The number of stressors in our lives that are out of our control are really almost hilarious when we stop and add them up. In the last two weeks, we've had changes in our plans for visas for this next year, school for the kids, and how a huge chunk of our time is going to be spent for work and "extra" curricular activities. We've gone back and forth on wise financial decisions--specifically about purchasing a car and buying plane tickets to return to the US this summer. Our apartment is still on the market. Some of our family members are having health issues back in the US, with the severity still largely unknown. And the changes continue! I would love to give a status report, but know that again, so much is so up in the air that I would only have to spend the entire next blog making corrections! So for now, we'll suffice it to say that we're hoping in the next few weeks to be able to determine for sure where our visa is coming from (possibly Kevin and I both teaching part-time at the international school the kids attend or possibly from me being a full-time language student), what our involvement is going to be in our "extra curricular" activities as our meetings with those in charge continue, and then what we think we can afford long-term for the kids education (with Kevin and me teaching coming into play in regards to what their tuition will be). We did however, make one big decision as of last night--and that is that we ARE coming back to the States this summer for almost 6 weeks! We decided that if we waited until all the questions we have are answered there is no way we'd ever be able to make a decision. It feels like things change around here in the blink of an eye, so we might as well go ahead and pull the trigger on at least one of the things we have up in the air! We're thrilled to be coming back, albeit brief, for a taste of home and some clean air in our lungs!
So after talking with a friend who's husband happens to be one of the international school principals, I found out that not only is the job that they are considering me for not what I thought (I thought it was high school English, when actually it is more of a special resources position for kids with language or learning difficulties), but there's a decent chance that they don't need Kevin or me at all to fulfill specific roles. I feel like I have been at the place where I was holding really loosely to our plan of school for the kids and my part-time job of teaching as well as the much looked-for visa it could provide, but this conversation still managed to rattle me much more than I expected. I went to the school that morning to fulfill my volunteer hours with a knot in my stomach. While I was at school and serving as the lunch room mom on duty for the elementary students, I was given the job of serving the kids cheese and salsa as they came through the line. But I realized just how fragile my emotional state really was when my world was rocked by one teeny-weeny decision--the cheese being removed from my control! Apparently I was being too generous with my cheese distribution, but rather than saying anything to me, the lunch ladies simply removed the container of cheese from my reach and put it behind the glass on their side of the counter. I know--it sounds like I have completely lost my mind, but this one small thing that was once again taken out of my control rocked me beyond words! I did recognize the humor of my response, even in the midst of the emotional moment, and I fought back the tears pricking my eyes as I went to sweet up the floor and wipe down the tables after the first wave of 1st and 2nd graders filed out of the cafeteria. I kept looking at the janitors I was working alongside in the lunch room thinking, "I am so far away from the Major League wives section!" (the preferred seating where player's wives sit to watch the games). Not that that is a bad thing--but shows how I am still adjusting and trying to identify just exactly what is my new normal--including my role of TIS janitorial staff! I truly delight in our opportunities to eat a slice of humble pie every now and then, but I have to be honest and say that there are times (lots of them involving trying to learn and speak Chinese correctly, trying to communicate across cross-cultural lines, etc.) when my slice of humble pie feels more like I'm devouring the entire dessert!
We recognized for the first time the severity of some of the living situations that are part of our new normal this week. I entered into the bathroom to find Noah chugging a cup of bathwater before I could yell for him to stop! He immediately gave a, "Sorry Mom!" , but my worst fears came to pass as he ended up awakening that night vomiting and then having a brutal bout of diarrhea for the next 6 days. Thankfully, he seems to be back to normal, and seems to even understand that the cause of his discomfort was him drinking the water that he has been told numerous times to avoid--so we're hoping to not have a repeat of the rumbly tummy anytime in the near future! We also had a fun adventure taking my sister and her family to one of our favorite places--the flower and plant market in town. It is filled with acres of greenhouses which enclose more plants, fish, and other critters than you can imagine--all available to buy for a fairly low price! This trip we even found several unidentifiable creatures--kind of looked like salamanders but in bright colors like pink, turquoise, and green. The highlight was taking them back to the "dog section", which is somewhat removed from the rest of the facility. As Rob put it, he felt like he was walking right into a scene from a post-Apocalyptic movie set! There were huge piles of debris and rubbish all over, and when you finally reached the dog area, the scene was pretty heart-wrenching. Suffice it to say that there is no Chinese animal rights groups active that we can tell! You can find really large dogs here--which is incredibly rare in China, as large dogs are usually outlawed within the city limits. The condition of both the dogs and their living conditions were enough to make us pass through as quickly as we could, mainly fearing that my soft-hearted sister might decide to adopt the whole lot of them before we could escape.
