Holiday Weekend

After my last post describing the "wall" that I hit, we've had a refreshing two weeks of slowing down (somewhat!) and then getting back into our usual routine--with, of course, the rapid pace that comes with any holiday celebration. Our first big piece of news was a new purchase--a swing! I've mentioned before that swings here are incredibly hard to come by. But would you believe our apartment community actually has a post all set up to hang swings on (even including all the hardware needed to attach the swings), that happens to be only one building over from us?! I've noted several occasions where grandparents have brought their small grandchildren over, hung their swings, and then removed them again for their walk home! It's always amused me that someone doesn't just invest in a swing to put there that cannot be removed, but in our 2 years here so far I have yet to see a community swing installed. So about a week and a half ago another family passed on a used infant/toddler swing for us to use (after I discovered Noah and Hud's love, in particular, for swing time while at the international school playground); and then I discovered a family operating a very small retail operation out of their home--with the items they were selling being displayed in their window to attract customers. One of the items was a swing! So I purchased the swing, with the plan being that I can actually hook two swings up to the already established poles and swing both Noah and one other big kid at the same time! We had a blast. In spite of the weather turning much colder and more windy, they boys have loved time outside on the swing set, and I'm loving the time with them in a contained area that allows them to return home without being totally covered in filth from outdoor exploring! A win-win for everyone!!

Our second big piece of news is the mother's study I've now done for the last two Saturdays. Talk about re-energizing and exhausting all at the same time! I am LOVING the time with this group of Chinese moms--all with kids younger than mine, and all desperately trying to figure out how the heck to raise their kid. You think moms in the US get overwhelmed--the moms here have a whole other world full of challenges. All (except one) of these moms are working (mostly full-time), so their small kids (all under the age of 4) are being raised either by their own mom or their mother-in-law, who oftentimes lives with the family full-time. But this generation of grandparents didnt' raise their own kids either (also had them raised by their parents), so these grandparents raising the kids have zero experience from which to draw. Add on top of that soooo many cultural issues--like short-term thinking rather than long-term, competition being the driving force to everything, discipline being based on humiliation rather than focusing on correcting behavior, etc.--and what you have is a group of moms in totally over their heads. And yet what a great opportunity to see and really feel a need for Something bigger than your self to come to you in your hour of need! We are reading Shepherding a Child's Heart (which is printed here in Chinese) and then discussing it each week for a series of 4 weeks. I have been so encouraged each week by the womens' response to the teaching time and their willingness to share, ask questions, and encourage one another. I feel for them--to be trying to have a vision for the big picture of what they desire for their child and how they want them to treat others in a society that just doesn't think about or emphasize such things leaves them feeling really alone and isolated in most instances.

The language aspect has been a real stretch for me. My goal has been to do as much in Chinese as I possibly can. I must confess that by the second week, my "Chinglish" was coming out more than I'd hoped! The good news is that all of these women do understand English pretty well, so I think that all I was hoping was clearly communicated. And it's really stretched my vocabulary! The other women only use Chinese, so I'm getting to strain myself (so that I'm pretty wiped out afterward) to make sure I'm understanding the gist of what all is being shared. I am super blessed to have one of my best western friends here (Natalie) doing the study with me. She has lived here for over 7 years so her Chinese is great. And also, my best Chinese friend here (and teacher) who is not even married yet is attending, mainly with the purpose of being moral support for me! She has been diligent to take notes for me each week over the questions the other ladies have, just in case I miss some of their meaning! I'm loving doing this so much, that besides missing the time away from the family (we're doing the study on Saturday afternoons), I can really see how this could be one of my most favorite ways to try to serve others here in China.

This past weekend was filled with Thanksgiving celebrations. We had a group of our closest Chinese friends over on Thursday to join us for a full Thanksgiving feast. We dined in full southern style--complete with sweet and sour green beans, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, spiced peaches, creamed corn, cranberries, homemade rolls (thanks to my friend, Charis!), and of course turkey! Followed by apple and pumpkin pie, with apple cider to top it all off. I chucked when the turkey was delivered from the import store and the tag said it came straight from Minnesota! Oh, and my favorite question as of late was when I ordered the turkey over the phone. The man on the other end at the import store asked, "When we deliver the turkey, would you like it frozen or melted?"!!

Our friends seemed to really enjoy the meal, which honestly surprised me a bit, but I'm thinking they are getting more and more used to our western-style of eating and can handle more of our heavy dishes and large quantities of meat! It was my first turkey to cook by myself, and other than being a little bit dry (I went with the on-line suggested cooking times rather than when the pop-out thermometer said the bird was done), we all decided the flavor was quite good. After we ate together, we had a sweet time of singing together and then sharing what all He has done for us that we are thankful for this past year. It was so encouraging to hear our friends bubbling over with the joy that comes only from Him and being able to rejoice together in His goodness!

The following day (Friday), we had our group of western friends over to celebrate--27 in all (including 16 adults and 11 kids)! Talk about a full house! Our almost 2000 sq. ft. apartment definitely felt the weight of that many guests (as I'm sure our neighbors down below did, too!), but we were thankful to have as much space as we do for the kids to run around together and to set up the multiple tables needed to seat that large a number. In spite of having so many guests, my preparation was not nearly as great, as my only contributions to the meal were purchasing and carving 6 rotisserie chickens, mashed potatoes, gravy, pecan pie, apple cider, and turkey cookies (which the kids made with sugar-cookie hand-print cut-outs and then decorated with icing and sprinkles). The kids had the day off from school (and only went a half-day on Thursday), so they had fun helping me set up all the table decorations and even making individual name cards for each of the kids. (They also spent a good amount of time playing with Bo, the bunny, and building with Legos--like the one in the picture with Eli holding his T-Rex creation!) One of the couples who came even downloaded a football game for us to watch on tv, making the feel of Thanksgiving and being able to celebrate with precious friends that much more complete!

Hitting a Wall

I experienced another first this past week--hitting a wall in a way I never have before! This past week was full of the usual activities of meeting with friends, hostessing, having some foreign friends and their kids over for playdates. We've also had some pretty heavy stuff lately we've been dealing with concerning future decisions, things we're doing here, who we're spending time with, etc. All this to say, I think that it all finally added up and ended up landing me in bed for the better part of two days! After being completely exhausted and barely able to stay awake while we had friends over on Thursday night, I crashed as soon as I could and managed to get up and the kids out the door on Friday morning. But once Noah and I got back from the bus stop, I literally could not pull myself off of the couch, even in response to Noah's persistent requests of "Read book, Mommy! Read book!" I struggled through several Dr. Seuss books from the library while still in a horizontal position (during which time Noah decided that sitting on my stomach was a good substitute for sitting on my lap!). Once our ayi came at 9:30, I explained to her that I was exhausted for some reason and just needed a little rest. Noah was only too happy to run outside and play with her so that I could retreat to my bed upstairs--where I spent the next 3 hours! I managed to pull myself out of bed to welcome Hud home a little after noon, sat with the boys while they ate, then again returned upstairs to lay down. After a SECOND two-hour long nap, which included skipping my scheduled Chinese class for the day, I spent a little time with the kids once they got home from school. Kevin graciously offered to take them all out to ride bikes, giving me another hour of down time before dinner. We did a family movie night, largely because that was about all that I was up for, and I again went to bed shortly after the kids did at about 9pm, sleeping through the whole night!

Now some of you reading might just be thinking this is my norm--but it certainly is not! I've never been so tired that a two-hour long nap couldn't cure my fatigue, so this has taken it to a whole new level!

Saturday was kind of a repeat of Friday for me, this time only taking two naps during the day and still being able to prepare dinner and host some of our Chinese friends who came over that night. But what has baffled me about the whole thing is that I have had no "sick" symptoms this whole time, other than a mild lingering cough that came with a cold I consider myself recovered from. So what is my self-proclaimed diagnosis? I'm thinking fatigue, and my body's way of telling me to shut it down for a little while. Which kind of feels like a terminal illness to me in some cases! Kevin has helped me intentionally weed out any "extras" in our schedule this week, something that is incredibly difficult for me to do myself. Dr. Kevin's orders are that I am to be focusing only on those things that I really want to do that would refresh me and preparing for a parenting study I'm leading that will begin this Saturday (I have a group of Chinese friends who have been asking me to teach on parenting--I seem to have fooled them into thinking that I'm some sort of expert largely due to the fact that I have more kids than anyone else around!). This study itself has taken it out of me already, as I'm trying to do it all in Chinese, and feel like my language ability really is not there yet! I've spent lots of time preparing and translating, and have learned probably a hundred new vocabulary words in the process. So thrilling, yet exhausting all at the same time! I'm sure I will have all sorts of funny stories to tell after our first meeting on Saturday!

So this evening my enjoyable activity was just to spend time with my kids--specifically trying to teach them all to two-step around our living room to Randy Travis' "Deeper than the holler" (which brought back great memories of this summer when we happened to see Randy at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where Kevin and I were being treated to an absolutely amazing dinner--and smiles over the memories of my brother-in-law Rob's enthusiasm at the performer's presence only tables away from where we were sitting!) The easiest-to-lead award of the night definitely went to Noah, NOT because of his disposition, but because I could pick him up completely and spin him around with fewer inches of arms flailing to contend with. The most enthusiastic award went to Karis, who thought she was just being carried away by the rhythm, begging me to put the song on repeat again and again. Hudson was a little too busy practicing his blocking moves on his littlest brother that he'd just learned at Tai Kwon Do practice to be too interested in which foot should go forward first!

My favorite quote of the week was by Karis, who was desperately seeking her Daddy's full attention this weekend. I can tell this story only because Kevin is SUCH an attentive and engaging dad pretty much all of the time, making this story even more laughable! While Kevin was doing something on the iPad on Saturday morning, Karis stuck her nose in between him and the screen and stated very emphatically, "Dad, I'm here! It's Saturday!" (In other words, "I'm ready to play--give me your undivided attention!") So thankful for the frankness of our kids in expressing just what exactly their little needs are at any given moment! :)

Lots of Posing!

Yesterday after rest time I took all of the kids to Trash Mountain to try to take advantage of the beautiful fall colored leaves that are sprinkled throughout the park on many of the trees. We originally planned to go on Saturday, but due to a constant drizzle and the cold that has become more of a daily presence we decided to forgo that plan and head to the supermarket indoor play area instead to let the kids expend some energy. Unfortunately, maybe a little too much energy was put forth, as one of our friends' daughters who joined us there ended up falling on her arm at an awkward angle, leaving us concerned that she had possibly broken a bone. Kevin took the little girl (Katelynne) and her dad to a Chinese hospital for an x-ray, with one of our best national friends here, whose mom is a doctor and whose friend owns and drives a car, guiding them along the way and through the process (the Chinese hospitals kind of work on a take-a-number and get in line system, and can get really difficult to navigate if you're not very familiar with the process--and if you're not ready to be a little bit on the pushy side in order to keep your place in line!). We were all so relived to find out that Katelynne's arm was okay, and had the added blessing of having her dad have his ear checked out, only to discover that the pain he's had for the past several weeks was due to a pretty serious ailment--an infection along with a perforated diaphragm. Again, thankful that he was able to be checked out and get the medicine he needs too to be on the road to recovery! It was a great reminder of how blessed we are to have such an incredible network of friends here who will drop whatever they are doing to help us when we are in need--even when it means spending literally all day at the hospital working the system!

Anyway, back to the photo op. I wondered if we maybe wouldn't draw a crowd, as most of the time when I have all 4 out in public together this is our trend. The funny part was how many others there at the park had the same thing in mind of trying to capture the beautiful fall leaves--which meant LOTS of people and LOTS of cameras at the park! The kids handled it beautifully, with Karis turning a little bit pink in the cheeks as she murmured between her lips while smiling, "Mom, all these people are watching us!" And sure enough, the crowd and the flashes that were present were pretty unbelievable. If I wasn't so intent on capturing the most ideal expression on each of my four monkey's faces I would have stopped to count how many were gathered around at any given moment. But alas, I was determined (and I think succeeded!) in getting all four of mine at least looking in the right direction at one time! The other truly humorous moment was when one mother was bold enough to step right up to where my kids were posed on the rock wall and insert her probably 2 year old into our family photo op! I didn't have to say anything, but made it clear that I was intentionally NOT trying to include her little one in our family shot, hoping not to offend to greatly!

After we took the pictures for 20 minutes or so, I rewarded the kids with some free time to explore. They had a blast making "jelly" out of the red berries they found and squashed between leaves and collecting sticks and other treasures under the cover of the low-hanging branches near where we were. The kids loved the outside play time, and we finished up our evening by trekking partially up the mountain and then back down closer to where the three wheeler awaited our return.

As we finished our walk, I took note of the array of clothing that the people jogging past on the path were wearing (they have added in the last year a path that is paved officially for jogging or walking, which is truly a rare find indeed, making the path well-traveled most times of the day). We saw a little bit of everything, but the most amusing was the man jogging (and I'm pretty sure not just in a hurry to get from one place to another!) in a dri-fit style t-shirt, but also wearing a men's blazer (or sport coat)! I wish I could say that this is unusual, but I regularly see people on the jogging trail in clothes not very many Westerners would consider proper sports apparel. Especially in the shoe category! Authentic running shoes that are of good quality here are REALLY expensive, much more so than most nationals could afford, which I assume is why I see so many people walking or running in shoes that definitely leave something to be desired in the support category. It makes me sad and concerned for their joints, knees, and backs each time I see it!

The other photo is of the boys last week and their first week of Tai kwon do lessons. We found a place here in our apartment community and after a few times of observing the instructor at work, decided it would be a great fit for our boys. And they LOVED it! It was so fun to talk with them about it after their first class, hear their enthusiasm over the kicks and punches and the possibility of moving up to eventually achieve a black belt. Kevin stayed with them the whole time to help translate as necessary (their instructor is a young Korean man, who we discovered is like-minded, which probably has much to do with his a-typical kind demeanor towards the kids). The teacher uses both Chinese and Korean in class, and occasionally sprinkles in some English for the sake of Eli and Hud! We are super thankful for this opportunity for them to be able to participate in some sort of organized sport, and Kevin and I both feel strongly that sports are a great way for kids to have character-building opportunities and life-growth chances that they could otherwise not be confronted with as much. It should also provide some great exercise, which will be especially beneficial as the winter is fast approaching! We have just started counting down the days (only 8 now!) until the heat is turned on as our apartment floors are starting to feel cold in spite of the wool socks we're wearing! :)

A Thread of Old Woven Throughout the New

How I wish I could transport each of you reading this into our living room right now. As much as I try to capture our life here in China and the daily activities as well as the challenges and differences, it really is just kind of one of those things you have to experience to really understand. There is still (after 2+ years of living here) a sense of strangeness in how many things seem the same and yet are so different! We've lived several of those differences out this past week...

The first was this weekend. Kevin took off early on Saturday morning to meet a group of ex-pat guys at a local sports bar that opened early in order to show the final game of the World Series. He got to watch an hour of the game with the guys before taxiing off to the International School where he had previously committed to help coach Karis' soccer game. So he was able to enjoy watching the big game with the guys--only instead of doing it in our home or someone else's, he was in a Chinese sports bar (which is unusual in and of itself) eating breakfast burritos because the game started at 8am!

Karis' soccer game would have felt like any other Lake Highlands league that we would have been a part of before we moved here to Tianjin, except that she was the only girl AND the only Caucasian (besides Eli, who was the guest player for the 2nd grade team as they were short a few) on the field. The kids had an absolute ball and they didn't notice anything strange about their team make-up or the environment (it was a pretty bad day on the pollution index, leaving Noah confused as to if the light in the sky was actually the moon or the bright enough to be the sun!). But I looked around me and observed the languages being spoken to encourage the young soccer players by the parents and felt again the uniqueness of our situation of being "foreigners" in so many different situations.

After the game, Kevin took Eli and rushed back to the sports bar to catch the end of the game while I kept the other three on the playground to play. I finally looked at my clock to discover that Hudson and Noah had both been on the swings for a solid 40 minutes before either of them was willing to get out! Swing sets are rarely ever found around here, and the boys were taking full advantage of the time being able to do so, chatting and singing the entire time. After getting off to stretch for several minutes, I was again taken by surprise when my incredibly active 2 and 4 year olds only wanted to return to the swings for more time of, as Hud put it, getting to "fly like a bird"!

After lunch we indulged in a super-fun treat--going out to eat lunch at a new Mexican food restaurant that has just opened, and happens to be close by our home, too! We were elated to find out that the food was really good and the atmosphere even conducive to bringing the kids along. And the place was crowded enough that it looks like they have a chance to stay in business, which, after one meal there, Kevin and I were thrilled about!

Saturday night we had a group of Chinese friends over for dinner and a movie night. After watching the movie "Soul Surfer", Kevin was fulfilling the role of the host by "song-ing" our guests home (which is when you walk your guests either to the taxi stop, bus stop, or their car; it used to be that you went all the way back to your guests' home to make sure they arrived safely, so we feel like this slight change in what is considered polite is a change in the much more convenient direction!). The group split up, leaving one single girl left alone to walk to her car. Kevin decided that it made the most sense to walk her to her car, and was really glad he had done so when upon arriving at her vehicle, they discovered that the car next to her had double-parked and had left no reason to believe that they were returning any time soon! Kevin was able to solve the problem by pushing the car that was double-parked (and apparently had a driver unfamiliar with the concept of using a parking break or leaving the car parked in first gear?) down the street and out of the way! Kevin said that the entire time his mind was worse-case-scenario-ing as he imagined bumping into the closely packed surrounding vehicles or losing control of the car he was pushing and watching it roll away.... Thankfully none of the scenarios played out, and he was able to push the blocking vehicle out of the way and then push it back (and least close to the original space!) to where it was previously parked with our friend being able to move her car out of the way and off down the street. Definitely a feeling of "where am I?" in the midst of the common courtesy of seeing a guest to the door!

Today in our International Fellowship that we attend on Sunday mornings, we were blessed by a student's spontaneous outpouring of worship. Our fellowship has about 200-300 in attendance on any given Sunday, all required by the government to be foreign passport holders, and a large number of those attending are students from Africa (mostly studying medicine of some sort). This weeks' worship team was being led mainly by several of these African students, and therefore had more of a African cultural feel to it. About half way through the time of worship, one of the young men who is a leader amongst the group jumped up on stage with the worship leaders, clapping his hands above his head, dancing around, and encouraging those of us in attendance to raise our voices. Kevin and I just looked at each other grinning, both thinking how refreshing it was to see such a genuine overflow of the heart in a way that was so culturally normal to so many in the pews, and yet how strange the scene would appear in any of our home groups with which we have fellowshipped in the US. We are thankful for the diversity in worship and cultural norms for which we get to engage in weekly with those we serve and worship with!

The last thing I've been taking note of this past week is Noah's responses to things that we experience here. As his language is developing, it is so fun to see what he says, what he notices, and how he pieces together both the world around him and the way he desires to express what he sees. His regular response to seeing those around us noisily clearing their throats and then hocking large loogies is, "Ew. Gross." Might I add here how thankful I am that this aspect of acceptable culture here in China has NOT become normal enough to him to think that it is okay to participate in! Another is the daily dodging of dog poop on the sidewalk as we walk through our apartment community. He has taken to announcing for all to hear (and avoid traipsing through), "Yucky! Doggie poo-poo!" His final, and my favorite, in spite of the severity of the situation, is his reaction to the electric bikes, three wheelers, or bicycles that regularly speed by, often times frightening him in the process because of how close they are to hitting you. His standard response once they pass: "Missed me!" Thankful for his ability to be able to laugh at situations that could be (and probably should be!) considered dangerous, knowing in Whose hands we reside.

Indonesia

One of the benefits to living in Asia is the travel that otherwise would probably NOT be very likely for our family. We were blessed to be able to enjoy that benefit this past week when our family traveled to Indonesia. Now before you get too green with envy as you read, let me start off by stating that actually getting there was NOT necessarily part of the enjoyment. Between our going and our returning home, I calculated that we spent 16 hours flying, 6 hours driving, and 17 hours waiting at the airport in order to make the trip a reality. My conclusion: my kids are amazing! I know that they are mine and therefore I am necessarily biased, but I've got to say that for a 7, 6, 4, and 2 year old to be able to travel they way they do, with the patience, creativity, and attitudes that they display MOST of the time, it is nothing but His hand of grace being evidenced in them! Oh, and did I mention that MANY of those hours of travel were in the wee hours of the morning? (For example, our flight leaving Indonesia departed at 1:30am, causing us to arrive at the airport at 10:30pm and wait several hours, in an airport with no seats, no carpet, no designated "waiting area" until we were actually able to enter the gate--which was 30 minutes prior to the plane taking off--which was, in essence, when it was time to board the plane.) It's this kind of "normal" for our kids that makes me see how people often say TCK's (third culture kids, a term for kids growing up in a culture that is not their parent's home culture nor fully the culture in which they live (for us, that is Chinese), making their culture an entirely different, or third, one, unique to them alone) are so travel-adept and willing to go and see new places. The fact that my two year old can pop out the hand-held remote in the seatback in front of him on the airplane and operate his tv on his own, knowing which button NOT to push because it will "call the lady" (aka the flight attendant) is proof enough that our kids do more time on planes than the average!!

Besides the time away being incredibly helpful to our family in thinking through our life in China and having sweet time meeting with dear friends, we had two scares (one big, one not so much) while in Indonesia. The first was an earthquake that hit on one of our last days on the island. While we were meeting on the fourth floor of our hotel, everything in the room suddenly started shaking violently. Even thinking about it now makes my heart beat faster and my stomach drop. Kevin and I immediately stopped what we were doing and ran out the door with a quick agreement that he would get the boys and I would get Karis (who was at that time in a different location). We ended up meeting in the hallway and all flew down the four flights of stairs to the open-aired courtyard below. Supposedly the earthquake was rated a 6.4 on the richter scale, but I'm not sure how far away the epicenter was from where we were. Close enough to be too close for comfort from my perspective, for sure! Later that afternoon, when we felt another aftershock and repeated the same drill of running to pick up kids and race downstairs, my stomach again was churning for about an hour after the last pulses of the quake had passed. My comic relief was Noah's reaction--his repeated "Shake! Shake!" that he continued saying with huge eyes and raised eyebrows as I held him close outside in the courtyard.

The second event was not quite as scary, but still a bizarre phenomenon. A shuttle from the hotel took us to the beach our last day in town, with the plan of letting the kids play in the sun and waves for long enough to wear them out so they would take afternoon naps, thus preparing for our late night at the airport. When we arrived at the dirt parking lot near the beach, we all disembarked from the van, only to find out that there were huge red ants all over the ground. I never saw an ant hill or even a large hole from which they came, but they instead seemed to be swarming all around, right near the door of the van. The kids were immediately fascinated, and, as they usually do with our friendly Chinese black ants, stopped to investigate and have a closer look. As soon as they did, the ants started climbing into their Crocs, causing screams from the kids as some of the ants began to bite! Before we knew it, we had screaming kids dancing through the parking lot, as the vicious ants bit several of the kids and clung to their shoes and clothes with a vengeance. I was shocked when I tried to knock them off of my own flip flops at how aggressive the little creatures were and how tightly they clung to whatever they wanted to keep a hold of! We finally managed to rid our shoes of the little red devils and continued on to the beach, with the kids screaming bloody murder any time any sort of any crawled close to their path. Pretty sure we discovered the Indonesian cousin to our Texas fire ants.

One of our highlights was Eli finally loosing one of his front teeth! The tooth has been loose for MONTHS--literally since we were back in the US this summer, and has just been hanging in there! The photo of him up close (and with a messy face!), is him showing off both how untidy he can be while inhaling large quantities of pizza and how wiggly his tooth was just prior to it falling out!

The other shot of Eli and Noah together was taken at the Hong Kong airport, which we became quite familiar with after spending about 7 hours there on our return trip. We were sooooo thankful to find a kids' play area that was ideal for little ones running around and stretching their legs some!

National Holiday

(Sorry for the delay!) The first week in October China celebrates it's National Day each year, giving the kids a much-anticipated break from school and a chance to sleep in past 5:45 in the morning!! We spent most of the week getting together with friends. The first picture is of Karis with her brothers and her friend Michelle from school who came over for a play date. Michelle is a precious little girl (who also happens to be a twin and share the same birthdate as Karis--June 17th!) that Karis became friends with last year. She is Chinese, but is a foreign passport holder (she was born while her parents were living in the US), and therefore is allowed to attend the International School. As you can tell by the looks on their faces, the kids all had a great time playing together for the morning!
We also got to spend time with some of our closest friends here--Natalie and Andy and their two little ones (Jenda, who is Hud's age and Blaise, who is Noah's age). You can see from this pic that even Andy got into the theatrical performance that Karis prepared for us all to participate in as our evening's entertainment. The final two pics are of the kids playing horses with their stall being located under the kitchen table. I am continually reminded of how creative kids can be when you let them run with an idea, and am challenged to join in with them in their imaginary worlds.

Kevin and I had a break from class as well, and with the beautiful fall weather and the kids at home I kept busy trying to find the balance between getting a few home projects done and taking time off just to "be" with my kids, playing outside, walking to the local joint to get milkshakes, and finding lots of preying mantis. Which, I might add, I found pretty freaky after I watched one that Eli caught kill and eat a spider that we put in the insect catcher with it! Our down time was a much needed respite from our usual routine and a great chance to be able to spend more quality time together as a family and with our friends!

Wedding Mania

This past weekend Kevin and I actually had to split up in order to make the rounds on the wedding circuit! He took the younger two boys to one wedding and I headed across town with Karis and Eli for another. As usual, we had quite the cultural experience at both events!

The wedding Kevin, Hud, and Noah attended was supposed to be the shorter of the two. It was close in proximity to our apartment, and the ceremony was only supposed to be a max of 45 minutes. It was supposed to start at 10:48 am (Chinese weddings almost always start at a time ending in 8 due to the fact that the Chinese word for 8 sounds like the Chinese word for wealth--with the idea being that you are hoping for wealth and prosperity at the beginning of your new life together). Unfortunately, not enough guests had arrived at that time, so the wedding ended up starting much later! (In Chinese weddings, they actually have the bride wait to arrive on the scene of the wedding--usually which takes place at a restaurant--until there are enough people there to properly welcome her, which is done with LOTS of fireworks, usually displayed in a heart-shape laid out on the ground throughout the parking lot. Kevin texted me around 11:30 informing me that the boys had already eaten their weight in Sprite and wedding candy (hard candy that they have strewn all over the tables of Chinese weddings). Kevin made it out of the wedding scene unscathed without any of the kids causing too much of a scene in a negative way!

The wedding I attended with the oldest two kids and two of my friends here was more of an all-day event. We had to be at a supermarket parking lot by 7:45 (leaving our house by 7am) to wait for a bus that was coming to pick us up after picking up a load of police officers from the train station! My first teacher here has now become a police officer herself, and this was her wedding, to which she invited (and provided transportation for) her fellow police-officers. The bus was running late, but we finally made it to the Tianjin suburb where the wedding was to be held by 9:30, about an hour before the wedding was to start. Karis was the flower girl and Eli the ring-bearer, and they both did their jobs really well. They did look a little bit wide-eyed as they listened to the MC, who in Chinese weddings sounds more like a loud obnoxious game show host trying desperately to get the crowd riled up, trying to figure out when they were supposed to make their way down the aisle. Our friends getting married adore the kids, and were so sweet and excited when they came down the aisle--meeting them at the end of the stage with huge hugs and words of encouragement. One of my two favorite moments of the wedding was when the two fathers stood up to give speeches during the ceremony. After thanking the two men of honor who had come (the bosses of the bride and groom who sat in special seats right on the runway/aisle), they thanked the foreigners who had attended the wedding (that would be me, Karis, and Eli!)! I was so tickled, trying to imagine a comparable scene in the US--a situation where the father of the bride is saying thank you to the Chinese person in the room. I wanted to remind them that while I appreciated the thanks, I had come on the bus from the city center with all the other guests in attendance--not exactly making a jaunt across the ocean just for the sake of attending a Chinese wedding! Deciding this not appropriate to mention, I simply did the polite thank you and nod and Princess Diana-type wave!

My second favorite moment of the wedding was afterward when we had moved to another floor of the building for lunch. The father of the bride walked up to me confidently with his entourage following close behind him. In his hand he held a set of apparently lost car keys that he was convinced belonged to me. When I saw the keys in his hand I had to stifle a chuckle as I explained that they were definitely not mine--they were to a Mercedes Benz! I thought it ironic that he assumed that the foreigner in the place was the one with the fancy wheels, and wished he could have seen my normal mode of transportation--my electric three wheeler!

The rest of the week preceding the weddings on Saturday and then following was again, super-busy. I had invited our friends who were getting married on Saturday to come to dinner that week, and we'd decided on Thursday night. Since it was only two days before their wedding, I wasn't totally surprised when my friend asked me if she could invite several other friends over to dinner to join us as well. I WAS surprised, however, when the three girls I invited to come (in addition to the couple getting married), asked me a few days before if the dinner was actually a wedding shower! My immediate reaction was that it was not--and I confirmed that they don't do wedding showers in Chinese culture. To this they replied that they indeed do not typically have wedding showers in China, but that I was not Chinese, and they knew that we do have them in the US! Based on this, and the counsel of my wise Chinese friend, we decided it was best to deem our formerly casual dinner gathering as an official wedding shower. I had to scramble a bit to find an appropriate gift and cake, as well as flowers and a few other touches to make it more shower-like!

My other fun hostessing surprise came that same day, when I discovered that the baby shower I was hostessing for a western friend due with her first in October was not for the 6 of us that I thought it was for, but that the evite guest list actually had 18 names on it! After getting over my initial panic, I was able to pull together a Sunday afternoon shower with the help of two of my other friends. The guest list went from Americans only to Chinese friends, too--which I was of course thrilled about, but also changed the hostessing dynamic (I added more fruit to the menu, more nuts for snacking, and Chinese tea). I found it pretty hilarious at the results from the evite we sent out. Out of those invited, all of the Americans replied pretty quickly with either a yes or a no; whereas our Chinese friends all either didn't reply at all or responded with a maybe! My teacher just recently explained to me that saying no to an invitation in China is too direct, so if you say maybe, then it actually means probably not. This was obviously the case with our baby shower this weekend, as I knew there would be between 9 and 18 of us there--and there ended up being 10!

The pictures I'm including are of the different weddings (and showers!) from this past weekend. Karis also had a school performance I attended in which she was "water". Pretty cute! The other photo is of our boys' favorite past-time--beating on our guests who come over to play!!