Stark Contrast

First McDonalds burger in 6 months!

We've just returned from a 10-day trip to the east coast of China, and it certainly made the contrasts between east and west that much more apparent!  Probably the biggest shock to our systems was the open space in WeiHai, the coastal city we went to first.  The sidewalks were wide enough that I could have two kids (usually Noah and Hudson) both holding onto one of my hands while we walked.  And we didn't even have to haul off to one side for others to squeeze past!  The friends who we stayed with have two kids and they rode bikes regularly without fear of knocking over others.  Amazing!  It felt more like San Diego than anywhere else I've ever been in China.  And the buildings were not all stacked on top of each other, but instead there were sections of beach strategically placed in between the high rise hotels and hotels all along the bay, which stretched for miles.  It was just beautiful!  You could even walk on the beach without shoes on, not fearing the usual trash and glass debris that is typical of a Chinese beach.

Waiting for the driver with bikes in tow!

Is this really China???

Another huge difference was in the warmth of the people we encountered.  After spending the weekend in the coastal city we took an overnight train back to Tianjin, the city where we used to live.  We spent the week there visiting old friends, and I got more Mandarin practice in there in 4 days than I do in a month living where we do!  I think this is partly because so many of the people where we live speak one of the minority languages, but also there is a huge difference in the friendliness of the two locations.  Everywhere we went on the east people were wanting to engage with us, asking all kinds of questions about the kids, our work, how old I am to have 4 kids already, how much money we make--in other words, all the typical questions that are culturally appropriate in this country!  It took me several days to get used to the transition of being asked so many questions and not be so suspicious of why.  It made me realize just how closed off the people are where we are, something my mom also noticed during her visit her a few weeks ago.  There is a general level of suspicion toward outsiders, and foreigners in particular.  I think the assumption is that we could be spying for our home government, or trying to perpetuate some sort of thinking that could be harmful to the community.  That and the general feeling of oppression that many of the minority people groups out here feel lead to a general sense of distrust that you can feel just when you walk down the street.  I regularly jog around our apartment community in the mornings and there is a woman who I see out walking literally every time I am out.  I noticed her the second month we were here, and particularly noticed her harsh demeanor.  I've since made it my mission to get the woman to smile at me!  I make an idiot of myself trying to crane my head around to catch her eye as we pass, I blurt out louder than appropriate "zao shang hao" ("good morning") greetings, and smile with as much gusto as I can.  I finally won her over this past month--after 4 months of pursuing that smile!  (She has bad teeth, but I was so thrilled to come home and tell the rest of my family that I'd finally gotten her to respond that they too rejoiced over her bad teeth!)  All this to illustrate my point--it's hard to win them over out here!

Yes it is, as proven by the number of people photographing our kids as they play!

Bday cake for Eli on the beach w friends

Noah's new best friend, Bumpy.

Being away from our present city and situation also made some of our circumstances more obviously challenging.  As our dear friends from our former city peppered us with questions regarding our new life out west, we were really saddened to have as few positive things to report as we did.  We've seen the Father do amazing things, for sure; but the reality is that our normal at this point is really hard most days.  The contrast between what we had and what we currently have was so much more apparent by our trip.  So now the question is, is this just because we are still settling in and adjusting to what is still so unfamiliar?  Or is this just the new normal that we need to accept and learn how to embrace with joy?  I'll be honest.  Getting on that plane to return to the west was hard.  I even shed a few tears as I hugged dear friends good bye, friends who had loved and served me so well over the 4 days we were there, friends who I left feeling refreshed and encouraged by.  I fully anticipated having a rough first few days back in the desert, but have been incredibly surprised at how okay I've been!  I've had sweet time reading and reflecting on His goodness in spite of what feels so hard and so lonely so much of the time.  I've felt encouraged and honored that He allows us the privilege of following Him to a place that not many want to go, where the things we are without are felt.  (Part of my doing so okay might be the fact that I'm still flying high from my purchases while on the east coast!  I must confess hitting up the import store where I stocked up on mac and cheese, powdered sugar, and even 2 boxes of cereal.  We're living large!  Oh, and the kids got Pop Tarts, which are their new favorite food.  They even made a chart to make sure that no one took more than their allotted amount.  We also made it to the European sporting good store that has great quality stuff at really good prices, so the boys are now all wearing tennis shoes that don't have their socks poking through! And Eli got a new soccer ball, which is being used at the moment with the neighborhood kids.)

Before the race with Barb, our dear friend from TJ

Post-race selfie at the finish line!

So the main reason we went to the east coast to begin with was to participate in a sprint triathlon.  Kevin and I both competed this year and it was such a great experience!  We've recognized that our mental health is so much better when we're working out regularly and when we have measurable goals, which are hard to find living this type of life overseas.  So we loved the training part, but the race was maybe just as much fun.  Besides our nerves, the biggest challenge was the inclimate weather.  A thunderstorm started right when our race did, so as soon as we entered the water we were facing much bigger ocean waves than we would have.  The other frustration for me during the swim was the number of swimmers wearing floaties.  I know, "What?!"  They were competing in a triathlon but had these oval-shaped orange floaties attached to a belt by a string around their waist.  Besides the strings being an obstacle, the floaties also looked just like the buoys  that were used to mark the course.  So when you turn your head to quickly catch a breath and spot your course, it was so difficult to tell what was another one of the floaties and what was the buoy.  Talk about frustrating!  So my swim was not as fast as I thought it would be due to the crazy route that I'm sure was longer than it should have been as I chased floaties around the bay!  And then with the rain, the mountain course for the bike portion was treacherous.  The course is known to be the most difficult in China because of the hills and the sharp turns.  There were actually 27 accidents during our race, which I think is quite a lot for a tri, especially with the number of participants being as few as there were (not sure the total number, but there were about 30 in my heat [same age bracket and gender] and about 50 in Kevin's; there were our two heats and an additional 5 going at the same time).  While on the bike course I had several people pass me with blood streaming down from their elbows and knees, and one woman was taken to the hospital with quite a few broken bones from her fall!  So the wet and slippery roads made both Kevin and me a bit more cautious than I think we would have otherwise been, but thankfully we both were able to stay upright on our bikes for the entire race!  (This was my biggest fear--falling, most likely at the very end when I was dismounting my bike, because of wearing clip-in shoes that I wasn't really well-practiced in!)  And Kevin's back not only survived through the whole race, but actually feels better now than it has in months!  We think triathlons might be the answer to his back pain that he's managed all these years.  Who would have guessed it?!

Celebratory dinner at Papa John's

Overnight train ride (stacked 3 levels) to TJ

So our experience in the race was fantastic.  Neither Kevin nor I placed as high as we would have liked (what can I say, we're probably more competitive than we should be), but we both did well enough to feel good about our races and to know that we'd like to train for another.  We're certainly thankful for any sort of stress outlet that we can find, and this race in particular is coupled with the benefit of being in the same city as dear friends (Some of our best friends moved from Tianjin to the coastal city for work, so we got to stay with them while there.  It was such a blessing to our whole family!  Their home is about a one-minute walk across the street from the beach, and they took the kids on all sorts of fun adventures, like the aquarium, while Kevin and I were doing registration and other necessary grunt work for the race.  And being with them lifted our spirits in such a sweet way, providing lots of laughter and also heart-sharing moments.)

Kids at TIS, their old school (wearing new shoes!)

Also visited our favorite swimming lake

One other highlight of our time in Tianjin was connecting with old friends.  We got to spend part of a day at the international school where the kids went and Kevin and I taught.  This was one week into our time away from home, and I loved Noah's report to one of the teachers there when he asked Noah how he was doing.  Noah replied with the following:  "We just keep moving around.  We get on a train and then in a taxi and then on a plane...."  Ha.  Pretty well summarizes our life... :)  We also got to see our former Ayi, the woman who worked in our home for 5 years, and had a sweet time catching up with her.  We had dinner at our favorite restaurants with local friends and went (twice) to our favorite Tex Mex place, too.  My best buddy, Natalie, and I went for a pedicure, which should be counted as a highlight except that it turned into an hour and forty minutes of torture!  The ladies working there literally would not let us up from the chairs, and they spent that entire time scrubbing our feet.  No kidding.  The entire time.  We didn't even have them paint our toenails because we were so worn out and exhausted just watching them work.  Oh, and we each had two women working on us at the same time!  I can't even imagine how sore they were when they went home that night.  We think they scrubbed two shoe sizes off our feet in the process.  Don't think I'll go for another pedicure any time in the near future...

final goodbyes before heading to the airport

I'm sure I'll be putting out another post sometime soon.  This week is a big one here for us.  There is a celebration called Kurban that is a religious holiday celebrated by a lot of the minority peoples where we live.  I'll be honest--I'm a bit nervous.  The main day of the holiday is on Thursday, and on that day every household is supposed to sacrifice an animal, usually a sheep.  Of course we are living in high rise apartments in a city center, so there's not a lot of area open for slaughtering animals, so the courtyards end up being the main locale for the event.  Supposedly you can't really go out without seeing the process, which can be really gross and bloody.  I'm contemplating taking the kids to the open animal market tomorrow (Wednesday) where they sell many of the animals that are to be used as sacrifices, but not sure if we're up for it or not.  Security is really tight right now, so the streets are crowded with more armed police than normal and traffic seems to be moving at a snail's pace.  Will have to feel out what tomorrow brings and go from there, but certain to never be a dull moment!

Natalie still smiling 1 1/2 hours into getting scrubbed

Nana's 7th Visit to China

Nana, Hud, and Eli in the gladiator ring they built

I hate washing the guest sheets.  The problem I have is not the laundry--it's the evidence that the guest who has just inhabited our world for a short time has left!  That is the case this morning.  And I find myself in that emotional predicament of "Do I 'conceal don't feel' at this moment or sit down and have a good cry?"  Crazy as it sounds I feel like living away from friends and family and trying to acclimate to a new place and culture, this question comes up more than I'd like!  While I know it's important to grieve and take time to be sad when sad things happen, I also know that we walk a thin line here of emotional stability, and going down a little bit really can sink the whole ship.  So the question of how much to feel and when to compartmentalize is a very real one in our world!

playing baseball with local friends

swim time!

 Kevin and Eli got up at 4am to take my mom to the airport to get her on her flight--barely!  Her ticket had been changed, and the airline had failed to reissue the new tickets (both legs of the journey to get her from here in the desert all the way across China's east coast and then back to Dallas).  When Kevin called from the airport after half an hour of him trying to argue the way onto the flight, I was thankful that I was still at home (with three sleeping kids) and able to get a representative on the line who then could quickly reissue the tickets.  This was, of course, after Kevin and my mom had been sent to a different terminal in the airport, but they were able to literally race back and make it through security as her flight was finishing boarding.  And as far as we know, her bags also made it on the flight to arrive in Beijing in several hours!  I've found myself wandering around the apartment this morning, playing with the kitten more than usual, and torn between wanting to quickly wash the sheets and get them put away so I can somewhat compartmentalize the sadness of seeing my mom go and yet also wanting to leave them out as reminders of her sweet presence.

Nana with kids in the mountains

Eli's 10th bday celebration--a week early!

Not that there aren't enough reminders, even without leaving the sheets in a heap on the floor.  Although we only had her for 12 days, and several of those were spent with us both knocked out by a stomach bug that circulated to some degree through all of us, she made the most of every moment here (in her true "Go for it!" style).  She hiked mountains, averted her eyes past the butcher shops as lambs were being slaughtered, sewed a handbag with Karis on her new machine, watched all three Free Willy movies (that's right--betcha didn't know there were that many!), taught several neighborhood kids how to play baseball (kind of), visited the police station three times (all to get permission to stay in our apartment while here), took tons of photos (some of which she got scolded for, as people are really tight regarding photos and security out here), and had some hilarious cross-cultural moments.  Our favorite was this past Friday night.  Kevin and I went further than we usually do for a date night--a Mediterranean food restaurant we'd been told about that was the best meal I've had in the last 6 months!  While we were out, we left my mom and the kids at home with dinner and a movie.  One of my favorite neighbors, a much older woman who is kind of the matriarch of our whole building, knew my  mom was in town and showed up at the door just after dinner.  She started rattling away in Mandarin and Uyghur, neither of which my mom can speak at all (except for saying hello and thank you).  She left her walker in the door, kicked off her shoes, and walked in to sit down at the kitchen table with a bag full of about 3 dozen eggs (which my mom thought must be hard boiled, but actually were not!).  Karis was able to understand enough of the Chinese she spoke to know that she wanted to welcome my mom and wanted to cook for us; she was planning on waiting there at the table until Kevin and I returned!  My mom didn't want to be rude, so she kept smiling, sitting with the kind woman, with each of them taking turns patting one another on the arm and repeating the 3 words they both knew--lao lao (Chinese word for grandmother), Dallas, and Houston (where our neighbor's daughter and her family live).  This went on for awhile, with the kids' movie on hold, when Eli suggested that Karis be the spokesperson (as the bravest Chinese speaker of the bunch) and tell her that they were going to bed!  Pretty sneaky way to get back to the movie....But my mom agreed that this sweet woman waiting at the kitchen table for hours was probably not a good idea, so they were able to write down on a piece of paper the time they thought we would be home, which communicated enough for her to know that we wouldn't be home till late.  She packed up her walker and headed home, leaving us with the makings for quite a few quiches and some really fun times laughing over the whole incident.  So thankful for sweet neighbors, and for my mom getting in on the craziness that is more the norm than not these days!

Karis and Nana at a yurt in the mountains

We were also really glad that my mom was here to help as we prepare to leave town to go back to the east coast.  Kevin and I (hopefully!) will compete in a sprint triathlon this upcoming Saturday in a beautiful coastal city, then we'll return to Tianjin where we used to live to spend 4 days connecting with old friends.  We're all so excited, and the timing is perfect, as it will give us a distraction from missing my mom as she's just left.  There are quite a few requirements in order to compete in this triathlon, one of which is completing a health check before they allow you to register.  This includes an EKG, which I have now had 3 of in the very recent past!  At the first clinic, Kevin and I both had a heart problem, according to the doctor who read the EKG, which would prevent us from exercising.  When we informed him that we'd been training 6 days a week at a pretty strenuous level for the past 4 months, he was surprised, and decided that we USED to have heart problems, but they must be better now.  Then he sent us out the door!  We decided it best to get the EKG redone, so went to a second clinic, this time with a Chinese friend along just in case we were missing anything with the language barrier.  Kevin was cleared--his EKG looked good and the doctor wrote a note saying he was healthy enough to compete.  I, on the other hand, evidently have a shortage of blood.  After one line of the EKG having a funny dip in the line, the doctor informed me that if I tried to exercise, I would feel severe pain in my chest.  Again, I informed him of my past 4 months of physical activity with absolutely no pain, discomfort, or any other symptoms.  He persisted with his theory that I still had a problem.  His suggestion--rest for 2 days, not doing any physical activity, then return for another EKG.  If at that point my results still looked the same, they would give me a blood transfusion and that would solve the problem!  Kevin and I both agreed on the way out the door that even if that WOULD be my cure-all, we'd rather NOT have me compete in the tri than receive an unnecessary blood transfusion in China!  So the final step was to go to our American doctor friend at the international clinic.  Why didn't we go there in the first place?  Well, it's a good hour across town and 10x the cost of the local hospitals we went to (literally).  But keep in mind the local places were as cheap as dirt--the first EKG cost us $3.25, total, for 2 people!  The second was a bit more pricey--$9 for both of us.  But going to our friend was the right choice.  He did a full physical, checked my EKGs and determined that everything was normal for someone working out regularly, and cleared me to compete.  If I can get in!  The other thing we learned through all this is that when we register at the race site the day before the competition, I need to bring not only the doctor's approval, but also the actual EKG.  If the doctor there on site agrees that there's a problem, they won't let me enter!  So we're sure hoping for the best.  I'll be honest, to not compete would be SUCH a disappointment after all this work.  And it's not that there's just another tri I could sign up for; we're at the end of the season here and there aren't any competitions anywhere close to where we are.  So this is it!  Asking for favor and strength to compete well assuming we do get to do so (and for Kevin's back, which has held up through our training, but sure isn't in good shape, especially when it comes to running on hard pavement)!