We’re in countdown—7 days down and 2 to go until Kevin comes
home!
He’s spent the last week on a trip
with the high school sophomores from the international school in one of the
most beautiful parts of China (Guilin).
He sent the two pics that I’m including…So wishing I was there with him
to take in the natural beauty!
All of
the upper-school students go on week-long trips to different parts of
China.
Talk about great bonding time
with the kids and having neat opportunities to go deeper with them.
Though our talk-time has been brief, so far
all the reports of his time have been really great.
So the kids and I spent the first free Saturday we had
riding bikes (and scooters!) to the pond that is not too far from our
home.
We’ve reached a new phase that I
love where we can all be mobile together (even though dodging the cars in the
parking lot makes me pretty jumpy).
After our 10 minute ride, we arrived to find the tadpoles we’d
discovered the weekend before transformed!
There were now thousands of tiny frogs (some still with small tails)
trapped in one part of the pond (a portion that was enclosed in concrete with
walls too tall for them to be able to hop out of).
It was a testimony of how few birds there are
in our city that any of these small frogs were alive; they were sitting ducks
just asking to be a meal for a hungry predator passing by!
But the Joseph kids were on the job, and by
the time we left the pond a few hours later, several hundred of the small frogs
had been “rescued” by being transported via various methods into the larger
body of water where they could move about more freely.
After we finished the rescue mission (or
maybe I should say, got bored with the activity), we discovered a “clean” plot
of ground (not covered in dog poop or much trash) that was really quite
beautiful.
The tall grass made the
perfect grass whistles for the kids, and we spent another hour making swords
out of the sticks we found and trying to create different pitches with
different lengths of grass.
A friend who
just had lasik surgery sent 2 of her boys with us, so we had quite a party
(that of course drew quite a crowd as the curious on-lookers wanted to see what
kind of play the foreign kids partake in!).
I was thankful to be able to help out my friend just a bit
by bringing a meal to them and trying to get her kids out to play (she has 5 of
them, and her husband also is out of town on a school trip!).
I had a situation on Friday morning that was
a good picture of life and relationships here in China (generally
speaking).
I had a girl I know who was
willing to pick up the kids’ new passports at the US Embassy in Beijing for
us.
We need to get them picked up right
away in order to get our resident permits renewed this month, but you either have
to go to Beijing in person to get them or have some documents giving someone
else permission to get them for you.
So
I was so excited that a friend was already going so that we might not have to
do a 3 hour trip there, then turn around for the 3 hour trip back home.
The only problem was, I had a very small
window of time in which to get her the documents she needed!
So I finished teaching my pre-algebra class
and raced out of the school to get across town to reach her before she had to
hop on the subway to get to the train station.
After driving for an hour, I still hadn’t reached my friend when she
called to say she couldn’t wait any longer.
I made a u-turn and pulled over to shed some tears of frustration at
big-city traffic and how narrow the margins of life seem to be here.
I wanted to be frustrated with my
friend.
Why couldn’t she have waited 10
more minutes for me to get there?
Why
did she have to change the original time we were supposed to meet? Why….?
But the reality is, she hadn’t done a thing
wrong!
She was incredibly gracious to be
willing to pick up our stuff at all.
But
most people here are working within such constraints, whether they be time or
the resources they have (emotional, etc.), that we just don’t have a whole lot
of extra to offer around!
So my sweet
friend with 5 kids who had a husband going out of town and surgery on her eyes
literally had no help.
No meals coming.
No one to help with the kids.
And it’s not because there’s something wrong
with her or she doesn’t have any friends.
It’s just really difficult to have what someone in that situation
needs—whether it be the energy to help out with 5 active kids or the time to
prepare and bring over a meal!
I sure
don’t want to make it sound like the community in which we live is cold or
forces isolation; but man, it really does require a lot to serve others.
And it takes a lot of intentionality,
too.
And then who do you decide who to
serve and when?
The needs are seemingly
endless, whether you’re looking at the ex-pat community or our Chinese friends,
not to mention the social issues that so many of us would LOVE to tackle!
Sigh…
Definitely a fact of life here that forces dependence on Him more than I
would otherwise experience; whether it be dependence to have my own needs met
or dependence on His strength to extend the grace given to me to be able to
better serve others.
Giving thanks for
that deepened dependence today!
Even if
it means some places of discomfort in areas I would rather not endure…
So I’ve run into 2 social issues this past week that I’m
totally stumped about how to handle culturally.
Karis was invited to spend the night with a group of girls, the parents
of whom I don’t know at all.
Kevin and I
both agreed that it was out of the question, and we explained our reasoning to
Karis to pass on to her friend with a (hopefully) polite decline of the
invitation.
So I was totally caught off
guard when one of the girls’ mothers (who I do know, but still don’t know well)
called me to ask a very pointed “why”!
She and the other moms had it all figured out—transportation, if the
girls couldn’t sleep in the same room, etc.
So every reason I gave had a good solution!
I didn’t want to come right out and say,
“Sorry, but I don’t know you from Adam, and there’s no way I’m sending my 8
year old daughter to spend the night in your home where who-knows-what might be
going on….”
Even though that is what was
going through my head!
So my out?
I put it off on Kevin!
I think it was culturally appropriate to do,
as most of the Korean homes have the husband as the very dominant authority
figure (and these girls involved in the potential slumber party were all Korean
families).
Kevin gave me permission to
say that I needed to talk with my husband about it again and that I’d get back
to them if I got his permission, so I’m hoping I haven’t totally burned the
bridges with these families.
The second
incident this week was with a group of Eli’s friends from school—also Korean
families.
He was invited over to a
playdate on Friday night to a family’s home who I again did not know.
Once again, I said no, only to have the mom
call back and ask about Saturday.
And
then when I again responded with a negative, she continued to text and ask
about each day the following weekend!
Enough
already!
I think I finally got through
that I wasn’t ready to commit to anything, but I’m at a total loss as to how to
encourage these cross-cultural friendships of my kids (which we really are so
excited to see them developing!), yet not having much of a relationship with
the other families and knowing that we have LOTS of differences in values,
family dynamics, etc.
Thinking that the
best route is just to open OUR home to these kids, these playdates; but gotta
be honest.
Having a house-full of extra
kids on our already packed weekends is not my most favorite thing.
Guess something’s gotta give!
Ha—that probably means me!
J
We’re in countdown—7 days down and 2 to go until Kevin comes
home! He’s spent the last week on a trip
with the high school sophomores from the international school in one of the
most beautiful parts of China (Guilin).
He sent the two pics that I’m including…So wishing I was there with him
to take in the natural beauty! All of
the upper-school students go on week-long trips to different parts of
China. Talk about great bonding time
with the kids and having neat opportunities to go deeper with them. Though our talk-time has been brief, so far
all the reports of his time have been really great.
So the kids and I spent the first free Saturday we had
riding bikes (and scooters!) to the pond that is not too far from our
home. We’ve reached a new phase that I
love where we can all be mobile together (even though dodging the cars in the
parking lot makes me pretty jumpy).
After our 10 minute ride, we arrived to find the tadpoles we’d
discovered the weekend before transformed!
There were now thousands of tiny frogs (some still with small tails)
trapped in one part of the pond (a portion that was enclosed in concrete with
walls too tall for them to be able to hop out of). It was a testimony of how few birds there are
in our city that any of these small frogs were alive; they were sitting ducks
just asking to be a meal for a hungry predator passing by! But the Joseph kids were on the job, and by
the time we left the pond a few hours later, several hundred of the small frogs
had been “rescued” by being transported via various methods into the larger
body of water where they could move about more freely. After we finished the rescue mission (or
maybe I should say, got bored with the activity), we discovered a “clean” plot
of ground (not covered in dog poop or much trash) that was really quite
beautiful. The tall grass made the
perfect grass whistles for the kids, and we spent another hour making swords
out of the sticks we found and trying to create different pitches with
different lengths of grass. A friend who
just had lasik surgery sent 2 of her boys with us, so we had quite a party
(that of course drew quite a crowd as the curious on-lookers wanted to see what
kind of play the foreign kids partake in!).
I was thankful to be able to help out my friend just a bit
by bringing a meal to them and trying to get her kids out to play (she has 5 of
them, and her husband also is out of town on a school trip!). I had a situation on Friday morning that was
a good picture of life and relationships here in China (generally
speaking). I had a girl I know who was
willing to pick up the kids’ new passports at the US Embassy in Beijing for
us. We need to get them picked up right
away in order to get our resident permits renewed this month, but you either have
to go to Beijing in person to get them or have some documents giving someone
else permission to get them for you. So
I was so excited that a friend was already going so that we might not have to
do a 3 hour trip there, then turn around for the 3 hour trip back home. The only problem was, I had a very small
window of time in which to get her the documents she needed! So I finished teaching my pre-algebra class
and raced out of the school to get across town to reach her before she had to
hop on the subway to get to the train station.
After driving for an hour, I still hadn’t reached my friend when she
called to say she couldn’t wait any longer.
I made a u-turn and pulled over to shed some tears of frustration at
big-city traffic and how narrow the margins of life seem to be here. I wanted to be frustrated with my
friend. Why couldn’t she have waited 10
more minutes for me to get there? Why
did she have to change the original time we were supposed to meet? Why….? But the reality is, she hadn’t done a thing
wrong! She was incredibly gracious to be
willing to pick up our stuff at all. But
most people here are working within such constraints, whether they be time or
the resources they have (emotional, etc.), that we just don’t have a whole lot
of extra to offer around! So my sweet
friend with 5 kids who had a husband going out of town and surgery on her eyes
literally had no help. No meals coming. No one to help with the kids. And it’s not because there’s something wrong
with her or she doesn’t have any friends.
It’s just really difficult to have what someone in that situation
needs—whether it be the energy to help out with 5 active kids or the time to
prepare and bring over a meal! I sure
don’t want to make it sound like the community in which we live is cold or
forces isolation; but man, it really does require a lot to serve others. And it takes a lot of intentionality,
too. And then who do you decide who to
serve and when? The needs are seemingly
endless, whether you’re looking at the ex-pat community or our Chinese friends,
not to mention the social issues that so many of us would LOVE to tackle! Sigh…
Definitely a fact of life here that forces dependence on Him more than I
would otherwise experience; whether it be dependence to have my own needs met
or dependence on His strength to extend the grace given to me to be able to
better serve others. Giving thanks for
that deepened dependence today! Even if
it means some places of discomfort in areas I would rather not endure…
So I’ve run into 2 social issues this past week that I’m
totally stumped about how to handle culturally.
Karis was invited to spend the night with a group of girls, the parents
of whom I don’t know at all. Kevin and I
both agreed that it was out of the question, and we explained our reasoning to
Karis to pass on to her friend with a (hopefully) polite decline of the
invitation. So I was totally caught off
guard when one of the girls’ mothers (who I do know, but still don’t know well)
called me to ask a very pointed “why”!
She and the other moms had it all figured out—transportation, if the
girls couldn’t sleep in the same room, etc.
So every reason I gave had a good solution! I didn’t want to come right out and say,
“Sorry, but I don’t know you from Adam, and there’s no way I’m sending my 8
year old daughter to spend the night in your home where who-knows-what might be
going on….” Even though that is what was
going through my head! So my out? I put it off on Kevin! I think it was culturally appropriate to do,
as most of the Korean homes have the husband as the very dominant authority
figure (and these girls involved in the potential slumber party were all Korean
families). Kevin gave me permission to
say that I needed to talk with my husband about it again and that I’d get back
to them if I got his permission, so I’m hoping I haven’t totally burned the
bridges with these families. The second
incident this week was with a group of Eli’s friends from school—also Korean
families. He was invited over to a
playdate on Friday night to a family’s home who I again did not know. Once again, I said no, only to have the mom
call back and ask about Saturday. And
then when I again responded with a negative, she continued to text and ask
about each day the following weekend! Enough
already! I think I finally got through
that I wasn’t ready to commit to anything, but I’m at a total loss as to how to
encourage these cross-cultural friendships of my kids (which we really are so
excited to see them developing!), yet not having much of a relationship with
the other families and knowing that we have LOTS of differences in values,
family dynamics, etc. Thinking that the
best route is just to open OUR home to these kids, these playdates; but gotta
be honest. Having a house-full of extra
kids on our already packed weekends is not my most favorite thing. Guess something’s gotta give! Ha—that probably means me! J
