Once Again--Creating a New "Normal"

Big Tex

Texas State Fair

One of the mottos of our family is that we are regularly having to find or create a new "normal," as change seems to be more of the expected than the exception in our everyday lives.  So we've settled back into Dallas; this time we're in our own space!  While we were finishing up our time in Colorado we had friends from our church graciously locate and prepare a three-bedroom apartment that is in an ideal location.  Whenever the kids ask me how long it's going to take to get somewhere, I can reply with "10 minutes!" and be pretty accurate!  It is so fantastic to have the bags unpacked, be able to empty out the stash of stuff that's been stored in my parent's extra closet, and spread out without feeling like we're taking over someone else's home.  Our only concern now is trying to keep the boys' wrestling to a minimum during early morning or late evening hours, not knowing just how much our neighbors below us might be hearing through their ceilings!  (And this, thankfully, is a challenge we are all accustomed to, as being considerate of our neighbors is a part of daily life in China when you are living on the 10th floor of a high-rise!)

Ei and Cousin Levi

So one of the funnier responses from the kids regarding the apartment when we first moved in was regarding the size.  After about 2 nights of the kids loving having 2 bedrooms (so only two kids in each room), one of the boys said that he wasn't sure he like the place because it was too big!  Now, it is a three bedroom apartment, but it's certainly not what most kids would call "big."  As I probed with more questions, we both came to discover that it wasn't so much the size of the apartment, but more that it was so spacious feeling because we had so little in the way of belongings and decor.  [And I should add--it's not that our place was without a "homey" touch when we arrived.  Our friends from church had access to a box of photos that we'd left with them 5 years ago when we left the country.  They had hung pictures from our wedding and early days of marriage all around the apartment!  My kids favorite was one of me in a bikini on the fridge, standing with my mom at the beach from when I was in my early college days--and my belly button was pierced!  That's right.  Back in my wild days. haha.  :)  Hudson (my 7 year old), quickly informed me upon seeing the picture that he couldn't believe I had a bikini.  And he was quite certain that it was "inappropriate" for me to be dressed in so little!  I agreed.]  We came up with a plan, and by the end of the week we had some flowers, some candles, and a new picture hanging on the wall, and he agreed that it felt much more like home.  That, and the fact that we figured out how to work the gas fireplace.  The kids LOVE having the thing turned on (you literally just have to flip the light switch right by the hearth) and curl up in the evenings with their pillows and blankets during our family reading time--and this is in 80 degree temperatures!  We've also kept a stockpile of s'mores ingredients so we can take full advantage of roasting opportunities.

Karis and Cousin Caleb

One of the other main differences between this apartment and what we are used to is the closet space.  As I've mentioned before, you have cabinets called "guizis" in China, not closets.  So as Noah was having a hard time going to sleep several evenings in a row, and I was trying to determine the source of his anxiety, he finally fessed up that he was afraid that there were aliens in the closet.  This was a new fear in the Joseph household, as none of our other kids have had the opportunity to have a fear of closets, although I think (at least based on the movie Monsters, Inc.) this is a pretty normal fear at this age and stage!  So we solved the problem by opening the door and leaving a light on inside.  No aliens; no more fear of the closets.  And they've actually become the favorite play place for the kids.  Hudson and Noah have literally transformed our one large utility area into their Small People Avengers secret hideout (don't tell!).  I've discovered all kinds of treasures and weapons hidden around their "cave."  It's pretty cute to see how a little creativity and a closet can go such a long way!

Mother/Daughter Shopping Trip to Canton

As the kids have had more time here in the States to see how their lives are different from their American peers, they have been doing some good external processing.  I'm thankful to have a daughter, in that Karis seems to be the main external verbal processor that fills me in on many late-night conversations that happen between she and her brothers.  (She's only sharing a bedroom with one, but they still often want to all sleep together, so we're used to throwing some blankets on the floor so the foursome can do a slumber party all in one room together.)  She came out the other morning and told me that she and Eli had decided that it would be nice sometimes to just be "normal."  It kind of caught me off guard, not knowing what context she was referring to, so we ended up having a good conversation as I asked she and her brothers more questions about what "normal" was.  At first her definition included that she would be able to tell people that she was from Dallas and not have to mention China, which of course prompts a million questions that you then need to answer and feel embarrassed about at times.  And then she added in that she would own an American Girl doll--to which I quickly corrected her misperception that being a "normal" American also insinuated ownership of said toy!  Once we got beyond the American Girl doll topic, we were able to continue a really sweet conversation where all the kids were able to share some of the differences they liked and didn't like about our family having such an a-typical lifestyle that involves navigating multiple cultures and occupying different homes.  I'm so thankful for my little chick-a-dees and the open communication we have so much of the time!  Hoping that these conversations and opportunities to process continue over the years...  And I was really thankful that in spite of the fact that they've had 9 weeks of mom as their teacher, none of them included homeschooling on their list of dislikes of our lifestlye!  No small miracle indeed...

Pumpkin Carving with Nana and Papa

So I forget sometimes that our younger 3 kids have all spent more time in China than they have in the US, and therefore there are a lot of US customs and traditions that are brand new to them.  Noah has been hysterical to listen to as he tries to figure out Halloween--which isn't celebrated at all in China.  The kids have tried to explain it to him, and in his mind, it's this big game that everyone plays.  The terminology he uses cracks us all up.  He keeps practicing the "magic words" (trick or treat) that you have to say in order to get candy.  And he's so concerned that if he forgets and gets the words wrong, that the others will not "have" to give him candy.  He's asked me to clarify on several occasions, and I realize that in his mind, there's some sort of referee there to ensure that everyone is fair and gets the rules right!  He's been counting down until next Friday night for the entire month--which is so frustrating for him since his concept of time is NOT reality!  (We're still getting our meals mixed up, which is breakfast, lunch, and dinner!)  So looking forward to the actual night just to see if trick-or-treating is all he's imagined it to be!

Chuck E Cheese as our end of the first quarter celebration!

We are LOVING the clean air!

Our 2+ months now Stateside have been amazing.  We have seen more dear friends, made sweet memories with family, and have put more miles on the suburban we are using than I care to count!  We've traveled across the western part of the US once already (going from TX down to the southern part of FL), and now have trekked as far west as Colorado where we get to spend the month of September.  It's amazing how every day is still a day of adventure and new discoveries for the kids--Noah, in particular!  His comments crack us up.  My favorite is when he freaked out about 2 weeks ago when he saw Eli and Hudson wearing their tennis shoes in the bathroom while they were brushing their teeth.  Wearing shoes inside your home in China never happens, so when he noticed that they had theirs on he immediately started hollering to remind them to get them off "quickly"!  Old habits die hard!  (And I should mention that I'm not excited about them having to re-learn this when we return to China.  I'll definitely be doing more floor cleaning upon our immediate return than I'm used to!  As a side note, there is a good reason for the removal of shoes.  Most of you probably know that Asia in general, but China specifically with its huge population, has filthy streets, walkways, and even floors inside stores.  This is partially due to the amount of pollution that leaves a film over everything, but it also is contributed to by the difference in commonly accepted hygiene regarding waste.  The general population doesn't think that excrement carries germs, so you regularly see human and animal waste all over.  Pretty gross, but just one of the realities of living in a developing country that has too many people living in too small an amount of space!)

Our time back in the US has been super refreshing so far, but I've got to admit that there are quite a few areas of challenge for us all.  We're not home.  As strange as it sounds, even Kevin and I after being gone for 5 years have changed.  Our perspective is not the same as everyone else around us. This can be a really good thing, as it has challenged us to re-think some of our previously held cultural values and priorities.  But it can also be really problematic--in increasing the feeling of isolation that we feel by being so different, and also in relationships in which maybe the other person doesn't wish to engage with our newly discovered value system.  I should clarify:  none of these changes are major.  You probably wouldn't notice them at all unless we were engaged in longer, more in-depth conversation.  Nevertheless, the changes are there, and are sometimes obviously apparent to Kevin and myself.  I've never been so thankful to have a spouse with whome I connect so deeply and can talk with so openly!  I'm not sure how either of us would navigate these emotions and these times of transitions if we didn't share such like-mindedness in so many things.

We don't have our own home or belongings (other than the 4 bags of clothes that we came from China with--and most of those are embarrassingly shabby and out of date, so hopefully those of you reading this will not have too many close encounters with them!  We're slowly in the process of updating wardrobes in all regards!  Man, do I LOVE outlet malls and how easy it is to find anything you need in one location--like a mall or a Super Target.  Please trust me when I say that this is a luxury of convenience that most of the rest of the world does not enjoy.)  We have been ABUNDANTLY blessed in provision for our family--we have gotten to stay in some fantastic homes, vacation spots, etc., but as thankful as we are for these incredible blessings and others' generosity (without which we would truly be homeless and carless!), there is a sense of constantly being on edge at being in someone else's space or using their things that makes it hard to completely "let down."  Especially when my 4 little ones do not fall into the "calm and mild mannered" category.  "Bookish" is not a good description for any of mine, but rather "wild and wooly" might be more appropriate!  Thankfully we have made it these 2 months without breaking anything (at least that I'm aware of!) in any of the homes in which we've stayed.  This challenge was bumped up to the ultimate degree when we spent a little over a week in a vacated home (owners on vacation) that only had fine china and silver to eat off of.  I was determined that we could pass this test, and refrained from purchasing the probably wiser choice of using paper plates and cups, only to be proud at the end of the week as we exited unscathed from having to purchase any replacement dinnerware.  And I think the kids got some valuable training in being EXTREMELY careful with their dishes!

We have settled into a bit of a routine (after almost a week) in our favorite place on earth.  Friends from Dallas graciously offered to let us use their home here in the mountains of Colorado for an extended get-away time for our family.  We took off almost a week ago, with Noah asking a very appropriate question as we pulled away from my sister's home, where we have considered to be our home base for much of our time in Dallas.  Noah said, "Mom, why do we go to one house and then another house and then another house....?"  At this point, 2 months into our time in the US, we'd literally been in 13 places (some of them were counted twice, like my sister's) between the west coast (San Francisco), GA, TX, and FL.  Kevin and I cracked up as we explained that this is kind of the life we live--constantly on the move and getting to experience lots of different places and time with lots of different people.  Not sure he totally got it, but he did say that he's loving Colorado and the mountains.  And seeing the "cantaloupe" in the fields along the drive were a highlight (antelope!).

One of the more isolating factors in living cross-culturally is the sense that we're not really understood.  I mean, who gets to take a month off during the year and go to Colorado?!  Kevin, in particular, being in the work world in Dallas since our return (he's working with his former commercial real estate boss and LOVING getting to be back in normal, typical-US type job for a bit), has gotten quite a few comments that increase this feeling of not being understood.  Things like, "Some of us have to stay around here and work", "Now that you have a real job... (referring to him currently doing real estate)", or "Must be nice to have so much vacation time..."  Ouch.  I've got to admit that the Mama Bear in me comes out a bit wanting to defend my husband when he relays such comments to me.  If only others could see the pace at which he has run the past 5 years we've been away!  Down time is something you just can't come by in our line of work, living in another country where the tension of just living is higher than I could possibly communicate in this blog.  How I wish I could justify our time here by clocking our daily hours and how they are spent; I'm pretty sure that the amount of time being put into training for this next move we're making, the hours necessary to spend to get our visa approved, not to mention the work he continues to do remotely for the real estate company would alter the perspectives of those who make such comments.  Sigh.  Guess I'll have to be content with the fact that we are accountable before One who knows the details of our hearts, our actions, and our daily schedules!

That being said, we took the day off yesterday (Saturday) from homeschool and work and played HARD!  We went on a 7-hour hike, traipsing through some of the most beautiful countryside in all God's creation!  We had no idea the kids could make it so far, but they heard that there was a lake at the end of the 4 mile trail and were determined to make it there.  Each time that Noah would start fading and saying that he was ready to go back, Eli would put him on his back for a brief stretch or come up with a new game (usually involving fighting the bad guys off the trail with whatever weapon they had made out of the sticks they found) to keep him going.  And they all made it without falling apart until maybe the last 15 minutes when Noah was just done.  And thankfully, even with how "done" Kevin and I were, he has a Daddy who can hike and pack an incredible amount of stuff--including worn out kids!  So we made it back to the trailhead absolutely exhausted and yet so satisfied with our accomplishment!  Eli's 9th birthday is this Wednesday, and he's requested that we skip school and do another adventure--either involving a long hike or more trout fishing (his personal favorite, in spite of the fact that only Noah has caught one so far this week).  I'm pretty sure there is not another person or family up here who is more thankful for where we are.  We cannot get enough of the beauty, the air, the trees, the vastness of creation....Soaking it all in and trying to store it all up...

God Bless the USA!

We've been Stateside now for a month, and talk about a blessing!  We are eating our weight in hot dogs, hamburgers, Tex Mex, and Chick-fill-A.  We are stopping at every water fountain for a drink and taking off our shoes to walk in the grass whenever we get the opportunity.  We are escaping into the world of Christian music coming over the radio and soaking in as much time with our (all boy!) cousins as we can.  We are thrilled by the quick drive through options available, as well as the accessibility of sooooo many products at Super Target.  We've finally gotten new tennis shoes that don't have the soles worn through, and our wardrobes are updated with the latest (mainly super hero) fashion options out there.

But as much as we are loving and enjoying the month we've had here and the refreshment it brings, we still miss China and our friends there!  We are living out of a suburban that we're using for our six months that we are Stateside, and we've moved 7 times within the one month and 5 days that we've been here--so LOTS of packing and re-packing of our bags.  Not that they are filled with much, as I tried to bring on the bare minimum of our necessities, leaving room to make a lot of purchases over the next several months and have the luggage space to pack everything back to China when we return the first week of January.  I had a long talk with my best friend from China the other day, and it was more refreshing than I expected to be able to communicate in the language that has become so much a part of who I am, of who WE are as the Joseph family.


In this photo Karis is showing off her newly-pierced ears!  My mom and sister surprised her with me by meeting at the mall as part of her 10th birthday gift.  She handled the trauma with no tears and very little drama!

We've just spent the last 5 days at a training in preparing to switch companies.  The training is filled with others who are going overseas, too, mostly young couples who are just starting out on this exciting journey.  It's been so sweet to be one of the "veterans" here--no longer the chop stick rookies that we started out as 5 years ago when we first moved to China.  We've been able to share lots of our experiences and the mistakes and lessons we've learned along the way.  It's so sweet to have time of intentionally looking back and processing some of what we've been through in this overseas journey!


This photo is one of my favorite moments.  We were at a park in GA with friends Hudson discovered port-a-potties!  Upon entering, he closed the door and then continued to converse with me as I stood on the outside.  The words out of his mouth?  "Mom!  This is awesome!  I've never been in anything like this before!"  I encouraged him to hurry up with his business, not touch anything, and make as quick an exit as possible, in spite of his intrigue by the new experience.

When we finish here at the end of the week we'll be heading on to other parts of Florida, spending time with Kevin's parents and then my sister and her family.  We are so thankful for this extended time to have to re-connect with our precious families!  Without a doubt, the biggest sacrifice we make in living overseas is that shortage of time to spend with so many of our favorite people.  Thankful for the time we do have now!!!

And yes, our family did even make it to Disney World for a day--thanks to the generosity of G-Ma and G-Pa!

Less than 2 months left in Tianjin!

Our life normally runs at a pretty fast pace.  But as we prepare to move and also prepare for a 6-month stay back in the US, the number of things on our to-do lists, the people we're trying to spend time with in "memorable" activities, and the errands we're needing to run might be setting new records for us.  So since I've had several people asking what our "normal" routine includes, I'll start off this post with an overview of our family's past week.  Keep in mind that this is including the "extras" that are part of our attempt to leave Tianjin well...

• Monday--everyone at the International School from the time we leave on the 7am bus until we return home at 4:30pm (Kevin and Ashley teaching their high school classes; all 4 kids in their full-day of classes); homework from 4:30 until 6pm when we eat dinner; reading and bedtime for the kids between 7 and 7:30; Kevin teaches an English class to our Korean neighbor (in exchange for his mom teaching Karis and Eli piano lessons) from 7:30-8:30 while Ashley grades English composition papers
• Tuesday--Ashley and the kids at school from 7am until12:45 when she (me!) and Noah return home on the bus; Kevin is running errands that whole time, mainly things that are in preparation for our move; Ashley has a Chinese lesson at home from 2-3:15 while Noah has a rest time; pick up the other kids from the bus stop at 4:15, so grocery shopping at the market stores on the way (between 3:30 and 4:15); homework, piano, dinner, and bedtime routine; Kevin has a dinner "study" with a friend wanting to learn more from 6-8pm 
• Wednesday--Ashley and the kids at school again from 7am until 12:45 when she and Noah return home; Kevin has a morning meeting with a peer and an older mentor; Noah has a playdate with a friend while I grade papers at home; pick up the kids from the bus stop at 4, play outside (it's a clear-sky day!  woohoo!) for a little over an hour; take a group of Kazakh friends out for Mexican food for dinner
• Thursday--national holiday so no school!  Meet another American family at a restaurant for lunch as a "final fling" with them; Ashley spend most of the afternoon preparing dinner; 5pm one of our longest-time Chinese friends comes over for dinner
• Friday--back to school for the whole family (Kevin, Ashley and Noah come home at 1:30); Kevin goes to a meeting with other ex-pats that is lifting up some specific requests while I get ready for Hudson's birthday dinner (his 7th bday!); open presents after the kids get home from the bus stop, then have a bday dinner with only our family and our "surrogate grandparents" who are here, Rob and Barb; party includes Papa John's pizza as the main course, outside game of soccer, and then watching "Frozen" after having cake and icecream (with candles that have multi-colored flames--not really sure what would make them do so, so hoping we didn't take in some unknown carcinogens in the time it took between when they were lit and when they were blown out!)
• Saturday--Kevin takes the kids to soccer from 7:15am until 11:00 while I make some phone calls, clean the house a bit, and do some dinner prep for that evening; 2 couples come over for dinner as our "farewell fling" with them (both were former Chinese teachers at our old language school)
• Sunday--worship at home as a family (in search of some much-needed "down" time to not feel like we were rushing around so much); lunch at Mc Donalds with our best friends, the Swansons; class-wide going-away party for Hudson and his friends at the water park where we played games and had cupcakes from 2-4:30

So that's it!  Our lives in a nutshell.  Lots of emotions being expressed in pretty much all of us these days.  We're all feeling the weight of transition.  With the move we're making, and the transience of the international community here, the reality is that there's a really good chance we will not be seeing our best friends here again in this lifetime.  We'll be a four-hour flight across the country (or 36 hours by train, if we want to travel the more economical route!).  And so many of our friends here either have plans to move within the next 2 years or else are at the international school where you only sign 2-year contracts (or even 1-year long ones),  the chances of Tianjin being a whole new place a year or two from now is pretty great.  It's a sobering and sad reality that hits like a tidal wave at times....

The number of unknowns regarding our future right now are abundant, too.  We'll be back in the States for 6 months, but we're homeless and carless for most of that time!  There's a good chance we'll have our needs all provided for through our home group in Dallas, but there's still a lot of pieces that need to come together between now and our return on June 25.  Our move out west might be the more unnerving of our questions.  We still don't have confirmation that the company Kevin is planning on working for (a sports company that is just getting started) will be ready to provide a visa for our family by the time we need one (when we plan to move there the first week of January 2015).  The housing market right now out there is geared toward buying rather than renting; so our friends who just moved there last month literally couldn't find an apartment to rent, and therefore ending up buying one at the spur of the moment!  We don't know which group we'll be working with out there (Kevin goes in 2 weeks to take a week-long trip to meet with the different leaders to see if we can determine who would be the best fit, and then our family all goes there from June 11-18 to spend time with as many of the ex-pat families as possible to look for the same thing).  Oh, and there was a terrorist attack this past week in the train station of the city we're going to.  So it's safe to consider not only the region, but also the city we're going to as slightly unstable.  Are we feeling the tension?????  Um, yes.  I must confess that we are--at least in our bodies physically if not at the conscious level!  So we're getting to take our level of dependence and our time on our knees also to a whole new level, as well as trying to stay focused on living one day at a time, taking advantage of every opportunity and every "final fling" with so many who we hold so dear.  We'd appreciate your "thoughts" on our behalf in this same regard!

On a lighter note, I've started to think ahead to our time in the US and how blatant of misfits our family is likely to be.  Karis and I climbed into a taxi the week before last and she couldn't close the door!  She literally didn't know how to hold onto the door properly from the inside and pull the door closed without holding onto the handle.  I realized that our mini-van only has a sliding door; so she's used to using that type.  But every other car she's in has been a taxi, and our normal routine is to have the kids get in first and slide across the back seat to the door that does not open, then Kevin or I climb in last and pull the door shut (this way the kids aren't left out in the street without us being there next to them).  The crazy epiphany made me realize that there are quite a few things our kids just don't know or aren't accustomed to, due to living here in China.  And the boys haven't been back in 2 years, so they're really out of touch with typical American culture!   So here are a few things that we've probably picked up along the way from living in an Asian society for the past 5 years (this is a warning--and apology!--to those of you who we'll be seeing over the next 6 months in the US!):

• being more comfortable finding a bush to pee in outside rather than looking for an indoor bathroom (there aren't many of those in public places, and if they do have them they're too unsanitary to use without having to burn your shoes afterward)
• pushing to get through a door or onto an elevator (we live in a city of 14 million; you snooze, you lose!)
• talking about a person's appearance or actions right in front of them (we're used to no one understanding our English, so you can get away with commenting on their crazy outfit or decayed teeth without offending them)
• asking how old someone is or how much money something costs that belongs to another person (these questions are totally okay to ask in this culture!)
• ZERO personal space (again, we live in a city of 14 million....); they'll walk so close that you're bumping shoulders most of the time
• preferring to drink tea with their breakfast than oj or milk (regular, old-fashioned green Chinese tea is their beverage of choice whenever they can get it!  at least for the older kids)
• no comprehension of phone etiquette (we are rarely if ever on our phone, so the kids don't have an understanding of when we are, they need to wait until we get off in order to talk to us)
• putting bunny ears up with their finger in every photo that is taken of them (that is the Asian norm; you don't take a photo without at least one hand holding up the "V" or bunny ears!)

So we'd appreciate your prs and your grace as we seek to transition well and not be total freaks upon our re-entry into the US!!  No doubt, the 5 years we've spent here have changed us in more ways than we even are aware of.  We've definitely had our love for jiaozi (Chinese dumplings) increase significantly! :)

Exploring More of China--with Nana!

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With our big move out to western China looming before us, we decided to make a trip to a part of southern China that is known for having one of the more unique landscapes in all the world.  One of the top tourist attractions here in China is a place called Guilin, and it is in this outdoor-lover’s paradise that we spent our week of spring break—complete with the company of Nana (my mom who came in town from Dallas to visit)!   It was truly a week jam-packed full of fun experiences and memory-making moments.  A new train line has just been opened that allowed us to go to Guilin from Beijing in just 10 ½ hours (rather than the 23-hour train ride that was previously required).  We started off by spending a night in Beijing (we had an early train that didn’t allow us enough time to get the 3 hour’s travel required to make it from Tianjin to Beijing), during which time I was also able to take Noah into the international hospital to see the ENT and have his ears checked.  We’d asked the school to do a more in-depth hearing check on him, as he regularly speaks at a high volume and oftentimes seems to not hear us when we are speaking to him in a normal voice (rather than the yelling that he also hears sometimes!  Haha…just kidding.)  We were somewhat to relieved to discover that he does not having a degenerative hearing problem, nor is he only “selectively hearing” his parents and their instructions, but he had a wax build-up problem, due to what we think is a combination of his gene pool and the pollution that we experience to such an intense degree here.  After getting worked on for an hour and a half at the doctor’s office, Noah emerged (still smiling and informing me that he was doing “just great!”) with his ears pretty much cleaned out and his hearing test results being much more on the “normal” scale.

The next day was spent on the train—all day!  But how nice it was to be traveling that distance in a train that allows for more movement and getting up and down and walking between the cars rather than flights on airplanes that we are used to, which have much more restricted movement.  The only mishaps we experienced were our two taxis getting separated in our trip from the hotel to the train station (one went to the south entrance while the other went to the north), resulting in us almost missing the train due to how long it took our family to get re-united and through the correct entrance to our train platform.  In the midst of the rush and chaos, I didn’t get to purchase the instant noodles or the McDonalds that I planned to have for our breakfast and lunch; so we had a long trip with VERY little to eat along the way!  I had luckily packed a stash of granola bars which were polished off almost completely just on our train ride there, leaving little for the rest of the week like I’d originally planned.  But I was thankful that my crew has grown so flexible that they can get by on pretty little and with relatively little complaining in the process!

We have intentionally waited to do much travel within China until the kids are now a little older (Karis is almost 10 and Noah is almost 5).   And after this trip, I think our decision to wait until now was a good one!  It’s amazing how much stuff you have to lug in really difficult carrying situations.  We were up and down through lots of subway transfer stops, lugging all that we packed up huge flights of stairs, shoving to get through doors and onto trains and praying all along the way that we didn’t loose a kid in the shuffle—or a piece of luggage, for that matter.  The kids each carried their own belongings for the week.  For 8 days of travel, they each had packed one pair of shoes (besides the ones they wore), 8 shirts, 4 pair of shorts, 2 pair of long pants, and 1 long-sleeved shirt (and socks and undies of course).  If they wanted to bring anything else (their special blankets, books, a toy, etc.), they knew they had to carry the weight of it in their own bag.  And they did so!  Noah and Hud occasional (actually, Noah did most of the time) asked for help with their bags, but Eli in particular is my little pack horse (following in his dad’s footsteps) and regularly would carry 2 bags up and down the stairs we encountered.  The only loss on the way (which was a biggie)—the case of DVD’s that was taken out of the entertainment bag to select a movie to watch while on the train.  Major bummer.  We had about 25 of the kids favorite movies we had packed for the trip that are now probably being enjoyed by someone else somewhere….sigh.  We’re hoping it was a good lesson to learn increased responsibility for our stuff for the kids.

The week was quite rainy, but it didn’t slow us down at all.  The first day we were told about a hike up one of the mountains right in town that is the highest peak in town—where they have the TV tower located.  The man who told us about it did so in passing, also including the information that our kids were probably too young to make the climb and that it would be slippery anyway, due to the recent rain.  This was all my crew needed to hear to be excited about the challenge ahead of them!  So climb the TV tower mountain we did.  We got an amazing view of the town and the endless mountain ranges that surrounded it, and we had sore legs after our first day—which was a great feeling!  My mom was blown away by my 4 little ones and how their legs just didn’t give out.  By the time we were within about 100m of the bottom of the hill, Kevin had Noah on his shoulders, as his shorter legs had finally hit their max.

The hotel we stayed in was located across a large river from where the town center was, so each day that we wanted to go into town (which was pretty much every afternoon for dinner and souvenir shopping), we would hike down a hill about 20 minutes and then look along the bank of the river for a boat or a small barge that was willing to take us across to the opposite bank.  This was a highlight for the kids, and by the end of the week we had gotten to know most of the riverboat drivers and weren’t getting ripped off as much when we paid them as we disembarked!  On the other side of the river was where the fresh fish (and turtles, water snakes, shellfish, etc.) were being sold.  The kids loved going from vendor to vendor to discover what treasures they were peddling that day.  A highlight was when one of the ladies gave each of the kids their very own crawfish after they proved that they were not too scared to pick them up and hold them in the air, their pincers flying in panic.  The crawfish accompanied us to dinner at the restaurant that night, then were freed later to “return to their families” a little further downstream. 

In addition to hiking the TV tower mountain in town, we had a driver take us to a small village about an hour and a half outside of town for another longer day of hiking.  The scenery was breathtaking, and we ended in a green valley with ducks and riverboats passing by that was almost magical.  The kids convinced us that they should hike up their shorts (or take them off, if you were Noah with the shortest legs!) and wade through the smaller stream of water so they could get closer to the main flow of water where the boats were passing by.  The kids kept saying how much they felt like they were in Colorado, where our family loves to go and explore.

The other two activities we did that were the favorites were caving and rock climbing.  The caving adventure started off by a small canoe taking all 7 of us into the mouth of the cave, then dropping us off (with only 2 flashlights and helmets on everyone!) to find our way through.  Kevin had previously been through this cave (he went to the same location a year ago when he chaperoned a school trip for the high school students), so he was pretty sure he knew the way to get to the mud pit that was waiting at the other end of the cave.  We hunted for quite some time, found lots of stalactites and stalagmites and a large number of bats, and finally came upon the mud pit.  The boys stripped down to their underwear and Karis had on a tank top that we’d bought with the purpose of this one wear and then throwing it away, and the kids had so much fun floating in this mud pool.  Cleaning off the mud was another story.  I think Hudson wailed the whole time as Kevin doused him with the cold water of the river once we’d exited the cave; the clothes all had to be thrown away as the dirt was so fine and so prolific that there was no hope of getting rid of it all.

And I never dreamed that my kids would be such passionate rock climbers!  Once they got started, we couldn’t keep them off the rocks.  We hired a company to bring us with experienced climbers and all the gear to one of the popular spots to climb there in Yang Shuo (the smaller city we were in, which is known to have some of the best rock climbing in the whole world).  The guides who took us there were from all over the world, all coming to work and climb that area because of the uniqueness of the geography.  I hadn’t climbed in about 15 years, but found it really was like riding a bike—with maybe my legs a little less sturdy than they were when I was 20!  We finally had to make the kids stop when our time was up, but they’ve all decided (except maybe Noah, who liked going up more than he liked having to repel to get back down!) they’d like to take up rock climbing as a hobby.

Our return trip was eventful right at the very end.  I was at least prepared with food for this journey—even though we didn’t have our DVDs to watch movies L  However, the kicker was when we had arrived in Beijing and were moving through the subway to get from one train station to the other one.  In the mix of holiday travel (it was Tomb Sweeping Day while we were out of town, so many were traveling back to their home towns to be with family and literally go and visit and clean the gravesites of their relatives, leaving the countryside spotted with tombs covered with brightly covered flowers for us to view as we traveled along the tracks), we got separated on the subway.  Kevin and the boys had gotten on one car, and as my mom and Karis and I tried stepping on, the doors slammed shut (hard enough to leave a pretty good-sized bruise on my arm that was caught in the closing doors!).  Thankfully we were able to communicate using our phones and just meet up at our next transfer station, but it really rattled the kids (and the adults!).  In the mess that ensued, we ended up leaving one of the bags (the one with all my belongings in it) at one of the benches in the subway station.  We made it all the way upstairs and purchased tickets for the next train back home to Tianjin when we realized one bag was missing.  We were certain that it had been stolen, as we all remembered seeing all the bags and having them in one location while we were waiting.  We told a police officer, not really thinking anything could be done.  He was kind enough to find the surveillance video that came from the camera right by where our luggage had been stationed.  Would you believe he discovered that we had walked up with one fewer bag than we thought we had—proving that our bag had been left somewhere previously!  We were able to backtrack and talk to the security guards from the subway, and they had my bag—complete with my SLR camera that is one of my most prized possessions!  Besides getting my favorite shorts and my camera back, the neatest thing was seeing how it impacted the kids.  When we realized the bag was gone, after I’d cried a tear or two, we’d all huddled together in the train station and asked the Father to bring back my bag.  Hudson and Eli both mentioned that the Father had answered several of their specific prayers on this trip—one day when they asked for Him to make it stop raining and then again to bring back the bag.  They both made the comment at separate times that He really does want us to come to Him and ask for some specifics—and how fun it is to see Him answer!  What a sweet reminder for all of us….

And while this just about wraps up our amazing vacation, this post would not be complete if I failed to mention Kevin’s latest adventure this past weekend.  He’s been working with a group of young men who aren’t totally convinced that having our same religious beliefs are very “manly”.  So Kevin and a friend have taken up the challenge to prove otherwise!  They’ve come up with a series of “Man Challenges” over the next several weekends, and they began on Saturday.  The first week involved Kevin buying a live chicken (this was no small challenge due to the bird flu; however he finally succeeded after hearing a rooster crow outside the classroom window where he was teaching, then following the sound to a neighborhood where he found a man illegally raising chickens in his courtyard; we bought two, but only one made it to the competition [long story short, the other one figured out how to open the box up enough to escape when we opened the back end of the car, and she was faster than either Kevin or I, even after multiple attempts to recapture our feathered friend!]).  Then the group of guys went to Trash Mountain where they had a series of events, one of them (and the highlight, apparently) being chasing and catching the chicken.  They were the spectacle of the park (but didn’t get arrested, PTL!), and the guys who attended all posted on their social network that it was one of the most memorable days of their lives!  All this while I’ve got the kids in a more traditional “teaching” situation—sitting around drinking coffee and tea while studying parenting techniques (the photo is me using Noah as my model to show the process we go through when a kid needs a spanking, including the reconciliation process that happens as we talk through the consequences of our disobedience).  My ladies also loved the time, but I’m wondering if I too should try to incorporate chasing live chickens during our next study…

We're Okay!!!

Believe it or not, we're still alive here and kickin' in Tianjin.  I've just been swamped and haven't found the time to get to the ole' blog!  My apologies for any who feared we'd fallen off the globe completely.....

So where to begin?  I think the most eventful things as of late have been our trip to Thailand and our current preparations for our next transition.  For Chinese New Year, our family took off for a full two weeks of "vacation" time in Thailand.  Not much time to actually be lounging on the beach, but we made the most of the clear-sky days that we could, finding lots of fun sea life (including live eels that we stumbled upon while exploring some rock formations not too far off the shoreline!) and drinking as many coconut smoothies as we could find along the roadside.  We had our fair share of mangoes, some that we picked directly off the trees, discovered a snake in our path (thankfully NOT a cobra), and were truly refreshed by our time with friends and the meetings we had. 

Getting to Thailand was the first part of the adventure.  I had purchased our tickets back in October, and had the confirmation numbers, proof of payment, and all the other flight details all printed out in my file that I showed them at the ticket counter when we tried to check in 2 1/2 hours before our flight.  We were informed, however, that although they had our names in their computer, our tickets had not gone through the final confirmation process, so we didn't have seats!  It literally took the entire 2 1/2 hours to get the permission they needed by phone to get us on the flight.  And that happened 4 minutes before the flight was scheduled to take off!  We ended up sweet talking our way into the VIP security lane, rushing through that to sprint through the airport--each kid pulling their own carry-on bag--as if we aren't already enough of a spectacle--and racing to get on the flight that they held for a few minutes until we got there.  They informed us that our bags would not be on the flight (and they didn't know which flight they would be on), that we didn't have seats confirmed from the other China city we were stopping over in to Bangkok (our second leg of our ticket) and they didn't have meals on us for the flight because they weren't counting on six "extra" passengers!  The good news is, I had a bag of pb&j sandwiches in tow (I've traveled enough internationally to know that you never know what you're gonna get!), our bags were the first ones off the conveyer belt when we arrived in the other China city (they obviously got them onto our flight somehow!), and we miraculously had seats confirmed on the final leg of our journey.  It was a really neat picture to see the Father's hand in all things--He wanted us to get to Thailand on time; so we got to Thailand on time, in spite of missing every "mile marker" that we supposedly did (bags getting on, time to get through security and board the plane, etc).  Boy, did it make us thankful to be in Thailand in light of the fact that we were so uncertain for those 2 1/2 hours of waiting that  we would actually get to make the trip!


We returned to find that it had snowed in Tianjin the day we arrived!  Thankfully it didn't affect our flight's arrival; only our bodies were a bit confused to be sunburned and yet freezing in our long underwear once again.  I must confess mixed emotions upon our return.  It sure felt good to be back in our own home, but I was also pretty grossed out just walking out of the airport and dodging the huge loogies that were all over the sidewalk.  There are some aspects of China-living that I'm not sure I'll ever get totally used to....

The past 3 weeks since our return have been crazy busy.  We jumped back into teaching the day after we got back in town, and we've also added on the responsibilities that go with preparing for a move.  I've had 2 moving companies come to give us estimates over the past week (we're planning on storing all of our furniture for the 4 or 5 months we are not here, then having it shipped out west).  We've had a friend come in town--another American who started a baseball company in another city here in China who is moving this next month to the same western city we are heading to!  He is trying to open a similar company and would like for Kevin to join him, we're just not sure that it will be up and running in time to be ready to provide a job (and visa) for us when we need it.  So Kevin has been hoping to still pursue other job opportunities to keep his options open, but the recent events that many of you probably read about in the paper that happened in a Chinese subway have made the opportunities for foreigners a lot more complicated (and less available!).  We're still not sure all the implications that event will have for us directly, but are anxious to see how it all plays out and to know if a trip out there this month is going to happen or not.

We just spend the whole day yesterday at a seminar the international school puts on called "Leaving Well."  There are so many families who come and go that they've developed a really neat program they walk us through to help make the transitions that come with big moves (mostly international).  The school graciously asked us to be a part, even though we're not moving back to the US, but since they know that this move out west might as well be going to another country.  It was really helpful to kind of be forced to process through a lot of the details of how to wrap up relationships well, move forward with purpose, and think through what underlying expectations we might have that we don't even realize.  So each of the kids had already started this preparing to transition phase, and we've put together a family notebook to keep track of all of our "leaving stuff"--the lists of who the kids want to do special things with, the last places they want to visit, photos they want to take, etc.  I'm thankful we started the preparation early; Karis' list alone might take us the entire 3 months to fulfill!   After I suggested the kids making these lists, Karis came off of the bus the next day with an entire sheet filled in with tiny boxes of names, party ideas, and other special things she wanted to do with all her different social groups.  She is truly my "lover of people!"  The difference in maturity in processing leaving is pretty pronounced between her and Noah; when I asked what he wanted to put on his "leaving list" his response was, "I'll just do whatever Hudson wrote down."


Our plans for the US are also at the forefront of our minds.  I must admit it's a bit mind-boggling to think of being back for so long.  We're planning on returning mid-July and not coming back to China until right after Christmas.  Our time will be full--several different trainings to attend, homeschool to begin, people to see.  But in spite of how busy we always are when we're back in the US, it seems like it will be the break that we're hoping for!  This morning in particular I was dreaming of going to Super Target, picking out a box of cereal, fresh fruit, and yogurt all in ONE STORE, and calling breakfast DONE!  A bag of carrots that doesn't take me an hour to soak, scrub, peel, and slice....Ahh.  It's the little things.  And that's not even to mention the truly good stuff--the reconnecting with people that we just don't get to spend time with like we long to!

Before I get to carried away with thinking to the future....one of my favorite moments over the last few weeks.  We took the kids to see a movie in the theater for the first time together as a family.  Now I realize that I'm totally opening myself to all sorts of criticism for this one.  And I really can't believe that we decided to do this.  But our kids have now seen the "Lord of the Rings" movies.  They love them, and they really dont' get scared by all the scary things that are on it (Gollum, orcs, etc).  Which this alone maybe says something about how we've let them become desensitized.....Anyway.  Without going any more into it--the funny story.  So Noah is sitting on my lap in the theater and the Elves on the screen start talking in their Elven language.  Noah turns to face me and Eli and confidently explains, "They're speakin' Korean."  When we both started howling with laughter, he realized he must be wrong, so he scrunched up his face and this time less-confidently asked, "Chinese?"  Total picture of his world; he hears a language he doesn't know and assumes it's Korean (what most of his classmates speak).  If he's wrong, then it must be Chinese that he just didn't recognize!

The other favorite was when we were talking about this summer in the US.  We're considering signing up the kids for a summer sports camp.  Hudson was really enthusiastic, even willing to go without a sibling or a friend that he knew, after he asked, "Wait.  Will the teacher speak English?"  When I assured him that they would, be was ready to go--friendless or otherwise!  I guess there's just something confidence-building about being able to communicate in a language without having to do the work it takes to communicate in a different language. :)

Christmas Celebrations

Our two-week long Christmas break is drawing to a close, but the celebrations and rest time have been fantastic!  We started off with lots of parties.  We had groups of Chinese friends over to celebrate, single teachers who were roommate-less for the holiday, a ladies' luncheon, and even a group of our high school students whose families don't do much to celebrate joined us on Christmas day for dinner and a wii American Idol singing competition.  We had a great time sharing with others the meaning of the season and making some sweet memories together as a family.  The gifts the kids received were much loved; but the really neat thing to see was how they've matured to the point of understanding that Christmas is more than just getting gifts.  They truly delighted in blessing others by giving and trying to express love in different ways.  Such a joy to see!

One of the pictures is of the kids with our ayi in front of the Christmas tree in our living room.  Since we've been off from school on break, we've had a great time getting to hang out with her and just play!





















Another one of our favorite days was when we went to Meijiang Lake to explore. This is our usual swimming spot, but we explored it for the first time on dry land.  We managed to walk all around the lake--a good 3 mile trek--and found all sorts of treasures along the way.  One of the most fun parts was seeing how it had frozen over.  I was concerned that the lake would be frozen solid enough to walk on, but obviously that concern was one not shared by those willing to journey out to the middle to go ice fishing!  I took a picture to capture the moment.  Another one of the craziest scenes was watching a guy using a huge log on the end of a rope to break through the ice, leaving a big enough hole for a group of men to jump in and swim a distance and then return to the dock.  We couldn't get over how cold they must have been!  When I asked one of the spectators, she assured me that as long as they kept moving afterward it really wasn't so cold.  Impressive, I thought!

This past week we were out with a group of friends wondering around the neighborhood and found a new favorite spot--one with grass!  Eli climbed up a pile of dirt, then yelled out, "Mom!  You'd never believe this--I see grass!!!"  All the other kids came running to see, and we were aghast at how much grass was actually there.  They spent the rest of the time we had (before we had to head out for lunch plans) rolling down the hills.  The kids were elated when I told them that if they could wait another 7 months, they'd have their pick of grassy hills in the US to roll down.  Eli added that they probably wouldn't even have to look out for dog poop so much there.















We had a surprise at the restaurant we went to with some friends after the hill rolling time.  In addition to the live fish and frogs in tanks that you could pick out to have fried up and put on your dining table, they had a live alligator in a large container!  Noah was convinced he was sleeping, due to his small amount of motion, and Karis was pretty upset about the inhumane treatment.  She even shed a few tears before we got to the table.  I was only disappointed that I failed to ask how much it would cost per pound to be served.

Yesterday we had a unique invitation--to go to another one of the single male teacher's homes to have lunch--that he cooked all by himself!  We were so impressed to have a guy invite a family of 6 over for a meal in his home.  Can't say that happens every day!  The kids were nuts about his cooking--chicken quesadillas and cheesy rice; their favorite part was the dessert.   It was basically a giant cookie monster that had ice cream and whipped cream on top.  They said their favorite part was that we all grabbed spoon and ate out of the same pan together.  Pretty cute!  And glad none of us had any contagious sicknesses at the time! :)


 The kids went to their "adopted grandparents" house last night for a slumber party.  Our friends, Rob and Barb, wanted to give Kevin and me an extended date so that we could celebrate our 12th anniversary.  The kids had a ball playing games, having a movie night, and getting to have a sleepover (which rarely, if ever, happens for us here!), and Kevin and I got to enjoy a leisurely dinner and sleeping in this morning.  A win-win for all!

Two funny stories that would probably only happen in China...The fist was told to me by a friend regarding her ayi.  My friend was at home while her ayi was there ironing some laundry.  My friend was perplexed as she watched her ayi take a swig of water out of a glass, then walk outside to her yang tai (like an outside balcony) with her daughter's formal choir dress.  She then watched in horror as her ayi sprayed the mouthful of water all over the dress, then walked back inside to continue the ironing!  My friend ran to the balcony calling the ayi's name in shock, to which the ayi responded in embarrassment that she couldn't find the spray bottle so figured she could simulate it by using her talent for spitting the water!  They were able to laugh about it, but my friend did express that the dress would need to be washed again, next time using the actual spray bottle to dampen it before ironing.

The other shock had to do with my Christmas present--a new cell phone!  I must admit that I've been quite content to stay somewhat in the dark ages as far technology and cell phones are concerned.  But as of late, I've had a growing desire to be able to connect more easily with people, specifically with friends in the US.  So my big gift was an iPhone that Kevin set up so I could connect with people both Stateside and here in China.  Somehow, my sim card for my phone is not in my name (not really sure why, that just kind of happened when we first moved here 4 1/2 years ago and we've never been able to change it...guess it's just a China thing?).  So Kevin had just put money on my phone (all cell phones here work like pre-paid phones in the US, where you put money on your account and then it just keeps working until you run out).  But apparently, the plan I had did not include any data, so the long story short was that I burned through 230 kuai (the equivalent of about $40) in 2 days!  (I usually spend about 50 kuai per month for my cell phone usage.)  The biggest surprise of all was when Kevin went to the cell phone store to change my plan, which obviously was NOT the most affordable one, and was able to not only change my plan, but also to get all the money back.  When I continued to press him for why they were so generous (I'm telling you, this is UNHEARD of, especially here where customer service is just not a concept that you ever see emphasized or practiced), I finally got out of him that it was most likely due to his Chinese ability!  Apparently, the people at the store really like him because he's a foreigner who actually speaks enough Chinese to communicate well with them!  Really glad I sent him in rather than myself to get things ironed out! :)