Wedding Mania

This past weekend Kevin and I actually had to split up in order to make the rounds on the wedding circuit! He took the younger two boys to one wedding and I headed across town with Karis and Eli for another. As usual, we had quite the cultural experience at both events!

The wedding Kevin, Hud, and Noah attended was supposed to be the shorter of the two. It was close in proximity to our apartment, and the ceremony was only supposed to be a max of 45 minutes. It was supposed to start at 10:48 am (Chinese weddings almost always start at a time ending in 8 due to the fact that the Chinese word for 8 sounds like the Chinese word for wealth--with the idea being that you are hoping for wealth and prosperity at the beginning of your new life together). Unfortunately, not enough guests had arrived at that time, so the wedding ended up starting much later! (In Chinese weddings, they actually have the bride wait to arrive on the scene of the wedding--usually which takes place at a restaurant--until there are enough people there to properly welcome her, which is done with LOTS of fireworks, usually displayed in a heart-shape laid out on the ground throughout the parking lot. Kevin texted me around 11:30 informing me that the boys had already eaten their weight in Sprite and wedding candy (hard candy that they have strewn all over the tables of Chinese weddings). Kevin made it out of the wedding scene unscathed without any of the kids causing too much of a scene in a negative way!

The wedding I attended with the oldest two kids and two of my friends here was more of an all-day event. We had to be at a supermarket parking lot by 7:45 (leaving our house by 7am) to wait for a bus that was coming to pick us up after picking up a load of police officers from the train station! My first teacher here has now become a police officer herself, and this was her wedding, to which she invited (and provided transportation for) her fellow police-officers. The bus was running late, but we finally made it to the Tianjin suburb where the wedding was to be held by 9:30, about an hour before the wedding was to start. Karis was the flower girl and Eli the ring-bearer, and they both did their jobs really well. They did look a little bit wide-eyed as they listened to the MC, who in Chinese weddings sounds more like a loud obnoxious game show host trying desperately to get the crowd riled up, trying to figure out when they were supposed to make their way down the aisle. Our friends getting married adore the kids, and were so sweet and excited when they came down the aisle--meeting them at the end of the stage with huge hugs and words of encouragement. One of my two favorite moments of the wedding was when the two fathers stood up to give speeches during the ceremony. After thanking the two men of honor who had come (the bosses of the bride and groom who sat in special seats right on the runway/aisle), they thanked the foreigners who had attended the wedding (that would be me, Karis, and Eli!)! I was so tickled, trying to imagine a comparable scene in the US--a situation where the father of the bride is saying thank you to the Chinese person in the room. I wanted to remind them that while I appreciated the thanks, I had come on the bus from the city center with all the other guests in attendance--not exactly making a jaunt across the ocean just for the sake of attending a Chinese wedding! Deciding this not appropriate to mention, I simply did the polite thank you and nod and Princess Diana-type wave!

My second favorite moment of the wedding was afterward when we had moved to another floor of the building for lunch. The father of the bride walked up to me confidently with his entourage following close behind him. In his hand he held a set of apparently lost car keys that he was convinced belonged to me. When I saw the keys in his hand I had to stifle a chuckle as I explained that they were definitely not mine--they were to a Mercedes Benz! I thought it ironic that he assumed that the foreigner in the place was the one with the fancy wheels, and wished he could have seen my normal mode of transportation--my electric three wheeler!

The rest of the week preceding the weddings on Saturday and then following was again, super-busy. I had invited our friends who were getting married on Saturday to come to dinner that week, and we'd decided on Thursday night. Since it was only two days before their wedding, I wasn't totally surprised when my friend asked me if she could invite several other friends over to dinner to join us as well. I WAS surprised, however, when the three girls I invited to come (in addition to the couple getting married), asked me a few days before if the dinner was actually a wedding shower! My immediate reaction was that it was not--and I confirmed that they don't do wedding showers in Chinese culture. To this they replied that they indeed do not typically have wedding showers in China, but that I was not Chinese, and they knew that we do have them in the US! Based on this, and the counsel of my wise Chinese friend, we decided it was best to deem our formerly casual dinner gathering as an official wedding shower. I had to scramble a bit to find an appropriate gift and cake, as well as flowers and a few other touches to make it more shower-like!

My other fun hostessing surprise came that same day, when I discovered that the baby shower I was hostessing for a western friend due with her first in October was not for the 6 of us that I thought it was for, but that the evite guest list actually had 18 names on it! After getting over my initial panic, I was able to pull together a Sunday afternoon shower with the help of two of my other friends. The guest list went from Americans only to Chinese friends, too--which I was of course thrilled about, but also changed the hostessing dynamic (I added more fruit to the menu, more nuts for snacking, and Chinese tea). I found it pretty hilarious at the results from the evite we sent out. Out of those invited, all of the Americans replied pretty quickly with either a yes or a no; whereas our Chinese friends all either didn't reply at all or responded with a maybe! My teacher just recently explained to me that saying no to an invitation in China is too direct, so if you say maybe, then it actually means probably not. This was obviously the case with our baby shower this weekend, as I knew there would be between 9 and 18 of us there--and there ended up being 10!

The pictures I'm including are of the different weddings (and showers!) from this past weekend. Karis also had a school performance I attended in which she was "water". Pretty cute! The other photo is of our boys' favorite past-time--beating on our guests who come over to play!!

Celebrating in Perspective

This past week we had some fun celebrating to do! We first celebrated the birthday of one of my best friends here in China, Ying Ying, with a group of our closest friends and a fancy cake! We then had Eli's 6th birthday celebration on Sept. 10th. He had a great and pretty low-key day. We have had two families come to Tianjin in the last 2 weeks (one is Jennifer and Cameron, fellow Dallas-ites, of all places!, and the other is a family from Idaho who has 3 little kids). We are thrilled to have new ex-pat friends here, and have been BUSY beyond compare in trying to help them get situated! (more on that later...) So Eli's bday morning started off with heading to the kids' international school where Karis had her first soccer practice. Her school has a 6 week long program for the elementary school kids to participate in, and since I am the "mom on duty" to help with bathroom runs, water breaks, etc., I had the other 3 boys in tow with the intention of staying and watching (while they played) during the hour. The kids ended up having an absolute ball! There were about 15 1st and 2nd graders playing--and Karis was not only the only non-Korean on the field, she was also the only girl! I was so thrilled that she didn't even seem to notice, but had a great time bouncing around kind of chasing after the ball. The coach decided that Eli and Hud could be of assistance as well, as they could use a few more for their scrimmaging, so he invited both boys to play with the older kids. The only disappointment was that Noah wasn't invited onto the field; but I'm pretty sure the coach was considering it at one point! I watched him eyeing Noah dribble the ball and kick it into the goal several times after watching the older kids, yelling loudly enough for anyone on the field to hear if anyone got too close to him! I think he was trying to figure out just how old this little fireball with a mean dribble really was :)

We then came home for lunch, and were joined by both of our new friends, their kids, and one other couple for lunch. I've gotta say--a year ago, I probably would have been pretty stressed out, but I think it's a great indicator that I've made significant progress in "life" here that I was able to throw together a lunch to feed 8 adults and 7 kids on very short notice! We were thankful to have so many friends with us to both eat lunch, sing happy birthday, eat some Batman decorated cupcakes, and cheer Eli on in his present-opening. His themes this year for gifts were science experiment stuff, building things (like Legos), sports gear, and weapons--all of his favorite things! Oh, but his definite favorite gift was one that I picked (in a moment of insanity?)--a whoppie cushion! Trust me, probably even the neighbors are aware of its presence in our house at this point. And Kevin's Chinese guy friends, who have never heard of such a thing, think it's about as great an invention as every other American guy thinks it is!!

We planned to go out that night for dinner at Papa John's, but between the rain and the excitement that we'd had all day with friends over, decided instead to order pizza in and hunker down, enjoying putting together some of the new Legos Eli had gotten as bday presents. One funny language blunder that Kevin made (that happens very rarely!), was when he was ordering the pizza. He was (of course) using Chinese, and mixed up two words that are very similar, asking for a microwave on top of his pizza rather than pineapple to go with the canadian bacon!

Lately I've been reading through the prophets in my time in the Word, and have been amazed at what all many of them were called to endure for the sake of reaching out to make His people understand. The most recent example this last week was when Ezekiel's wife was killed and He told him not to mourn. I was shocked! Poor Ezekiel! I can't imagine if the same thing was asked of me. The thought of losing my soul mate for the sake of His people gaining understanding, and then being asked to show a stiff upper lip. I KNOW this is not because we serve an uncaring or an unfeeling God. I KNOW that He causes all things to work together for good. So why then does He allow horrible things to happen--even to the extent of a life being lost? As I've pondered this over the last week, I think the answer is that our perspective is oftentimes off, and is always limited. We view life in a whole different light than He does. We live for the here and now most of the time. We might say that we believe in heaven, but most of the time we think that being taken from this world is the worst thing that could happen.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm not here to say that we should all be finding the nearest bridge to jump over. But I also know that I have a good amount of room to grow in the way I think about things that are temporal. Even birthdays. I celebrate the life of my friend, Ying Ying, and especially the life of Eli, during their birthdays. I thank Him daily for the gift that my loved ones are to me. But I also want to have the perspective of Ezekiel, who even when the most precious thing is taken from him, he is able to press on in obedience and faith, knowing that life only really begins beyond the grave...

So that has been my personal challenge this week. We've had our usual earthly frustrations--too many responsibilities, not enough time, the internet not working for days on end, a city of 12 million with way too many people driving around in cars that they have NO CLUE how to drive. And yet my goal is to look beyond this world. To be reminded that this time here is super short, and I have a choice in both how much I gripe (over those things that can just rub you the wrong way) and how much I praise (for the little things, the blessings that I have in abundance). To set my eyes on things above...

2 year Anniversary Celebration

This weekend our family celebrated two years of living in China! We decided last year that each year on our arrival date to China (Sept. 4) our family would celebrate together what we've experienced over the preceding year. So when we asked the kids how they would like to celebrate this year, we weren't too surprised when they suggested a trip to the zoo again (we went last year, and the zoo continues to be their favorite spot to frequent!). We decided to celebrate on Saturday rather than Sunday (which was technically our anniversary date) so that we could have the full day, rather than just a short window of time (Sundays always seem to fly by for us as we leave for our international fellowship at 9:30 and don't get home until around 1:30 if we grab lunch--usually at McDonalds--on our way home).

When we arrived at the zoo, I immediately foresaw a potential problem--lots of people! There were cars parked all along the street, blocks before you even got to the entrance. I gave the kids riding in the back of the three wheeler a little pep talk about the crowds and high likelihood of lots of photo opportunities, as well as a reminder of how we were called to be kind and love all those around us--and received the usual, "Yeah, yeah. Got it, Mom. We know." I was totally surprised to find out that in spite of the large number of people at the zoo, my 4 little ones weren't the main attraction at any of the exhibits we visited! The kids had a ball feeding the animals in the petting zoo area for quite some time before moving on to the hippos.

Unfortunately at the hippo exhibit, we had a little mishap. Kevin had just lifted Hudson up onto a fence-type structure when Hud lost his balance and fell forward. His face stopped his fall, as he collided with the metal poles intended to keep people out and the hippos in. We immediately saw that the gash on his eyebrow was pretty wide and seemed to be quite deep. We had a plethora of kind Chinese people rush to our aid--offering band-aids and all sorts of advice. After we got his wound cleared up and the damage assessed, Kevin and I were both pretty sure he needed stitches, so I made a call to the international clinic that is in town. Unfortunately, they have changed their policy so that they now only see members (before you could come one time without a membership)--and members, we are not! I was somehow able to talk one of the doctors into pulling some strings for us and got the receptionist to agree to let Hud in the door. Kevin (quickly!) rode him over to the clinic, and there it was determined that giving him stitches was not the best option (the wound was wide enough that giving him stitches probably would have left a worse scar). So Hud recovered quickly, got ice cream on the way home for his bravery, and now is proudly sporting a different band-aid each day on his eyebrow. No doubt he is going to have one more scar, which ironically mirrors almost perfectly the one he has had for the last 2+ years on his OTHER eyebrow--the one he has from stitches her received after jumping off of a sofa and into the edge of a coffee table! And the blows just keep on comin'...

The other 3 kids and I stayed at the zoo and finished up our afternoon for another few hours before returning home for rest time. One of my favorite moments was when the kids visited the gorilla that we have seen before and were able to get him to dance with them! We've seen before that he enjoys mimicking the people he sees on the other side of the glass, so when Eli started kicking his feet and swinging his arms, the gorilla was only too pleased to join in the fun--much to the amusement of every person standing around or passing by!

We let the kids pick the dinner menu--and were surprised that they chose jiaozi again over pizza! We then did our favorite evening past time, walking to our local market store (about a 10 minute walk) to buy ice cream (or popsicles). The last photo is in front of the market store (with a view of one of my favorite fruit vendors behind them). We all agreed, our 2nd anniversary was a fun-filled day in which we were able to recount MUCH for which we are thankful!