For Nana!

I just got off the phone with my mom (known as Nana to the kids), and during our conversation Noah was in the process of kind of taking his first steps! Karis was helping him balance and then letting him go so he could stand on his own. He started doing this a lot more this past weekend, and today after he had his balance for 30 seconds or so, he took one step forward, regained his balance again, and then fell down after clapping to congratulate himself! I took the picture during the process! You can tell how pleased he is with himself by the grin going from ear to ear!

The other pics are from our "adventure" yesterday. After we finished our homeschool time, I took the crew outside to one of the neighboring apartment buildings in our community that the kids have officially termed our "Secret Hideout" (which I guess is not so much of a secret anymore!). They normally go there on special trips with Kevin (who discovered the location a little while back), but today they let me come along as Kevin was gone all day at class, a lunch meeting, and then the baseball field. We had a ton rummaging around the dirt heaps, looking for treasures (which they all got to put in their plastic bags that we brought along just for that reason) and avoiding the piles of poop! (There's not a lot of places of dogs to relieve themselves around here, unfortunately). We had fun playing, but I did make sure that they had a VERY thorough disinfecting at bath time!!

When Kevin came home in the late afternoon, he relieved me of kid duty so I could go and play! The international school is off this week for their spring break, so my teacher friend Holly and I have been planning on going to a foot massage place. It is the same location that houses the blind masseuses that Kevin goes to to have his back worked on. For the equivalent of $4.50 I was able to enjoy a full hour of my feet being massaged, having fun conversation with my sweet friend (in English) and getting some good language practice in at the same time (in Chinese)!

A Lot of Cucumbers

Kevin and I both could not stop cracking up at the dinner table tonight after his timely observation. He noted as we were finishing up dinner, "That's a lot of cucumbers on my plate." This was a class day for me, so our ayi fixed dinner for us. She made three dishes--one being tomatoes (which only Noah likes) and the other two that had a striking resemblance to one another. Our plates each had rice and then a TON of cucumbers (or cucumber-like veggies). Kevin was certain that he'd already eaten 600 cucumbers, but there were still at least 100 left on his plate. (In her defense, one cucumber dish did have cashews while the other had a few pieces of pork at about a 15 to 1 ratio in favor of the cucumbers.) So as the kids tried figuring out what was making Kevin and me laugh so hard for such a long time, Kevin and I looked across the table and had one of those "Where the heck are we?" kind of moments. Maybe you just had to be there, but it really is humorous to me that if you asked me six months ago, I would have affirmed my staunch dislike for cucumbers. Now, here I am, half a world away, eating an entire plateful of them! Again I ask, "Where the heck am I?!"

Another cute note to, no doubt, thoroughly freak out the grandparents. I had a great conversation with Eli on Friday while he was riding on the back of the three-wheeler. He asked me a very serious question that he was obviously seriously pondering: "Mom, who should I marry--Ella (Karis' best friend from TX) or Ayi?" I was stumped and a little shocked, and told him that I wasn't sure exactly how to answer that one. After further reflection, I probably should have explained to him that since Ayi was already in her mid-forties, happily married with a 19 year old daughter, (oh, and doesn't speak any English, nor him any Chinese beyond hello and goodbye), Ella would probably be the best choice (amongst other reasons, as well, of course!). [Forgot to mention that in our conversation earlier today, Amy!] So she may cook us up a lot of cucumbers, but she's obviously still worked her way deep into our hearts!

More Rice than Texas

This week we've had a fun time laughing about some of the more noticeable differences between our new home and our old. I thought I'd highlight a few of the biggest ones.

1. Chicken bone teether! As shown in the photo, my "mom experience" has opened up to new horizons as my 9 month old is now teething on chicken leg bones! I had a friend here in China suggest that the leg bones from our favorite rotisserie chickens make great teethers, as well as actually having a little bit of nutritional value for a little one. So I never thought I'd pass one off to one of my kids, but as healthy baby foods and small snack items to keep babies busy while waiting their meal in their high chair are hard to come by here, I've resorted to sharing our chicken bones. And I must say, Noah loves it!
2. "There is more rice here than in Texas," said my very observant five year old at the dinner table this week! Karis pointed out this undeniable fact while we were eating a meal prepared by our ayi (who makes dinner for us three afternoons a week while I am away at class), all of which are accompanied with the ever-present white rice. Thankfully, rice is one of Karis' favorites, and the boys have even changed their tastes enough over the last 6 months of being here that they eat it without much complaint most evenings. (I do still cook western-style the rest of the week, as we all still love the "comfort foods" of the south to which we are so accustomed!) Overall, our eating habbits here are quite healthy, as ready-made desserts are hard to come by and fruits and veggies are plentiful, relatively inexpensive, and incredibly fresh, being brought in daily from the countryside and containing no preservatives. We've certainly all gotten a lot less picky about foods that we previously said we wouldn't have liked, as 3 of our dinners each week are pretty much whatever our ayi makes!
3. Planning in advance? Kevin continues to work out with the baseball players, and in spite of the fact that March is almost over and "baseball season" should technically be in full swing, the Chinese league still doesn't even know when it will begin! We think that a lot of this is due to the fact that so much of those in powerful positions here are quite corrupt and power-hungry. Control is maintained by keeping those beneath you in the dark with information so they are completely dependent on those in authority. (Not SURE about this reasoning, but it seems to be commonly believed, accepted, and the norm here to work this way.) So Kevin continues to work out, prepare, and wait with the other men on the team whose whole lives are kept in limbo, as literally all their future is wrapped up in the game (or lack there of!). Kevin found out this week that supposedly the Tianjin team has fired all of their coaching staff and has hired a new Japanese coach. We're hoping this doesn't work against Kevin, who has up til this point enjoyed an open door to working with the team at his leisure. We're hoping that the new coach is as open and receptive to Kevin's presence amongst the team!
4. Lots of advice. Would you believe that even our TV screen gives it? We realize how different the American culture is about giving advice--that you pretty much keep your opinions to yourself when it comes to telling others what they "should" do unless asked--when we compare this culture to that of the States. Whether it's being out in public and people fussing at me for the kids not being dressed warmly enough, or people telling me that the oranges I'm carrying home are not good ones to buy because they aren't fresh enough, advice is plentiful from the Chinese people. Rather than telling you that you don't know what you are doing or you have made a poor decision, here, giving unsolicited advice truly is a way of communicating care and concern for another. Which some days, honestly, is a little difficult for our western minds to buy into; and yet really is the motivation behind the counsel! So we've discovered that if our TV is on for more than two hours, a little red message comes on in the upper right-hand corner that says (now in English, thanks to a friend who knew how to change the language) "Take a rest"! Whenever we have friends over, they crack up that even our TV is giving us advice, and counsel that falls so in line with Chinese thinking about the importance of rest in order to maintain proper balance in life.

So that sums up some of the ones we've enjoyed laughing about this week. Gotta love the cross-cultural transitions!

Warming Up!

Spring is finally here--at least kind of! We had warm enough weather for Karis to finally be able to wear her new hand-me-down tights and skirt to church this morning without me worrying about her freezing her little legs off. And we even went outside to play badminton in the courtyard after dinner without having to wear gloves or hats! We're really hoping that spring weather is truly around the corner, especially since our heat is officially turned off now throughout the city. Now, that being said, I did check the weather forecast and noted the possibility of snow later this week. We're obviously hoping against that, but have our wool socks still out just in case!

After a traumatic Friday for me, our weekend has turned out to be really fun. Friday morning I was running out the door to class. I wait until the last possible moment to leave because Friday is the one day that we leave all 4 kids with our ayi for about half an hour while Kevin is on his way home from class and I am traveling to the school to start. We've done this the past 3 weeks now, and it has gone well each time, but I still don't want to push my luck so I try not to leave her alone with all my wild ones for too long a period of time! So I carried my bike from the stairwell in the hall where we store it down one flight of stairs to the elevator--which was apparently not working. After waiting for about 5 minutes, I determined I should just walk my bike down the stairs instead. Except that we live on the 10th floor. So that's a long walk! After making it down to the 9th floor with my backpack on and trying not to spill my coffee in my travel mug, I realized that I was NOT going to make it down in one piece, so I returned my bike to it's original place of rest. By this time, I was running late, so I scooted out of the building as quickly as I could to run and catch a taxi. I was disappointed, as I had been looking forward to the 3.5 mile ride to school for both the exercise and the freedom that I feel in being able to maneuver as I choose through the Tianjin traffic.

My disappointment only grew as I got in the taxi with a very grumpy taxi driver. I'm not sure what exactly I did to set her off, but the woman was just NOT happy with me at all! To make matters worse, there was a good amount of traffic, so the trip was not a quick one. When we got to the school, the taxi meter read 13.1 kuai. I paid the woman, all too ready to make a quick exit, got my change back and was about to get out of the cab when the meter clicked up to the next level--now reading 14.8 kuai. Now, I'd already paid and gotten my change, but the woman still insisted that I pay her the extra two kuai! I was so flustered and rattled from running late and the uncomfortable ride there that I actually paid her. I still can't believe it! (I know, two kuai is like the equivalent of 25 cents, but it's the principle of the whole thing!) I got to class so upset and discouraged that I couldn't communicate--which is not a good way to begin a two-hour long intense one-on-one class time. My teacher, whom I love dearly, launched into our class time with a series of questions that I was supposed to answer using proper Mandarin grammatical sentence structure. I couldn't even begin to process the information, and instead sat there, willing myself not to cry, fearing that my sweet teacher would take it personally if I did! My attempts in vain, I ended up bursting into tears, blubbering that I couldn't say anything in Chinese, not even to argue with the cab driver that I was not going to pay the extra two kaui, but that it wasn't my teacher's fault, but I was just a slow learner who was never going to be able to talk to anyone in this country, etc. etc. My teacher handled me great--running to the bathroom to get me some tissue. Once I regained my composure enough (which took awhile, considering that reading tones with your voice quivering just doesn't work!), we were able to back up, slow down, and have a really good class time. She assured me that I was not the first foreigner she'd taught who had revealed the effects of cross-cultural stress in her classroom!

So Saturday was much more enjoyable. In the morning, we had several friends come over (8 adults and 8 kids total) to have a family game time. We played the Wii, different board games, and ate lunch together . It was a sweet time of fellowship, and the kids loved playing with friends as much as the adults enjoyed having good talk time. In the evening, my teacher from last semester and this semester (who happen to be roommates!) came over with their boyfriends for dinner and a baking lesson. The girls have been trying to learn some western-style baking, and have had little luck, so we've been planning on making a cake together! The photo shows the outcome of our endeavors--and our labor was much enjoyed by all who partook (although our Chinese friends definitely agreed that the icing was too much, and would be better if it was less rich!). We had a great time once again getting a positive perspective on how blessed we are here with such sweet friendships!

(The picture of my teacher with Noah documents her second time ever to hold a baby! We are continually amazed how few of our Chinese friends here have held babies before--and they are all soooo excited to do so!)

New Day

I am learning to be more and more thankful for cyclical change--for seasons, even for the start of a new day! After feeling pretty homesick yesterday, I was super thankful for a totally refreshing day today. After getting a short classtime in with the older kids, our friend (known to the kids as Ms. Barbara) showed up at our front door with her arms full of goodies. She had a basket filled with fun stuff for her to do with the kids for the morning. Barbara is a dear friend here who LOVES kids, and has taken a special interest in investing in the lives of our 4 little ones--for which we are thankful beyond words! She has three kids of her own (two out of college and one finishing up at the international school here in town), and is one of the most amazing ladies ever! She brought over crafts, games, snacks, hard boiled eggs with dye, books to read about Easter, and even stuffed animals for each of the kids to hold while they were doing their games and reading. After decorating the eggs, they went on an Easter egg hunt outside to find their treasures. The kids had a BALL! I just kept thinking--"Is this for real? Who DOES this kind of thing?" I suppose the answer is a true friend who sees a need (in this case, both on the part of my kiddos, who are deeply missing their grandparents, and me, who can sometimes use a little break from the mommy routine!) and desires to help meet that need. I am still reeling from the love expressed in such a gracious act of service! Barbara stayed all morning with the kids--playing non-stop through lunch time until Hud had to go down for his afternoon nap.

While she was here with the kids, I took off on a mission that I've had for quite some time now--to find a "real" teapot. One of Kevin's real estate friends suggested that it was time for me to serve tea properly, Chinese style, during his last visit over tea while here at our house with Kevin! What this means is loose-leaf tea rather than tea in a bag, which I have to be honest, has really intimidated me up until this point. There's something about all those "floaties" in tea that just kind of freaks me out. But I decided that serving loose-leaf tea would be a major mile-marker for me--one that states that I am on the road to truly arriving at the destination of Chinese cultural adaptation. So here I am--tea pot and loose-leaf tea in hand, ready for entertaining our Chinese teachers this weekend with a proper serving of tea!

Getting the tea pot was an experience in and of itself (of course!). There is a tea shop here in our apartment community that we discovered on one of our early survey exploratory trips around our community. The store owner was incredibly kind, not to mention verbose, in spite of the fact that I'm pretty sure she figured out that I was only understanding a very small portion of the words streaming forth from her lips! I kept nodding and smiling, picking up a conjunction here and a preposition there, praying that I wouldn't hear too many sentences that ended with a "ma"--which is the Chinese way of asking a question that requires an answer! In spite of the fact that I didn't understand a tenth of the detailed lesson in proper tea service that the store owner gave, I walked out with tea and tea pot in hand, and good practice at least in hearing a lot of Mandarin early on in the day!

I came home from class this afternoon to find a happy home. The older kids had their "tanks" totally filled after such a fun day with Ms. Barbara (and some M&M's that they found on their Easter egg hunt; oh, they each only found two, but it's amazing how little it takes to make them happy!) and Noah had gotten some time in with our ayi, who is one of his most favorite people! (She is shown in the photo with him from when he was keeping her company while she folded laundry.) I continue to sing praises that even in the midst of feeling the frustration of lots of challenges and some circumstances we would change if we could, we are blessed beyond measure in so many ways!

Baseball Lives On

Kevin had a fun opportunity on Friday morning to go to the International School and speak at the elementary school chapel service. He shared with the students the story of his major league debut, and decided to spice it up a bit by including the three oldest kids. Karis, Eli, and Hudson participated by dressing in their Cardinals uniforms and acting out some of the story of Kevin's road to fame and fortune :) (ha ha!!) But seriously, they did a great job of being cute "props" on stage while Noah and I cheered them on (in our matching Cardinals garb, of course) from the audience. Kevin's message was really great (and you can be sure that I'm not biased at all!) and the kids and teachers all responded positively to his talk about what your foundation should be built upon.

When we got back home, we asked our ayi to take a photo of the whole family in our matching outfits. She was obviously not really used to taking pictures, and I thought it was so cute that she kept moving the camera or chopping the top of Kevin's head off with each photo she took! It was a great reminder that not all of the world lives like we do--taking for granted having the latest things like digital cameras at their disposal.

When I got home from the homeschool co-op with the older two kids, Kevin had just awakened Hud from his afternoon nap. When he went into the bedroom, he found Hud asleep on the floor in the mesh laundry basket (as seen in the photo!). We asked Hud what he was doing in there, and he very calmly explained that he thought maybe a monster was coming (which he doesn't so much fear in his pretend play, but rather looks forward to so that he has an excuse to fight it off) so he was hiding from it. After we reassured him that there were definitely no monsters in our apartment, we encouraged him to take his naps in his bed rather than the basket on the floor and he would be much more comfortable!

Supposedly the 6 month mark is when most people living overseas come out of the "honeymoon phase" and enter into a new phase. I'm not really sure what this phase should be called--maybe "reality sinks in" or "new host culture brings more tension than previously experienced", but whatever the term, we think we've arrived! It's funny how I'm noticing things that before I let slide--cultural differences, small frustrations, etc. I'm so thankful for the training we had before we left the States, because even just being aware of this new phase can help us fight through and do all we can to keep a positive outlook on things. But in spite of our efforts to be aware of what we are feeling and experiencing, to stay positive in our perspective, and to (above all!) walk by the Spirit rather than the flesh, I notice that I am still noticing the differences. So hopefully all this won't come across as too negative. I am just attempting to be honest with myself and you about the different transitional phases we are walking through!

So 3 biggies hit me this weekend as far as differences in our China lives and what we knew in the US:
1. Kids' Activities. The oldest two kids just started classes this weekend at a Chinese kindergarten on Saturday. Karis took swimming and Eli took Kung Fu. It really was adorable! Kevin stayed with Eli the whole time, helping translate a little bit, giving further instruction to our clueless four-year old, and taking notes so they could practice some of the maneuvers and terminology at home. We were concerned that Eli would be overwhelmed, but he really did great! There were 4 other boys in his class, and he was pretty much on par with all of them as far as ability (at least as far as knowing Kung Fu; maybe a little behind linguistically as the rest were native Chinese speakers!). Karis got to swim in an indoor heated pool, that wasn't quite as heated as she would have liked! (I found her after class standing under the hot water of the showers shivering, but still smiling!). She spent most of the class time hanging onto the side of the pool or else out of the water on her stomach. At first I was disappointed, thinking she wasn't going to get much out of the class. But the more I watched, I realized that the emphasis (which is very typical of the Chinese) was on the form and the skill. So she spent most of the class learning how to do a proper frog kick, and then had to put it into practice in the water for a lap or two. WAY different from her former swimming lessons with Ms. Rosie (whom we love!) who pretty much focused on the kids being able to get themselves through the water regardless of the method used! But at the same time, really good for our "go for it girl" who does everything full-speed ahead without naturally slowing down to focus on the details.
(The photos are of the kids on Saturday. Karis is wearing her new swimming cap, required by all who get in the pool (even Noah and his bald head!). And Eli is wearing his official Kung Fu uniform. We had to MAKE him take it off after class on Saturday evening to keep it from getting messed up for future use!)

While the older two kids were at their lessons, I took the littlest two boys swimming in the indoor kiddie pool with me. In once again, very typical Chinese fashion, I had an interesting time figuring out what to do when the man managing the pool time kept insisting that the water was too cold for Noah to be in more than twenty minutes. He really wanted me to get out with him, which would have been fine, except that I had paid for a full hour for him already! Call me cheap, but considering that I was pretty sure that he was totally fine with the water temp and was having a blast, I was determined not to leave that pool! Luckily we didn't come to blows, as I just politely smiled and assured him that I did indeed understand what he was saying (I was just choosing to ignore his insistent prodding!).

2. The Language. I spent a while in class on Friday with my teacher trying to figure out how to welcome someone when they come into my home. I know. I've been here 6 months now and I'm still trying to figure that one out! Ugh! But I'd just had a good talk with our ayi during which I apparently really convinced her that I am trying as hard as I can to learn the language. So she shared with Kevin that I should not keep greeting her with "Ni hao ma?" (which means "How are you?") every day she comes over. This greeting should rather be used when you haven't seen someone in awhile (rather than every other day like we see her). So my teacher tried to tell me that I should just say "lai le" (which basically means, "you're here"), with the proper response either being a grunt or a repeated "lai le". Okay, to this southern girl, that seems like the most cursory, flippant greeting of all time! I tried explaining to my teacher that there is no way that such a greeting could convey the warmth I wanted to express. My natural tendency is to gush with questions to try to show care and concern--"How are you?!", "How was your weekend?", "How is your family doing?", etc. So saying so little just seems so terse! So on Sunday, Kevin's friend Lief came over to our house to meet Kevin for them to go to Lief's English class together. When I saw Lief, I decided to try out my new "short" greeting, and dropped a "lai le" on him. Would you believe that he told Kevin after they left that that one single comment, and I quote, "warmed his heart"?" Who would have thought that a phrase that is so short and so seemingly meaningless could actually warm a heart!? I have so much to learn. . . (But you can count on me using more "lai le's" in future days!)

3. The Weather. I just did the math and realize that winter here really is 6 MONTHS LONG! Would you believe that it just snowed AGAIN yesterday? Yes, it is the second week of March, and there is still snow on the ground! I used to think that winter was not such a big deal, but to be honest, we are all starting to go a little stir crazy! I am so ready to be able to go outdoors without it taking 15 minutes to bundle everyone up only to stay outside for less time than that because someone is bound to have a cold nose or hands! Oh, and did I mention that the heat gets turned off in 7 days exactly?! Being as the high this week is in the 40's (we have one day that it is supposed to hit 50), I'm not sure what that is going to do to the inside temp come next week! I'm sure I'll let you know. Until then, the long underwear are not being stashed away in the suitcases under the beds. . .

Into Spring!

It's hard to believe that another week has already come and gone! This week was a fairly "normal" one for the Joseph household, still getting back into the routine of things with a new semester (I know it's March--can you tell we're on China's calendar rather than a typical US one!). The older two kids started back with their home school co-op group today, ringing in the spring semester with Geography Day in which they presented a (very!) short report on Australia. It was one of their first official group presentations, done in front of mainly older kids, and they managed to survive! I think next time they will be more motivated to prepare some in advance as both Karis and Eli were a little bit freaked out by the whole thing.

On our walk to taxi corner to get to the home school group meeting, we made a new friend--or should I say that Eli made a new friend? A Korean neighbor that we hadn't met before came alongside us and was evidently enamored with Eli! She insisted on holding his hand and walking with us the whole way (which was about a 5 or 10 minute walk!). When we got close to the taxi corner, she had him cross the street with her and wait outside a store while she ran in and got a favorite Chinese snack to hand off to him (these pieces of bread-like stuff with red bean paste inside). Eli handled it really well, got two "kind points" in the process (our reward system with the kids for when they are especially kind to Chinese people when we are out and about!), and shared the snack with Karis in the taxi (which wasn't too big a sacrifice considering neither of them really care for the snack!). I asked him if it scared him at all, and he said no. But then he continued to explain that it really only scares him when the Chinese people talk to him a lot when their teeth are "funny shaped"! I realized what he was saying--that when the Chinese people who talk to him get right in his face and they don't have good dental health (which is not abnormal here, as you only drink bottled water which doesn't have fluoride), that is when he gets more intimidated. I thought his comment about teeth was really cute, but also insightful to letting me know how to encourage him and help him feel more secure in dealing with our sweet Chinese friends and neighbors!

I've had a day of dealing with some seriously conflicting emotions. We've been rejoicing in the birth of a new cousin! My brother and his wife just had their first baby--little Luke. Everything went great and Jeff, Allison, and Luke all are doing fantastic. But I tell you what--nothing makes the miles more apparent and felt than having significant family events going on and being so many time zones apart. It's hard not to feel so far removed from our "former life" when we just want to be there and hold the newest family addition, rejoicing with those we love! I've just finished reading Linda Dillow's book Calm My Anxious Heart (a total winner, for anyone looking for a good book recommendation!) and she has a paraphrase in there of Psalm 23 from a friend that I think is worth typing out:
"The Lord is my peace. I shall not live in anxiety. He puts me under His wing of comfort and calms my spirit within me. He takes all my anxieties on Himself and helps me to focus on Him. Yes, though I walk thorough a time of grave uncertainties and fierce anxieties, I will not fret--for you are my peace. Your Word and Your presence calm me now. You hold my uncertainties in the palm of Your hand. You soothe my anxious mind--You smooth my wrinkled brow. Surely serenity and trust in You shall fill me all the days of my life. And I shall keep my mind stayed on You forever."

Tomorrow is a big day for both Karis and Eli. Karis starts swimming and Eli starts Kung Fu--both at a Chinese kindergarten. The kids are excited, in spite of the fact that they will be the only ones in their classes (including the teachers!) who speak English. Eli has informed us that once he figures out what the teacher is saying, he's going to teach mommy and daddy so that we too can learn some new words! Should be interesting. . . :)