All in All

We're still transitioning!  A little over a month here in our new home, and while MOST of the boxes are unpacked, we've been in a routine of work and school for several weeks, and I've finally found a place that sells (dead, frozen) chicken (rather than live ones), we're still somewhat in the throes of it all (if I'm being brutally honest).  Kevin made the comment the other day that this honeymoon period of our transition time here came and went pretty quickly, and I'd have to agree!  So much still feels so foreign, and several aspects are just downright frustrating.  I never thought Duct tape would be my first choice product to use in home remodels (or repairs!), but have discovered that I am having to use the stuff all over: on the edge of my bathtub to tape the washing machine tube into the tub to drain, since our washing machine is too big to fit in the spot designed for it where the water should go into a drain in the floor (which also means that after every wash, I've got a layer a silt left in my bathtub from the filthiness of the laundry that has just been washed); in every doorway, where the metal piece that is placed in the entryway of the flooring is broken and sharp enough to cut a foot if not covered with several layers of tape to prevent this; on the molding around the floor baseboards, which are made of brown plastic, so you can imagine how well the color goes.  But I will say that I am incredibly thankful that the Duct tape not only works, but that we've been here long enough that I knew packing a huge roll of it to bring would be space in my luggage well used!  And our home improvements that we made yesterday after borrowing a friend's electric drill have me feeling very excited--Kevin put brackets into the wall to secure the kids' tall dresser in order to keep it from toppling over on them and we also were able to install a new rod into our bathroom that is curved so we have more than about 12 inches between the wall and our shower curtain within which to move around (trust me, shaving my legs in there was becoming quite a challenge).  So while I still look around occasionally and laugh at how much my standards for things like aesthetic value and style (at least in my home) have dropped in comparison to functionality, I'm thankful for the little things and it sure does help me keep perspective on what is most important.

On the days when I get frustrated by some of the challenges here (some of my more recent ones have been the constant battle against the accumulation of filth, with the need to clean my floors and dust literally every 2 or 3 days unless the dust bunnies are going to completely overtake my domain, not to mention the stress of trying to get the kids safely from one place to another in an extremely highly-populated area with very few "safe" spaces to move--like sidewalks that don't have cars on them, and the fact that I have one bathroom in our apartment and I'm REALLY tired of feeling like someone has to poop every time I'm in there [don't worry about us too much, my sister is sending some air freshener in the next care package!]), I've found it helps me to do a "count my blessings" exercise (lots of you have probably read Ann Voskamp's 1000 Gifts).  Kevin has graciously agreed to cut his work day short on Thursdays so that I can get an hour or two away from the house, so we started this new part of our routine this week.  The time out walking without worrying about anyone else did so much to refresh my soul!  As I explored more of our area that I had yet to see, I was elated to see the spring blooms of the cherry blossoms.  The photo is of one in our courtyard, with our apartment building being in view right behind.  It was a sweet reminder of His gifts of renewal and the constant motion of things, and an encouraging reminder that while this season of transition has many trials, it really is just a season that too shall change.

Inside of Kevin's office, where the boys can even play ball!

One of the songs that we chose to have in our wedding 13 years ago was "All in All."  I chose it because I not only loved the melody, but also because it was a great challenge to me personally to have my thoughts on High.  On that day, when it is natural for your eyes to be totally fixed on your groom, I wanted the reminder, and the challenge, to be that I wanted to love Him even more than I loved Kevin, knowing that as we both had that as our aim, we would naturally be drawn into deeper union with one another.  That song is somewhat outdated, but I've found that same theme repeated in so many of my favorite more contemporary songs that I love to listen to in worship.  And the call to me, the challenge, is still the same.  "Nothing on earth compares...." is hard to sing when my heart is frustrated with my longings for clean air, for green grass that we can walk on, for Tex Mex food and a good cup of coffee.  It reveals the many things that compete, and I often have to wrestle with and confess that there are lots of things that at least to some degree in my flesh vie to take His place as being truly all that I need.  So the journey continues, the one in which striving to be filled with Him and resting in Him and His abundant provision, rather than waiting for the next good thing that might come and bring some relief from the stress or some momentary pleasure...

I had to laugh at the irony this morning when I awoke.  I've been waiting for a full month to exercise, and I thought this morning was going to be "it!"  Yesterday I had a breakthrough.  For the first time, I saw a woman in our apartment complex out jogging.  Yes, truly jogging.  She had on a full sweatsuit, but her head wasn't covered, and she was most definitely jogging laps around the maze of sidewalks that wind through our community (which is probably about a mile in circumference around our gated-in section).  I've been asking around and watching out my windows each morning trying to figure out what is culturally appropriate for women exercising, especially outdoors, but haven't been able to get any solid information.  Most of the local people I've mentioned it to just say that it's weird, but don't seem opposed.  The foreign ladies I know all say they don't think it's objectionable, it's just depressing to them personally because it's so dirty and crowded that it makes it exhausting rather than refreshing.  On top of finally have a precedent for at least one other woman out exercising in the morning, we also have gotten permission from our landlord to go into the apartment next door.  We're still hoping that we can rent this small apartment from her to use as our schoolhouse, but she hasn't been able to get permission from the authorities to do so yet.  She has given us the key, however, and is now allowing us to store some of our things there till we figure out if we need them in the school house or need to give them away, and I've also just put my treadmill in there (which survived the move with only a small amount of super glue needed to make the repairs!).  Unfortunately, when we awakened this morning, our air quality index was off the charts (in the unhealthy direction) and you can hardly see one building over because the pollution is so bad.  So no outdoor running after all, and our air purifiers haven't been running in the next door apartment, leaving those levels of pollution there too high to be exercising. :(  Bummer.  But also makes me thankful that we've had SUCH clear skies for weeks, and hopefully they will resume again maybe even by tomorrow, so I can try my "experimental exercise" again early in the morning, in the hopes that I don't ostracize our community in my attempts to let off some steam by working out!

On Saturday, we had the second week of the baseball clinics that Kevin and his business partner are running.  It was so fun to see how the same kids who came the previous week returned, this time with friends who were also eager to learn about baseball in an English-speaking environment.  We actually had two turkeys on the field this week, and they weren't there this week, which made me sad (because it was so stinking hilarious to see turkeys gobbling at the kids as they did their running drills right past them) but made the coaching job a bit easier for the guys!  While I am there, I spend some of the time helping out (bringing around water to the kids, especially this week when it was about 88 degrees and HOT, and running to grab stuff as they need it), but most of the time I get to sit and visit with the other moms who are there.  It's such a diverse group--a very few westerners, lots of U women, and several Chinese.  So language and communication is pretty funny, but somehow works!  Since everyone around here speaks Chinese, that is kind of the default.  This week, the U ladies came up with an idea.  Instead of just sitting around (and wasting time, as they put it!), we should be studying togethers.  So we're planning on doing a language and culture swap, where I'll prepare some questions and topics I'd like to study in Chinese or U, and they will prepare some that they want me to discuss in English.  When it was first suggested, I'll be honest, I kind of wilted, thinking, "I sort of like 'wasting time' and just being able to relax and visit without having to be teaching my kids or having too much structure."  But after a very few minutes, I realized that this would not only take very little time to prep for, but it is also an amazing opportunity to go deeper with these women, who seem really willing to do so, and have some intentional time talking and sharing with them.  So I'm excited about next week and our first class!

My last thought before our kids emerge from their rooms and our school day begins: living in community (with unity) is hard.  Many of you reading this probably know that this past week we've been working through some tough issues with another western family who lives here.  We've been trained in group dynamics and how, especially when you're living in the pressure cooker of living cross-culturally with only a few number of other foreigners, there is a period of "storming" before you get to the "norming" stage.  And man, have we apparently caused some storms here!  There really are so few of us westerners here that every friendship is affected by our arrival.  All of a sudden, the family of the 7 year old feels left out because the neighboring 12 year old now likes to hang out with my 11 year old more than the younger girl.  And there are three 9 year old boys, which because of it being a threesome, makes it more natural for one to feel like the other two are better buddies than he is.  And what about the 8 year old?  Should he always be included with the 9 year olds, or if he's just left to hang out with the 5 year olds is he being excluded?  It's unbelievable.  And that's not even to mention the parents.  It's so easy to get territorial with your friendships when you only have a few of them, as all the other ex-pats around you live a good hour away.  Eeesh.  So we've had lots of drama this last week as we've tried to navigate relationships in a way that has everyone feeling loved and included, and man, it's not easy.  I think we're finally in a better place where we can more openly communicate and have a better understanding of personality differences, expectations, etc., but I'll also admit that especially as we're transitioning and I'm trying to figure out just where exactly I fit in (Should I be studying this second new language to work more closely alongside Kevin? Is all I do homeschool my kids and try to get a meal on the table? In this community where wives are much less opinionated than I am in general, am I offensive by being my more outspoken self when men are around? Is it okay for me to be one of the only people to be exercising in public, or will I be a total freak show if I do?), the aspect of trying to be so careful in friendships sure does add a significant amount of stress that I wish was easier to bear!  Sooooooo thankful that the kids are loving their new buddies here, and asking for grace that the storms we bring will end up in norms that bless those around us!

Restoration of all Things

Rug shopping with a friend who works for Kevin's company--the shopping was down the stairs in the underground tunnel behind us in the picture.  They make use of space here for sure!

The past two Sunday mornings have been a blessing to me amidst this transition period.  I've either heard about or discussed with friends the hope that we to look forward to--that at the end of time there will be a restoration of ALL things.  The resurrection of one Man 2000 years ago has ensured this.  And as I look around at my surroundings, and as I honestly feel the weight of loss of the comforts from "home" that I so enjoy, it refreshes my heart to know that these losses are really not so.  There will be a day that the things I feel are sacrifices--the loss of time as I struggle to accomplish simple tasks in a place where "simple" just never seems to pan out; the loss of identity as I am entering a new place where I am unknown and not yet understood by others; the loss of personal freedom as I need to dress more conservatively than I'm accustomed to and need to avert my eyes when I pass men on the road; the loss of personal time as my kids desperately need my attention as they too struggle in transition to a new place; the loss of my favorite food items that I never dreamed I would crave as much as I do; the loss of physical comfort as the water dries out my skin and my back aches daily as a result of lots of dishes being washed in a sink that is placed on a counter top too low for my American (5'7") frame; the loss of space as all 6 of us cram into our 1500 square foot apartment and struggle to share one bathroom--are redeemed and restored.  And I rejoice at the thought of that Day!

Egg hunt at a park

But even as I feel the weight of things that seem to be losses, I can't help but see little things at every turn that bring encouragement.  Besides one hairline crack in the basin, our toilet is great!  It's not gross or old, and it's western style, so more than just a whole in the ground.  We've discovered a local pizza place just around the corner from our apartment and the pizza is delicious--and relatively cheap!  We've even convinced them to let us order plain cheese pizza, even thought it's not on the menu (most of the options include lots of corn and seafood).  The Khazak yogurt is delicious and easy to find, so if I can add some fruit and granola, we have at least one quick and easy breakfast food option.  The people we have met have been incredibly kind and warm, not giving us the sense at all that we are unwelcome or threatening in any way.

In fact, Noah has found a new best friend.  While the kids were waiting in our courtyard for me to return from buying vegetables at the store right outside our apartment gate a few days ago, a local boy who is 6 came up and started play punching Noah in the face!  The boys weren't sure how to respond, and thankfully restrained themselves from returning the fake punches until I returned.  Once I showed up as translator, we were able to discuss just exactly what we were trying to accomplish with the fake punches to the face, talk about the risk of a misplaced fake punch, and agree to continue to wrestling match in the grass.  An hour later, Noah had a friend for life.  I figure they speak the same love language--wrestling.  The boys have played together the last few days, and this little guy has stolen my heart, I must confess.  He's around a lot, as he doesn't go to school, so we have a ready playmate whenever we finish our school day and can escape outside with the soccer ball.

The haircut place we discovered for the boys.

Our excitement this week was when one wall of our kitchen was covered in about 2 feet of flames.  We didn't have a stovetop when we moved in, so after purchasing one, it was finally delivered and installed this past week.  Evidently the guy installing it wasn't the most adept at his job, and didn't connect the gas hose very securely.  While I was boiling potatoes on the stove, the gas tube came off and the whole area ignited.  Kevin and I were standing right outside the kitchen in the breakfast room area and heard a boom.  We both flew to the kitchen, planning to look out the window where we feared an explosion had taken place outside in our complex somewhere, when instead we saw the flames.  Kevin has super quick reactions and was able to turn off the emergency valve for the gas, and the flames died down pretty quickly after that (but it seemed like minutes).  Would you believe that nothing was damaged or destroyed, only the tile on the wall was charred.  Kevin went to the local hardware store where he's struck up a friendship with the owner, and before we knew it, a "repairman" came to our door with a new tube and a better attachment to switch out with the old one.  And we had mashed potatoes to go with our chicken on the dinner table, only about 30 minutes after I'd planned on eating anyway!  Thankful for the hedge of protection that is obviously around us...

And thankful for getting to walk so much!  We are usually all wiped out by the end of the day, as just getting out on a small errand means that we're regularly walking MUCH further than what was considered the Dallas "normal."  While I was making a trip to the local import store (haha, it's actually more of a closet!), Kevin had to go to an office with the kids.  He gave them the option of either taking a taxi, or letting the 4 kids split the 10 kuai (about $1.50) amongst the 4 of them to add to their allowance.  They picked the money.  I'm not sure if they realize the exchange rate means that they endured a 20 minute walk for a mere $.40, and I'm not sure if we should feel guilty over possibly taking advantage of that naivety???!  While we were out exploring this weekend, we found this chicken place.  I've been asking Kevin to keep his eye out for rotisserie chickens somewhere; we used to get them a lot at one specific place in our old city and it was one of the few quick, healthy meal options I came up with.  So Kevin found this place instead; no rotisserie chickens, but for only 18 kuai ($3), you can pick your chicken and have it butchered and cleaned right in front of you.  Karis strongly requested that we wait until she was NOT present before we became customers of this establishment, but with how difficult it's been to find fresh chicken, we might be trying it out before long....

A Soft Landing!

Karis at Tianjin International School with former classmates

View from my kitchen window in our new city

We’re finally getting settled in!  Now I say that with my living room literally so filled with boxes that I had to climb over a few to get to the table where my computer was plugged in, but generally speaking, things are looking good around here!  And believe it or not, we’re actually in the apartment that friends connected us with before we even arrived, which is no small thing, believe me.  So here’s a summary of our last two weeks….

Karis and Hud horsing around at Trash Mountain

We arrived in Tianjin (our former city) to an incredibly warm welcome from the kids’ friends and ours.  We had amazingly gracious hospitality, as friends moved out of their apartment to give us a place to stay and to recover from the jet lag and helped us by providing food and an incredibly full schedule of running from one place to the next to visit friends.  Thankfully our car was still there, so it made transportation much easier (once Kevin found the car in the underground labyrinth of a parking garage where we’d left it 8 months ago, changed the dead battery, and figured out how to pay for the previous two months of garage rent that we’d missed).  [Now getting the car shipped out to where we are currently is a whole other story…  We’ve started the process, but it’s going to be long and quite involved.  And it still might end up not happening. L  So far we’re working on getting all the required documents in our new city and then we’ll mail them back to Tianjin where a friend will take them and our car to the DMV where they will hopefully receive our registration being returned, then the car will get shipped here to us to try to start the paperwork on this end.  Lots of steps in the process, so in the meantime we’re getting lots of steps by walking!  And we’ve figured out that there are some taxis who are willing to take a family of 6 in one car.  However my kids have grown in the last 9 months, so having all 4 and myself piled in the back of a taxi makes for some close moments….]

Kevin spent about 4 days in Tianjin, which was almost enough time to make the rounds!  It was sweet to see his reunion with the high school students he used to teach.  They had voted recently on who the senior graduation speaker should be this June when the class that we bonded with so much over the past two years would walk the state, and we were told by the principal that it was almost unanimous that it should be Mr. Joseph!  Which I found quite humorous considering that we’d told both the students and the staff that we wouldn’t be coming back for graduation.  They changed our minds!  Between their powers of persuasion and them offering to pay for Kevin’s plane ticket, we’ve decided that Kevin will take that weekend to go back and have good closure with this group of young people that meant so much to us (who are mainly returning to Korea for college).

Boys playing amidst some of the boxes in our new home

Kids atop Trash Mountain

The kids got to spend one full day, one additional half-day, and two lunches at school with their friends, so their tanks were full.  They came into their school hallways greeted by screams and squeal of delight from their buddies.  Karis had a stack of letters that her former classmates had all prepared, and I had my hands full trying to explain to all the sweet Korean moms that we hadn’t actually returned to the school for good, but were just visiting as we passed through town.  It is so comforting to have a place that feels like home even on this side of the ocean, especially as we embark on this new adventure that involves kind of starting over with a new language, culture, and city.

Some of my favorite cross-cultural adjustment moments during our first week here include:

Karis outside some beautiful, but fake, landscaping!

• ·      Being told I was “pang le” since we’d left (I’ve gotten fatter!); luckily this was only said by one Chinese friend, which makes me think there’s not TOO much truth to it, but this is actually considered polite in Chinese culture; if I had gained weight and a friend HADN’T noticed and mentioned it, it would be considered rude!
• ·      Being fussed at for my jacket being too thin (so probably not warm enough); and this was when it was about 60 or 65 degrees outside; I didn’t bother to explain that it was Columbia’s new Omni-Heat technology that was actually both light weight and incredibly insulating, but just smiled and acknowledged the suggestion to wear more clothing
• ·      The parking guy telling me that my Chinese is bad (I thought about asking him if he preferred using my native tongue of English instead, but quickly was convicted that my heart would probably not have been in the best place to make that suggestion in love!)
• ·      Standing on center stage when I am out with my kids; we stopped at a park bench to grab a snack one day while we were out on our adventures and within about 2 minutes we were surrounded by Chinese grandparents out with their little toddlers they are the caretakers of, gawking at the foreign blonde kids and commenting on everything we were doing and wearing, leaving the kids and myself all slightly unnerved and ready to continue on our way as quickly as we could

With Lief at the restaurant 

• ·      The haze that blocks the sun MOST days, except, PTL, our first full day in Tianjin!  It was a glorious blue-sky day, and we took it as a warm welcome back to this land of such diversity (including the weather!)
• ·      The hospitality; Kevin’s best friend from baseball and his wife invited us to dinner one night and went so far beyond what we consider “normal” that I’m still astounded; even though we have a car and a somewhat-working GPS, Leif drove 45 min to come and get us  (in his small sports car! Not really designed for 7 passengers…) and bring us to his home where he and his wife had prepared a feast, gone to Ikea to get kids’ plates that would be sturdy enough for the kids to eat off of (rather than using the paper plates that we used), and even had us come to a super fancy restaurant to pick out MORE food to make sure that there was enough that everyone liked; he then drove us back home at the end of the evening (so he spent 3 hours in the car total!); they were so sweet and admittedly nervous about having us over to their home for a meal (which is funny because they regularly came to ours before we moved???), and we found that we were the first guests besides their parents to come over for dinner since they got married last August; we’ve found with our Chinese friends that it is really rare for people to open their homes even to their closest friends

Kids with Ayi

• ·      Walking; we do it A LOT!  My Fit Bit is tracking all new highs as it tries to keep up with my legs!

One of the biggest highlights of our time in Tianjin was getting to meet with our former house helper, Ayi.  We spent the afternoon with her, playing chase with her outside, catching up on her family, and having her take the kids to get ice cream.  It was so sweet to see her reunion with the kids, and we’ll plan on keeping up with her and seeing her again on our next return visit to TJ.  After the 4 days with Kevin in town, he took off to head west to see what he could get set up for the family before we arrived, and the kids and I had another 6 days of meeting with other dear friends and visiting all our favorite old hang-outs.  One of my favorite moments was when we were climbing up Trash Mountain, just the 4 kids and myself, tired after walking about 45 minutes just to get there, the trees all still dead-looking from winter and the ground muddy and poop-ridden, and Karis exhaling a deep sigh with the words, “I just love being back in China!”

Hud showing off how dirty our hands get playing outside!

So while the kids and I were playing in TJ, Kevin was enduring the stressful end of things on our behalf out west.  He had a long trek just to get here (the direct, four-hour flight he was hoping for was canceled, so instead it took him about 7 hours with a stop in between), and when he arrived, he didn’t have a hotel (they wouldn’t let him book a room when he called in advance; still not sure why???).  He managed to get on the flight with 3 bags, but that almost didn’t happen, as the airline didn’t want him flying with more than his 1 allotted bag, even if he was willing to pay the overage fees.  He arrived, did get to check in at a hotel, and met with the landlord the next day to sign the lease on the apartment that friends had connected us to a month ago.  He was amazed how smooth everything was going until he went to the prescribed office the following day to start the paperwork on the lease, only to discover that there was a brand new rule that prevented foreigners from moving into this whole district, which includes about half of the city!  To make a long story short, we’ve been in limbo for a full week, not knowing if we could actually stay in this apartment or not, until about 2 days ago.  And all this with our HUGE shipment of furniture and everything else (including myself and the kids) arriving to our “maybe” apartment.  So we’ve been hesitant to go crazy with the unpacking, not knowing if we would need to return everything to its box and start over.  By PTL, thanks to the thoughts of many on our behalf I’m sure, we have the required paperwork (somehow!) to remain here!  We’re not done yet, as we still have quite a few things that are required of us to do and to submit, but we’re well on the road to nesting in our new home—which is great, but feels tight as we’re going from about 1900 square feet in our previous apartment down to less than 1600.  I’m thinking I should have left behind a few pieces of furniture at this point….

My new bathroom

Not totally surprisingly, our apartment’s one bathroom has proven to be a bit problematic.  We’re not used to sharing one bathroom, so it’s make taking turns, remembering to make your way to the restroom BEFORE the very last minute, and aiming where you pee (more for the boys than the girls) that much more crucial!  We discovered by Eli getting shocked when he was washing his hands that there was a problem with electricity being in our water!  I know, didn’t know that was even possible.  But apparently when I plugged in both the washing machine and the hot water heater into the same socket, it electrified the water current than ran through the faucet.  The electrician was able to correct the problem (somehow???) after spending a few hours at our apartment, and we will not have a really long extension cord for the washing machine running out of the bathroom in order to plug it in elsewhere.  I also found a HUGE jug of water in our very small bathroom upon our arrival, which I explained to Kevin “just had to go.”  And then I talked with our neighbors, who shared their story of being out of water in the apartment for a full two weeks last summer, making showering, washing hands, and flushing the toilet impossible without a huge storage of extra water.  Sigh.  Guess my usable bathroom space just diminished a bit!  Think I’m going to be taking my creativity in “creating space” to a whole new level….

Kids exploring one of their favorite old play places

My unpacking was on hold yesterday as our morning was spent with Kevin and me doing a health check that is required at a facility across town.  We discovered that I am NOT pregnant (haha!), that I do have all my required organs, and that my kids can be remarkably patient even in those crazy situations, especially if they have an iPad or two to share and the promise of a special drink as a reward to look forward to!  We waited on the front steps of the building for half an hour before the place opened and actually decided to embrace the stares of the others there lingering, turning on music on my phone and having a sing-along to one of the Annie songs and then to Katy Perry’s “Roar” (I know, I know; nice standards; but it’s Noah’s favorite and REALLY cute to hear him belt out the chorus). 

Sharing a meal with our favorite TJ friends

So overall, we’re acclimating to, yet again, our “new normal.”  Kevin and I feel the tension (I awakened at 2:45am this morning with my mind racing and thus the extended length of this post!  Couldn’t quite shut off the mind to fall back asleep…) and are trying to allow the joy of Him to be our strength, laughing and trying to make some fun memories as a family in the midst of boxes, uncertainty, and a lot of running around.  I feel overwhelmed with the language barrier; not only has my Chinese gotten worse since our departure (noticeably, but not horribly; I was encouraged that I was able to finally do enough charades with the airline attendant at the gate when we were boarding the plane to fly out west to get Eli’s guitar checked there, on the flight with us, and even find it when we arrived at the airport out west), but we are living in an area that I am really hesitant to use my Mandarin for fear of offending other non-Mandarin speakers.  Yesterday I managed to buy two pieces of nan bread simply by pointing and holding up fingers to indicate how many pieces and determine how much it should cost.  Eesh.  Not sure when my new language study will begin, but man am I thankful for a husband who can do enough already in this new language to at least get people around us smiling and laughing as he practices his vocabulary!  I’m also super thankful for the friends we have here and for the relationships that we started this past summer when we came for a week.  Karis got to go to a girls’ craft time yesterday with a group of about 6 other American girls that will continue to meet weekly and she LOVED it!  We couldn’t get her to stop talking about it the whole walk home.  And Eli met with 2 other guys his age to do a short ch history class, which he also loved and stayed up in his bed reading last night to get prepared for next weeks’ lesson.  We have a birthday party to attend this afternoon with a group of kids and their families, so our kids are already not lacking for people to connect with.  I’m a little sad to say that only Hudson seems to be the one in the family (yet again, as was the situation in Tianjin) who doesn’t have an obvious “buddy” who is his age and gender and close by.  Still hoping for that for him…

Lounging with the friends whose house we stayed in for a week

Eli with new friends checking out the small amount of snow still left on the ground

Oh, and last comment regarding the weather.  Besides the first day we arrived (which was rainy and chilly and generally unpleasant), it’s been really nice outside.  We’ve had temperatures in the 50s and even 60s, some sunny sky days, and a view of the mountains when it’s clear enough to get us excited about summer and some outdoor exploring around the area.  Now I did just check the weather forecast to see that we’ve got a drop in the temp and even snow predicted for several days starting on Tuesday, so I might need to keep digging in our unpacked bags until I find our snowboots!

11 Days Till Blastoff!

Eli and I at his first Aggie football game.  Whoop!

I can't believe how fast the time goes.  It CAN'T be possible that 12 days from now we'll be seated on an airplane, heading back to our home in the East.  These past 8 months here in the States have truly flown by, and we are currently in the throes of full-scale preparation to head out again.  Four of the 12 large suitcases are packed, as well as the kids' carry-ons!  Poor Noah (who is still 5), keeps checking to see where we're spending the night--are we back in China?  Having a sleepover at our cousins so Mom can get more stuff done?  Still in our Dallas apartment?  Visiting G-Ma and G-Pa in Florida?  I'm trying to give extra grace to his more demanding personality these last few days as I'm pretty sure it's more due to his confusion and sensing the state of being "unsettled" once again than it is to any major change in his personality!

Eli, Kevin and Karis at the Duroc Ranch.

I thought I'd just go ahead and use this post both to answer some of the most commonly asked questions I've been getting as of late (assuming that others might have the same thoughts!), as well as my space to process a little for myself about our impending move....

Thanksgiving with Nana and Papa at the Turkey Trot.

Boys' favorite toy is the US? Legos!

Are we ready to go back?  Yes, in most ways, we really are.  Kevin and I feel really excited about this next chapter--a new city, a new home, a new language to learn (okay, so maybe I'm not really excited about that part!).  We have so many question marks about how this is going to work and what the heck we are doing in this part of the world that we feel there just HAS to be a cool story in the making--and we get to be a part of it!  Scary on some days, but certainly exciting to think that we are just players on the world stage, and hopefully ones that can truly make a difference by bringing the hope that we carry within us.  If you ask the kids, they will probably start crying (Karis) and say that they don't want to leave America (and their cousins and Chick-fil-A).  But within that same hour, they will be packing their bags and also beaming as I email their former teachers and classmates to set up a "surprise lunch" at their old school in the eastern part of the country where we'll stop to visit friends when we first arrive back in the country (in less than 2 weeks!).  So they are certainly torn.  There is no doubt that it is HARD to go--in every way.  The people.  The freedom they have here (like to run around outside in yards of friends and cousins).  Lil' Ninjas and Pump It Up (basically huge exercise gyms for kids to play or bounce).  Lucky Charms (Hudson eats for breakfast almost every meal), pepperoni pizza, and bacon (we're moving to a place where we can't have pork at all in order to be seen as "clean").  A fireplace (the apartment we've been in the last 4 months has one that you just turn on with a flip of a light switch, and we've had our fill of s'mores.  Papa's farm out in East Texas, where the kids have had shooting lessons from my well-trained big brother and learned how to use an axe and a saw to cut down trees and build their own fort.  Thrilling Thursdays with Nana (when my mom watches the kids while I go to a study with other women).  Visiting G-Ma and G-Pa at the beach in Florida and eating G-Pa's famous steak.  Carrying around their 7 younger cousins (all boys!) who live here in Dallas and convincing them of creative pretend games they should be playing--usually involving animals and kings.  Chuy's and their all you can eat chips and queso bar during happy hour.  But as much as these are things they will miss, we're trusting that the things that we will receive in blessing WILL be one hundred fold.  Even though it might not FEEL like it, especially at first as we're grieving all the loss that is so raw....

I did a really helpful exercise one time while in China several years ago during one of my "down" days.  I took a long time to write out all the things I felt that our family had given up by moving to China.  Then on the next page I started a list of the benefits, the things I felt we'd gained by our lifestyle and by living where we do.  I was honestly shocked that the list of the benefits was not only filled with more "weighty" concepts than Chick-fil-A and queso that were on our list of things we'd given up, but the list was even longer in length.  The Provision we've experienced is truly unlike anything I can describe (or ask for or imagine!), and I'll be honest that I keep reminding myself of that truth as we move forward in these finals weeks here before our next return.

Has being here longer made it more difficult to return?  Surprisingly, no.  I would say that the affirmation that both Kevin and I have about where we are going and what we are doing has had an even longer time of being renewed, largely because we HAVE been here longer.  We've been refreshed!  Our time with old friends, with our families, with having a break of the intensity of just surviving in a foreign country, has been a more needed break than I ever realized.  I would say it took 4 months before I noticed a real change in my emotional state.  I was finally able to let down and relax; the knot of anxiety that seemed to stay tied up in my stomach loosened so that I was able to feel a sense of peace that I hadn't known in some time.  I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that.  I know that I am to be anxious in nothing, but the reality for me is that where we live does have an impact on me on an emotional level.  I don't think it's at an unhealthy point at all, but it's to a degree that it's really a challenge to feel completely relaxed and safe all the time.  I'm hoping this is an area of growth in my life that is getting worked on--and no doubt will have many opportunities to do so with this new place we're heading!  Kevin has been working with his real estate boss that he worked for before we moved to China 5 1/2 years ago, and has LOVED being back in a more traditional job environment.  He's been so blessed not only by the time at the office with his co-workers, but also by having a normal routine with structure and strategic goal-setting.  He's hard-wired to thrive in that sort of environment, and has worked hard to create it in China, but it's honestly just not easy to come by that sort of set-up in living overseas.  The unpredictable is much more the norm, and it's easy to have to scramble to survive rather than be focused on one goal that a team of people are all working toward with measurable progress.  He's currently looking for ways to implement some of these aspects of structure and strategic planning that he's been using in real estate into his job in China (a sports company that uses sports to also teach English, mainly to youth) and everyday life.

The Arboretum with G-Ma and G-Pa in town to visit.

What does the packing process look like for us as we prepare to return?  Lots of vitamins, toothpaste, and a few bags of chocolate chips!  I just made a run to Sams and Walmart where I spent about $850 in one day!  People ask how we budget for this.  That's it exactly--we budget for it!  Since we don't spend money on pretty much anything except food and housing while we're in Asia, it makes it easier on the budget to get it all in one fell swoop when we're back.  But man do I get some funny looks from the cashier when I check out with so many of the same products!  I thought to take a photo of my Walmart basket when I was there, but not until I'd already unloaded half the contents onto the belt at the check out line, and at that point the shopping trip had been such an exhausting even that I didn't have it in me to take them back out and put them in the basket to get the full effect!  So what are some of the items on the list?  Deodorant, Vitamin D (we don't get enough from the lack of sunlight due to pollution and climate where we live), shave gel (they just don't use it there), dryer sheets (I'm one of the few who own a dryer that was passed on to me by another foreigner, so there certainly aren't dryer sheets!), Scotchbrite scrub heads that go with those wand-style scrub brushes (my kids just discovered those, as opposed to regular rectangular sponges that they are used to using when we wash dishes--no dish washers where we are!), and favorite seasonings that you can't find there (like Lowry's seasoning salt, cloves, and brown gravy mix).  Some of the random items we've purchased?  Running shoes for everyone that are a size or two too big (you can't find good quality ones anywhere in Asia that I've found!  I know, they're all made there, but they seem to export all the good stuff and then charge a HUGE increase in price to bring them back in.  No Nikes that I've seen for under $140.), a full-spectrum light (which provides fake sunlight to trick our body to think we're getting more sunlight than we are, helping provide lots of health and emotional benefits which is really needed where we're going, also known as the depression capital of that part of the world), a mattress cover (we shipped over our US mattress 5 1/2 years ago when we moved there, but since US queen-sized mattresses are not the same dimensions as Chinese ones, that means we have to purchase any bedding here rather than there!), and my new bike (we've been amazed how much consistent exercise helps both Kevin and me while we are under high-stress conditions in China; so Kevin got me a fun bike on eBay for Christmas and we'll get a bike trainer once we're there so we can ride in our apartment as part of our exercise regiment; we're hoping to have both of us compete [and maybe Eli, who is 9 and really wants to do so as well!] in 2 triathlons this season once we arrive in China!).  We bought tickets to go back that allow each passenger 2 fifty pound bags, plus a 20 pound carry-on.  So we have 720 lbs. of luggage for the 6 of us--and we'll use every single pound of it!  The 4 bags that are packed are at 49.6 pounds each according to my luggage scale.  (I try to leave about half a pound of wiggle room just in case the scale at the ticket counter is different from mine and the agent checking us in is grouchy.  Who wants to get stuck with 12 bags being considered overweight and paying for that when they're like half a pound heavier than they should be?!)  Unfortunately this time since I'm bringing over 100 lbs of homeschooling books, I'll have to cut back on our chocolate chips and other optional items, but so far it looks like we're going to make it in getting over all our necessities (and least the ones we can think of right now!) that will help us make it through the next 21 months until our return back to the US again.  (At this point, we're planning on our next trip to the US being Christmas of 2016.)  And I'll be honest yet again--Mommy is probably NOT the nicest person to be around during this packing-up process.  I get so frustrated with any extra clutter as I try to go through and organize every single thing in our possession, prioritizing what is a necessity and what we can leave behind, that I did find myself barking at my kids yesterday:  "Who's candy is this on the table?"  When I didn't get a response quickly enough, my next bark was: "You've got 15 seconds to claim this candy, then it's going to the trash!"  I did miraculously find the answer to who the candy belonged to and it was replaced in the candy bag in the pantry where it should have been!

Some of the cousins (including newborn Max!) in a pyramid!

What will it be like initially when we land in China?  Our family flies into Beijing, then has a driver that will come and pick us (and our 720 pounds of stuff!) up in a large van (or maybe even a bus!).  We'll drive the 3 hours to the city where we used to live, and we have 2 single girlfriends who have offered to vacate their 3-bedroom apartment for us to occupy while we get over jetlag.  We'll go to our old international school, visit friends and our former students, and probably be running crazy trying to get some paperwork taken care of for our car registration.  The minivan that we've owned for the last 2 1/2 years is posing a bit of a problem.  We've found that there is no national system in China for transferring your car registration from one city to another.  You're supposed to take your person and your vehicle back to the city it was purchased from annually to renew your registration.  This would be fine, except that the city we're moving to is about a 4-day drive away.  And we're not sure what you do about hotels, eating, etc along the way.  So the bottom line is that we need to get the car registered in the city where we're going.  But to do so, we have to turn in our license plate and hand over our registration in the city we WERE in, and then just hope that they'll allow us to register our vehicle where we're going.  We could end up with a car that has no plates and no registration, and therefore probably couldn't be re-sold very easily!  So you can imagine that we're doing lots of lifting up this topic in hopes that it goes smoothly and we're just simply able to get new plates and new registration where we're going.  Oh the depth of the dependence on ALL the little things!!!  Kevin will head out west after about 4 days in our old city and get our family registered to be there with the local police (we already have visas, but you need other documentation in order to be a resident and do things like sign a lease agreement) and the kids and I will stay in our old city for another 6 days so we can have more time visiting with old friends and giving him time to hopefully sign an official lease on our apartment (we already have one!  Amazingly!!  another American family had to leave at the end of Jan to come back to the US for medical reasons, and they contacted us about taking over their apartment; so we have an almost 1600 sq. ft., 4 bedroom, 1 bathroom (yikes!), apartment that looks great from the photos we've seen) and have the movers deliver our belongings.  When we left last summer, we hired a moving company to pack up all of our stuff and hold it in storage to be delivered when we gave them the arrival date.  We've run into our fair share of conflict in the process (they told us it was going to cost significantly more recently because we are so close to Chinese New Year--the holiday lasts 2 weeks, and we're asking for our things to be delivered 5 weeks after the holiday; so I certainly had some push back as to how anyone could justify overtime pay 5 weeks after a holiday due to it being too much to ask around such a sacred event!  And then we were contacted last week for the company to tell us that our apartment community we're going to doesn't allow trucks to come in to the gated portion to get the furniture up to the door.  Their suggestion was that they instead find a local storage facility and just drop our stuff off there, and we could figure out another way to get it all the way into our apartment from there!  And this is after we've paid for a door-to-door move, as specified very clearly on our contract!  Again, we clearly communicated that this was not an option, and I think we're at a point of understanding that we need our things IN our apartment, but there's part of me that is envisioning all our belongings sitting on the side of the road somewhere after the movers have gotten frustrated with the process and just given up.  Kevin thinks that it has more to do with the moving company being freaked out by the community we're moving into than anything else.  It's pretty much all minority people, which are generally feared by the Chinese majority (who would be our moving company folks) and seen as violent thieves.  Pretty sad to be experiencing the discrimination of these people, and yet I have a feeling it's only the starting point of how our hearts our going to be broken in empathy for a people who have to endure so much hostility from others...

Karis and cousin Andrew at the farm.

After the furniture arrives (hopefully!), the unpacking process begins, as well as trying to figure out where to buy our essential items and how to maneuver around a very populated urban city (population of about 4 million and we are pretty much in the town center, so not a lot of sidewalks or kid-friendly areas, unfortunately).  We have 2 families that we've gotten to know pretty well over the last year (one of which is Kevin's business partner for the sports company), who both have 4 kids, living within about a 15 minute walk of where our new apartment will be.  This should be a huge blessing to our families and we're excited to see what happens with these new friendships!  The kids are genuinely looking forward to spending time with their new friends (who they met when our family went out west last June before we returned to the US).  This is such a praise for this Mama's heart!  As much as they are sad about leaving, to have things they can get excited about returning to is so reassuring to see His provision for our every need!

More cousin memories at the Duroc Ranch.

Cousin Levi getting a free ride from Eli.

The kids pointing out Kevin's name on the wall at Rice U.

And speaking of every need, I should go get breakfast ready for my crew.  I'm anticipating these next 11 days to be ones of not great sleep for me, leading too good early morning times of stillness as my heart and emotions are a bit in turmoil with all the goodbyes here and the anticipation of the next step in this journey.  Again, I hate to admit it, but my sleep seems to be the thing that is affected the most as my mind races with the thoughts of: Have I ordered enough vitamins to cover us for 21 months?  How am I possibly going to communicate to buy fruit when I still don't even have the basic vocabulary needed to do so?  How much will my precious nephews have changed when I see them next?  Will they remember their cousins and the sweet bonds that have developed over these past months or will we have to start over when we return?  In the midst of sooooo many questions, and even fears that arise, I've CLUNG to Is. 55 that speaks of His thoughts NOT being my thoughts and His ways NOT being my ways, but that they are higher than mine, even higher than the heavens are above the earth.  And He promises that we can go out in joy and be led forth in peace, with the hope of great things that He has ordained to come;








and so we go (really soon!!!)...