We've had such a fun last 2 weeks, only made a little bitter-sweet by my mom leaving Tianjin after a wonderful visit in our world. For 13 days, we were able to go to the zoo (discovering a new monkey exhibit that was surprisingly humane in it's design and aesthetic quality for the monkeys), play at our new favorite outdoor lake spot, ride bikes (with Nana teaching Hud how to ride without any training wheels!), do some souvenir shopping for Nana to bring back with her, get a qi pao (traditional Chinese dress) made for Karis, and make countless other memories while my mom was here. There really is nothing like having family come and be able to experience life here--the many differences and nuances that are so hard to capture by simply describing them in words. It brings a depth of understanding and camaraderie that I think is felt on both ends--ours, and the party who is visiting. The worst part is always the goodbye. Besides our family being in tears at multiple points, our ayi was crying over my mom's departure and the neighbors continue to stop me in the community to ask if "lao lao" (Chinese word for the female's mother) has left. We also got to celebrate Easter with my mom here (you can see the Easter bunnies and their happy hunters in the top photo). We had 2 families over to celebrate together, and we all had a ball! You'd never know that the kids were hunting eggs in a dirt patch that is most often used as the bathroom stop for the neighborhood dogs rather than a lush, green Dallas park!
As I've had some time to process since my mom's departure (it's only been 4 days), I realize the other emotion evoked besides sadness at her leaving is what I would describe as an increased sense of not belonging, of not being connected as others are. Our best friends came over for dinner last night, and the wife (also a Texan) and I had a good heart-to-heart about the reality of living overseas. Neither of us wanted to complain or be ungrateful for the incredible blessings that we both have, but at the same time, we both have the same detached feeling from what our closest friends and family experience as "normal" in their relationships back in the US. I have fantastic friends here, but I'm doing really well if I have any opportunity to spend time one-on-one with any given friend more than once every 3 weeks or so. And getting families together is happening more often as we are trying to be more intentional about it, but that too is often really complicated and hard to make happen (I'd say we're at a once every 2 week window of time for family playdates). The reality of life here adds complicating elements--transportation in getting to people, schedules as most of us here are pretty intentional about spending time with our Chinese friends, the lack of places to go to get together with a group (there are no kid-friendly restaurants or other indoor venues here in China, I'm quite convinced!), the weather making it difficult to do things outside much of the year (we're just getting weather warm enough to discard our long undies and be able to play outside for any extended length of time). All these things add up to a making getting re-fueled by others who are like-minded and like-cultured really challenging and much more rare in occurrence than I would consider ideal!
The other element in feeling disconnected, besides comparing the challenges of doing so with other westerners here to what I knew previously in the States, is the attempt to adapt culturally. It seems that no matter how much I learn and grow in both understanding the language and culture, there's always a layer of understanding that I can't quite get deep enough into in order to really grasp the meaning--to really understand what is NOT being spoken. I hear the words, but what is the underlying meaning? Even with my closest friends, there are differences in our friendship. Little things that come out that make it impossible to forget that I am the foreigner. Oh, how I long for the day when those differences are diminished and not so obviously felt!
I guess until that day, we'll continue plugging away, giving thanks in all circumstances, and having as much fun in the process as we can! I am thoroughly enjoying having 2 days off from teaching. Both of my classes are taking standardized tests this week, so I have both Monday and Tuesday where I am not needed at school. I almost don't know what to do with the time I have at home by myself! So this is what it feels like to be a stay-at-home mom when your kids are off at school. . . I've made the most of my first morning of not having my normal routine by having an extended quiet time, catching up on some long-overdue emails, taking an hour-long bike ride to a new part of town (I'm training for a triathlon in September), catching up on some school work, and taking a shower that lasted long enough to fog up the bathroom windows! Kevin just walked in the door and I informed him that I could get used to this! :) He reminded me that I probably should not, but could enjoy two days of it at least!
We spent this weekend enjoying being able to play outside. Kevin took the 3 boys to Eli's soccer practice and Karis had a whole crew of her school friends over to play. I was thanking the Lord that I only had 4 kids of my own as I tried to serve all 9 kids around my kitchen table the lunch I had prepared. It was simple--mac and cheese, fruit, fried chicken and Chinese noodles that my ayi had prepared the day before)--but even so, it took quite a bit of time to prep and clean up afterwards! We had the group over from 9:30am until 4pm--so it was a full day and the kids all went home tired and filthy from their outdoor play. Karis is already asking when we can do a repeat; I told her we might need to give me a few weeks to recover!
We've had such a fun last 2 weeks, only made a little bitter-sweet by my mom leaving Tianjin after a wonderful visit in our world. For 13 days, we were able to go to the zoo (discovering a new monkey exhibit that was surprisingly humane in it's design and aesthetic quality for the monkeys), play at our new favorite outdoor lake spot, ride bikes (with Nana teaching Hud how to ride without any training wheels!), do some souvenir shopping for Nana to bring back with her, get a qi pao (traditional Chinese dress) made for Karis, and make countless other memories while my mom was here. There really is nothing like having family come and be able to experience life here--the many differences and nuances that are so hard to capture by simply describing them in words. It brings a depth of understanding and camaraderie that I think is felt on both ends--ours, and the party who is visiting. The worst part is always the goodbye. Besides our family being in tears at multiple points, our ayi was crying over my mom's departure and the neighbors continue to stop me in the community to ask if "lao lao" (Chinese word for the female's mother) has left. We also got to celebrate Easter with my mom here (you can see the Easter bunnies and their happy hunters in the top photo). We had 2 families over to celebrate together, and we all had a ball! You'd never know that the kids were hunting eggs in a dirt patch that is most often used as the bathroom stop for the neighborhood dogs rather than a lush, green Dallas park!
As I've had some time to process since my mom's departure (it's only been 4 days), I realize the other emotion evoked besides sadness at her leaving is what I would describe as an increased sense of not belonging, of not being connected as others are. Our best friends came over for dinner last night, and the wife (also a Texan) and I had a good heart-to-heart about the reality of living overseas. Neither of us wanted to complain or be ungrateful for the incredible blessings that we both have, but at the same time, we both have the same detached feeling from what our closest friends and family experience as "normal" in their relationships back in the US. I have fantastic friends here, but I'm doing really well if I have any opportunity to spend time one-on-one with any given friend more than once every 3 weeks or so. And getting families together is happening more often as we are trying to be more intentional about it, but that too is often really complicated and hard to make happen (I'd say we're at a once every 2 week window of time for family playdates). The reality of life here adds complicating elements--transportation in getting to people, schedules as most of us here are pretty intentional about spending time with our Chinese friends, the lack of places to go to get together with a group (there are no kid-friendly restaurants or other indoor venues here in China, I'm quite convinced!), the weather making it difficult to do things outside much of the year (we're just getting weather warm enough to discard our long undies and be able to play outside for any extended length of time). All these things add up to a making getting re-fueled by others who are like-minded and like-cultured really challenging and much more rare in occurrence than I would consider ideal! 
The other element in feeling disconnected, besides comparing the challenges of doing so with other westerners here to what I knew previously in the States, is the attempt to adapt culturally. It seems that no matter how much I learn and grow in both understanding the language and culture, there's always a layer of understanding that I can't quite get deep enough into in order to really grasp the meaning--to really understand what is NOT being spoken. I hear the words, but what is the underlying meaning? Even with my closest friends, there are differences in our friendship. Little things that come out that make it impossible to forget that I am the foreigner. Oh, how I long for the day when those differences are diminished and not so obviously felt!
I guess until that day, we'll continue plugging away, giving thanks in all circumstances, and having as much fun in the process as we can! I am thoroughly enjoying having 2 days off from teaching. Both of my classes are taking standardized tests this week, so I have both Monday and Tuesday where I am not needed at school. I almost don't know what to do with the time I have at home by myself! So this is what it feels like to be a stay-at-home mom when your kids are off at school. . . I've made the most of my first morning of not having my normal routine by having an extended quiet time, catching up on some long-overdue emails, taking an hour-long bike ride to a new part of town (I'm training for a triathlon in September), catching up on some school work, and taking a shower that lasted long enough to fog up the bathroom windows! Kevin just walked in the door and I informed him that I could get used to this! :) He reminded me that I probably should not, but could enjoy two days of it at least!
We spent this weekend enjoying being able to play outside. Kevin took the 3 boys to Eli's soccer practice and Karis had a whole crew of her school friends over to play. I was thanking the Lord that I only had 4 kids of my own as I tried to serve all 9 kids around my kitchen table the lunch I had prepared. It was simple--mac and cheese, fruit, fried chicken and Chinese noodles that my ayi had prepared the day before)--but even so, it took quite a bit of time to prep and clean up afterwards! We had the group over from 9:30am until 4pm--so it was a full day and the kids all went home tired and filthy from their outdoor play. Karis is already asking when we can do a repeat; I told her we might need to give me a few weeks to recover!