We are so thankful to say that our weather has warmed up TREMENDOUSLY over the last few weeks! We've even put away our long underwear (most days) and I'm trying to remember which suitcases stuffed under the beds contain which warm-weather clothes (there are no closets here, so we do what we can to find storage space). We did make the most of the last big snow we experienced; the photos were taken right before Chinese New Year (the beginning of Feb) out of my kitchen window. Eli was down in our courtyard and rolling huge balls of snow to make our apartment community's largest snowman! It was a huge hit with all the neighbors, and he stayed occupied literally for hours on his project (he made an entire family by the end of the day). Each time I looked out the window to check on him I could see our neighbors gathered around to admire his work. Pretty precious!
The next scene is also taken from our kitchen window--this one with the photographer (which would be me) being MUCH more irritated at the time it was taken. Our apartment community (which supposedly houses either 30,000 or 300,000 residents; we've heard both numbers!) has enacted a new policy of not allowing anyone who is not authorized (meaning hasn't paid their monthly fees and received an entrance card) to park in the underground parking. The result: every courtyard, sidewalk, and street has now become a parking lot. It has made it unsafe for the kids to run around on the sidewalks unsupervised and has made squeezing through the narrow streets (especially in the morning) nearly impossible. It is not uncommon at all for me to have to jump out of the car in the morning to help guide Kevin as he drives, instructing him on how many centimeters he has to make it through a narrow opening between 2 cars. There has been so much frustration in the community about the new parking rules that several garages have had the mechanical arms broken off that are intended to keep vehicles out that don't have the proper card. We remain curious about how long it will take for people to either simmer down and pay for parking or to have some other change in the policy that would alleviate some of the (obvious to everyone) problem in the community.
I've mentioned several times before about the expectations that go along with relationships here in China. As our circle of close friends widens, so do some of the expectations for our family. At the end of the Chinese New Year celebrating there is one final day (the Lantern Festival) that has lots of traditions that goes along with it. A good friend of Kevin's called us that weekend and was adamant that we get together with him; but of course our schedule was pretty full already for that weekend (we talked to him on Thursday). He was persistent in inviting our whole family to his apartment (which he shares with his elderly mother) for them to prepare dinner for us. The last time Kevin, Noah, and I had lunch there, it was a multiple-hour event (Chinese cooking is only done over a stove in a wok, so you have to complete one dish at a time if you only have one burner, which is the norm, and when you have guests you'd better put a LOT of different dishes on the table if you want to be polite). And the apartment was so small, that even with only 3 of us there, we still had to sit on the mother's bed to all fit close enough to the coffee table to eat. And now he wanted all 6 of us to come for a holiday dinner that he would prepare for us. Uh-uh. I put my foot down on that one, quite certain that it would undoubtedly push me over the edge trying to keep the destruction to a minimum that was certain to ensue from having my four wild ones contained in that environment for any length of time!
So the alternative? Having them on our turf. I (somewhat
grudgingly, I must admit) insisted that they come to our house instead.
I didn't totally take into account how much preparation I was asking to
do: being a holiday, hosting in our home, and having an elderly
Chinese woman (more traditional in expectations) in our home for the
first time were all complicating factors for me--who normally has Sunday
dinner as our order-pizza night, so I can have Sunday afternoons to
rest and have some down time. Not this week! I had a very helpful
husband, but still ended up spending all Sunday afternoon getting enough
food prepared to make our friends feel welcomed and loved. I think we
pulled it off okay, but I was definitely ready to crash when they
finally headed home and the dishes were sitting on the drying rack. The night (and Chinese New Year celebration) ended with LOTS of fireworks that we could see out of all of the windows of our 10th-story apartment; so many and lasting so late into the night that a few of the kids had a heck of a time falling asleep in the midst of the thundering booms.
The
next cultural doozie came the following week. Kevin came into the
kitchen with a sheepish look on his face after receiving a phone call.
He was meeting a group of local friends the next night, and evidently
one of those friends had called, partly to request that I send some
homemade cookies for Kevin's friend to give to HIS friend--who somehow
has eaten my cookies and is a fan. So thankfully I had some extra dough
saved up in the fridge, but the whole time I was preparing and baking
them I kept laughing to myself and wondering, "Where are we that a
person would call and request cookie to give to their friend--just
because they like someone's cooking!" I was trying to imagine anything
like that ever happening in the States, and have yet to come up with any
plausible scenario where that would be acceptable!
Kevin's last week has been a busy one. He was talked into playing in the basketball game at school where the Varsity team took on the faculty. Kevin only stayed for half of the game, as we had another commitment that night, but he still managed to be the high-scoring player on the "old folks" team! The students were quite impressed (and a little confused; several of mine kept asking questions, saying "I thought he played baseball?" and thinking that meant that he probably didn't play much basketball). Then this morning he was the guest speaker in Noah's class. They are talking about sports, and one of the other Argentinian kids in class has a dad who plays polo who came to speak earlier in the week. Kevin was asked to come in wearing his uniform from his baseball days and talk to the class of 3 and 4 year olds about his experience playing ball. Noah was quite proud, and he was really excited to wear "matching" Cardinals gear with his daddy!
When
we went to Thailand a few weeks ago, I noticed that all 3 of the boys
shoes were in terrible condition, with all of them literally having worn
through the bottoms or split seems at some point. So I found
Thailand's Wal-Mart equivalent and went shopping. Now China is known
for having terrible quality, but I'm starting to think that Thailand
maybe ought to be lumped into that same category of "shoddy work."
Hudson has had his new shoes for 2 weeks, has worn them almost daily,
but only for about 2 hours total each day (while they are at school, the
littlest kids all have special school Crocs that they wear; all guests
are also required to either wear guest slippers when they enter or else
put fabric covers over their own shoes; this ensures that the floors
which have carpet stay clean as the kids sit on the floor, and is an
excellent commentary on just how dirty the streets of China are and why
Asian culture demands shoe-removal upon entering a home). His shoes
have totally fallen apart! He dumped about a pound of sand out of his
shoes yesterday before putting them on again, the sand having been
collected through the holes in his shoes while he was playing in the
sand pit during recess. He's now begging me to find him another pair
that doesn't have quite so many holes, poor guy!
I
promise that it's not just that I'm the cheapest person in the world
that my kid can't have shoes without holes; it's just REALLY difficult
to find things here that the rest of the world considers "easy to
locate." There are lots of shoes to be found, but finding one that
doesn't have some weird fashion design, that is decent quality,
affordable (mainly due to the one-child policy I think, kids' apparel
here in China is ridiculously priced, and parents are willing to pay
it!), and doesn't require shopping in some dark alley market is rare.
It's hardly ever as simple as walking into a mall or a Super Target,
knowing the size, and getting something you can count on being able to
survive at least a few weeks of wear and tear by a kindergartner. So
you can understand my excitement--equivalent to a kid on Christmas
morning--when I found not one, but TWO pair of jeans at a newly-opened
Gap! I've mentioned before that our clothes take a beating here in
China. Not sure why, if it's the water or washing that's tougher on
them, or maybe the fact that we're riding bikes a lot and putting strain
on our seems, etc., but we seem to regularly have knees ripping out of
our pants. So my favorite jeans are all non-wearable in most settings
now, so I've been hoping to replace them somehow. I was able to find 2
pair, the same style, but 2 different sizes (one to wear with my long
underwear underneath and one for those days warm enough that they aren't
needed!), and didn't even have to pay an arm and a leg (I've found that
although I've been to a Gap store several times before while here in
China, usually the prices are almost double what they are in the US,
making it really hard to justify buying much). My ecstasy over my new
jeans has prompted many discussions between Kevin and me over how
thankful we are that we recognize how living here in China makes us
truly thankful for so many little things: jeans that don't have knees
ripped out, shoes that aren't split at the seems, the bag of pretzels I
found at the import store this week. It's neat to see the balance--the
things we feel that we sacrifice culturally (giving up my Sun afternoon
to cook when I'd rather not, making cookies for a friend of a friend,
etc.) are definitely worth the effort when we look at the many ways our
family is blessed by living as we are!
We have a new family goal in the Joseph household--a regular attitude of thanksgiving. We've determined that the secret to joy really is in being able to enjoy Him and the gifts He's given, so we're trying to practice more as a family what that looks like in our daily lives. Most of the time it's the little things: the fact that the water turned back on again this morning just in time for me to get a shower in before I had to walk out the door to go to school (one my students should be thankful for, too, especially since I didn't make it to the shower yesterday!), the sky being clear enough for 3 days in a row to see the sun, having enough blankets to bundle up and stay warm in spite of the fact that it is FREEZING in our apartment and we have no heat any longer (turns off around the country on the 15th of March), enjoying a bag of peanut butter M&M's that came in a care package...
But we're also seeing His goodness in so many of the BIG things, too. Our family is thriving--in spite of so many factors that seem so unstable so much of the time and are so out of our comfort zone. Right now, my husband is at a McDonalds' studying yet ANOTHER foreign language with his newly-found tutor. Not that he feels that he has totally mastered Mandarin in less than 4 years, but he longs to speak the heart language of some of the minority people group friends he's made; and they ain't speakin' Mandarin! I'm amazed at His grace and Kevin's faithfulness to push himself to study with the limited time he has. My kids are all at a school where they are taught Truth; Noah was able to come home and act out the entire Easter story last week (complete with the explanation of Jesus being wrapped up in toilet paper and stuck into a cage--at least he got most of the story correct!). I have the opportunity to teach a rebel group of high school sophomores the basics of English literature and composition, and I absolutely love them and the job itself--and this coming from a very content stay-at-home mom! Our friendships here have deepened to the point that we have true heart connections with our Chinese friends; not just the surface-level stuff, but true mutual-encouragement and refreshment (with the fatigue that of course comes with trying to communicate in a foreign tongue). We are getting to do what we were "made to do" in our eyes, and we are paradoxically drained and refueled all at the same time by the opportunities and the pace that we're trying to maintain. The challenge remains to respond to the tension between pushing ourselves to true dependence on Him and yet knowing our boundaries and when we are nearing the danger zone of burn-out.
The past few weeks we've started back up with the parenting study that I had led previously. I took last semester off, thinking that trying to handle that along with my teaching load might be too much both for me and for the family. But after a semester to get into the swing of things, Kevin encouraged me to jump back in. I have one other foreign friend helping me, and this time there are two other Chinese women who we are trying to help train for leadership. It's been incredible to meet with them separately each week to get feedback; their cultural insight has been invaluable to myself and the other leader in terms of helping us see things that I don't think we ever would have considered before. I will never cease to be amazed at the vast cultural differences between the Asian and the Western mindsets. It seems like our study is going remarkably well, no doubt largely due to the fact that the two Chinese women have been so honest and so influential
We also had the super-fun blessing of some of our dear friends coming back
from the States for a visit. Our first 2 years here some of our closest
friends were the Thorpe family members. They babysat for our kids and
invested in our entire family is such a special way! We have missed them
dearly the past almost-2 years they have been gone, so we were thrilled to have
them back in Tianjin this past week to play and re-visit old friends. It
made the timing of life here seem so strange, almost like we are living in a
flashback; hard to believe that we're going on 4 years of life as
ex-pats. 
