I can't believe that Christmas is only a week away now! It's amazing how quickly it comes! Seems like only yesterday that we were packing our bags for our first trip back to the US for Christmas last year. While we are definitely feeling the miles of distance between us and those Stateside, we're also really loving so many aspects of the intentionality of celebrating the season on this side of the ocean!
This past week we had a few celebrations: Eli and Hud had their school Christmas performance--and it was precious! Some of the pictures are from there, including the one with Ms. Barbara in it (the kids surrogate grandmother here in China, who has yet to miss one of their special events!). I also had a morning off from our usual family time last Saturday when I got together with a group of Western friends for a cookie and soup exchange and luncheon. We had sweet time enjoying one another's company, eating, and even exchanging gifts (usually fun finds that are hard to come by here--a bag of coffee, a full-sized mug, non-gaudy earrings, etc.). After the luncheon, I took off for my last study with a group of Chinese moms (as shown in the other photo--with my Western (and Aggie! Whoop!) friend, Natalie--who helped me lead the month-long study we did.) More on the study later...
I thought I'd include some of my favorite snapshots from the week that came from each one of the boys. Noah's was a few days ago as we were walking through our apartment community to bring some food to a friend. Karis was kicking the soccer ball on the way, and kicked the ball close to a little Chinese boy out with his grandpa (he was probably about 3 or 4 years old). The ball obviously startled him when it rolled past, and he responded with sort of a yelp! Noah's reaction was to immediately cry out to him, "LOOK OUT, GEGE!" (Gege is the Chinese word for older brother!) It was so quick and so natural, Karis and I both burst out laughing, especially since it seemed so odd as this word in particular is NOT part of our usual Chinese vocabulary. I'm guessing he's just practiced with Ayi, but I was unaware that he even knew what the word meant! Hudson's came on our walk to school on Thursday morning. He was telling a story--which is not at all a-typical for him. He was explaining to me what had happened on the episode of Tom and Jerry he had watched the previous afternoon (in Mandarin, of course). He explained to me that Jerry had come down with a bad case of leprosy, even getting it in his mouth! I stopped Hud and told him that he probably had the chicken pox, not leprosy, but he was convinced of his diagnosis! Eli's was this morning, as we were preparing to go shopping for Christmas presents we are taking to an orphanage next week (sure you will have a full post on that one next week!). During our discussion, he very pointedly asked me, "Mom, when are we going to get one?" I responded with, "One what?", assuming he was referring to a specific gift or something. He shocked me by saying instead, "An orphan." After I put my eyes back in their sockets and caught my breath, I asked him what made him think we were going to "get one". He stated very simply that he'd heard me mention it before (as Kevin and I have talked about the possibility of adopting some day). This prompted a very interesting discussion in which I talked with the boys (who were the only ones at the table at the time) about the possibility of us adding to our family through adoption, what this might look like, and their thoughts on the matter. It was pretty precious, them discussing the pro's and con's of another brother vs. a sister, the possibility of it being a child with extra emotional or physical needs, etc. They then explained to me that they knew all about adoption because of how many friends we have who have done so--elaborating on one family we know who lives in Shanghai and has 10 kids (I think 2 or 3 are adopted), one of whom is missing a few digits on one of his hands. The boy from Shanghai and his brothers had apparently told Eli and Hud last year when we were with them that the boys missing the digits had had dipped his fingers in a pool of water and had them bitten off by piranhas! After I stopped laughing, I was able to argue with my boys that I was quite certain this was not the real story, but only the brothers having fun and having a good attitude about something that could be a real downer in one's life.
So back to the parenting study. It finished up, I am happy to say, a total success. So much so that the ladies were really wanting to continue meeting. As much as I LOVED the time with them, it was also a big burden on Kevin and a lot of time away from the family. So we left it with me encouraging them to continue meeting together and encouraging one another (which they were very open to doing) and then maybe re-upping to meet again for a series of weeks in the Spring. I don't know of any other activity I've participated in here that has felt like a more natural bridge to building relationships and talking about things of importance. And it is sooooooo needed here! I was amazed each week at how the "normal" things that we think every parent knows just aren't talked about or considered here. Things like giving your kids boundaries or limits (or telling them "no" to anything at all!), teaching them B verses, communicating with them, finding out how they best feel loved and giving that to them, all these things are simply not known or practiced. It was so encouraging to see these women take simple basic truths and try to apply them each week, then come back and share their stories. We spent a lot of time laughing (at least they did--the parts I could understand, I was laughing along with them!). And the study was a HUGE help to my language learning. I tried to do most of the teaching time in Chinese, with resorting to Chinglish as needed and an occasional clarification in English, which I could get away with as all the ladies spoke at least some English themselves. And I also had Natalie there as my crutch--her language is incredible and we prepped together a lot, so she could help me in a bind. I found as I was lying awake one night this week not able to sleep for some reason, that as I practiced Chinese in my head, for the first time I was able to express my heart about what I feel like is important in raising kids in Mandarin. And this is a really big deal because I literally have opportunities almost every day to use this kind of language to open doors--people asking about which kid is my favorite, how beautiful they are, how important the outward appearance and their success in the world is, etc. All these things that go along with a godless culture that I see as signs of being so lost, I now have the ability to explain that there is more out there than the empty and vain pursuit of what the world has to offer! It's exciting and invigorating all at once!
I'd better head to wake Noah up from his nap. We have dinner guests coming shortly--a girl headed to the US for a time of study whose parents are both coaches of the professional athletes in town (one coaches trampoline and one softball). Kevin assures me that in spite of it being a little uncomfortable for us to host this crew (they are what we call, "full Chinese", meaning they don't really have other Westerners they hang out with, so aren't used to our custom and food differences!), it will hopefully be a beneficial relationship in which to invest! Sure to have more fun stories as a result... :)
