, I'm finding that the battery just never has as much power as I would like for it to! So long story short, I found myself still about two miles from our apartment with two kids in the back of a three-wheeler with a dead battery. I tried pedaling the thing home, but as my quads were on fire after about 100m I realized that we'd never make it home that way. So I decided to get off and walk. I found that if I could keep the handle turned enough then I would still get a little burst of energy from the pretty-much dead battery, giving me a little aid as I attempted to push the heavy three-wheeler through the middle of rush hour traffic on the road. Besides being physically exhausting, it was just plain embarrassing. We're already at celebrity status here because of having four little kids whose blond hair and blue eyes stand out amongst our neighbors, but I realized last week just how well-known we are. (When we were at the zoo with Kevin's parents, I had a group of young ladies come up to visit with me and Noah, who was exploring some on a rarely-found patch of real grass! After visiting with them for a few minutes, I told them that Noah was my youngest of four kids. Their faces immediately all lit up with recognition as they asked if we lived at Yang Guang Yi Bai (our apartment community). They totally knew who we were once they put me together as the mother of the four Joseph kids! I was totally taken aback by the whole thing!) Anyway, I kept having thoughts of now being known as the crazy foreigner with tons of kids who can't even keep her three-wheeler battery charged up enough to ride at every crowded bus stop we passed.
To top it all off, I had to deal with maneuvering the three-wheeler through the road traffic that is not exactly "friendly". I was having to compete with every car that came by for a position on the road, and experienced little to no help from anyone seeing my desperate situation and wanting to aid me as I attempted to navigate the rough road conditions and large number of other vehicles. I was so fed up with it all. I wanted to scream. I wanted to shout at the other drivers. I thought about flipping a few of them off as I was cut off multiple times and had to stop my forward motion to avoid a collision. (I know, great confession for someone in our line of work.) And all the while, Karis and Eli were singing praise songs in the back end of the three-wheeler. For the entire hour and 10 minutes it took us to get home. Oh, how I (eventually!) praised Him for the conviction that so often comes from the mouth of babes!
When we finally arrived safely home and I had a thorough melt-down on Kevin's shoulder, K was reminded of quite a few things. This week I have been revisiting II Cor. 12--that all so famous passage about Paul and the thorn in his flesh. I have been marveling at his attitude--that not merely of accepting the challenges and trials that He brought him, but that he actually "delights" in those challenges. As I looked again at Paul's secret to contentment that he talks about in Phil 4, it is obvious that there is no gap between his theology (that He is good and working all things together for good) and his reality (that he truly believes Him and lives it out so that others can see). So this is the goal. To narrow that gap by faith so that my theology and my reality are aligned. So that on days when I have had it and just want to go "home" where things are comfortable, the environment familiar and normal, and people I love are all around, I can still stand firm with joy here where I am planted--without running to pack my bags or check airline ticket prices. And to do so not just with acceptance, but with "delight" as Paul does. It occurred to me while I was pushing the three-wheeler and alternating between bumping my head on the overhang and my shin on the pedal that I may not physically be able to make it home pushing my "mini van". I was reminded of my weaknesses, my shortcomings; and in that reminder I see again that I have the choice to rejoice in those weaknesses knowing that somehow He is glorified and that that is the exact place where He can truly shine as I allow Him to do so in full submission. Ugh! To narrow that gap so that this reality can become real and can be used to shine brightly!
So this morning, Kevin has given me the gift of time to sneak away upstairs and hide for some quiet time while he manages the crew downstairs. As I've had great time in the Word, I've been challenged again by Paul and his attitude of complete surrender to the Spirit's working, and have reflected on one of my bigger life lessons. My sophomore year in high school was an extremely challenging one for me. I was incredibly lonely. My group of friends from junior high became the "popular crowd" in high school, and chose (for the most part) to walk a little bit on the wild side. In choosing NOT to do so, I ended up isolating my self and basically staying home every weekend night. I can still remember the knot in my stomach as I was one of the only ones I knew literally not invited to a single school dance all year (or the next, for that matter!). For a while, I think I threw a pretty good pity party for myself, but then I had a wake up call. In the late winter, I remember finding out about a friend who had been abused when she was younger. It rocked my world, and showed me how many people out there who I interacted with every day had a lot bigger problems than being lonely and not invited to school dances. I can vividly remember feeling that He was challenging me to make it my mission in my school to deliberately seek out those who were hurting on lonely and pursue them with kindness. I have no doubts that my attempts were feeble and could have done much more to encourage others, but my senior year I was given the award of "Most Congenial" by the student body and felt that it was His way of blessing me for my efforts to please Him by loving others. So now I find myself in a similar situation 12 years later--without the knot in my stomach of loneliness, but still struggling in many ways nonetheless--and I realize that I have a similar challenge. There are SO many people around us here--both ex-pats who are missing home and nationals who don't even know what they are missing--who are in need. And I can choose to wallow in my own dead battery or get over it and be intentional about reaching out in an attempt to bless those around me. So I lay this before you--oh blog reader--as a way of accountability. The choice is obviously clear as to the "greater path", and my resolved ambition to do it well, with joy and laughter on the way! Bring on those weaknesses--I'm ready to delight as I slowly plod forward on this journey He's directed!!

Sad Goodbye

This morning I saw G-Ma and G-Pa out the door along with Kevin, Karis, and Eli. A driver came to pick them up to drive them into Beijing where they did sight-seeing stuff for the day then went to check in at the hotel (with an indoor swimming pool!) before meeting a friend for dinner. I stayed behind with the younger two boys in an attempt to catch up on rest and try to get prepared for the rest of this week (a big test in school and teaching the kids' homeschool co-op class this Friday). We had such a sweet visit with Kevin's parents here--they truly went above and beyond as far as helping out (doing a TON of dishes!), loving on the kids, and being great sports in the midst of all kinds of "China day" circumstances (lack of hot water for shower, small bed to sleep on at night, LOTS of Chinese food, etc.) Hudson, Noah and I spent a good part of the day talking about how much we missed G-Ma and G-Pa already! I must confess, the goodbyes we find ourselves continually saying just don't get any easier over time! G-Ma and G-Pa will be dearly missed until our next reunion.

I'm posting this blog mainly for the fun pictures! The one of Noah is him on Easter wearing the bunny ears that Hudson put on him. The one of Eli and Hud in their hats are from our trip to the Great Wall where each kid got to pick out their favorite toy because of being such troupers during our long day of travel. Karis picked out the orange parasol, that I'm pretty sure is going to absolutely fall apart on us at any moment because of how cheaply it was made! We found it hilarious that the boys picked the hats that they did (which Eli describes as a policeman's hat and Hudson describes as a cowboy hat)!

Where to Begin?!

I'm so behind! We've had such a full last week and a half that the time has just absolutely gotten away from me! Last Friday, the family took off in a van with a hired driver to pick up Kevin's parents (G-Ma and G-Pa to the kids) from the airport in Beijing. We've been having a great time ever since then staying busy showing them all of our favorite people and places here in China. I'll try to do a quick re-cap of the last week and a half along with some of our favorite photos!

Last weekend we celebrated Easter with some of our good friends here in Tianjin. After church, we went to one of the family's houses and shared a terrific lunch, enjoyed an Easter Egg hunt for the kids, and got to visit until the kids were dead on their feet by 5pm! Tom and Sandi loved meeting our new friends, and were really encouraged to see how well taken-care of we are here by precious people who have been here a lot longer than we have! We even had weather warm enough to shed the long underwear--something for which we were all thankful!

During the week, Kevin and I kept our normal school schedule with our classes and the kids' homeschool and Home School Co-Op with only slight variation. We took off on Monday (which was a national holiday--Tomb Sweeping Day, so no class) to go to Ancient Culture Street. Tom and Sandi were able to see a ton of Chinese-ee things and purchase a bunch of souvenirs to bring back to Florida with them. They got a kick out of seeing first-hand the rock star status of our kids anytime we are out in public with all of them!

On Wednesday we had the privilege of getting to celebrate Tom's birthday. We got a cake from a local bakery (I thought it was plain white cake inside, but discovered on cutting into it that it was actually fruity! We were all just thankful that it wasn't red bean paste, a popular filling for all sorts of pasteries here in China!). Kevin took Tom to the local blind massage parlor for a birthday massage that Tom couldn't stop raving about--at least a $150 massage, he was sure (which only cost about $5)!

Thursday we all went to the Tianjin zoo--one of the kids absolute favorite places. Tom and Sandi got an up-close view of how China differs from the US in so many ways! The favorite part of it for all of us was seeing how much the kids enjoyed running around, invigorated by the warm weather and space to move about as they chose! We had our baseball friend Lief come over and join us in going out to one of our favorite restaurant's for dinner that night after Kevin and Tom went to the baseball field that afternoon.

On Friday, Kevin took his parents back to the massage parlor so his mom could get in on the fun! All three came back completely relaxed after getting foot massages. The relaxation technique worked so well on Tom and Sandi that they were even willing to watch all the kids that night for Kevin and me to have a date night! We went with some friends to a really fun Chinese restaurant and then out to get gelatto, and the kids had a great time bonding over a movie night with G-Ma and G-Pa. While we were out, Tom felt a tremor in the apartment and was certain that they had survived an earthquake (I was a little bit skeptical!). I was proven wrong, however, the next day when we found out that there had indeed been an earthquake that was a 4.0 several hours away from Tianjin. That's what I get for second-guessing my father-in-law! The funny thing is that we discovered our yang tai (which is our porch-like area off of our kitchen where we store a lot of our food) door was closed and locked--and we have no key for it! Our best guess is that the earthquake caused the locking mechanism to jiggle and engage, with the result being that we had to climb through the window by the kitchen table in order to get anything that we needed. Kevin was able this morning to go after it for awhile with some tools and eventually got the door to open. We decided that he has turned very MacGyvor-eske during our time here in China!

Saturday, we again hired a driver and loaded up his van to make the day's trek to the Great Wall of China. We hit some traffic on the way, so it took us about 4 hours to get there, but the weather was beautiful and we had a great time hiking around once we arrived and eating lunch at a SubWay. (The kind of random picture is the result of a four-hour drive with no bathrooms to speak of on the way!) We once again bargained for some more fun souvenirs and then hit the road to come home. We arrived home to find that our gas for our stovetop was not working, so we scrounged around and had left overs rather than the spaghetti meal I had planned! Gotta love being flexible (and thankful for in-laws who are as well!).

We have a friend coming over tonight to babysit for the kids for Kevin and I to go out to dinner with Tom and Sandi. We were planning on going out for Chinese, but ended up going out for Chinese with friends this afternoon after church, so we're opting for our local favorite--TGI Friday's.

Whew. I think my nap today was well-deserved!