This past weekend Kevin and I actually had to split up in order to make the rounds on the wedding circuit! He took the younger two boys to one wedding and I headed across town with Karis and Eli for another. As usual, we had quite the cultural experience at both events!
The wedding Kevin, Hud, and Noah attended was supposed to be the shorter of the two. It was close in proximity to our apartment, and the ceremony was only supposed to be a max of 45 minutes. It was supposed to start at 10:48 am (Chinese weddings almost always start at a time ending in 8 due to the fact that the Chinese word for 8 sounds like the Chinese word for wealth--with the idea being that you are hoping for wealth and prosperity at the beginning of your new life together). Unfortunately, not enough guests had arrived at that time, so the wedding ended up starting much later! (In Chinese weddings, they actually have the bride wait to arrive on the scene of the wedding--usually which takes place at a restaurant--until there are enough people there to properly welcome her, which is done with LOTS of fireworks, usually displayed in a heart-shape laid out on the ground throughout the parking lot. Kevin texted me around 11:30 informing me that the boys had already eaten their weight in Sprite and wedding candy (hard candy that they have strewn all over the tables of Chinese weddings). Kevin made it out of the wedding scene unscathed without any of the kids causing too much of a scene in a negative way!
The wedding I attended with the oldest two kids and two of my friends here was more of an all-day event. We had to be at a supermarket parking lot by 7:45 (leaving our house by 7am) to wait for a bus that was coming to pick us up after picking up a load of police officers from the train station! My first teacher here has now become a police officer herself, and this was her wedding, to which she invited (and provided transportation for) her fellow police-officers. The bus was running late, but we finally made it to the Tianjin suburb where the wedding was to be held by 9:30, about an hour before the wedding was to start. Karis was the flower girl and Eli the ring-bearer, and they both did their jobs really well. They did look a little bit wide-eyed as they listened to the MC, who in Chinese weddings sounds more like a loud obnoxious game show host trying desperately to get the crowd riled up, trying to figure out when they were supposed to make their way down the aisle. Our friends getting married adore the kids, and were so sweet and excited when they came down the aisle--meeting them at the end of the stage with huge hugs and words of encouragement. One of my two favorite moments of the wedding was when the two fathers stood up to give speeches during the ceremony. After thanking the two men of honor who had come (the bosses of the bride and groom who sat in special seats right on the runway/aisle), they thanked the foreigners who had attended the wedding (that would be me, Karis, and Eli!)! I was so tickled, trying to imagine a comparable scene in the US--a situation where the father of the bride is saying thank you to the Chinese person in the room. I wanted to remind them that while I appreciated the thanks, I had come on the bus from the city center with all the other guests in attendance--not exactly making a jaunt across the ocean just for the sake of attending a Chinese wedding! Deciding this not appropriate to mention, I simply did the polite thank you and nod and Princess Diana-type wave!
My second favorite moment of the wedding was afterward when we had moved to another floor of the building for lunch. The father of the bride walked up to me confidently with his entourage following close behind him. In his hand he held a set of apparently lost car keys that he was convinced belonged to me. When I saw the keys in his hand I had to stifle a chuckle as I explained that they were definitely not mine--they were to a Mercedes Benz! I thought it ironic that he assumed that the foreigner in the place was the one with the fancy wheels, and wished he could have seen my normal mode of transportation--my electric three wheeler!
The rest of the week preceding the weddings on Saturday and then following was again, super-busy. I had invited our friends who were getting married on Saturday to come to dinner that week, and we'd decided on Thursday night. Since it was only two days before their wedding, I wasn't totally surprised when my friend asked me if she could invite several other friends over to dinner to join us as well. I WAS surprised, however, when the three girls I invited to come (in addition to the couple getting married), asked me a few days before if the dinner was actually a wedding shower! My immediate reaction was that it was not--and I confirmed that they don't do wedding showers in Chinese culture. To this they replied that they indeed do not typically have wedding showers in China, but that I was not Chinese, and they knew that we do have them in the US! Based on this, and the counsel of my wise Chinese friend, we decided it was best to deem our formerly casual dinner gathering as an official wedding shower. I had to scramble a bit to find an appropriate gift and cake, as well as flowers and a few other touches to make it more shower-like!
My other fun hostessing surprise came that same day, when I discovered that the baby shower I was hostessing for a western friend due with her first in October was not for the 6 of us that I thought it was for, but that the evite guest list actually had 18 names on it! After getting over my initial panic, I was able to pull together a Sunday afternoon shower with the help of two of my other friends. The guest list went from Americans only to Chinese friends, too--which I was of course thrilled about, but also changed the hostessing dynamic (I added more fruit to the menu, more nuts for snacking, and Chinese tea). I found it pretty hilarious at the results from the evite we sent out. Out of those invited, all of the Americans replied pretty quickly with either a yes or a no; whereas our Chinese friends all either didn't reply at all or responded with a maybe! My teacher just recently explained to me that saying no to an invitation in China is too direct, so if you say maybe, then it actually means probably not. This was obviously the case with our baby shower this weekend, as I knew there would be between 9 and 18 of us there--and there ended up being 10!
The pictures I'm including are of the different weddings (and showers!) from this past weekend. Karis also had a school performance I attended in which she was "water". Pretty cute! The other photo is of our boys' favorite past-time--beating on our guests who come over to play!!
