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| Nana, Hud, and Eli in the gladiator ring they built |
I hate washing the guest sheets. The problem I have is not the laundry--it's the evidence that the guest who has just inhabited our world for a short time has left! That is the case this morning. And I find myself in that emotional predicament of "Do I 'conceal don't feel' at this moment or sit down and have a good cry?" Crazy as it sounds I feel like living away from friends and family and trying to acclimate to a new place and culture, this question comes up more than I'd like! While I know it's important to grieve and take time to be sad when sad things happen, I also know that we walk a thin line here of emotional stability, and going down a little bit really can sink the whole ship. So the question of how much to feel and when to compartmentalize is a very real one in our world!
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| playing baseball with local friends |
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| swim time! |
Kevin and Eli got up at 4am to take my mom to the airport to get her on her flight--barely! Her ticket had been changed, and the airline had failed to reissue the new tickets (both legs of the journey to get her from here in the desert all the way across China's east coast and then back to Dallas). When Kevin called from the airport after half an hour of him trying to argue the way onto the flight, I was thankful that I was still at home (with three sleeping kids) and able to get a representative on the line who then could quickly reissue the tickets. This was, of course, after Kevin and my mom had been sent to a different terminal in the airport, but they were able to literally race back and make it through security as her flight was finishing boarding. And as far as we know, her bags also made it on the flight to arrive in Beijing in several hours! I've found myself wandering around the apartment this morning, playing with the kitten more than usual, and torn between wanting to quickly wash the sheets and get them put away so I can somewhat compartmentalize the sadness of seeing my mom go and yet also wanting to leave them out as reminders of her sweet presence.
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| Nana with kids in the mountains |
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| Eli's 10th bday celebration--a week early! |
Not that there aren't enough reminders, even without leaving the sheets in a heap on the floor. Although we only had her for 12 days, and several of those were spent with us both knocked out by a stomach bug that circulated to some degree through all of us, she made the most of every moment here (in her true "Go for it!" style). She hiked mountains, averted her eyes past the butcher shops as lambs were being slaughtered, sewed a handbag with Karis on her new machine, watched all three Free Willy movies (that's right--betcha didn't know there were that many!), taught several neighborhood kids how to play baseball (kind of), visited the police station three times (all to get permission to stay in our apartment while here), took tons of photos (some of which she got scolded for, as people are really tight regarding photos and security out here), and had some hilarious cross-cultural moments. Our favorite was this past Friday night. Kevin and I went further than we usually do for a date night--a Mediterranean food restaurant we'd been told about that was the best meal I've had in the last 6 months! While we were out, we left my mom and the kids at home with dinner and a movie. One of my favorite neighbors, a much older woman who is kind of the matriarch of our whole building, knew my mom was in town and showed up at the door just after dinner. She started rattling away in Mandarin and Uyghur, neither of which my mom can speak at all (except for saying hello and thank you). She left her walker in the door, kicked off her shoes, and walked in to sit down at the kitchen table with a bag full of about 3 dozen eggs (which my mom thought must be hard boiled, but actually were not!). Karis was able to understand enough of the Chinese she spoke to know that she wanted to welcome my mom and wanted to cook for us; she was planning on waiting there at the table until Kevin and I returned! My mom didn't want to be rude, so she kept smiling, sitting with the kind woman, with each of them taking turns patting one another on the arm and repeating the 3 words they both knew--lao lao (Chinese word for grandmother), Dallas, and Houston (where our neighbor's daughter and her family live). This went on for awhile, with the kids' movie on hold, when Eli suggested that Karis be the spokesperson (as the bravest Chinese speaker of the bunch) and tell her that they were going to bed! Pretty sneaky way to get back to the movie....But my mom agreed that this sweet woman waiting at the kitchen table for hours was probably not a good idea, so they were able to write down on a piece of paper the time they thought we would be home, which communicated enough for her to know that we wouldn't be home till late. She packed up her walker and headed home, leaving us with the makings for quite a few quiches and some really fun times laughing over the whole incident. So thankful for sweet neighbors, and for my mom getting in on the craziness that is more the norm than not these days!
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| Karis and Nana at a yurt in the mountains |
We were also really glad that my mom was here to help as we prepare to leave town to go back to the east coast. Kevin and I (hopefully!) will compete in a sprint triathlon this upcoming Saturday in a beautiful coastal city, then we'll return to Tianjin where we used to live to spend 4 days connecting with old friends. We're all so excited, and the timing is perfect, as it will give us a distraction from missing my mom as she's just left. There are quite a few requirements in order to compete in this triathlon, one of which is completing a health check before they allow you to register. This includes an EKG, which I have now had 3 of in the very recent past! At the first clinic, Kevin and I both had a heart problem, according to the doctor who read the EKG, which would prevent us from exercising. When we informed him that we'd been training 6 days a week at a pretty strenuous level for the past 4 months, he was surprised, and decided that we USED to have heart problems, but they must be better now. Then he sent us out the door! We decided it best to get the EKG redone, so went to a second clinic, this time with a Chinese friend along just in case we were missing anything with the language barrier. Kevin was cleared--his EKG looked good and the doctor wrote a note saying he was healthy enough to compete. I, on the other hand, evidently have a shortage of blood. After one line of the EKG having a funny dip in the line, the doctor informed me that if I tried to exercise, I would feel severe pain in my chest. Again, I informed him of my past 4 months of physical activity with absolutely no pain, discomfort, or any other symptoms. He persisted with his theory that I still had a problem. His suggestion--rest for 2 days, not doing any physical activity, then return for another EKG. If at that point my results still looked the same, they would give me a blood transfusion and that would solve the problem! Kevin and I both agreed on the way out the door that even if that WOULD be my cure-all, we'd rather NOT have me compete in the tri than receive an unnecessary blood transfusion in China! So the final step was to go to our American doctor friend at the international clinic. Why didn't we go there in the first place? Well, it's a good hour across town and 10x the cost of the local hospitals we went to (literally). But keep in mind the local places were as cheap as dirt--the first EKG cost us $3.25, total, for 2 people! The second was a bit more pricey--$9 for both of us. But going to our friend was the right choice. He did a full physical, checked my EKGs and determined that everything was normal for someone working out regularly, and cleared me to compete. If I can get in! The other thing we learned through all this is that when we register at the race site the day before the competition, I need to bring not only the doctor's approval, but also the actual EKG. If the doctor there on site agrees that there's a problem, they won't let me enter! So we're sure hoping for the best. I'll be honest, to not compete would be SUCH a disappointment after all this work. And it's not that there's just another tri I could sign up for; we're at the end of the season here and there aren't any competitions anywhere close to where we are. So this is it! Asking for favor and strength to compete well assuming we do get to do so (and for Kevin's back, which has held up through our training, but sure isn't in good shape, especially when it comes to running on hard pavement)!
