Poop in the Stairwell

celebrating summer w/ cotton candy

I won't post a picture to give any more of a visual of the title of this post...but I do feel like it's a good picture of what we've been stepping around as of late.  Yes, there has been a pile of human excrement in our stairwell for several days now.  We do have an elevator, but this past week when it went out we discovered the stinky pile as we passed by it (thankfully, not through it) on our way up to our 8th floor apartment.  Gross.  Putrid.  Really inconvenient.  Yet unavoidable, and what are you gonna do about it (other than maybe clean it up myself, which I haven't brought myself to doing yet...)???  So while we're waiting for the pile to be removed or our elevator to get repaired, I figure that the best approach is to be aware of it being there, take heed as we dodge the pile, hold our breath, and press on ahead.  My life, in so many regards....

grass whistles

Three weeks ago, two of the kids were bitten by stray dogs.  The crazy part is that it was two different dogs, on two different days (one on a Friday and one on a Sunday), in two different apartment complexes!  What are the odds?  Now when I say stray dogs, you kind of have to have some context.  In our part of town, most people consider dogs to be unclean, so you should't have one in your home.  But, of course, lots of kids still like dogs.  So you end up with kids getting puppies, but they can't have them in their homes (and VERY few apartments have any sort of outdoor courtyard that could contain a pet).  So you end up with kids keeping puppies in their apartment hallways until they are bigger, then they turn them loose outside to kind of run wild, but sometimes consider these "stray" dogs to kind of belong to them.  So it's really normal to have a pack of dogs living in an apartment community courtyard with different people feeding them at different times.  All four of my kids are HUGE dog lovers, so this really has been a huge blessing to them to have such easy access to playing with dogs in the area.  They have them all named (currently, our complex has a pack of about 6 that are living in a small grassy patch on the other side of our building) and go outside to play with them regularly.  Jasper, my kids' current favorite, loves to roller blade alongside the kids all throughout the complex and also is an incredible frisbee player, retrieving and returning the frisbee every time it's thrown!  It's a bit of a sad situation, too, however, in that these dogs are often severely mistreated by people within the community and they're, of course, quite mangy, as they live off of whatever scraps, garbage, or small critters they can find and never are indoors to get groomed or bathed.  It's also pretty normal for them to just disappear or be known to be killed by workers within a complex (usually the garbage collectors).  So we've had pretty strict rules concerning these dogs; the kids are allowed to play with them but they're not supposed to be petting or touching them.  This has gotten increasingly more difficult though as they've gotten to know so many of these dogs better and the dogs have a huge affection for my kids, some of the only ones who are kind and compassionate toward them.

Noah at the water park

So 3 weeks ago, Karis was playing with several of the dogs in a friends' complex when Tapioca, one of the girls' favorites, got carried away and nipped Karis in the arm.  It was only a small bite, but punctured the skin nonetheless.  Kevin and I weren't sure that we needed to take drastic measures at that point, as we were pretty certain the dog wouldn't be carrying rabies and the bite wound was so minor, but we were still concerned and in the process of talking through the issue on Sunday, when Noah was bitten by a different dog (Freddy).  The kids were outside playing a game of Virus Tag with a group of their friends when Freddy jumped out from behind the bushes and latched onto Noah's arm.  His bite was much more severe, breaking the skin and leaving bruises in several spots, and Noah was obviously shaken up by the whole thing.  Freddy's been around in our friend's complex since this winter, and he's always been pretty mean, but this seemed even more extreme an act of aggression than we were used to, which increased our concern.  As we did the research and talked with our American doctor friend here in town, our fears were confirmed about the seriousness of rabies (once you show any symptoms, it's too late; there is not cure and rabies almost always ends in the fatality of the victim).  We decided it wasn't worth the risk, no matter how minimal it might be, that the kids could have been infected, so we started the hunt for the post-exposure rabies shot.  You would think this would be a simple task; it is not!!!  We took off on Monday morning after researching on Sunday and knew that we were looking for two different shots--one is an immunization that we wanted all 4 of the kids to get, and the other is the post-exposure globulin that is administered if you have been bitten by a dog with (possibly) rabies.  After 6 hours we returned home on Monday having all 4 kids receiving a shot, only to discover after confirming with another doctor that all they had received was the immunization, NOT the post-exposure shot that is so necessary for Karis and Noah who had already been bitten.  And this is after trips to multiple different hospitals and CDCs in town, with everyone we talked to assuring us that this is all that we needed and all that was available.  We even had to fight to get Hudson and Eli the shots, as they didn't have proof that they'd been bitten and therefore the doctors felt like an immunization was a waste of a shot!

Karis and Hud picking flowers

So the next step was getting to some place that did have the right shot.  After an hour-long phone conversation to the international hospital in Beijing, finally ending in me speaking to an American ER doctor there who confirmed that we could get the post-exposure globulin, Kevin got on a plane with Karis and Noah on Thursday to take a four and a half hour flight across the country, wait in the ER for several hours before getting the needed (and very painful!) shots, spend the night in a hotel, then turn around and fly back the next morning so they were back in time for a lunch meeting Kevin had scheduled for Friday.  And the funny thing is, this doesn't seem too abnormal to us!  I guess one of the things we've adjusted to is that living overseas requires a lot of extremes that you would never dream of doing (or enduring!) in the US.  So we're resting much more easily now, knowing that the kids who were bitten have a "good" dose of the required medicine and tomorrow marks the final round of the immunizations needed for all 4 kids (5 rounds of shots total).  The kids are counting down the days till they have permission to re-engage with their dog friends, who have been patiently awaiting our kids' return to the courtyard for a game of frisbee.

Noah's 7th bday celebration (June 3)

We've had a scary instance or two within our apartment complex over the 15 months that we've lived here, but only twice have we had late-night knocks on our front door that left us rattled.  Unfortunately, the one night Kevin was away marked our most scary incident of that nature yet... A little before midnight there was an intense pounding on our front door that aroused me from sleep.  As I ran/stumbled to the door, the banging increased in aggression and there was rattling of the door handle as well as a key going into the lock.  Now this normally would have unnerved me, but the key in the lock sound really put me over the edge because just that afternoon I had gotten a copy of our front door key made at a nearby store.  While in the store, there was a man there who made me uncomfortable, asking me lots of questions and expressing his frustration with American in general (I couldn't quite figure out why.... he was using some vocabulary that I didn't know!).  So the whole time our door is getting pounded upon my mind was racing with the possibility of someone having followed me home, knowing where we lived, having a copy of our key, and their ability to waltz right into our home.  I was still pretty drowsy but had enough wherewithal to start shouting in as deep and threatening a voice as I could in Chinese, and within a few short (but long feeling) minutes, the person on the other side of the door ran to the stairwell and down the stairs.  I was so shaken up thinking that there was a chance still that someone had a key that I spent the rest of the night clutching a baseball bat and fervently asking for help in my heart!  I did have to chuckle at the difference in my response and a friend's.  Upon their arrival here in our city (several years ago), they had a group of men gather at their front door and pound on their door for quite a long period of time, evidently not just at the wrong door but seemingly in anger or disapproval of their new foreign neighbors.  Our friends were brand new to the country, so they were also at a language disadvantage, not being able to ask through the closed door what the problem was.  Rather than picking up a baseball bat and being ready to take off the head of the first intruder to walk through the door (my possibly unsanctified approach to this situation), the husband had his wife and daughters lock themselves in a back bedroom and prepared tea.  He figured if the men outside were to get into his home he would at least try to win them over with warm hospitality and servant heartedness!  Guess I have some room to grow if that is what loving your enemies looks like...

Karis' surprise!

So the next pile of poop came less than a week later.  Karis' birthday was on June 17, and the day before that I threw a surprise party for her.  I had 6 of the western girls here in the city (which is pretty much all of them between the ages of 6 and 15!) meet at our favorite restaurant for lunch then took them all to the plant market for Karis to let her friends help her pick out some potted flowers (this is one of her favorite places in the whole city!).  We had been in the plant market about an hour and were winding down when the group of girls stopped at one tree that had two pieces of fruit growing on it that looked  a lot like kiwi.  Before I could say anything, one of the girls reached out and gently touched the fruit on the tree and encouraged her sister to do the same.  In a flash, the somewhat withered piece of fruit dropped off the tree and into the girl's hand.  We all stood there looking at it for a moment before the vendor walked over, obviously not happy.  He started fussing at us and then pointed to a sign that said the cost of the tree was 600 kuai (about $100) and touching the tree cost you 50 kuai (about $8).  The two sister who had touched the tree have pretty good Chinese, so they initially tried to argue with the vendor that the fruit was already withered and that caused it to drop, but he wouldn't have it.  So they (very maturely, I thought) pulled out their wallets (which they happened to have to buy their own plants) and tried to hand him 50 kuai.  The man wouldn't accept the money, saying it wasn't enough, and grabbed onto one of the girls sweaters.  I removed his hand and told the girls to walk closer toward the door, away from the vendor's stall.  I proceeded to argue with him, urging him to take the 50 kuai or nothing, but he insisted that 4 or 5 girls had touched it so we needed to pay him more money, not specifying an amount.  At this point I told him to take the money or we were leaving, but he said that he wouldn't let us go.  I tried to call his bluff by walking away, at which point it got scary.  This small man grabbed my arm with both of his hands with such ferocity and strength it shocked me.  He managed to literally drag me back to his stall by holding my one arm after I'd walked away about 20 feet.  This is when I realized we were in trouble.  I tried speaking loudly and forcefully to him, telling him to let me go in every language I could get out, but to no avail.  His grip was really hurting at this point!  When I realized that I wasn't going to convince him to release me and I saw the horrified look on the girls' faces who were standing by helplessly looking on I made the conscious decision to starting yelling.  In China, a lot of time you don't get peoples' attention until you make a lot of noise.  It's an honor/shame culture, and someone yelling at you makes them loose face (feel shame), so you see this practiced ALL the time--people yelling at the security guards when they're not quick enough to open the gate to an apartment community exit, at lines at the ticket counter of an airport, etc.  My yelling worked.  I started screaming out my defense in Chinese, explaining that we made a mistake by touching the tree and were trying to give him money, but that the man wouldn't take it.  Then I started yelling for someone to call the police, hoping that would prove to the bystanders that I was convinced of my own innocence in the matter.  Thankfully, right away a few men came to my rescue, one in particular who started yelling back at the vendor and I think (I can't remember this part clearly) actually got the vendor to release my arm.  I didn't even stop to thank my rescuers, but threw the money at the vendor's feet and started running toward the group of girls waiting in tears for me.  We all bolted for the entrance door (the exit was the other way that would have taken us right past the angry vendor) and managed to talk our way out (the security guard there was hesitant, but we kind of just blew past him as I hurriedly explained that an angry man was chasing us and we needed to get out as fast as we could).  We ran to our car and took off, stopping to debrief and pray together before returning home.  The girls were all so shaken up by the whole thing and my arm had bruises on it still the next day from the man's hands and marks from his fingernails.  By the time I was dropping off the last girls, we were able to laugh at the fact that Karis' birthday party had certainly been a memorable one!

bday cupcakes in the plant market parking lot

So how do we handle these piles of poop that seem to be inevitable in where we are?  Good question.... and I'm not sure I have the complete answer yet.  I will admit that the series of events that I've just written about were enough to rattle my sense of safety and security.  I had a period of several days that left me feeling like I wanted to withdraw, curl up in my nook and just read.  I didn't want to get out the door and engage with my community.  I found myself more jumpy when someone I didn't know looked at me funny on the street.  I felt so tired.  But thankfully, I feel like I've pulled through the feelings of insecurity and I'm back on track, ready to take on the world!  The best analogy I've got (besides dodging the piles of poop) is that of a boxing match.  It feels like so much of living overseas is just that--a boxing match where I have to have my gloves up at all times.  It's a fight to not feel overwhelmed and withdraw.  It's a fight to learn another new language and communicate in one that doesn't come naturally to me.  And I sometimes find myself against the ropes, feeling like I'm just getting pummeled.  In these times I'm so thankful for my husband who encourages me, a few dear friends here who hear me talk through my stressors and allow me to cry, times of solace to be still at his feet and realign my heart with his in praise and worship.  Struck down, but not destroyed...  Piles of poop that we try to walk around but just can't get out of the stairwell completely.  So I've had my water break on the bench in the corner and now the gloves are back up.  Ready to face a world that sure knows how to stretch a girl to her limits...

Karis opening bday gifts

Parties and Travel

one of the many manholes

my "monkeys" at the zoo

It’s spring, and we’re making the most of some beautiful weather and a somewhat more relaxed schedule to get out and about—and to have some parties!  We turned a trip to the import store into an exploration of a new place to play—the former zoo that is now a public park.  I don’t know why we hadn’t been told of this one before!  The kids were nuts over the places to explore and climb; the green grass and the open sidewalks took my breath away.  It helps that this time of year everything is in full bloom, so the foliage is a stark contrast to the white concrete that is the predominant eye sore around town.  Besides the numerous open manholes, the kids were in sheer heaven climbing around on what I think was the former monkey island!  No one even minded that the construction on the roads around the park turned the 20 minute drive into about an hour both ways, and I got my shopping done and some good, clean air and exercise into my active kiddos who have been certainly experiencing some spring fever.  I’m not sure if I’ve never noticed it so much before because I’m used to them being in school during most of the hours of the day, but man, have we had a lot of extra energy and wiggles that daily need to be burned off!

That's right--an Aggie jacket in our courtyard!  Whoop!

bball in our courtyard

I’m thankful for Eli’s tendency to have a goal in mind for himself and issue a challenge to his siblings to pique their interest in also pursuing the same goal.   He’s been doing that as of late with exercise; after I’d pointed out that one of his best friends is in charge of taking the trash down from their 6^th floor apartment daily to the outside trash can (no elevator in their building), he’s decided that doing more stairs is good for everyone.  So he decided that he, too, would take the stairs rather than the elevator each time he can.  He also asked me if I’d be willing to bribe/reward his siblings with two jelly beans (still a bit of left over Easter candy around here!) if they would run the stairwell with him.  So the kids have agreed to regularly go from our 8^th floor apartment, all the way up to the 14^th floor and all the way back down to the ground floor and then up again to the 8^th—and they do this either 4 or 5 times round trip!  You’d better believe they come in the front door huffing and puffing!  I usually stand near the door with it propped open to yell some words of encouragement and be ready with water bottles so they don’t have to slow down too much.  (Of course, it’s got to be somewhat of a competition; I do have 3 boys who have had their dad model a competitive nature!)  I figure that with the number of calories they must be burning, two jelly beans are a small compensation for me to make for their hard work! 

Hud's bday dinner out w kabobs...

...and mint brownies for dessert

My bday coffee date w Eli

We’ve also had a few birthdays and other memorable occasions to celebrate.  Hudson turned 9 years old on May 2.  We had a family dinner, along with some of our best buddies out here who were hanging out with us for several days while their mom was in the hospital.  His friends’ presence made the family celebration (and the birthday brownies) that much sweeter!  His other request was to celebrate by going out to the mountains and doing a fellowship time with a group of friends there.  It was such a sweet outing!  We loaded up a huge van that we rented and 3 other cars and had a group of 30 of us make the one hour trip to one of our favorite places in China.  We spent the day visiting, singing, and charging up the sides of the mountains.  It was such a sweet celebration!  And then my birthday was a few days later on the 5^th, and we had a family dinner out at a favorite Central Asian restaurant with a few friends able to join in the fun.  I also got to enjoy another fun treat—coffee with Eli!  He’s become quite the coffee lover (when we allow him to indulge on rare occasions), and one of the coffee shops nearby has started carrying decaf coffee (at my request!).  So I’ve got a favorite coffee shop now which I’m frequenting more regularly!  (In the past, none of the coffee shops had deca,f which makes it really disappointing to meet someone for coffee in the evening when I know that drinking some would affect my sleep.)  The one other big celebration was for Kevin.  He’s been working so hard at his language learning that we just HAD to have a party for him—complete with one of his favorite desserts that isn’t made often (there are too many ingredients that I can only get when they are sent in a US package).  He’s been memorizing in the new language he’s studying, and the amount that he’s memorized has me standing back in awe.  The man has a mind that is truly gifted for this sort of thing, and I’m so thankful for his diligent perseverance; he’s set records, I’m sure!  And the time and effort he’s putting into it are being used in a mighty way.  Much to celebrate there!

too much walking for Noah

in ChengDu

We took a trip to another city in China, ChengDu, for me to attend a homeschooling conference there.  It was so helpful!  Although I’ve been homeschooling the kids now for two years, I’ve never attended this sort of conference.  As Karis is getting into middle school (she’ll be in 7^th grade starting this fall), there are things that I just don’t want to miss and have her fall behind in required courses, etc.  So I thought it was a good time to talk with other experts on the matter and also find some encouragement along the way (as I can honestly confess, is needed on many days!).  Kevin hung out with the kids for the 3 days that I was in meetings, and they had an absolute blast!  The first day we arrived we took them to a sporting good store that has really great quality stuff for reasonable prices.  The kids each got to pick out either roller blades or scooters (the older got the blades, the younger got the scooters).  The place we stayed ended up being such a surprise blessing; I found it online and we almost didn’t book it because it was inexpensive and was only 3 stars.  We thought it might be a total dump, but it looked like there was  a pool and I knew that would be a total treat for the kids.  It ended up NOT really having a pool, but it was in this fantastic area perfect for rolling around; it was basically an apartment in an area with a huge courtyard with gorgeous blooming flowers that looked like a European plaza of some sort.  And there was a Starbucks and 7-Eleven right around the corner (the 7-Eleven had donuts and Dr. Pepper!!!).  The city of ChengDu is WAYYYY different from where we live, so we took advantage of all the perks—wide sidewalks (so we’d walk everywhere to dinner if it was within an hour’s range or so), Tex Mex, movies in English, Papa John’s, and an Ikea (where I could stock up on a few basic home things, even fitted sheets, that we just can’t find elsewhere).  We left after 4 days feeling refreshed from the break in our routine and excited about the new things we had to bring home.

buying chicken 

picking a cut of meat

It’s amazing how every time I pull away from our “usual” routine and environment I find myself doing some major processing about our life.  We’re almost 7 years into China being our “new normal,” and yet I still find myself shaking my head in wonder so much of the time.  I’ve been trying to capture some of it on film (or digitally, I guess I should say).  This one photo shows where I buy my chicken.  I think I’ve mentioned before that I get it at our local butcher (which is such a blessing; he didn’t used to always have it but has started carrying it I think largely because I purchase so much from him each week that he knows that the frozen chicken will be sold out of his coolers!).  The only bummer is that most of the time when I go in there (or, rather, stand outside hoping I don’t need to actually walk onto the blood-dripped floor), there is a sheep bleeding out on the floor.  It’s so hard to hear, see, and smell that sight!  And this is from a city girl who grew up spending weekends on the family farm and even seeing the cattle going to the butcher house….but man, it does add an element of stress to my shopping experience!  I am also still amazed at the cuts of meat that are the select cuts in the cultures around me.  I tried to capture one as the woman getting the “yang” (which can best be translated as mutton) in front of me was instructing the butcher what to cut off.  Literally all the meat in the bag that she was purchasing was white—either bone, tendon, or fat!  There was maybe 10% pink anywhere.  How different from our higher priced, lean cuts of meat that are so preferable in the US!

Hud's 2 friends--"dinner" and "dinner"

our wheels in ChengDu

And I’m seeing the differences in my kids, too.  When we were in ChengDu at the sporting goods store, we were playing outside for about an hour, killing time before we needed to head to the Papa John's nearby to pick up pizza for dinner.  While we were there, my kids made friends with some other "English" people (Americans) who happened to be doing some shopping, too.  Karis must have talked with these two American women for a total of 10 minutes, but she evidently bonded deeply.  On the way back to the hotel, she continually referred to "Aunt Sarah" and "Aunt Laura."  I finally questioned her on this one, saying something along the lines of, "You sure only knew them for a short time to be calling them Aunt so and so...."  Her response?  "Don't worry, Mom.  It's a TCK thing." (TCK standing for third culture kid, or a kid raised in a culture that is both different from their parent's and their host culture, making their experience living abroad a "third" culture.)  There's a book written years ago by the third culture kid gurus.  I've pulled it out and am re-visiting the content.  A mom can never be too over-prepared!

Karis w best buddy in the mtns.

As I write I’m actually on my way back from an amazing weekend—of more travel!  For my birthday, Kevin sent me off on a plane to meet one of my best friends from Tianjin (where we used to live) in a city in between (Xi’an).  It was such a dear time of refreshment!  Natalie is a friend with whom I connect on a deep, heart level, so time with her always benefits me in so many ways; and we laugh a lot!  So I again got more Tex Mex and won’t admit to how many times we just hung out at Starbucks, sipping our lattes and talking about those big and little things that busy moms just don’t often get around to talking about.  The time with her was a gift that will no doubt be the emotional and social fuel that will keep me going for some time! 

figure out the meaning of this one...

And now the summer schedule for the Joseph Family School has officially begun!  Assuming the kids got their final work for the week done on Friday morning (after I left town on Thursday afternoon), we have wrapped up most of what we needed to accomplish for this year of study.  Partly because we have so little to do around where we live, the kids have agreed that doing some school throughout the summer is okay with them.  So we have this week pretty much off (except for Chinese class that they all still have 4 days a week in the afternoon), and I’ll be putting together final lesson plans for the summer.  Then next week we’ll move to a two day a week schedule, doing Chinese, starting our new language, and working on math, writing, and a bit of reading.  I’m hoping that having some structure will help us all keep our sanity and not get too bored!  We’re still waiting to find out what the summer baseball schedule will look like.  One of the frustrations in working here is the last-minute planning which is so common in this culture.  Kevin hasn’t been able to get confirmation from any of the possible field locations that they can use their facilities for the summer; so we’re on hold, probably until June when the Chinese schools get out (at the end of June).  We’re hoping for a good balance of baseball that’s not quite as intense as last year’s 5 or 6 days a week schedule.  Kevin and the kids were all worn out by the end!  Sure hoping that this summer is cooler and a bit lighter on the baseball end of things….

First Anniversary!

our "lake" in the mountains

We've made it!  Now over a year here in our new city out west.  And we all agreed that definitely called for a celebration!  We had a family meeting and decided that we still should keep celebrating our original anniversary of when we first came to China (Sept. 3 or 4, depending on if you look at it as when we left the US or when we arrived in China!  And depending on which day works out better with our schedule to do the proper celebrating such an occasion demands. :)  So since this NEW anniversary celebration falls on March 24 and the two anniversaries are about 6 months apart (and since the kids have another excuse now to play a family party), we decided to begin the annual tradition of celebrating our XJ anniversary, too.

So what did we do?  Well, unfortunately not much.  We had big plans originally.  I canceled afternoon classes (including Chinese with their tutor, which they are doing 4 days a week now, so a day off is a huge relief; nothing wears out the brain like studying a foreign language!).  Their first request was to go to the zoo--where we've never been.  But since it was still so cold here (not getting up over 45 or 50 degrees), we were informed that most of the animals would still be kept in the indoor facilities.  I wisely had a friend (who knows Karis well) recommend that we wait until the animals were relocated outside, as the indoor facilities are pretty heart-breaking and pathetic.  So our next plan was to go to an aquarium that we heard was pretty good.  I must admit that this struck me as hugely ironic, being as our city is known to be the furthest city from any body of water in the world!  What better place to have an aquarium?!  Now the fact that one of the main features is a mermaid show--that's right--a mermaid show, maybe speaks a bit to the variety of marine life that is housed at this particular aquarium.  But in spite of Kevin's and my hesitation, we decided it would be a fun adventure and undoubtedly provide quite a few laughs.  But alas, the best laid plans of man....  Kevin woke up the morning we planned to celebrate with a high fever and body aches all over.  Thankfully his virus only lasted about a day and a half and no one else caught it, but he was under the weather enough to not be able to go and the kids certainly didn't want to go without him.  So we went to Plan B (or is it now Plan C?).

our kite

We still skipped afternoon classes and the kids and I walked to our favorite western restaurant and they each got milkshakes.  It would have been a great conciliatory celebration, except for the debacle on our way home.  I let the kids run ahead of me when we were a few minutes from home so I could grab the lettuce for our salad that night and a ton of chicken for our Easter celebration we were hosting that weekend.  While the boys ran around outside in our courtyard, Karis took the keys to let herself into the house (haha!  it's an apartment, but in China since we're all in apartments, you can call it a house).  Unfortunately, she took our previous encouragement to put a little more muscle into turning the key in the lock to heart, and accidentally broke the key off in the lock of the front door! I arrived at our doorstep to find her sobbing, so upset at the mistake, freaking out at what to do next.  I banged on the door, which my sleeping, sick husband did not hear from bed.  Then I called him and he came and we developed a plan through the closed door (he was locked inside at this point and we were locked out--with 24 chicken breasts and a head of lettuce in hand).  He was able to take apart all the locking components from inside enough for me to be able to shimmy the broken part of the key out of the lock and get the door open.  We decided (a bit cynically perhaps) later that night that our day was a pretty fitting anniversary celebration!  We like to describe our general feeling throughout the week that "XJ fights back"--it feels like we get kicked in the gut pretty regularly and need to just keep on plugging on along!  We did get to make up the celebration later that week....

And I did make some fun new discoveries!  The kids always plan the menu for our anniversary celebrations, and I've just figured out how to make ricotta cheese, so we had lasagna!  It's amazing how simple it is to make the stuff; I didn't dare attempt doing one more thing from scratch, but this one is so easy that lasagnas might become a regular staple around our house.  My dear friend in TJ who sends us care packages pretty much every week with the import products we can't get out here had sent me both cheesecloth and lasagna noodles, so I was ready to go.  And after you use milk to make the cheese, the leftover milk (called whey, for those of you who are as clueless as I am) can be used in all sorts of baked goods in place of water (like homemade breads, which we do a lot)).  It's supposedly really healthy and adds a fluffiness to baked goods too.  And I had an abundance of mini marshmallows that needed to be used since our hot chocolate days are winding down, so I made the kids' favorite rocky road brownies that have melted marshmallows and icing on top.  I think I'm not used to such sweet desserts anymore--I could handle about a sliver and then had to hand the rest over to my sweet-toothed family to devour!

giving a ride to a friend's daughter

A few days after our attempt at an anniversary celebration, we were able to escape to the mountains unexpectedly.  We found out at the last minute that Kevin couldn't use the baseball field he usually does for his Saturday afternoon baseball clinic.  So since there wasn't time to find an alternate location, we decided to head for the hills.  We threw some peanut butter and crackers and apples in a bag, grabbed the boys pocket knives, and ran out the door.  It was a great day!  In spite of the fact that the roads up to the mountains were largely shut down still, we were able to make a great play place.  Granted, it was pretty much all dirt and rocks, but the kids were in heaven.  We bought a kite along the side of the road on the way and spent the day hiking of ravines and running down the dirt roads trying to get the kite in the air.  When we first arrived at the head of the road where we usually are just entering the mountain park area, we found huge mounds of dirt and rock, barricading the road so you couldn't drive any further.  Waiting there was a herd of Kazakh horsemen, ready to lead you on horseback to the more aesthetic part of the park (for a price!).  After walking up the road on foot, I'm not really sure why the road was closed off.  I will admit to being a bit suspicious that maybe the roadblock was intentional--a ploy to force the callow tourist to get a lift on horseback.  Pretty clever if that was the case!

The next day we hosted an Easter gathering for our foreign friends here in town.  We had a sweet time of fellowship and food.  I was thrilled that the marinade I'd found on-line to tenderize the chicken worked pretty well (it is mainly comprised of egg whites and rice wine), making the chicken not nearly as tough as it's known to be out here!

Dear friends from TJ

This past week we had two guests from Tianjin come to visit.  The first grade teacher at the kids' former international school (she taught 3 of my 4 kids) offered to spend her spring break here with us just overseeing our homeschool day and helping out as she could.  She's also considered the dyslexia specialist for the school, so I was of course thrilled to have her eyes on my "classroom" to give me feedback and counsel.  The other friend who came with her is the oldest daughter (11th grader) of one of my dearest friends.  This young woman is incredibly mature and was an excellent travel buddy for our teacher friend, as well as a gift to our kids to have her company and creativity in play!  So we spent about 2 1/2 days doing school as normal and then of course had to get out of town and show them the grandeur of the mountains we love so dearly.  They ate it up.  And this time we went to a more scenic location that we discovered wasn't technically open yet either.  We were able to drive into the park and then had to park our car.  The place we were trying to get to was another 13 km (about 8 or 9 miles!) uphill!  Thankfully, we found another group of Kazakhs, this time with cars, who we were able to hire for a ride up and back down.  Once we arrived at our destination at the top of the mountain, we didn't see another person the whole time we were there--which was about 3 or 4 hours!  I don't know when I've had that happen here in China before.  The peaceful quiet was truly refreshing for my soul.  I'm not sure if I'm just getting older or if it's China, but man do I relish any moment of quiet I happen to come upon these days...

one of my 4 monkeys (in a neighbor's courtyard)

This week has felt especially full with many of our friends in our community coming and going.  We have two families who have been Stateside for 3 months or so returning, and two more who are leaving.  Because getting food here (both the actually finding of it and the preparation) is so challenging, there is never a shortage of food needed during these times of transition, so I've been busy in the kitchen trying to help lend a hand where possible.  We've had guests or delivered 2 meals and some banana bread already and have 2 more to go before the weekend is over.  I'm thankful that we are at the stage where I have such good helpers!  Karis made her own batch of no-bake cookies (no eggs so you can eat the raw cookie dough) and Noah is more than happy to help me peel carrots and potatoes--for a price!  (But he's cheap--I can get him to do about 8 carrots for 1 kuai, which is about 1/6 of a dollar!)

So spring is in full bloom here.  The weather has been beautiful (although it's cold enough today that Kevin came home looking for his long underwear that have been packed away under the bed again!).  The kids have been loving getting to be outdoors, the snow has melted, and we've even got grass growing now (in a few small spots anyway) so they're not coming in as covered in mud as they were.

***News flash:  I'm having to amend that last paragraph already!  While walking home from the coffee shop where I was writing this entry, I made a sad discovery.  The powers that be in our apartment complex are obviously pretty intent about keeping kids off the grass here at all cost.  The largest area that the kids did have to play--usually soccer, as that is the most popular sport here--has now been barricaded off with a line of large bushes!  They not only lined the whole perimeter with the impenetrable foliage, they also put a big one (not pretty, though) smack-dab in the middle of the "field"!  So sad.  Seems like surely they could sacrifice the grass in one small plot to allow the kids a spot to play.... :(

We're winding down with school--only about 5 weeks left in our curriculum (but don't tell the kids that!).  We'll continue with a bit of a summer school schedule here, too, mainly focusing on language.  The kids are making such progress with their Chinese that we'll keep going through the summer, only dropping down from 4 days a week to 2.  The kids and I also are looking for a tutor to teach us all together (since we're all beginners) the U language that is so prevalent around us.  We're all ready to start understanding more of what is going on around us!  That's about it from our end, but I'm sure I'll have more adventures to report in no time. :)

Cross-Cultural Chaos

It seems that we've had a string of pretty humorous cross-cultural interactions of late.  I'm sure not complaining!  This is good because it means a couple of things.  First of all, it means that we have at least SOME cross-cultural interaction (rather than hiding inside and baking chocolate chip cookies every day to escape what can sometimes feel overwhelming as we try to learn and embrace a new language and culture).  Secondly, it means that I haven't acculturated to the extent that I don't notice these "peculiarities" to a "normal" American!  I'm at least somewhat aware (even if not acutely so) of some of the differences to what would seem normal to a person in the US.  So here they are.  A few of our favorite moments from the last few weeks....

Karis w/ one of her besties--Trapper!

Sunday afternoons I try to go "a callin" on neighbors--visiting a family or two who live in our complex and bringing them some small gift, usually something I've baked.  This seems to go over really well, and I think it's serving to deepen some already existing friendships and help develop newer ones.  With so much of my time during the week spent grinding through a full school day with the kids, the weekends tend to be my best time to have a longer period of free time in case an "a callin" visit turns into more than just a quick hello at someone's front doorstep.  Well, a few weeks ago it did get a bit extended.  One of our favorite neighbors was so excited to have us drop in and our timing was perfect--she'd just finished frying up a "huo yu" (which literally means, "live fish").  I panicked a bit.  I'm NOT a fish fan--at least not in China, where it is guaranteed to have bones all over (they even have a special tool at all the local hospitals for removing the bones that get stuck in your throat; most of my local friends have had the experience of going in for just such a procedure) and usually still has all the scales and face on it, too.  And then the fact that she used the word "live" freaked me out as well.  I kept hoping I had misunderstood her Chinese and maybe it was another word...But thankfully, although I was right in my translation of the word "live," it was only alive when it was brought to her.  The killing and frying had already taken place.  And even the face/head was removed.  Not so much the tail, scales, or bones, but I had an incredible opportunity to grow in appreciation for Karis and her great attitude.  She downed not just one piece of the bony fish, but happily agreed to a second when it was offered.  (BTW, this was at about 4 pm--not my idea of a tea time snack and we were certainly not eating at a meal-time hour!)  Following my daughter's lead, I managed to eat a second helping, using my fingers to reach into my mouth and pull out all the teeny-tiny bones that I kept accidentally chomping into in between trying to hold a conversation in NOT my native tongue.  Whew!  I was exhausted by the time we left.  But incredibly thankful for such a go-getter daughter who smiled throughout the whole thing, in spite of the fact that she had the tail (which was pretty much all scales) for the second serving!

Cookie decorating--complete w/ headband in place!

Karis and I made another weekend visit to a neighbor's home who also has an 11 year old daughter.  I have just grown to love this sweet girl, and she seems to enjoy coming to our home (after she warms up a little at the rowdiness that 3 younger brothers bring into a home!).  We stopped in on the neighbor to ask the daughter to come and help us decorate cookies.  While we waited for Karis' friend to gather her things, the mom disappeared into a bedroom and returned within a minute, promptly brushing Karis' hair back (which was of course down and free-flowing, which is her usual style--one that takes hardly any maintenance in the mornings!) with her hands and then placing a head band with a large bow on it right on her.  We were so tickled!  I kept trying to imagine that happening at any of my friend's doorways in Dallas!  Karis took the grooming and the hint at her need of an accessory all in stride, and even knew to keep the headband in place until her friend went home (when we were both a bit confused about if we should return the head band or not; we tried, and when the mom insisted we kept it, she stuck it back atop her head).  Guess now we know that more accessories are better...

What we do for fun--can you find all 5 Josephs (including the cat)?

The next day I saw the girl's mother as we both headed to the market stores at the same time.  I'm not sure about the details, but this mother is supposedly somewhat well-known throughout the city, being some sort of TV personality.  So she seems to be a bit of a strong personality, and definitely comes across as a really confident woman.  When we started chatting about her daughter, I was so saddened when she immediately began to compare her precious 11 year old with her 4 year old younger sister.  In Chinese culture, it's totally normal to compare kids and to have favorites (we're regularly asked which of our four kids is our favorite).  But I didn't know that it is obviously the norm in the U culture as well, so I was shocked when the mother was explaining to me how great her 4 year old is because she has such an outgoing personality and loves to dance and sing, whereas her 11 year old is reserved and shy (and small for her age).  This broke my heart, and I was completely frustrated by my lack of ability to go on and on about how precious I think the 11 year old is!  I just didn't have the words in Chinese that I needed.  I gave it all I could to pump her up, and then returned home with a new fervor to study more--to get those adjectives that I wanted to share what a gift that little girl is!  Look out lady; I've got the vocab now and am armed and ready for another "bash your kid" session to be shot to pieces!  And I'm thinking what a great opportunity to invest in a precious little girl who undoubtedly feels the favoritism in her home; I'm just not sure how that wouldn't be a major shaping influence on any child's life.

Table set and ready for guests--always!  A sign of being hospitable...

I'm finally figuring out how hospitality works in this culture.  Or maybe I should say, "starting to figure out..."  It's complicated and such a high value that it takes serious study in order to do it well and not offend.  This past week we had a neighbor family give us a huge honor--they brought us some of their dinner!  Just at dinner time, one of their kids showed up with a plate filled with spring rolls that they had made.  They left the food and the plate with us and scooted back to their home for their own supper.  I've heard that delivering whatever you're eating to good friends is a way of showing hospitality to close friends, so I was delighted to see that some of my times spent "a callin" and delivering banana bread and chocolate chip cookies was seemingly being reciprocated!  Now I will confess that this prompted an additional purchase this week, too.  I'm a little leery of how the whole "drop your dish off with the food on it" works, specifically in regard to returning the plate.  I know in theory you are supposed to put something else that you've made on the dish and return it; but the problem is what if they don't do so?  Or what if it takes a month to return?  Not sure what the statute of limitations is on returning the plate, but I don't have that many to spare, and I'm kind of partial to my Corelle set that is all matching.  So all that to say, I decided to purchase a "song-ing" (the Chinese word for deliver-ing) platter and bowl and make food delivery another part of my routine.  We'll see how the neighbors like my western cooking!  (I did eat a bite of the spring rolls--which I confess, I hate! The seaweed wrapper just does me in every time...and I ended up spitting the bite into the trash.  Don't tell my kids, I just couldn't get it down.)

Boys lunch during one of the "sick days"

I've mentioned before how crazy the ideas of what causes sickness are around here.  Well, springs where we live are strange as far as the weather goes.  It's still in the 30's most days, but then it can occasionally jump up into the 50's.  These rapid changes in temperature are NOT okay with our Chinese neighbors--we are all destined for major illness!!!  So even if it's up in the 50's, you're going to see people dressed in their full down (or fur) coats, along with all the cold-weather accessories you can imagine.  Our good friends have two of their kids still in Chinese school, and we all kind of cracked up when they canceled school for 3 days (that just never happens here) because a quarter of the class was sick.  The reason--they all needed to stay home and indoors because being out in the weather change was making the whole school get under the weather!  No mention of washing hands or spreading germs, but it was all contingent upon the rapid fluctuation in the temperature being too much to endure!  And even more funny was that at the same school where the sick germs were obviously circulating, another one of the kids (also with a good number of sickies in her class) had a party.  One in which they were doing cooking together!  Guess what they made?  Fruit salad!  When the fruit salad was prepared, the whole class enjoyed it--all out of one bowl, which is typical Chinese style of eating!

What we do for fun on long, cold winter days!

When I went "a callin" this past weekend, the neighbors I visited shared that their two little kids were sick and they were about to head to the hospital.  I expected the kids to be acting pretty puny, so I was surprised as I hurriedly downed my cup of tea (I wasn't sure if I needed to finish the whole thing in order to be polite!) and watched the little boy and girl bouncing around the room, giggling happily together.  They had had fevers for the past two days, so the normal is to take your kid to the hospital and get an IV for them!  How extreme does that seem for us?  Eating and drinking normally, but a slight fever for a few days leads to a day or more in the hospital!  My kids are thankful we haven't followed the traditional eastern ideas for medicine...

Bball in the COLD!

Our weekends have been especially full as of late.  Usually Kevin has baseball on Saturday afternoons, so he heads off with a carful of kids--literally up to 10 at a time in our smallish mini-van--along with another coach or two and a rear end filled with all the required equipment.  The last few weekends the temps have been above freezing and there have been more kids than usual showing up, so they've moved to having their practices outside rather than the indoor, underground facility that has pillars scattered throughout, making the view from second base to the batter's box somewhat of a challenge.  So last weekend I went along to help out; Kevin even let me borrow one of his gloves with his name stitched on it! :)  I was shocked by a few things:  1) how cold it was once the sun had gone down a bit (you can see the snow still surrounding the turf field we use in the picture), and 2) how MOST of the kids who come have little to no coordination!  It's amazing to see how most of the kids in the 6-8 year old bracket can't begin to catch or throw a ball to save their lives.  Participation in regular sports here is such an anomaly that the kids just don't develop what we totally take for granted as being "normal" in the US.  So I did a lot of running and chasing balls that were so far out of my reach I didn't have a chance to get to them!  One of our neighbors is a 16 year old and he was explaining to us this past weekend how he has to study for a basketball test.  We're still confused on the details, but it sounds like he has no basketball classes or instruction, yet somehow he has to take a test (we're still not sure if it's just a written exam or an actual skills test) in a few weeks!  The Chinese educational system does love tests...

Kevin's extra clinic for adults--loving to act like kids!

English lesson in session in our living room

Before baseball practice Karis and Eli have discovered a new way to earn a few bucks.  They are teaching English lessons to a neighbor!  One of the moms that I've gotten to know has been asking me for months if we're sure we don't have time to have her son come over and just do school with my kids.  Now, this young man doesn't speak a lick of English, so I was pretty sure that it might cramp my regular homeschool routine (which is all in English, except when the Chinese tutor comes in the afternoons four days a week).  But I did finally tell her that Karis and Eli have been wanting to 1) teach, and 2) make some spending money, and she jumped at the chance!  So 4 weeks ago the kids started preparing lessons, each of them teaching for a half-hour (so it's a total of an hour for their young friend).  It's worked out so well!  The kids have really surprised me with how responsible they've been, working during the week to prepare power point presentations to present new material, games for them to play to practice vocab, and even homework for him to take home and bring back the following week.  His mom seems pleased and the little guys seems to love it also, and Karis and Eli each earn the equivalent of several dollars every week that they can spend at their discretion.

The start of the problem....

...and the counter-flow solution.

And the last crazy cultural moment was just this morning.  I was sitting in my nook, the really small space off our master bedroom where I do my morning reading, when mayhem ensued below.  People yelling (that I could hear our closed windows, eight floors above the commotion), horns blaring, dogs barking.  I stopped my reading to check out the scene only to find that someone was obviously staging a protest right at our apartment complex's exit gate.  Their car was parked there and they weren't budging!  This happens pretty frequently when there's a dispute over payment that needs to be made before the security guard allows the vehicle to leave.  Well this morning it had everyone backed up for quite a distance, right at the hour when people were trying to get to work.  The solution?  Move one of the somewhat portable flower fixtures so that the cars could squeeze through (if they went VERY slowly) to get to the other side of the guard house and go out the entrance of the complex.  What a mess!  Cars continued to blast their horns and even the older dancing ladies who meet in the courtyard daily to exercise through dance paused to observe what sort of fight might break out.  I think we did avoid that this time, but the cars certainly passed slowly through those planters.  Ahhh.  Never a dull moment!