 |
| Eli and I at his first Aggie football game. Whoop! |
I can't believe how fast the time goes. It CAN'T be possible that 12 days from now we'll be seated on an airplane, heading back to our home in the East. These past 8 months here in the States have truly flown by, and we are currently in the throes of full-scale preparation to head out again. Four of the 12 large suitcases are packed, as well as the kids' carry-ons! Poor Noah (who is still 5), keeps checking to see where we're spending the night--are we back in China? Having a sleepover at our cousins so Mom can get more stuff done? Still in our Dallas apartment? Visiting G-Ma and G-Pa in Florida? I'm trying to give extra grace to his more demanding personality these last few days as I'm pretty sure it's more due to his confusion and sensing the state of being "unsettled" once again than it is to any major change in his personality!
 |
| Eli, Kevin and Karis at the Duroc Ranch. |
I thought I'd just go ahead and use this post both to answer some of the most commonly asked questions I've been getting as of late (assuming that others might have the same thoughts!), as well as my space to process a little for myself about our impending move....
 |
| Thanksgiving with Nana and Papa at the Turkey Trot. |
 |
| Boys' favorite toy is the US? Legos! |
Are we ready to go back? Yes, in most ways, we really are. Kevin and I feel really excited about this next chapter--a new city, a new home, a new language to learn (okay, so maybe I'm not really excited about that part!). We have so many question marks about how this is going to work and what the heck we are doing in this part of the world that we feel there just HAS to be a cool story in the making--and we get to be a part of it! Scary on some days, but certainly exciting to think that we are just players on the world stage, and hopefully ones that can truly make a difference by bringing the hope that we carry within us. If you ask the kids, they will probably start crying (Karis) and say that they don't want to leave America (and their cousins and Chick-fil-A). But within that same hour, they will be packing their bags and also beaming as I email their former teachers and classmates to set up a "surprise lunch" at their old school in the eastern part of the country where we'll stop to visit friends when we first arrive back in the country (in less than 2 weeks!). So they are certainly torn. There is no doubt that it is HARD to go--in every way. The people. The freedom they have here (like to run around outside in yards of friends and cousins). Lil' Ninjas and Pump It Up (basically huge exercise gyms for kids to play or bounce). Lucky Charms (Hudson eats for breakfast almost every meal), pepperoni pizza, and bacon (we're moving to a place where we can't have pork at all in order to be seen as "clean"). A fireplace (the apartment we've been in the last 4 months has one that you just turn on with a flip of a light switch, and we've had our fill of s'mores. Papa's farm out in East Texas, where the kids have had shooting lessons from my well-trained big brother and learned how to use an axe and a saw to cut down trees and build their own fort. Thrilling Thursdays with Nana (when my mom watches the kids while I go to a study with other women). Visiting G-Ma and G-Pa at the beach in Florida and eating G-Pa's famous steak. Carrying around their 7 younger cousins (all boys!) who live here in Dallas and convincing them of creative pretend games they should be playing--usually involving animals and kings. Chuy's and their all you can eat chips and queso bar during happy hour. But as much as these are things they will miss, we're trusting that the things that we will receive in blessing WILL be one hundred fold. Even though it might not FEEL like it, especially at first as we're grieving all the loss that is so raw....
I did a really helpful exercise one time while in China several years ago during one of my "down" days. I took a long time to write out all the things I felt that our family had given up by moving to China. Then on the next page I started a list of the benefits, the things I felt we'd gained by our lifestyle and by living where we do. I was honestly shocked that the list of the benefits was not only filled with more "weighty" concepts than Chick-fil-A and queso that were on our list of things we'd given up, but the list was even longer in length. The Provision we've experienced is truly unlike anything I can describe (or ask for or imagine!), and I'll be honest that I keep reminding myself of that truth as we move forward in these finals weeks here before our next return.
Has being here longer made it more difficult to return? Surprisingly, no. I would say that the affirmation that both Kevin and I have about where we are going and what we are doing has had an even longer time of being renewed, largely because we HAVE been here longer. We've been refreshed! Our time with old friends, with our families, with having a break of the intensity of just surviving in a foreign country, has been a more needed break than I ever realized. I would say it took 4 months before I noticed a real change in my emotional state. I was finally able to let down and relax; the knot of anxiety that seemed to stay tied up in my stomach loosened so that I was able to feel a sense of peace that I hadn't known in some time. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that. I know that I am to be anxious in nothing, but the reality for me is that where we live does have an impact on me on an emotional level. I don't think it's at an unhealthy point at all, but it's to a degree that it's really a challenge to feel completely relaxed and safe all the time. I'm hoping this is an area of growth in my life that is getting worked on--and no doubt will have many opportunities to do so with this new place we're heading! Kevin has been working with his real estate boss that he worked for before we moved to China 5 1/2 years ago, and has LOVED being back in a more traditional job environment. He's been so blessed not only by the time at the office with his co-workers, but also by having a normal routine with structure and strategic goal-setting. He's hard-wired to thrive in that sort of environment, and has worked hard to create it in China, but it's honestly just not easy to come by that sort of set-up in living overseas. The unpredictable is much more the norm, and it's easy to have to scramble to survive rather than be focused on one goal that a team of people are all working toward with measurable progress. He's currently looking for ways to implement some of these aspects of structure and strategic planning that he's been using in real estate into his job in China (a sports company that uses sports to also teach English, mainly to youth) and everyday life.
 |
| The Arboretum with G-Ma and G-Pa in town to visit. |
What does the packing process look like for us as we prepare to return? Lots of vitamins, toothpaste, and a few bags of chocolate chips! I just made a run to Sams and Walmart where I spent about $850 in one day! People ask how we budget for this. That's it exactly--we budget for it! Since we don't spend money on pretty much anything except food and housing while we're in Asia, it makes it easier on the budget to get it all in one fell swoop when we're back. But man do I get some funny looks from the cashier when I check out with so many of the same products! I thought to take a photo of my Walmart basket when I was there, but not until I'd already unloaded half the contents onto the belt at the check out line, and at that point the shopping trip had been such an exhausting even that I didn't have it in me to take them back out and put them in the basket to get the full effect! So what are some of the items on the list? Deodorant, Vitamin D (we don't get enough from the lack of sunlight due to pollution and climate where we live), shave gel (they just don't use it there), dryer sheets (I'm one of the few who own a dryer that was passed on to me by another foreigner, so there certainly aren't dryer sheets!), Scotchbrite scrub heads that go with those wand-style scrub brushes (my kids just discovered those, as opposed to regular rectangular sponges that they are used to using when we wash dishes--no dish washers where we are!), and favorite seasonings that you can't find there (like Lowry's seasoning salt, cloves, and brown gravy mix). Some of the random items we've purchased? Running shoes for everyone that are a size or two too big (you can't find good quality ones anywhere in Asia that I've found! I know, they're all made there, but they seem to export all the good stuff and then charge a HUGE increase in price to bring them back in. No Nikes that I've seen for under $140.), a full-spectrum light (which provides fake sunlight to trick our body to think we're getting more sunlight than we are, helping provide lots of health and emotional benefits which is really needed where we're going, also known as the depression capital of that part of the world), a mattress cover (we shipped over our US mattress 5 1/2 years ago when we moved there, but since US queen-sized mattresses are not the same dimensions as Chinese ones, that means we have to purchase any bedding here rather than there!), and my new bike (we've been amazed how much consistent exercise helps both Kevin and me while we are under high-stress conditions in China; so Kevin got me a fun bike on eBay for Christmas and we'll get a bike trainer once we're there so we can ride in our apartment as part of our exercise regiment; we're hoping to have both of us compete [and maybe Eli, who is 9 and really wants to do so as well!] in 2 triathlons this season once we arrive in China!). We bought tickets to go back that allow each passenger 2 fifty pound bags, plus a 20 pound carry-on. So we have 720 lbs. of luggage for the 6 of us--and we'll use every single pound of it! The 4 bags that are packed are at 49.6 pounds each according to my luggage scale. (I try to leave about half a pound of wiggle room just in case the scale at the ticket counter is different from mine and the agent checking us in is grouchy. Who wants to get stuck with 12 bags being considered overweight and paying for that when they're like half a pound heavier than they should be?!) Unfortunately this time since I'm bringing over 100 lbs of homeschooling books, I'll have to cut back on our chocolate chips and other optional items, but so far it looks like we're going to make it in getting over all our necessities (and least the ones we can think of right now!) that will help us make it through the next 21 months until our return back to the US again. (At this point, we're planning on our next trip to the US being Christmas of 2016.) And I'll be honest yet again--Mommy is probably NOT the nicest person to be around during this packing-up process. I get so frustrated with any extra clutter as I try to go through and organize every single thing in our possession, prioritizing what is a necessity and what we can leave behind, that I did find myself barking at my kids yesterday: "Who's candy is this on the table?" When I didn't get a response quickly enough, my next bark was: "You've got 15 seconds to claim this candy, then it's going to the trash!" I did miraculously find the answer to who the candy belonged to and it was replaced in the candy bag in the pantry where it should have been!
 |
| Some of the cousins (including newborn Max!) in a pyramid! |
What will it be like initially when we land in China? Our family flies into Beijing, then has a driver that will come and pick us (and our 720 pounds of stuff!) up in a large van (or maybe even a bus!). We'll drive the 3 hours to the city where we used to live, and we have 2 single girlfriends who have offered to vacate their 3-bedroom apartment for us to occupy while we get over jetlag. We'll go to our old international school, visit friends and our former students, and probably be running crazy trying to get some paperwork taken care of for our car registration. The minivan that we've owned for the last 2 1/2 years is posing a bit of a problem. We've found that there is no national system in China for transferring your car registration from one city to another. You're supposed to take your person and your vehicle back to the city it was purchased from annually to renew your registration. This would be fine, except that the city we're moving to is about a 4-day drive away. And we're not sure what you do about hotels, eating, etc along the way. So the bottom line is that we need to get the car registered in the city where we're going. But to do so, we have to turn in our license plate and hand over our registration in the city we WERE in, and then just hope that they'll allow us to register our vehicle where we're going. We could end up with a car that has no plates and no registration, and therefore probably couldn't be re-sold very easily! So you can imagine that we're doing lots of lifting up this topic in hopes that it goes smoothly and we're just simply able to get new plates and new registration where we're going. Oh the depth of the dependence on ALL the little things!!! Kevin will head out west after about 4 days in our old city and get our family registered to be there with the local police (we already have visas, but you need other documentation in order to be a resident and do things like sign a lease agreement) and the kids and I will stay in our old city for another 6 days so we can have more time visiting with old friends and giving him time to hopefully sign an official lease on our apartment (we already have one! Amazingly!! another American family had to leave at the end of Jan to come back to the US for medical reasons, and they contacted us about taking over their apartment; so we have an almost 1600 sq. ft., 4 bedroom, 1 bathroom (yikes!), apartment that looks great from the photos we've seen) and have the movers deliver our belongings. When we left last summer, we hired a moving company to pack up all of our stuff and hold it in storage to be delivered when we gave them the arrival date. We've run into our fair share of conflict in the process (they told us it was going to cost significantly more recently because we are so close to Chinese New Year--the holiday lasts 2 weeks, and we're asking for our things to be delivered 5 weeks after the holiday; so I certainly had some push back as to how anyone could justify overtime pay 5 weeks after a holiday due to it being too much to ask around such a sacred event! And then we were contacted last week for the company to tell us that our apartment community we're going to doesn't allow trucks to come in to the gated portion to get the furniture up to the door. Their suggestion was that they instead find a local storage facility and just drop our stuff off there, and we could figure out another way to get it all the way into our apartment from there! And this is after we've paid for a door-to-door move, as specified very clearly on our contract! Again, we clearly communicated that this was not an option, and I think we're at a point of understanding that we need our things IN our apartment, but there's part of me that is envisioning all our belongings sitting on the side of the road somewhere after the movers have gotten frustrated with the process and just given up. Kevin thinks that it has more to do with the moving company being freaked out by the community we're moving into than anything else. It's pretty much all minority people, which are generally feared by the Chinese majority (who would be our moving company folks) and seen as violent thieves. Pretty sad to be experiencing the discrimination of these people, and yet I have a feeling it's only the starting point of how our hearts our going to be broken in empathy for a people who have to endure so much hostility from others...
 |
| Karis and cousin Andrew at the farm. |
After the furniture arrives (hopefully!), the unpacking process begins, as well as trying to figure out where to buy our essential items and how to maneuver around a very populated urban city (population of about 4 million and we are pretty much in the town center, so not a lot of sidewalks or kid-friendly areas, unfortunately). We have 2 families that we've gotten to know pretty well over the last year (one of which is Kevin's business partner for the sports company), who both have 4 kids, living within about a 15 minute walk of where our new apartment will be. This should be a huge blessing to our families and we're excited to see what happens with these new friendships! The kids are genuinely looking forward to spending time with their new friends (who they met when our family went out west last June before we returned to the US). This is such a praise for this Mama's heart! As much as they are sad about leaving, to have things they can get excited about returning to is so reassuring to see His provision for our every need!
 |
| More cousin memories at the Duroc Ranch. |
 |
| Cousin Levi getting a free ride from Eli. |
 |
| The kids pointing out Kevin's name on the wall at Rice U. |
And speaking of every need, I should go get breakfast ready for my crew. I'm anticipating these next 11 days to be ones of not great sleep for me, leading too good early morning times of stillness as my heart and emotions are a bit in turmoil with all the goodbyes here and the anticipation of the next step in this journey. Again, I hate to admit it, but my sleep seems to be the thing that is affected the most as my mind races with the thoughts of: Have I ordered enough vitamins to cover us for 21 months? How am I possibly going to communicate to buy fruit when I still don't even have the basic vocabulary needed to do so? How much will my precious nephews have changed when I see them next? Will they remember their cousins and the sweet bonds that have developed over these past months or will we have to start over when we return? In the midst of sooooo many questions, and even fears that arise, I've CLUNG to Is. 55 that speaks of His thoughts NOT being my thoughts and His ways NOT being my ways, but that they are higher than mine, even higher than the heavens are above the earth. And He promises that we can go out in joy and be led forth in peace, with the hope of great things that He has ordained to come;
and so we go (really soon!!!)...
