Chopstick Rookies

Thailand Adventure

2012-02-07T04:29:00.000-08:00

Our family has just returned from two wonderful weeks in Thailand. The first week we spent basking in the sunshine on a remote beach at our family's favorite vacation spot on this side of the globe. We spent days swimming, catching hermit crabs, avoiding tiny jelly fish, fishing at 6am in the morning, hiking in a breath-taking cave in a national park, and feeding fruit to the wild monkeys on Monkey Island. It was fantastic! We had sweet family time, and even got to share it with Lief, Kevin's best friend here in China who came with us for the first 5 days. It was his first time out of the country to such a place, and hearing his take on things was fascinating and eye-opening for Kevin and me. I don't even think of culture shock as being something you would deal with in going from China to tropical paradise--and yet he did for sure! On one of our first days there we drove about 45 minutes to the nearest larger city for dinner, and Lief asked us on the way where all the tall buildings were. We reminded him that there weren't nearly as many people in Thailand as China, so therefore there was no need for the sky scrapers that literally cover the horizon of every Chinese city Lief has ever been to. But the question sure brought our environment into a whole new light for Kevin and I as we tried to experience it all through Lief's eyes!

Our second week was spent meeting with friends, who have become dear to us over the years. We had another great week of getting encouraged and fed, even though the only wild monkeys present at this location were our own kids! It sure filled their tanks to have such sweet time interacting with other ex-pat kids to whom they can really connect with on a deeper level.

Since we've returned, we've been battling our own fair dose of culture shock! We got into the Beijing airport at 2 am after our flight was an hour late, only to discover that our driver just didn't show up to get us (even after Kevin had gotten a texted confirmation from him that day!). No explanation when Kevin called him at 2 am from the airport, just a statement that he was at home in Tianjin--a 3-hour drive away from where we were waiting! With kids literally melting down in exhaustion and a couple new to China along with us, we scrambled to figure out how to get 8 people and all our luggage back to our city. We eventually came up with 2 drivers who liked to smoke, didn't really know the route to get us home, and charged us a small fortune for the incredibly-cramped 3 hour drive they took us on. We DID eventually arrive safely home and crawled in bed at 6:30 am, thankful that our kids too were tired enough to get several hours of sleep in before they were up and at 'em, ready to play with their own toys again after their absence. We had a low-key rest day on Sunday, which was much needed as they all started back to school on Monday.

One other aspect of our culture shock has been the continuing of the Chinese New Year celebration. It is CRAZY here! I only wish I could record the exploding fireworks that are constantly exploding all around us. Last night they started by 6pm and were still continuing when I awakened at about midnight. And not just a few--but literally non-stop. The kids entertained themselves after dinner by running from one widow to another within the apartment to see which display of fireworks at the moment was most eye-catching. Any direction you looked, there were at least half a dozen being set off--and of all varieties. Everything from the loud ones that boom with such force they fairly shake the walls, to the bright exploding colors that shower down all around you. I chuckled as I walked the kids from the bus stop. There, in the open courtyard of our building, was a stand filled with fire extinguishers for public use! I was trying to imagine such unrestricted use of fireworks any where in the US. I also shuddered when I considered what my sister (an ER nurse) had told me about the 4th of July in the US and the number of burn victims that came in on that particular night; I can only imagine with the lack of expertise and the prevalence of their use here that the injuries are much worse and much more common!

In addition to dodging the fire extinguishers and piles of rubbish all over left from the debris of the fireworks, we also were dodging piles of vomit all over the ground. I can only assume that drinking here at this time is also at an all-time high, as the revelry seems to take whatever form is most raucous. Instead of the kids just calling out the common warning of "Watch the poop!" as we made our usual trek to the bus stop, it was coupled with "Watch the throw up!" as well over the last few mornings....Must say there are a few aspects of Thailand that I prefer to China (besides the warm sunshine and clear blue skies!).... :)

Bike Ride

2012-01-16T04:18:00.000-08:00

The kids have been riding their bikes more and more lately in our apartment courtyard area. (And I should note that this is largely due to our unusually warm winter we've enjoyed! It has yet to really snow, and the temperatures have gotten above freezing most days, which is incredibly different from our last two year here.) So Kevin and I decided that the older two were ready for a real challenge, and we proposed the idea of riding bikes together to the McDonalds that is probably about 2 miles away from our home. The kids LOVED the idea, so on Saturday morning, we took off with the older two wearing their helmets and the little two boys on the backs of Kevin's and my bike. We sure didn't set any speed records on our journey, but made it across the railroad tracks, through some pretty hairy intersections, and the entire distance (with only one or two stops to rest our legs!) with everyone still alive at the end! I realized during our trek that Eli is definitely in need of a larger bike with bigger wheels. The poor thing had to peddle about 10 times for every 1 the rest of us had to make (even including Karis!), so his cheeks were quite flushed and he was sweating pretty much by the time we arrived to enjoy our chicken nuggets and cheeseburgers.

Besides our bike adventure, our week has been a slower-paced one than usual. We entertained some of our Chinese friends for dinner on Friday night. One of the funnier moments was when one friend asked another friend if she was pregnant. The girl being asked actually was, but very few people knew about it at that point! And we still can't figure out how the one asking knew about the pregnancy. She assured us she hadn't heard from anyone else, she could just "tell"! (And since the one pregnant is so early on, there are no outward signs yet at this point.) It was pretty funny, and pretty awkward, too! This let to some other interesting conversations. One being her sharing with me the ideas in Chinese medicine of why you have indigestion when you're pregnant--especially during your 3rd trimester. That is when the baby is growing hair on it's head, which is the direct cause of the mother's indigestion. Hmmmm....

The other thing that rocked my world was hearing this friend talk about another good friend of hers who is also pregnant. The friend is 39 weeks already, and is having a very difficult time eating much because her indigestion is so uncomfortable (nothing unusual there!)! What is unusual, is my friend's display of friendship to this girl. The pregnant friend feels like she can eat more and with less discomfort when our mutual friend is around. Therefore, my friend, who is a police officer and has an incredibly busy work schedule, on top of big family demands, etc., travels to Beijing two times a week simply to sit with her pregnant friend while she eats! (It's only a 40 minute train ride between our cities, but there's always additional travel time, including sub way, taxi, etc, which would probably make her travel time closer to 1 1/2 or 2 hours each way.) Talk about loyalty! The Chinese culture takes the loyalty amongst friends to a whole new level!

We've continued to enjoy my "running machine"--or my "big toy" as Noah refers to it. You can see his favorite way to exercise these days (normally right before bath time!) from the photo! (never mind--my husband just censored the half-nude shot from behind!) The other pics are of the kids' creations they made out of marshmellows and toothpicks (which turned in to part of their afternoon snack, as I'm sure you can imagine!) None of the structures actually could fit into the mugs of hot chocolate that went along with their afternoon treat, but that didn't seem to bother them in the least!

The rest of this week has been busy preparing to leave town. We head to Thailand in a few days and are counting down the time til we are in the sun, the clean air, and enjoying a brief break from our usual routine! Next post should have a slightly different background that the normal skyline of Tianjin... :)

Ants in my sugar

2012-01-09T04:03:00.000-08:00

I put the phone down for a minute to run into the kitchen (our phone only works in a few spots in the house, and the kitchen is not one of them!) to get some hot tea during a phone date with a friend from the US. I ran back to the phone 1 minute later, laughing as I explained to my friend that I'd just fished out an ant or two from the sugar jar I was using to sweeten my tea--and the funny part was that it didn't bother me in the slightest! I hope this doesn't gross anyone out (or deter any potential visitors to our side of the pond!), but it just caused me to reflect on how many changes I've endured the last two and a half years--both in my life experiences and "normals" and also inside me. I won't belabor the point here, but suffice it to say that I feel like after living in a cross-cultural environment for this amount of time, I've kind of crossed the point of no return and have undergone some serious remodeling both inside and out. One way I saw this again was during our fellowship time at our International Fellowship on the morning of Jan. 1st. We had a university choir in town visiting from Kenya, and it was an experience to say the least! Our congregation is made up of about 300 each week, and a large number of those in attendance are students here studying (different subjects, but lots studying medicine of some sort) from Africa. And let me tell you, the place was rockin'! I don' think there was a single person in the place who wasn't at least trying to move to the beat that was being led from up front by this group of young people. And our African brothers and sisters were elated--the joy at being able to worship in a style and manner that said "home" to them was written all over their faces (and every other part of their body that jammed to the beat coming off the drums). It was amazing. Conga lines through the aisles. Brilliant white smiles lighting up every face in the room. Hands in the air, waving, clapping. I stood with tears in my eyes thanking Him for this opportunity--to worship with so many others whose backgrounds and stories are so unique and different from mine. I thought--if we had to leave China, is it even possible that our family could return to our old "normal"--to the live we lived in suburban Dallas for several years? Thankfully this is not a question that begs an answer any time soon, so for now I can rest in knowing His grace is sufficient, and although I may be fishing ants out of my sugar, I can rejoice in the fresh perspective He gives me daily on what things are of importance and value.

Two of those things of value: good friends and hot pot! Our family celebrated New Year's Eve with a huge bang (well, kind of!). We walked to a restaurant Kevin and recently discovered that has hot pot (like fondue) with friends here who are like grandparents to our kids (Rob and Barb). This was a first for the kids, and it was a smashing success (except that Hudson was not crazy about the meal and ended up eating about 6 oranges and bucket-fulls of Sprite for his dinner rather than the meat and vegetables intended to go in the hot pot)! We made it through the evening without anyone even getting burned from the hot pots that were in front of them, and the kids are already asking when we can go back. Should be a fun new family tradition we've begun!

Then this past weekend we had another fun first--Kevin and I taking a night away! We asked friends several weeks ago if they would be willing to watch the kids overnight for Kevin and I to take off for the evening to celebrate our 10th anniversary. Our friends were more than willing, and the kids were so excited to have "their" friends come over (all grown-ups, of course!) Kevin and I made the most of our night out--starting with foot massages (in matching outfits, as modeled by Kevin in the photo!), dinner at our favorite Thai food restaurant, Starbucks' lattes, window shopping in the main shopping area of town, sleeping in at a hotel (that even had comfortable pillows, unlike the usual bean-filled ones at most Chinese hotels), and a lingering reading time over coffee in the morning before heading home to the usual chaos of the Joseph household! It was a huge blessing to be able to take off just the two of us, and even more so to be able to know that the kids were not only well-taken care of in our absence, but also that they were having a great time with us being gone. We definitely didn't spend all of our time in this vein of discussion, but Kevin and I both agreed that as much as we LOVED our time away together, it was also amazing how much we missed having the kids around! We recognize that our little ones are FAR from perfect, but man, they sure are precious to be around and an incredible blessing in our lives that we are much aware of! And being apart makes the reminder that much more vivid!! Good thing we still have another 3 full weeks of winter break to soak in the intense "togetherness"!

The last photo is Karis and Eli on my Christmas/anniversary present--a running machine (or treadmill, as those of you who speak English may call it!). The word for it in Chinese translates directly into running machine, and for the life of me, I can't stop calling it that even when I'm trying to use English! So we've renamed the machine in our house. And I am super excited to put it to use! After battling the cold and the only gym in our area closing this weather (not to mention the pollution you feel when running outdoors), we finally broke down and decided to make the big purchase. The kids have already put more mileage on it than I have, but I plan on wrapping up this writing now, wiping off the bottom of my China-yucky running shoes, and taking a spin on my new running machine all on my own! Ahh, the little things!!

Christmas

2011-12-29T05:09:00.000-08:00

Our celebrating this year took on a whole new meaning. A few days before Christmas we met up with our two closest western friends here (Sam and Charis, and Andy and Natalie and their two kids, Jenda and Blaise), grabbed some McDonald's to eat on the way, and had a hired driver in a 16-passenger van drive us about an hour and a half away to an orphanage in a nearby town. We had several of the seats in the van filled with toys, diapers, and some clothing items that the orphanage coordinator had requested. The 3 hours that we spent there with the kids and touring the facility was absolutely amazing--more than we could have asked for or imagined as far as an "experience" that was incredibly life-changing and fulfilling for all of us involved. We had literally only walked up the steps and through the child gate on the second floor when we were swarmed with Chinese toddlers, all lifting their hands up with huge grins on their faces. The experience was so surreal that we all agreed that we had wondered at the time if the kids were put up to such lovable behavior by the women in charge of the kids or if it was instigated by themselves alone! Our time with the kids over the next several hours made us believe that it was genuine--with no one forcing or even encouraging these kids to reach out and embrace us with such warmth and enthusiasm.

Each of the kids at the orphanage we visited (called Shepherd's Field in Lang Fang) had some sort of disability. The orphanage housed between 70 and 90 kids at a time, ranging in age from a few months old to 18 years. We were blown away by how well-run everything seemed to be, and how much the staff seemed to care about the children there. The facility itself was remarkable, and we were told it was started by foreigners and has a huge financial support system in the States. The people we met who worked there were all like-minded on important things, and the love they had for the children was evident in the way they cared for them.

I was amused by our kids' response to the experience as we reflected on it over dinner upon our return that night. When we asked the kids what they thought, Eli immediately responded that "Dad sure did like being there!" When we asked him what made him think so, he explained that he was constantly holding little kids or playing with them when we were there (which was true; in fact I couldn't even get to my camera before Kevin had two little toddlers in his arms immediately upon our arrival in the first dorm we visited). Neither Kevin nor I are what I would call "kid people"; we love kids, but don't naturally warm up to them or get re-energized from spending lots of time with them like some friends we have. But when Kevin reminded our kids that those children didn't have mommies or daddies to hold them whenever they wanted, it really struck a chord in them. Kevin asked them to think about how many times in a day they wanted Mom or Dad to hug them or hold them; then explained that theses kids NEVER had a mom or dad to go to when they felt that way. It was silent in the room for a minute while our kids processed this--which is a small miracle in and of itself! Other than Noah pushing through his normal afternoon naptime and having some seriously cranky behavior as a result, our kids did really well playing with the other kids and handing off Christmas gifts to the kids at Shepherd's Field.

Besides our big trip to the orphanage, we got to do some more celebrating with friends for Christmas. On Friday before Christmas I hosted a cookie decorating party for some of the kids friends at our house. Talk about being thankful for holiday care packages with baking goodies I can share with friends! On Christmas Eve we hosted a brunch with some of our western friends--26 of them in all!--and enjoyed a feast and a time of fellowship, complete with egg nog and some special mint coffee (also courtesy of a care package!). Christmas Eve night we ordered jiaozi from a nearby restaurant (a staple in the Chinese diet, and one of our families' favorite foods to eat these days!) and managed to catch a taxi to get to Gymboree, the place where Kevin's best friend Lief teaches toddlers English. Gymboree was having a big Christmas Eve party and Lief and his boss, who we've become friends with, really wanted our family to attend (the western faces in the crowd!). We stuck around for over an hour with our friends Sam and Charis, laughing at how "Chinese-ee" it was, meaning that the party was filled with games and silly dances and performances, before heading home to finish preparing for Christmas morning. Christmas Eve here is treated more like a holiday than Christmas day is, with stores staying open all night on the 24th for shopping and a general party atmosphere wherever you go--lots of revelry and even some fireworks in the streets! My ayi explained to me that this is because the Chinese compare American's Christmas to the Chinese New Year--during which the celebrating actually starts the day before the New Year and goes on throughout the night, in spite of how old you are or what your usual bedtime is! She was shocked when I told her that this is not how we do it in the US! Especially if you have kids, you're aiming for an earlier bedtime on the 24th so you can get up early for the opening of gifts on the 25th.

On Christmas day we decided to stay home from our usual fellowship (we always feel rushed getting out the door by 9:30 and can never get home before 1:30, so knew that it would take up our whole morning and decided on family worship at home instead). After a big breakfast and opening of gifts (which the kids had an abundance of, thanks to the grandparents and their generous care packages!), we had a lazy afternoon of lounging around in our pj's (I had matching pj pants made for the whole family; a luxury of living here in China! I was able to buy the flannel at a fabric market and had a seamstress come to the house and measure and custom-make the pants for each of us to wear with our white t-shirts. I know, a little cheesy, but even Kevin was willing to participate to humor his wife [probably fearing a potential homesick meltdown if he didn't!]). We did change clothes in the afternoon for me to do a quick jog and the 3 older kids to ride bikes along with me through our apartment community. We were sooooooo thankful for the weather! We haven't even had our first snow yet, and the temps are regularly in the upper 30's! We'll take it!

Christmas night we had our two closest friends again (Sam and Charis and Andy and Natalie and kids) over for dinner. I made lots of my favorite comfort foods (my mother-in-law's pork tenderloin recipe with jelly I asked her to mail me from the US, twice baked potatoes, cinnamon red hot jello salad, green salad with FETA cheese on top--which was a HUGE treat, as you don't come by feta very often here at all, and even a chocolate pie for dessert). Can you see why I had a jog that afternoon?!

Christmas was a sweet time. It was simple. It was refreshing rather than exhausting. It was great time building Magna Tile towers and playing Sorry with the kids. There were moments when we all had that knot in the pit of the stomach feeling that never seems to quite go away when you live so far from "home" and family, but it was a sweet time of remembering what is important, why we are here, His goodness in it all, and the joy of the friends He's given us on this side of the ocean!

Let the Celebrating Begin!

2011-12-16T23:45:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that Christmas is only a week away now! It's amazing how quickly it comes! Seems like only yesterday that we were packing our bags for our first trip back to the US for Christmas last year. While we are definitely feeling the miles of distance between us and those Stateside, we're also really loving so many aspects of the intentionality of celebrating the season on this side of the ocean!

This past week we had a few celebrations: Eli and Hud had their school Christmas performance--and it was precious! Some of the pictures are from there, including the one with Ms. Barbara in it (the kids surrogate grandmother here in China, who has yet to miss one of their special events!). I also had a morning off from our usual family time last Saturday when I got together with a group of Western friends for a cookie and soup exchange and luncheon. We had sweet time enjoying one another's company, eating, and even exchanging gifts (usually fun finds that are hard to come by here--a bag of coffee, a full-sized mug, non-gaudy earrings, etc.). After the luncheon, I took off for my last study with a group of Chinese moms (as shown in the other photo--with my Western (and Aggie! Whoop!) friend, Natalie--who helped me lead the month-long study we did.) More on the study later...

I thought I'd include some of my favorite snapshots from the week that came from each one of the boys. Noah's was a few days ago as we were walking through our apartment community to bring some food to a friend. Karis was kicking the soccer ball on the way, and kicked the ball close to a little Chinese boy out with his grandpa (he was probably about 3 or 4 years old). The ball obviously startled him when it rolled past, and he responded with sort of a yelp! Noah's reaction was to immediately cry out to him, "LOOK OUT, GEGE!" (Gege is the Chinese word for older brother!) It was so quick and so natural, Karis and I both burst out laughing, especially since it seemed so odd as this word in particular is NOT part of our usual Chinese vocabulary. I'm guessing he's just practiced with Ayi, but I was unaware that he even knew what the word meant! Hudson's came on our walk to school on Thursday morning. He was telling a story--which is not at all a-typical for him. He was explaining to me what had happened on the episode of Tom and Jerry he had watched the previous afternoon (in Mandarin, of course). He explained to me that Jerry had come down with a bad case of leprosy, even getting it in his mouth! I stopped Hud and told him that he probably had the chicken pox, not leprosy, but he was convinced of his diagnosis! Eli's was this morning, as we were preparing to go shopping for Christmas presents we are taking to an orphanage next week (sure you will have a full post on that one next week!). During our discussion, he very pointedly asked me, "Mom, when are we going to get one?" I responded with, "One what?", assuming he was referring to a specific gift or something. He shocked me by saying instead, "An orphan." After I put my eyes back in their sockets and caught my breath, I asked him what made him think we were going to "get one". He stated very simply that he'd heard me mention it before (as Kevin and I have talked about the possibility of adopting some day). This prompted a very interesting discussion in which I talked with the boys (who were the only ones at the table at the time) about the possibility of us adding to our family through adoption, what this might look like, and their thoughts on the matter. It was pretty precious, them discussing the pro's and con's of another brother vs. a sister, the possibility of it being a child with extra emotional or physical needs, etc. They then explained to me that they knew all about adoption because of how many friends we have who have done so--elaborating on one family we know who lives in Shanghai and has 10 kids (I think 2 or 3 are adopted), one of whom is missing a few digits on one of his hands. The boy from Shanghai and his brothers had apparently told Eli and Hud last year when we were with them that the boys missing the digits had had dipped his fingers in a pool of water and had them bitten off by piranhas! After I stopped laughing, I was able to argue with my boys that I was quite certain this was not the real story, but only the brothers having fun and having a good attitude about something that could be a real downer in one's life.

So back to the parenting study. It finished up, I am happy to say, a total success. So much so that the ladies were really wanting to continue meeting. As much as I LOVED the time with them, it was also a big burden on Kevin and a lot of time away from the family. So we left it with me encouraging them to continue meeting together and encouraging one another (which they were very open to doing) and then maybe re-upping to meet again for a series of weeks in the Spring. I don't know of any other activity I've participated in here that has felt like a more natural bridge to building relationships and talking about things of importance. And it is sooooooo needed here! I was amazed each week at how the "normal" things that we think every parent knows just aren't talked about or considered here. Things like giving your kids boundaries or limits (or telling them "no" to anything at all!), teaching them B verses, communicating with them, finding out how they best feel loved and giving that to them, all these things are simply not known or practiced. It was so encouraging to see these women take simple basic truths and try to apply them each week, then come back and share their stories. We spent a lot of time laughing (at least they did--the parts I could understand, I was laughing along with them!). And the study was a HUGE help to my language learning. I tried to do most of the teaching time in Chinese, with resorting to Chinglish as needed and an occasional clarification in English, which I could get away with as all the ladies spoke at least some English themselves. And I also had Natalie there as my crutch--her language is incredible and we prepped together a lot, so she could help me in a bind. I found as I was lying awake one night this week not able to sleep for some reason, that as I practiced Chinese in my head, for the first time I was able to express my heart about what I feel like is important in raising kids in Mandarin. And this is a really big deal because I literally have opportunities almost every day to use this kind of language to open doors--people asking about which kid is my favorite, how beautiful they are, how important the outward appearance and their success in the world is, etc. All these things that go along with a godless culture that I see as signs of being so lost, I now have the ability to explain that there is more out there than the empty and vain pursuit of what the world has to offer! It's exciting and invigorating all at once!

I'd better head to wake Noah up from his nap. We have dinner guests coming shortly--a girl headed to the US for a time of study whose parents are both coaches of the professional athletes in town (one coaches trampoline and one softball). Kevin assures me that in spite of it being a little uncomfortable for us to host this crew (they are what we call, "full Chinese", meaning they don't really have other Westerners they hang out with, so aren't used to our custom and food differences!), it will hopefully be a beneficial relationship in which to invest! Sure to have more fun stories as a result... :)

Here With Us

2011-12-05T05:35:00.000-08:00

I just made a big purchase this weekend--a ($.99) song off of iTunes--Joy Williams "Here With Us". Most of you probably know this one well, as it is become quite popular to hear during Christmas time. I'm not too embarrassed to say that I've pretty much had it on repeat the last two days. It has been a poignant reminder to me of His abiding presence--something I've needed to experience as of late in a way more intense than my "normal". I think I've mentioned before that one of the blessings of being here in China is that we are away from the commercialization that comes with the holiday celebrating typical of the States. And it really is a blessing in so many ways. Without trying to create too much distance and give the persona that the Joseph family has arrived at some sort of spiritual level higher than the rest, the simplicity of the season, the lack of many materials things here we would WANT to spend much money on, and the fact that so many around us have so little in comparison make it relatively easy to truly say from our hearts that our Christmas wish lists are quite short. So I am thankful for being here in China during the holiday season largely for these reasons.

I will add, however, that the times of being away from family and dear friends around holidays is that much more felt on an emotional level. Add that to the fact that Kevin and I are both feeling the weight of the burdens we feel many close friends around us right now are dealing with, and I have to admit that I was feeling a bit of a knot in my stomach this morning. A feeling of restlessness. Anxiety. Like I had something to do that I'd forgotten or somewhere I should be going. I was very subtly convicted when Kevin returned home from class. After asking how I was and if he could do anything to encourage me, he offered to help however he could and give me time to go shopping or have some girl time if I needed it. I immediately started laughing, thinking back to how I'd spent at least some of the previous two hours that he'd been away from home--partly looking through recipes (all desserts!) that could all qualify as comfort foods by anyone's standards; and partly looking at clothes on-line! I might add that this is something I RARELY do (like maybe once a year!), and that it's also probably good that international shipping is too expensive to make purchasing anything much of a reality!!

So after noting that even though I thought I was doing great, I had actively participated in two activities (baking/eating and shopping) that were great windows to show the condition of my heart and my emotional state--and it wasn't where I'd hoped it would be! I had a great time listening to some music (specifically "Here With Us" and was reminded of how I've recently been encouraged by my husbands' reminder that should all else fall away, we still have Jesus--and He is enough!). My afternoon at class was much brighter after this perspective change, and because I'm sure I'll still need a few reminders through the season, I plan on keeping Joy Williams at the top of my playlist!

On a much lighter note, two shocking events this weekend that still leave me giggling--eggs and bruises! One of our Chinese friends came over this weekend who had celebrated Thanksgiving with us the week before. I've mentioned several times that the normal here is to bring gifts when you come to someone's house as their guest. So we usually get fruit, juice, or some other sort of food item. This time, we got eggs. LOTS of them. As in a box with 60 in it! And no, that is not a type-o!! I currently have a box with 60 eggs sitting out on my yang tai (a balcony-like area that is enclosed and really cold this time of year, right off of my kitchen and used kind of like a pantry). So I'm getting creative with how to use them all up in a timely manner. Lots of omelets and quiche this week, for sure!

The other big shocker was the bruise on the back of my friend's neck that I noticed on Saturday night. My two best friends here offered to come over and watch the kids for Kevin and me to have a date night. We did so, and had a blast eating at a hot pot restaurant we just discovered that is walking distance away and then getting coffee afterward (actually, hot chocolate, as we didn't want the caffeine that late and it's hard to find decaf coffee around here!). When we were visiting with my friends upon our return home, I noticed a bruise about 2 or 3 inches in diameter in the middle of the back of one of the girls necks. As I asked with panic about what happened, fearing one of my rowdy crew had caused the damage, she laughingly told me how the other friend there had used her index and middle fingers to repeated pinch her, all at the request of the friend wearing the bruise! The reasoning was all tied to the Chinese idea of medicine and well-being. The girl with the bruise had gone outside the day before with her hair still wet after showering, allowing cold air to "get in", as she explained to me. The purpose of the pinching was to relieve the cold air by causing the heat to balance it out, thus relieving the mild headache that the girl had had since going outside the day before with damp hair.

After hearing the explanation, I kind of just stood there with my mouth open, mainly because these two girls are my best friends here and I feel like I really know them well. But then I hear something like this, that they mean with all sincerity, and I realize how many deeply embedded differences we have! It really is quite mind-boggling some days, and can make me discouraged at times, feeling like the differences are more vast than any person can reach beyond. And then I remember back to the Work that has already been done, and the reminder by Joy Williams of just who exactly is "here with us"!

(The pictures are of Karis from her school Christmas performance this past weekend--which was precious! She sang and danced with the whole class and even had a speaking part. She was having an absolute blast the whole time, making Kevin and me so thankful for the school the kids attend! The other one is of Eli with our bunny, Bo!)

Holiday Weekend

2011-11-28T03:42:00.000-08:00

After my last post describing the "wall" that I hit, we've had a refreshing two weeks of slowing down (somewhat!) and then getting back into our usual routine--with, of course, the rapid pace that comes with any holiday celebration. Our first big piece of news was a new purchase--a swing! I've mentioned before that swings here are incredibly hard to come by. But would you believe our apartment community actually has a post all set up to hang swings on (even including all the hardware needed to attach the swings), that happens to be only one building over from us?! I've noted several occasions where grandparents have brought their small grandchildren over, hung their swings, and then removed them again for their walk home! It's always amused me that someone doesn't just invest in a swing to put there that cannot be removed, but in our 2 years here so far I have yet to see a community swing installed. So about a week and a half ago another family passed on a used infant/toddler swing for us to use (after I discovered Noah and Hud's love, in particular, for swing time while at the international school playground); and then I discovered a family operating a very small retail operation out of their home--with the items they were selling being displayed in their window to attract customers. One of the items was a swing! So I purchased the swing, with the plan being that I can actually hook two swings up to the already established poles and swing both Noah and one other big kid at the same time! We had a blast. In spite of the weather turning much colder and more windy, they boys have loved time outside on the swing set, and I'm loving the time with them in a contained area that allows them to return home without being totally covered in filth from outdoor exploring! A win-win for everyone!!

Our second big piece of news is the mother's study I've now done for the last two Saturdays. Talk about re-energizing and exhausting all at the same time! I am LOVING the time with this group of Chinese moms--all with kids younger than mine, and all desperately trying to figure out how the heck to raise their kid. You think moms in the US get overwhelmed--the moms here have a whole other world full of challenges. All (except one) of these moms are working (mostly full-time), so their small kids (all under the age of 4) are being raised either by their own mom or their mother-in-law, who oftentimes lives with the family full-time. But this generation of grandparents didnt' raise their own kids either (also had them raised by their parents), so these grandparents raising the kids have zero experience from which to draw. Add on top of that soooo many cultural issues--like short-term thinking rather than long-term, competition being the driving force to everything, discipline being based on humiliation rather than focusing on correcting behavior, etc.--and what you have is a group of moms in totally over their heads. And yet what a great opportunity to see and really feel a need for Something bigger than your self to come to you in your hour of need! We are reading Shepherding a Child's Heart (which is printed here in Chinese) and then discussing it each week for a series of 4 weeks. I have been so encouraged each week by the womens' response to the teaching time and their willingness to share, ask questions, and encourage one another. I feel for them--to be trying to have a vision for the big picture of what they desire for their child and how they want them to treat others in a society that just doesn't think about or emphasize such things leaves them feeling really alone and isolated in most instances.

The language aspect has been a real stretch for me. My goal has been to do as much in Chinese as I possibly can. I must confess that by the second week, my "Chinglish" was coming out more than I'd hoped! The good news is that all of these women do understand English pretty well, so I think that all I was hoping was clearly communicated. And it's really stretched my vocabulary! The other women only use Chinese, so I'm getting to strain myself (so that I'm pretty wiped out afterward) to make sure I'm understanding the gist of what all is being shared. I am super blessed to have one of my best western friends here (Natalie) doing the study with me. She has lived here for over 7 years so her Chinese is great. And also, my best Chinese friend here (and teacher) who is not even married yet is attending, mainly with the purpose of being moral support for me! She has been diligent to take notes for me each week over the questions the other ladies have, just in case I miss some of their meaning! I'm loving doing this so much, that besides missing the time away from the family (we're doing the study on Saturday afternoons), I can really see how this could be one of my most favorite ways to try to serve others here in China.

This past weekend was filled with Thanksgiving celebrations. We had a group of our closest Chinese friends over on Thursday to join us for a full Thanksgiving feast. We dined in full southern style--complete with sweet and sour green beans, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, spiced peaches, creamed corn, cranberries, homemade rolls (thanks to my friend, Charis!), and of course turkey! Followed by apple and pumpkin pie, with apple cider to top it all off. I chucked when the turkey was delivered from the import store and the tag said it came straight from Minnesota! Oh, and my favorite question as of late was when I ordered the turkey over the phone. The man on the other end at the import store asked, "When we deliver the turkey, would you like it frozen or melted?"!!

Our friends seemed to really enjoy the meal, which honestly surprised me a bit, but I'm thinking they are getting more and more used to our western-style of eating and can handle more of our heavy dishes and large quantities of meat! It was my first turkey to cook by myself, and other than being a little bit dry (I went with the on-line suggested cooking times rather than when the pop-out thermometer said the bird was done), we all decided the flavor was quite good. After we ate together, we had a sweet time of singing together and then sharing what all He has done for us that we are thankful for this past year. It was so encouraging to hear our friends bubbling over with the joy that comes only from Him and being able to rejoice together in His goodness!

The following day (Friday), we had our group of western friends over to celebrate--27 in all (including 16 adults and 11 kids)! Talk about a full house! Our almost 2000 sq. ft. apartment definitely felt the weight of that many guests (as I'm sure our neighbors down below did, too!), but we were thankful to have as much space as we do for the kids to run around together and to set up the multiple tables needed to seat that large a number. In spite of having so many guests, my preparation was not nearly as great, as my only contributions to the meal were purchasing and carving 6 rotisserie chickens, mashed potatoes, gravy, pecan pie, apple cider, and turkey cookies (which the kids made with sugar-cookie hand-print cut-outs and then decorated with icing and sprinkles). The kids had the day off from school (and only went a half-day on Thursday), so they had fun helping me set up all the table decorations and even making individual name cards for each of the kids. (They also spent a good amount of time playing with Bo, the bunny, and building with Legos--like the one in the picture with Eli holding his T-Rex creation!) One of the couples who came even downloaded a football game for us to watch on tv, making the feel of Thanksgiving and being able to celebrate with precious friends that much more complete!

Hitting a Wall

2011-11-15T05:37:00.000-08:00

I experienced another first this past week--hitting a wall in a way I never have before! This past week was full of the usual activities of meeting with friends, hostessing, having some foreign friends and their kids over for playdates. We've also had some pretty heavy stuff lately we've been dealing with concerning future decisions, things we're doing here, who we're spending time with, etc. All this to say, I think that it all finally added up and ended up landing me in bed for the better part of two days! After being completely exhausted and barely able to stay awake while we had friends over on Thursday night, I crashed as soon as I could and managed to get up and the kids out the door on Friday morning. But once Noah and I got back from the bus stop, I literally could not pull myself off of the couch, even in response to Noah's persistent requests of "Read book, Mommy! Read book!" I struggled through several Dr. Seuss books from the library while still in a horizontal position (during which time Noah decided that sitting on my stomach was a good substitute for sitting on my lap!). Once our ayi came at 9:30, I explained to her that I was exhausted for some reason and just needed a little rest. Noah was only too happy to run outside and play with her so that I could retreat to my bed upstairs--where I spent the next 3 hours! I managed to pull myself out of bed to welcome Hud home a little after noon, sat with the boys while they ate, then again returned upstairs to lay down. After a SECOND two-hour long nap, which included skipping my scheduled Chinese class for the day, I spent a little time with the kids once they got home from school. Kevin graciously offered to take them all out to ride bikes, giving me another hour of down time before dinner. We did a family movie night, largely because that was about all that I was up for, and I again went to bed shortly after the kids did at about 9pm, sleeping through the whole night!

Now some of you reading might just be thinking this is my norm--but it certainly is not! I've never been so tired that a two-hour long nap couldn't cure my fatigue, so this has taken it to a whole new level!

Saturday was kind of a repeat of Friday for me, this time only taking two naps during the day and still being able to prepare dinner and host some of our Chinese friends who came over that night. But what has baffled me about the whole thing is that I have had no "sick" symptoms this whole time, other than a mild lingering cough that came with a cold I consider myself recovered from. So what is my self-proclaimed diagnosis? I'm thinking fatigue, and my body's way of telling me to shut it down for a little while. Which kind of feels like a terminal illness to me in some cases! Kevin has helped me intentionally weed out any "extras" in our schedule this week, something that is incredibly difficult for me to do myself. Dr. Kevin's orders are that I am to be focusing only on those things that I really want to do that would refresh me and preparing for a parenting study I'm leading that will begin this Saturday (I have a group of Chinese friends who have been asking me to teach on parenting--I seem to have fooled them into thinking that I'm some sort of expert largely due to the fact that I have more kids than anyone else around!). This study itself has taken it out of me already, as I'm trying to do it all in Chinese, and feel like my language ability really is not there yet! I've spent lots of time preparing and translating, and have learned probably a hundred new vocabulary words in the process. So thrilling, yet exhausting all at the same time! I'm sure I will have all sorts of funny stories to tell after our first meeting on Saturday!

So this evening my enjoyable activity was just to spend time with my kids--specifically trying to teach them all to two-step around our living room to Randy Travis' "Deeper than the holler" (which brought back great memories of this summer when we happened to see Randy at the Ruth's Chris Steakhouse where Kevin and I were being treated to an absolutely amazing dinner--and smiles over the memories of my brother-in-law Rob's enthusiasm at the performer's presence only tables away from where we were sitting!) The easiest-to-lead award of the night definitely went to Noah, NOT because of his disposition, but because I could pick him up completely and spin him around with fewer inches of arms flailing to contend with. The most enthusiastic award went to Karis, who thought she was just being carried away by the rhythm, begging me to put the song on repeat again and again. Hudson was a little too busy practicing his blocking moves on his littlest brother that he'd just learned at Tai Kwon Do practice to be too interested in which foot should go forward first!

My favorite quote of the week was by Karis, who was desperately seeking her Daddy's full attention this weekend. I can tell this story only because Kevin is SUCH an attentive and engaging dad pretty much all of the time, making this story even more laughable! While Kevin was doing something on the iPad on Saturday morning, Karis stuck her nose in between him and the screen and stated very emphatically, "Dad, I'm here! It's Saturday!" (In other words, "I'm ready to play--give me your undivided attention!") So thankful for the frankness of our kids in expressing just what exactly their little needs are at any given moment! :)

Lots of Posing!

2011-11-07T03:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday after rest time I took all of the kids to Trash Mountain to try to take advantage of the beautiful fall colored leaves that are sprinkled throughout the park on many of the trees. We originally planned to go on Saturday, but due to a constant drizzle and the cold that has become more of a daily presence we decided to forgo that plan and head to the supermarket indoor play area instead to let the kids expend some energy. Unfortunately, maybe a little too much energy was put forth, as one of our friends' daughters who joined us there ended up falling on her arm at an awkward angle, leaving us concerned that she had possibly broken a bone. Kevin took the little girl (Katelynne) and her dad to a Chinese hospital for an x-ray, with one of our best national friends here, whose mom is a doctor and whose friend owns and drives a car, guiding them along the way and through the process (the Chinese hospitals kind of work on a take-a-number and get in line system, and can get really difficult to navigate if you're not very familiar with the process--and if you're not ready to be a little bit on the pushy side in order to keep your place in line!). We were all so relived to find out that Katelynne's arm was okay, and had the added blessing of having her dad have his ear checked out, only to discover that the pain he's had for the past several weeks was due to a pretty serious ailment--an infection along with a perforated diaphragm. Again, thankful that he was able to be checked out and get the medicine he needs too to be on the road to recovery! It was a great reminder of how blessed we are to have such an incredible network of friends here who will drop whatever they are doing to help us when we are in need--even when it means spending literally all day at the hospital working the system!

Anyway, back to the photo op. I wondered if we maybe wouldn't draw a crowd, as most of the time when I have all 4 out in public together this is our trend. The funny part was how many others there at the park had the same thing in mind of trying to capture the beautiful fall leaves--which meant LOTS of people and LOTS of cameras at the park! The kids handled it beautifully, with Karis turning a little bit pink in the cheeks as she murmured between her lips while smiling, "Mom, all these people are watching us!" And sure enough, the crowd and the flashes that were present were pretty unbelievable. If I wasn't so intent on capturing the most ideal expression on each of my four monkey's faces I would have stopped to count how many were gathered around at any given moment. But alas, I was determined (and I think succeeded!) in getting all four of mine at least looking in the right direction at one time! The other truly humorous moment was when one mother was bold enough to step right up to where my kids were posed on the rock wall and insert her probably 2 year old into our family photo op! I didn't have to say anything, but made it clear that I was intentionally NOT trying to include her little one in our family shot, hoping not to offend to greatly!

After we took the pictures for 20 minutes or so, I rewarded the kids with some free time to explore. They had a blast making "jelly" out of the red berries they found and squashed between leaves and collecting sticks and other treasures under the cover of the low-hanging branches near where we were. The kids loved the outside play time, and we finished up our evening by trekking partially up the mountain and then back down closer to where the three wheeler awaited our return.

As we finished our walk, I took note of the array of clothing that the people jogging past on the path were wearing (they have added in the last year a path that is paved officially for jogging or walking, which is truly a rare find indeed, making the path well-traveled most times of the day). We saw a little bit of everything, but the most amusing was the man jogging (and I'm pretty sure not just in a hurry to get from one place to another!) in a dri-fit style t-shirt, but also wearing a men's blazer (or sport coat)! I wish I could say that this is unusual, but I regularly see people on the jogging trail in clothes not very many Westerners would consider proper sports apparel. Especially in the shoe category! Authentic running shoes that are of good quality here are REALLY expensive, much more so than most nationals could afford, which I assume is why I see so many people walking or running in shoes that definitely leave something to be desired in the support category. It makes me sad and concerned for their joints, knees, and backs each time I see it!

The other photo is of the boys last week and their first week of Tai kwon do lessons. We found a place here in our apartment community and after a few times of observing the instructor at work, decided it would be a great fit for our boys. And they LOVED it! It was so fun to talk with them about it after their first class, hear their enthusiasm over the kicks and punches and the possibility of moving up to eventually achieve a black belt. Kevin stayed with them the whole time to help translate as necessary (their instructor is a young Korean man, who we discovered is like-minded, which probably has much to do with his a-typical kind demeanor towards the kids). The teacher uses both Chinese and Korean in class, and occasionally sprinkles in some English for the sake of Eli and Hud! We are super thankful for this opportunity for them to be able to participate in some sort of organized sport, and Kevin and I both feel strongly that sports are a great way for kids to have character-building opportunities and life-growth chances that they could otherwise not be confronted with as much. It should also provide some great exercise, which will be especially beneficial as the winter is fast approaching! We have just started counting down the days (only 8 now!) until the heat is turned on as our apartment floors are starting to feel cold in spite of the wool socks we're wearing! :)

A Thread of Old Woven Throughout the New

2011-10-30T00:27:00.000-07:00

How I wish I could transport each of you reading this into our living room right now. As much as I try to capture our life here in China and the daily activities as well as the challenges and differences, it really is just kind of one of those things you have to experience to really understand. There is still (after 2+ years of living here) a sense of strangeness in how many things seem the same and yet are so different! We've lived several of those differences out this past week...

The first was this weekend. Kevin took off early on Saturday morning to meet a group of ex-pat guys at a local sports bar that opened early in order to show the final game of the World Series. He got to watch an hour of the game with the guys before taxiing off to the International School where he had previously committed to help coach Karis' soccer game. So he was able to enjoy watching the big game with the guys--only instead of doing it in our home or someone else's, he was in a Chinese sports bar (which is unusual in and of itself) eating breakfast burritos because the game started at 8am!

Karis' soccer game would have felt like any other Lake Highlands league that we would have been a part of before we moved here to Tianjin, except that she was the only girl AND the only Caucasian (besides Eli, who was the guest player for the 2nd grade team as they were short a few) on the field. The kids had an absolute ball and they didn't notice anything strange about their team make-up or the environment (it was a pretty bad day on the pollution index, leaving Noah confused as to if the light in the sky was actually the moon or the bright enough to be the sun!). But I looked around me and observed the languages being spoken to encourage the young soccer players by the parents and felt again the uniqueness of our situation of being "foreigners" in so many different situations.

After the game, Kevin took Eli and rushed back to the sports bar to catch the end of the game while I kept the other three on the playground to play. I finally looked at my clock to discover that Hudson and Noah had both been on the swings for a solid 40 minutes before either of them was willing to get out! Swing sets are rarely ever found around here, and the boys were taking full advantage of the time being able to do so, chatting and singing the entire time. After getting off to stretch for several minutes, I was again taken by surprise when my incredibly active 2 and 4 year olds only wanted to return to the swings for more time of, as Hud put it, getting to "fly like a bird"!

After lunch we indulged in a super-fun treat--going out to eat lunch at a new Mexican food restaurant that has just opened, and happens to be close by our home, too! We were elated to find out that the food was really good and the atmosphere even conducive to bringing the kids along. And the place was crowded enough that it looks like they have a chance to stay in business, which, after one meal there, Kevin and I were thrilled about!

Saturday night we had a group of Chinese friends over for dinner and a movie night. After watching the movie "Soul Surfer", Kevin was fulfilling the role of the host by "song-ing" our guests home (which is when you walk your guests either to the taxi stop, bus stop, or their car; it used to be that you went all the way back to your guests' home to make sure they arrived safely, so we feel like this slight change in what is considered polite is a change in the much more convenient direction!). The group split up, leaving one single girl left alone to walk to her car. Kevin decided that it made the most sense to walk her to her car, and was really glad he had done so when upon arriving at her vehicle, they discovered that the car next to her had double-parked and had left no reason to believe that they were returning any time soon! Kevin was able to solve the problem by pushing the car that was double-parked (and apparently had a driver unfamiliar with the concept of using a parking break or leaving the car parked in first gear?) down the street and out of the way! Kevin said that the entire time his mind was worse-case-scenario-ing as he imagined bumping into the closely packed surrounding vehicles or losing control of the car he was pushing and watching it roll away.... Thankfully none of the scenarios played out, and he was able to push the blocking vehicle out of the way and then push it back (and least close to the original space!) to where it was previously parked with our friend being able to move her car out of the way and off down the street. Definitely a feeling of "where am I?" in the midst of the common courtesy of seeing a guest to the door!

Today in our International Fellowship that we attend on Sunday mornings, we were blessed by a student's spontaneous outpouring of worship. Our fellowship has about 200-300 in attendance on any given Sunday, all required by the government to be foreign passport holders, and a large number of those attending are students from Africa (mostly studying medicine of some sort). This weeks' worship team was being led mainly by several of these African students, and therefore had more of a African cultural feel to it. About half way through the time of worship, one of the young men who is a leader amongst the group jumped up on stage with the worship leaders, clapping his hands above his head, dancing around, and encouraging those of us in attendance to raise our voices. Kevin and I just looked at each other grinning, both thinking how refreshing it was to see such a genuine overflow of the heart in a way that was so culturally normal to so many in the pews, and yet how strange the scene would appear in any of our home groups with which we have fellowshipped in the US. We are thankful for the diversity in worship and cultural norms for which we get to engage in weekly with those we serve and worship with!

The last thing I've been taking note of this past week is Noah's responses to things that we experience here. As his language is developing, it is so fun to see what he says, what he notices, and how he pieces together both the world around him and the way he desires to express what he sees. His regular response to seeing those around us noisily clearing their throats and then hocking large loogies is, "Ew. Gross." Might I add here how thankful I am that this aspect of acceptable culture here in China has NOT become normal enough to him to think that it is okay to participate in! Another is the daily dodging of dog poop on the sidewalk as we walk through our apartment community. He has taken to announcing for all to hear (and avoid traipsing through), "Yucky! Doggie poo-poo!" His final, and my favorite, in spite of the severity of the situation, is his reaction to the electric bikes, three wheelers, or bicycles that regularly speed by, often times frightening him in the process because of how close they are to hitting you. His standard response once they pass: "Missed me!" Thankful for his ability to be able to laugh at situations that could be (and probably should be!) considered dangerous, knowing in Whose hands we reside.

Indonesia

2011-10-15T18:40:00.001-07:00

One of the benefits to living in Asia is the travel that otherwise would probably NOT be very likely for our family. We were blessed to be able to enjoy that benefit this past week when our family traveled to Indonesia. Now before you get too green with envy as you read, let me start off by stating that actually getting there was NOT necessarily part of the enjoyment. Between our going and our returning home, I calculated that we spent 16 hours flying, 6 hours driving, and 17 hours waiting at the airport in order to make the trip a reality. My conclusion: my kids are amazing! I know that they are mine and therefore I am necessarily biased, but I've got to say that for a 7, 6, 4, and 2 year old to be able to travel they way they do, with the patience, creativity, and attitudes that they display MOST of the time, it is nothing but His hand of grace being evidenced in them! Oh, and did I mention that MANY of those hours of travel were in the wee hours of the morning? (For example, our flight leaving Indonesia departed at 1:30am, causing us to arrive at the airport at 10:30pm and wait several hours, in an airport with no seats, no carpet, no designated "waiting area" until we were actually able to enter the gate--which was 30 minutes prior to the plane taking off--which was, in essence, when it was time to board the plane.) It's this kind of "normal" for our kids that makes me see how people often say TCK's (third culture kids, a term for kids growing up in a culture that is not their parent's home culture nor fully the culture in which they live (for us, that is Chinese), making their culture an entirely different, or third, one, unique to them alone) are so travel-adept and willing to go and see new places. The fact that my two year old can pop out the hand-held remote in the seatback in front of him on the airplane and operate his tv on his own, knowing which button NOT to push because it will "call the lady" (aka the flight attendant) is proof enough that our kids do more time on planes than the average!!

Besides the time away being incredibly helpful to our family in thinking through our life in China and having sweet time meeting with dear friends, we had two scares (one big, one not so much) while in Indonesia. The first was an earthquake that hit on one of our last days on the island. While we were meeting on the fourth floor of our hotel, everything in the room suddenly started shaking violently. Even thinking about it now makes my heart beat faster and my stomach drop. Kevin and I immediately stopped what we were doing and ran out the door with a quick agreement that he would get the boys and I would get Karis (who was at that time in a different location). We ended up meeting in the hallway and all flew down the four flights of stairs to the open-aired courtyard below. Supposedly the earthquake was rated a 6.4 on the richter scale, but I'm not sure how far away the epicenter was from where we were. Close enough to be too close for comfort from my perspective, for sure! Later that afternoon, when we felt another aftershock and repeated the same drill of running to pick up kids and race downstairs, my stomach again was churning for about an hour after the last pulses of the quake had passed. My comic relief was Noah's reaction--his repeated "Shake! Shake!" that he continued saying with huge eyes and raised eyebrows as I held him close outside in the courtyard.

The second event was not quite as scary, but still a bizarre phenomenon. A shuttle from the hotel took us to the beach our last day in town, with the plan of letting the kids play in the sun and waves for long enough to wear them out so they would take afternoon naps, thus preparing for our late night at the airport. When we arrived at the dirt parking lot near the beach, we all disembarked from the van, only to find out that there were huge red ants all over the ground. I never saw an ant hill or even a large hole from which they came, but they instead seemed to be swarming all around, right near the door of the van. The kids were immediately fascinated, and, as they usually do with our friendly Chinese black ants, stopped to investigate and have a closer look. As soon as they did, the ants started climbing into their Crocs, causing screams from the kids as some of the ants began to bite! Before we knew it, we had screaming kids dancing through the parking lot, as the vicious ants bit several of the kids and clung to their shoes and clothes with a vengeance. I was shocked when I tried to knock them off of my own flip flops at how aggressive the little creatures were and how tightly they clung to whatever they wanted to keep a hold of! We finally managed to rid our shoes of the little red devils and continued on to the beach, with the kids screaming bloody murder any time any sort of any crawled close to their path. Pretty sure we discovered the Indonesian cousin to our Texas fire ants.

One of our highlights was Eli finally loosing one of his front teeth! The tooth has been loose for MONTHS--literally since we were back in the US this summer, and has just been hanging in there! The photo of him up close (and with a messy face!), is him showing off both how untidy he can be while inhaling large quantities of pizza and how wiggly his tooth was just prior to it falling out!

The other shot of Eli and Noah together was taken at the Hong Kong airport, which we became quite familiar with after spending about 7 hours there on our return trip. We were sooooo thankful to find a kids' play area that was ideal for little ones running around and stretching their legs some!

National Holiday

2011-10-05T15:54:00.000-07:00

(Sorry for the delay!) The first week in October China celebrates it's National Day each year, giving the kids a much-anticipated break from school and a chance to sleep in past 5:45 in the morning!! We spent most of the week getting together with friends. The first picture is of Karis with her brothers and her friend Michelle from school who came over for a play date. Michelle is a precious little girl (who also happens to be a twin and share the same birthdate as Karis--June 17th!) that Karis became friends with last year. She is Chinese, but is a foreign passport holder (she was born while her parents were living in the US), and therefore is allowed to attend the International School. As you can tell by the looks on their faces, the kids all had a great time playing together for the morning!
We also got to spend time with some of our closest friends here--Natalie and Andy and their two little ones (Jenda, who is Hud's age and Blaise, who is Noah's age). You can see from this pic that even Andy got into the theatrical performance that Karis prepared for us all to participate in as our evening's entertainment. The final two pics are of the kids playing horses with their stall being located under the kitchen table. I am continually reminded of how creative kids can be when you let them run with an idea, and am challenged to join in with them in their imaginary worlds.

Kevin and I had a break from class as well, and with the beautiful fall weather and the kids at home I kept busy trying to find the balance between getting a few home projects done and taking time off just to "be" with my kids, playing outside, walking to the local joint to get milkshakes, and finding lots of preying mantis. Which, I might add, I found pretty freaky after I watched one that Eli caught kill and eat a spider that we put in the insect catcher with it! Our down time was a much needed respite from our usual routine and a great chance to be able to spend more quality time together as a family and with our friends!

Wedding Mania

2011-09-27T06:23:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Kevin and I actually had to split up in order to make the rounds on the wedding circuit! He took the younger two boys to one wedding and I headed across town with Karis and Eli for another. As usual, we had quite the cultural experience at both events!

The wedding Kevin, Hud, and Noah attended was supposed to be the shorter of the two. It was close in proximity to our apartment, and the ceremony was only supposed to be a max of 45 minutes. It was supposed to start at 10:48 am (Chinese weddings almost always start at a time ending in 8 due to the fact that the Chinese word for 8 sounds like the Chinese word for wealth--with the idea being that you are hoping for wealth and prosperity at the beginning of your new life together). Unfortunately, not enough guests had arrived at that time, so the wedding ended up starting much later! (In Chinese weddings, they actually have the bride wait to arrive on the scene of the wedding--usually which takes place at a restaurant--until there are enough people there to properly welcome her, which is done with LOTS of fireworks, usually displayed in a heart-shape laid out on the ground throughout the parking lot. Kevin texted me around 11:30 informing me that the boys had already eaten their weight in Sprite and wedding candy (hard candy that they have strewn all over the tables of Chinese weddings). Kevin made it out of the wedding scene unscathed without any of the kids causing too much of a scene in a negative way!

The wedding I attended with the oldest two kids and two of my friends here was more of an all-day event. We had to be at a supermarket parking lot by 7:45 (leaving our house by 7am) to wait for a bus that was coming to pick us up after picking up a load of police officers from the train station! My first teacher here has now become a police officer herself, and this was her wedding, to which she invited (and provided transportation for) her fellow police-officers. The bus was running late, but we finally made it to the Tianjin suburb where the wedding was to be held by 9:30, about an hour before the wedding was to start. Karis was the flower girl and Eli the ring-bearer, and they both did their jobs really well. They did look a little bit wide-eyed as they listened to the MC, who in Chinese weddings sounds more like a loud obnoxious game show host trying desperately to get the crowd riled up, trying to figure out when they were supposed to make their way down the aisle. Our friends getting married adore the kids, and were so sweet and excited when they came down the aisle--meeting them at the end of the stage with huge hugs and words of encouragement. One of my two favorite moments of the wedding was when the two fathers stood up to give speeches during the ceremony. After thanking the two men of honor who had come (the bosses of the bride and groom who sat in special seats right on the runway/aisle), they thanked the foreigners who had attended the wedding (that would be me, Karis, and Eli!)! I was so tickled, trying to imagine a comparable scene in the US--a situation where the father of the bride is saying thank you to the Chinese person in the room. I wanted to remind them that while I appreciated the thanks, I had come on the bus from the city center with all the other guests in attendance--not exactly making a jaunt across the ocean just for the sake of attending a Chinese wedding! Deciding this not appropriate to mention, I simply did the polite thank you and nod and Princess Diana-type wave!

My second favorite moment of the wedding was afterward when we had moved to another floor of the building for lunch. The father of the bride walked up to me confidently with his entourage following close behind him. In his hand he held a set of apparently lost car keys that he was convinced belonged to me. When I saw the keys in his hand I had to stifle a chuckle as I explained that they were definitely not mine--they were to a Mercedes Benz! I thought it ironic that he assumed that the foreigner in the place was the one with the fancy wheels, and wished he could have seen my normal mode of transportation--my electric three wheeler!

The rest of the week preceding the weddings on Saturday and then following was again, super-busy. I had invited our friends who were getting married on Saturday to come to dinner that week, and we'd decided on Thursday night. Since it was only two days before their wedding, I wasn't totally surprised when my friend asked me if she could invite several other friends over to dinner to join us as well. I WAS surprised, however, when the three girls I invited to come (in addition to the couple getting married), asked me a few days before if the dinner was actually a wedding shower! My immediate reaction was that it was not--and I confirmed that they don't do wedding showers in Chinese culture. To this they replied that they indeed do not typically have wedding showers in China, but that I was not Chinese, and they knew that we do have them in the US! Based on this, and the counsel of my wise Chinese friend, we decided it was best to deem our formerly casual dinner gathering as an official wedding shower. I had to scramble a bit to find an appropriate gift and cake, as well as flowers and a few other touches to make it more shower-like!

My other fun hostessing surprise came that same day, when I discovered that the baby shower I was hostessing for a western friend due with her first in October was not for the 6 of us that I thought it was for, but that the evite guest list actually had 18 names on it! After getting over my initial panic, I was able to pull together a Sunday afternoon shower with the help of two of my other friends. The guest list went from Americans only to Chinese friends, too--which I was of course thrilled about, but also changed the hostessing dynamic (I added more fruit to the menu, more nuts for snacking, and Chinese tea). I found it pretty hilarious at the results from the evite we sent out. Out of those invited, all of the Americans replied pretty quickly with either a yes or a no; whereas our Chinese friends all either didn't reply at all or responded with a maybe! My teacher just recently explained to me that saying no to an invitation in China is too direct, so if you say maybe, then it actually means probably not. This was obviously the case with our baby shower this weekend, as I knew there would be between 9 and 18 of us there--and there ended up being 10!

The pictures I'm including are of the different weddings (and showers!) from this past weekend. Karis also had a school performance I attended in which she was "water". Pretty cute! The other photo is of our boys' favorite past-time--beating on our guests who come over to play!!

Celebrating in Perspective

2011-09-17T00:50:00.000-07:00

This past week we had some fun celebrating to do! We first celebrated the birthday of one of my best friends here in China, Ying Ying, with a group of our closest friends and a fancy cake! We then had Eli's 6th birthday celebration on Sept. 10th. He had a great and pretty low-key day. We have had two families come to Tianjin in the last 2 weeks (one is Jennifer and Cameron, fellow Dallas-ites, of all places!, and the other is a family from Idaho who has 3 little kids). We are thrilled to have new ex-pat friends here, and have been BUSY beyond compare in trying to help them get situated! (more on that later...) So Eli's bday morning started off with heading to the kids' international school where Karis had her first soccer practice. Her school has a 6 week long program for the elementary school kids to participate in, and since I am the "mom on duty" to help with bathroom runs, water breaks, etc., I had the other 3 boys in tow with the intention of staying and watching (while they played) during the hour. The kids ended up having an absolute ball! There were about 15 1st and 2nd graders playing--and Karis was not only the only non-Korean on the field, she was also the only girl! I was so thrilled that she didn't even seem to notice, but had a great time bouncing around kind of chasing after the ball. The coach decided that Eli and Hud could be of assistance as well, as they could use a few more for their scrimmaging, so he invited both boys to play with the older kids. The only disappointment was that Noah wasn't invited onto the field; but I'm pretty sure the coach was considering it at one point! I watched him eyeing Noah dribble the ball and kick it into the goal several times after watching the older kids, yelling loudly enough for anyone on the field to hear if anyone got too close to him! I think he was trying to figure out just how old this little fireball with a mean dribble really was :)

We then came home for lunch, and were joined by both of our new friends, their kids, and one other couple for lunch. I've gotta say--a year ago, I probably would have been pretty stressed out, but I think it's a great indicator that I've made significant progress in "life" here that I was able to throw together a lunch to feed 8 adults and 7 kids on very short notice! We were thankful to have so many friends with us to both eat lunch, sing happy birthday, eat some Batman decorated cupcakes, and cheer Eli on in his present-opening. His themes this year for gifts were science experiment stuff, building things (like Legos), sports gear, and weapons--all of his favorite things! Oh, but his definite favorite gift was one that I picked (in a moment of insanity?)--a whoppie cushion! Trust me, probably even the neighbors are aware of its presence in our house at this point. And Kevin's Chinese guy friends, who have never heard of such a thing, think it's about as great an invention as every other American guy thinks it is!!

We planned to go out that night for dinner at Papa John's, but between the rain and the excitement that we'd had all day with friends over, decided instead to order pizza in and hunker down, enjoying putting together some of the new Legos Eli had gotten as bday presents. One funny language blunder that Kevin made (that happens very rarely!), was when he was ordering the pizza. He was (of course) using Chinese, and mixed up two words that are very similar, asking for a microwave on top of his pizza rather than pineapple to go with the canadian bacon!

Lately I've been reading through the prophets in my time in the Word, and have been amazed at what all many of them were called to endure for the sake of reaching out to make His people understand. The most recent example this last week was when Ezekiel's wife was killed and He told him not to mourn. I was shocked! Poor Ezekiel! I can't imagine if the same thing was asked of me. The thought of losing my soul mate for the sake of His people gaining understanding, and then being asked to show a stiff upper lip. I KNOW this is not because we serve an uncaring or an unfeeling God. I KNOW that He causes all things to work together for good. So why then does He allow horrible things to happen--even to the extent of a life being lost? As I've pondered this over the last week, I think the answer is that our perspective is oftentimes off, and is always limited. We view life in a whole different light than He does. We live for the here and now most of the time. We might say that we believe in heaven, but most of the time we think that being taken from this world is the worst thing that could happen.

Now don't get me wrong; I'm not here to say that we should all be finding the nearest bridge to jump over. But I also know that I have a good amount of room to grow in the way I think about things that are temporal. Even birthdays. I celebrate the life of my friend, Ying Ying, and especially the life of Eli, during their birthdays. I thank Him daily for the gift that my loved ones are to me. But I also want to have the perspective of Ezekiel, who even when the most precious thing is taken from him, he is able to press on in obedience and faith, knowing that life only really begins beyond the grave...

So that has been my personal challenge this week. We've had our usual earthly frustrations--too many responsibilities, not enough time, the internet not working for days on end, a city of 12 million with way too many people driving around in cars that they have NO CLUE how to drive. And yet my goal is to look beyond this world. To be reminded that this time here is super short, and I have a choice in both how much I gripe (over those things that can just rub you the wrong way) and how much I praise (for the little things, the blessings that I have in abundance). To set my eyes on things above...

2 year Anniversary Celebration

2011-09-05T05:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend our family celebrated two years of living in China! We decided last year that each year on our arrival date to China (Sept. 4) our family would celebrate together what we've experienced over the preceding year. So when we asked the kids how they would like to celebrate this year, we weren't too surprised when they suggested a trip to the zoo again (we went last year, and the zoo continues to be their favorite spot to frequent!). We decided to celebrate on Saturday rather than Sunday (which was technically our anniversary date) so that we could have the full day, rather than just a short window of time (Sundays always seem to fly by for us as we leave for our international fellowship at 9:30 and don't get home until around 1:30 if we grab lunch--usually at McDonalds--on our way home).

When we arrived at the zoo, I immediately foresaw a potential problem--lots of people! There were cars parked all along the street, blocks before you even got to the entrance. I gave the kids riding in the back of the three wheeler a little pep talk about the crowds and high likelihood of lots of photo opportunities, as well as a reminder of how we were called to be kind and love all those around us--and received the usual, "Yeah, yeah. Got it, Mom. We know." I was totally surprised to find out that in spite of the large number of people at the zoo, my 4 little ones weren't the main attraction at any of the exhibits we visited! The kids had a ball feeding the animals in the petting zoo area for quite some time before moving on to the hippos.

Unfortunately at the hippo exhibit, we had a little mishap. Kevin had just lifted Hudson up onto a fence-type structure when Hud lost his balance and fell forward. His face stopped his fall, as he collided with the metal poles intended to keep people out and the hippos in. We immediately saw that the gash on his eyebrow was pretty wide and seemed to be quite deep. We had a plethora of kind Chinese people rush to our aid--offering band-aids and all sorts of advice. After we got his wound cleared up and the damage assessed, Kevin and I were both pretty sure he needed stitches, so I made a call to the international clinic that is in town. Unfortunately, they have changed their policy so that they now only see members (before you could come one time without a membership)--and members, we are not! I was somehow able to talk one of the doctors into pulling some strings for us and got the receptionist to agree to let Hud in the door. Kevin (quickly!) rode him over to the clinic, and there it was determined that giving him stitches was not the best option (the wound was wide enough that giving him stitches probably would have left a worse scar). So Hud recovered quickly, got ice cream on the way home for his bravery, and now is proudly sporting a different band-aid each day on his eyebrow. No doubt he is going to have one more scar, which ironically mirrors almost perfectly the one he has had for the last 2+ years on his OTHER eyebrow--the one he has from stitches her received after jumping off of a sofa and into the edge of a coffee table! And the blows just keep on comin'...

The other 3 kids and I stayed at the zoo and finished up our afternoon for another few hours before returning home for rest time. One of my favorite moments was when the kids visited the gorilla that we have seen before and were able to get him to dance with them! We've seen before that he enjoys mimicking the people he sees on the other side of the glass, so when Eli started kicking his feet and swinging his arms, the gorilla was only too pleased to join in the fun--much to the amusement of every person standing around or passing by!

We let the kids pick the dinner menu--and were surprised that they chose jiaozi again over pizza! We then did our favorite evening past time, walking to our local market store (about a 10 minute walk) to buy ice cream (or popsicles). The last photo is in front of the market store (with a view of one of my favorite fruit vendors behind them). We all agreed, our 2nd anniversary was a fun-filled day in which we were able to recount MUCH for which we are thankful!

Bugs and Milkshakes

2011-08-24T06:20:00.001-07:00

Our themes for the past two weeks--bugs and milkshakes! We've discovered a plethora of both! The number of snails, roly polies, and giant black ants has definitely increased as the weather begins to cool off and the rain becomes more frequent. And the kids are LOVING it--the boys especially! After Eli found a new class pet (a lizard he found outside during recess), Hud was motivated to do the same. So he convinced his class that THEIR new class pet was the stink bug he discovered on the playground! His teacher (wisely!) sent it home with him after allowing it to stay in the class room (and even share in their snack during snack time) for about two days. I think I allowed it to stay in our house for less than one--then was able to convince him that the stink bug really wanted to return to his family OUTSIDE our apartment.

Noah's fascination with the living things around us continues to grow; and his favorite past time is to hunt for black ants to step on and snails to let crawl around on him during our walks back home after dropping the other three kids off at the bus stop at 7am each morning. He had a new favorite highlight this week as we walked past the body of water in our apartment community. Three men had nets they were dropping in the water to catch small silver-colored minnows. Noah struck up a quick friendship with one of the men who waited patiently for Noah to reach into his net and help him remove the fish from the net and place them into his bag--with Noah squealing with delight the entire time! We "fished" with this kind man for a good half an hour before I could convince Noah it was time to head home (I was in need of another cup of coffee at the time!).

Our other new favorite discovery is a place in our apartment complex that advertises itself as a "yogurt" shop--but really should be bragging about their milkshakes! We had some friends recommend it as a fun place to get a treat, and are so thankful they did. In a place where retail and food vendors seldom last very long, we're doing everything we can to help keep them in business, frequenting the "shop" regularly! You can see a picture of the kids at the window where we order and then wait when we stopped by for an after-school treat one afternoon this week.

The last picture is around our kitchen table with one of our favorite "new normals" in the Joseph household--chopsticks used to eat jiao zi! We asked our ayi to make jiao zi (like dumplings with all kinds of different fillings inside--our favorite is pork and green beans) and then dip them in a vinegar soy sauce. The kids think the dipping and chopsticks part is as much fun as the eating, and usually have a contest to see who can eat the most (Eli holds the record with eating 5)!

I knew we were back in China this week when Kevin and I had a quick lunch date. While we were at the noodle restaurant that Kevin had spotted earlier and wanted to try out for the first time, we ordered then tried to find a seat. All the tables had people seated at them (there were about 8 tables in all), so we picked one that was less crowded--only one person in a four-top. The man didn't even flinch when Kevin and I squeezed in to sit at his table, and I thought how funny the person's reaction would have been if we were in the US trying to pull that one! Our noodles came, and we ended up eating them as quickly as we could, as we discovered we were about the only ones in the whole place who weren't enjoying a smoke along with their noodles, making the experience a little less enjoyable! Guess it wasn't our most romantic of lunch dates... :)

..."no cattle in the stalls"

2011-08-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

I'm totally amazed. We've been back in China now for about a week and a half, and the transition to life here has gone so smoothly! I've got to admit, Kevin and I both had our doubts as to how the kids (in particular) would make the adjustment back to our "new normal". As I mentioned previously--our two months in the US were amazing. Our time with friends and family and the activities the kids got to participate in were more than we could have hoped for. From ballet camp to VBS, from the Dallas Arboretum and Children's Science Museum to the beaches of Florida; the kids had one incredible experience after another. And the genuinely LOVED every bit of it--and we felt (very gratefully) that they didn't seem to take it all for granted, either. So with two months of every day being the equivalent to Disney World in their little minds, how were they going to make the leap back to Tinajin, where literally the most excitement we have to offer here is the zoo (which is too hot to go to this time of year), McDonalds (which doesn't even have any sort of play area), and the local market that sells popsicles (and is a far cry from Marble Slab, to say the least!)?

Would you believe that everyone of the kids (Karis the least so) have said several times how thankful they are to be back in China?! Every time one of them says it, Kevin and I exchange glances, surprised and thrilled at the same time. I recently read a passage in Habakkak 3 that talks about how even if there are "no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior". I feel like my kids are living this out before our eyes! They have SO little here that the world says they should value and pursue, and yet they are content, even happy.

Now while I wish I could claim that this perspective comes from incredible spiritual maturity for my 7, 5, and 4 year olds, I think there's probably a better explanation. We definitely experience a sense of intense togetherness as a family that is really hard to replicate in the busyness of a typical day's schedule in the US. And maybe this place in which we've lived for two years (almost) just feels like home with their own beds, their own toys. Or it might just be His grace over our family in finding joy where He has us. Whatever the reason (or reasons) might be, we are singing His praises that our kids can remind us daily from Whom our strength comes, Who enables us to go on the heights...

One of my favorite moments this past week was a comment the boys made. Kevin was playing a game with the kids where he shouted out a letter of the alphabet and they had to run around the house and collect three things that all began with that letter. The older 3 kids were super enthusiastic about playing, and even Noah was trying to keep up. So when Kevin called out "w", the challenge was bumped up a notch. After searching wildly for several minutes, Hudson and Eli ran up to Kevin carrying a toy snake. When Kevin asked what the "w" was, the boys responded with, "It's a wubber [rubber!] animal!"

The photos are of the family game of "horse" in the living room, the first day of school for the older three (I took them on the 3 wheeler rather than having them ride the bus), and what I found on Saturday morning upon going in their room to get the kids up--all of them on the top bunk under the covers with Karis reading to her brothers!

We're Back!!!

2011-08-07T23:38:00.000-07:00

Probably anyone who USED to check our blog for family updates has ceased to do so--and rightfully so! I am so apologetic for the lapse in time since my last post. We have just gotten off of a whirl-wind tour of the US, and are just getting our feet on the ground as we try to re-align ourselves (our bodies and minds!) with life back in China.

So here's a re-cap of the last 2 months we had in the US, as well as a few of the details of things we noticed as we've made the leap back and forth between two cultures that are so vastly different.

The time in the States for us was GREAT! We felt like we were continually reminding ourselves (and each other!) to soak it all in--the clean air, the birds chirping in the trees, the grass we could walk on, the endless servings of chips and queso, and the precious time with friends and family who truly provide us with the "soul food" for which we long. We spent the first three weeks in Dallas, once of which Kevin's parents were in town from Florida for, doing doctor's appointments, purchasing things we can only get Stateside, and enjoying as many playdates with friends as we could possibly fit in. And let me tell you, we took "fit in" to a whole new level! There were days that we truly had 4 meetings with different people or groups scheduled. Our funniest was one day when we had guests over for dinner, but let them know beforehand that we would have to be brief because we already had another couple scheduled to come over right after we got the kids in bed at 8pm. (Luckily the dinner friends are really close, and didn't seem to mind being booted out early in the evening!) Some of the funny things that we realized were so different from China, mainly because our kids pointed them out, were water fountains (Noah especially was fascinated by this, starting at the airport and continuing on whenever he spotted one), wearing shoes indoors (our kids for the entire two months would immediately drop their shoes by the front door upon entering someone's house), walking on grass (Eli and Noah in particular loved this, both asking if they could take their shoes off to walk in it whenever they saw a patch of green around), families having two cars (they only know one family here in China who has their own car, so they were confused by why any family would want or need two), and drinking out of the faucet (Hudson continued to ask throughout our two month's stay--"Is it okay to drink this water?").

We had so much fun getting to spend time with people and do so many fun things, but the following week when we took off for family time in Colorado was also a little bit of a relief, as we had truly "vacation time" in the real sense--just time with family and no place else to go and nothing else to do. We had time with both of my siblings and their families, as well as with my parents, hiking and fishing, white water rafting and throwing countless rocks into the icy Colorado streams that flowed around us. We couldn't get enough of the cool mountain air or the aesthetic beauty around us. I have a friend who has lived here in China for 19 years who told me once that she thinks the Lord allows her the privilege to return to Colorado every several years so that her "aesthetic beauty tank" is filled up enough to endure the grit and the grime of the city in which we live--and I think I would have to agree! My continued prayer was that I wouldn't allow the beauty we were able to enjoy for a week to be a source of bitterness later when I had the opportunity to compare it to where we now live, but that it would be a place I could go back to in my mind and enjoy the beauty of His creation and getting to experience a piece of it for any amount of time. Karis, who just turned 7 in June, knows that I love the beauty of Colorado--and specifically the Aspen trees. You can imagine how touched I was when she and my mom gave me a gift after our week of vacation--a pair of silver-covered aspen leaf earrings that they had hunted for and (miraculously!) found while in Crested Butte to give to me as a reminder of my favorite place on earth. And to think that the idea was all Karis' (and I'm assuming the buying power all my mom's!), have made this pair of earrings a treasure beyond compare!

We returned to Dallas for about 2 days of play time with my oldest (meaning longest!) best friend, Amy Baker and her family. They were in town from Seattle and we were able to let the kids get as much play time in as was possible to fit into 48 hours (including slumber parties, of course!). Amy's 3 kids line up in age and gender with my oldest 3 almost perfectly (just a few months apart for each of them), making the friendships for our families really easy and natural. I can't tell you how many times we said prayers of thanks during our time in the States for how well our kids "coped" with the transitions--from staying in different places, to putting about 7,000miles on borrowed or rented mini-vans in two months, to being thrust into social settings with kids that they really didn't know--we were so thankful that they not only coped with it all well, but that they seemed to enjoy every minute and every new situation! We laughed at how they were having the time of their lives largely because every day was like Christmas for them--fun new places and things they rarely get to experience (even the simplicity of joyfully being able to go outside to a backyard when they want to, rather than having to wait for the whole family to make the time and effort to have the production of getting from our 10th floor apartment to the courtyard below). Kevin and I both recognized this as one of the great blessings that comes with the sacrifice--it is hard to see that our kids don't get to experience what we consider "normal childhood experiences", like playing in a backyard or swimming in a pool, as part of their daily routine, but it is also awesome to see how thankful they are and how appreciative they are for those little things when they do have them.

So after our quick time in Dallas again we headed off for our longest road trip--starting in Houston, then going on to two different places in Georgia and then to Florida. In Houston we again had an absolutely amazing time getting to reconnect with college friends and our best friends who formerly lived in Tianjin and had to return to the US because their daughter was diagnosed with leukemia. It was such sweet time of fellowship and encouragement, and so fun to have our kids develop friendships that seemed to run deep in a very short amount of time. After Houston we booked it to Warm Springs, GA to meet our best friends from baseball during the All-Star break at their ranch house. We had 3 days of the kids playing in the dirt, fishing, and picking blueberries at a farm. We sweated a TON and had a great time in the process! After our Georgia farm time we headed to a suburb of Atlanta, Fayetteville, to visit our best friends from our time at DTS. Again, we had an incredible 2 days of swimming, fellowship, and having the kids connect with dear friends whom they dearly miss!

After those two days, my husband set some kind of record for "best husband of the year" by sending me off to the Atlanta airport so that I could fly back to Texas for a girls' reunion weekend with a group of friends of mine from college while he drove the 10 hours by himself--with four kids ages 7 and under--to where his parents live in Florida! And he did so with JOY! He was so excited to have me have a retreat with girlfriends that he was genuinely excited for me to go--and my time definitely lived up to his (and my!) expectations. I was able to spend time floating down the Guadalupe River and enjoying meals with girls I hadn't seen in years, and was so refreshed and encouraged by their love and concern for me and my family and all that we've experienced as we've made the cross-cultural move to China. And Kevin (and all 4 children) totally survived the weekend and the drive without me! According to all reports, it even went well! Once I flew back to Florida to re-join the fam we had another full week of time on the beach and at the pool, soaking up the sun of Florida and the love of grandparents. We got to go to a wildlife preserve with tigers and lions only feet away from you on the other side of the fence and to the movie theater to see Cars 2 in 3D! We made the most of every moment, and even had the pleasure of Kevin's cousin and his family coming in town from North Carolina to have time with us--which my kids loved since they brought their two daughters, who are close in age to my little ones.

I'll be honest--our drive back to Texas felt long. We knew we only had one week left in the States and that was filled with dentist appointments and a few other things on the to-do list still before our departure. (Kevin decided his theme for his summer was "teeth", as he spent more time at the dentist than anywhere else! Right before we left China he noticed pain in one of his teeth that had given him problems before due to a basketball injury that took place in highschool! This pain ended up in 3 teeth being pulled and a permanent bridge being put in, as well as one additional root canal and the discovery of his first cavity!) We had to cut our road trip home short in order to get back to Dallas in time for him to have the remainder of his dental work completed before we left town. The one praise in the whole thing was how thankful we were that it happened when it did! If it had happened while here in China, we would have been looking at a TON of travel into and out of Beijing in order to get it done, and probably not done as well! So no complaints here, just not exactly how Kevin planned on spending so much of his time while in the States....

I've got to go get Noah up from his nap now, so I'll wrap up (we're a few days into China time and we are all making the time transition pretty well, but definitely trying to keep to a schedule with naps so as not to ruin the night time sleep!). As much fun as we all had while in the US, we have been absolutely thrilled to no end to hear each one of the kids say how happy they are to be back in China! It is an amazing testimony of His faithfulness that this place that is so foreign and offers so much less of what the world calls comfortable and convenient feels so much like home to all of us. They are certainly feeling the weight of not being able to go outside on a whim (Eli asks about 8 times a day when the next time is we are going out will be!) and not having the undivided attention of grandparents and an endless supply of playmates who speak the same language, but they regularly comment on how happy they are to be back home! We're headed to the international school this evening for a picnic with other families and a time of playing sports on the soccer field together. The older three kids start class this week on Thursday and Kevin has jumped back into his language study already (I'm taking another week off--and thankful for that decision as I look at the bags still left to be unpacked!). Off to conquer the jet lag.... :)

Where to begin?

2011-05-15T06:27:00.000-07:00

I guess I should start with an apology for falling so far behind on our usual weekly updates! The last 3 weeks have been a whirlwind, complete with internet failure for a week, visitors in town (a true highlight!), and now a computer on the fritz that makes downloading photos impossible! So I suppose that leaves you with my written word alone until I can edit the post to add photos (maybe not for another 2 weeks until we are back Stateside?!). Again, another apology!

So since our last update, our family celebrated Easter with other ex-pat friends who live here and had a BLAST. Complete with Easter lunch and an Easter egg hunt, our time with friends was precious and a true memory-maker. The following week we celebrated Hud's 4th birthday and my 33rd! We had lots of cupcakes and friends over for different celebrations. Hud's gift theme showed how well everyone here knows him--a vast array of Trasformer figures, robots, and various weaponry! He was thrilled beyond words and we had a hard time getting him out of the house to enjoy the warm weather because he only wanted to stay in and play with all of his new stuff! Thankfully there are enough new toys to pass around to two brothers, as one in particular (Noah) has a difficult time understanding why everything he sees is not his the moment he lays eyes on it!

The first weekend in May we had a dear friend (Joel) come in to town to visit. He lived here in Tianjin when we first arrived, also a student at our language school, and instantly became a member of our family. He has since left to go back to Canada for a while, then returned to a different part of China to work. We had a great time reconnecting with him and even taking a trip to the beach (a drive that was supposed to be a total of 4 hours and ended up being over 8!) for one day. We also made it to another teacher's wedding, arriving about 15 minutes late! We left our house in plenty of time to get there (so we thought), but hit unbelievable traffic, taking us about 45 minutes in the taxi to go the probably 3 miles to get there. The worst part was, rather than waiting until the service was over or being able to slip in the back row like we'd do if we were Stateside, they actually held the wedding ceremony for us until we arrived! Talk about embarrassing! Guess when you have a family of 6 (and then a guest in town, too), we kind of make a scene where ever we go! The bride didn't seem miffed at all, for which I was extremely thankful.

After Joel's visit we had a day to wash the guest sheets and towels to prepare for two of Kevin's dearest friends from baseball to come in town. Bryan and Mickey came for a week to help Kevin coach the baseball team he works with here in town and connect with some people in Beijing. It was an incredible visit, totally encouraging to us as a family and really helpful to Kevin as he is looking to deepen the relationships he has within the baseball community here in China. And they came with a bag full of treats! Fun stuff like flavored coffee creamer for Kevin and me and toys and candy for the kids. They wisely decided to spread out the gift-giving so that the kids got a little something each day--and talk about feeling like it was Christmas again! The kids (and Kevin and I) were truly sad to see them go.

So we finished up the week with a little more chaos. Kevin's wallet was apparently pick-pocketed from him while he was sleeping on the train on his way back from the Beijing airport. Of course it had both credit cards, his ATM card, driver's license, and a good deal of cash in it since he was traveling; but we were thankful that they didn't get his passport, at least! We've been scrambling this week to figure out how to quickly get new cards, etc., so we're not left high and dry here in China! And we hosted another one of our usual monthly movie nights for a group of friends this Saturday. We had about 12 people over for dinner and to watch "Blindside", which was a huge hit. We had good conversation afterward and are hopeful that the movie watching will lead to more future conversations with our friends.

We in the throes of preparing for our return to the US. And can't believe it's only 2 weeks away! The list of things yet to do continues to grow: finding a bunny-sitter, getting school payments made before leaving town, etc., but our anticipation is growing and we're super pumped to see our friends and family, eat some good ol' American cuisine (and Mexican, Italian, etc.), and breath some clean air!

Lots of People--Not Enough "Stuff"!

2011-04-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

So when you live in a country of 3.1 billion people, and a city of an estimated 9 to 11 million (depending on who you ask), there are bound to be some repercussions to such a large number of people and only a limited amount of resources (not to mention space to fit everyone!). We got to experience that up close and personal this morning when we helped host an Easter egg hunt for a group of our Chinese friends. A good friend of mine here (who also happens to be a Texas A&M grad--whoop!), Natalie, had the idea of hosting a hunt for our local friends and then having a picnic lunch afterward. She did a ton of work in prep, and had her mom, who has just come in town from the US for a visit, bring over lots of Easter goodies. So between the two of us, we showed up at the courtyard outside of her apartment complex this morning at 9:30 with probably 150 eggs with candy and 4 dozen or so hard-boiled, decorated eggs. Natalie also had prepared party favor-type bags, with "hot commodity" items of which she only had a limited number (things like extra-large plastic eggs that each had one big bag of candy in them or a toy, large bubble wands, small containers of playd0h, etc.). I didn't ever do a head count, because the number of people present seemed to be continually changing based on how many neighbors passing by decided to stop in and join our party, but at any moment there were between 15 and 25 kids involved.

The plan was to have one of our national friends first go through the story of Easter with the Res Eggs that are so popular in the US, then have the kids hunt for eggs themselves, conclude with a pizza lunch and then send everyone home with a bag of party favors to kind of even the playing field as far as the loot that each kid would return home with. Good plan--or so we thought! After we waited for everyone we were expecting to come to actually arrive (which was closer to 10:30 rather than our scheduled 9:30 start time, which is not a-typical in a culture where time is definitely NOT valued like it is in our western one), it started very quickly to feel like we were being swarmed with both parents and kids buzzing around to see what goodies were available to be snatched up. Before we knew it, the party favor bags were being sifted through and stuff being taken out, bubbles blowing in the wind as kids would carelessly grab one, spill the bubble solution, and reach for another without any thought of how few there were or any mention from the parents that maybe this was not the best option. In the US, I've often heard of Asians as being pushy or selfish, for example pushing ahead of you to get on the elevator or invading personal space while waiting in line. I have to be honest, and say that yes, this is one of my bigger challenges of patience in adapting in this new culture; but I also see how deeply this is ingrained in literally pretty much every person I seem to meet here! If you don't push to get on the elevator, you're not ever going to get on. If you aren't up on top of the person in front of you in line, someone else is going to cut in. And the person cutting in line is not rude or selfish, rather they are seen as shrewd and wise for taking advantage of the opportunity to do so. We truly are fish who cannot describe the water in which we swim. There is not a Chinese person I know who can identify this reality--it is just a part of who you are as a result of living in place with such an incredible amount of people with such a few amount of resources available!

At one point, the friend I had invited noticed her son had taken his second bubble wand out of the box that Natalie was helplessly trying to guard, and she asked me if it was okay that he was taking another. Not really knowing what to say, and not wanting her to be embarrassed, I told her that my friend had intended that each child take one bag home with them at the end of the party, stating that she only had a limited number of the items in the bag and emphasizing that we wanted each child to get one. I'm pretty sure that the problem was not a language one, but the mother's response left me standing speechless. She looked at me and smiled awkwardly, saying, "My son wants to have two." My thought: "Of course he does! But who is the parent here? And what about all the other kids that would like to have one?!" Instead of speaking these thoughts aloud, I looked at her with my eyebrows raised and just smiled weakly. There was absolutely nothing mean or challenging in the way she responded, but Kevin later described it (I think accurately) as more of a kind of helpless plea for understanding. Her child wanted two of the bubble wands. Who was she to tell him "no"? And thus the main parenting problem we observe here--commonly referred to as "the little emperor syndrome", where the child is the ruler of the home. He calls the shots. What he wants, goes. If he wants candy for dinner, he gets candy for dinner. If he wants to be held until he goes to sleep, he is held until he goes to sleep, regardless of what sacrifice that means on the parents' (or more often, the grandparents who are raising the child most of the hours of the day) part. it's amazing to me, and exhausting, as I watch with such sadness how the children get away with murder while the parent stands by--either looking helpless and beaten or angry and unpredictable in how they are responding to their child's inappropriate behavior.

So in the case of my friend, we're still analyzing exactly what was going on as far as why she wouldn't just say, "oops! Didn't realize there were so few bubble sticks!" and return the one her son had taken. But we do know that "saving face" here is the name of the game, and when you're embarrassed, you definitely don't want to acknowledge and wrongdoing (by yourself, or in this case, your child), but instead kind of try to just avoid the topic or situation. In looking back on it, I'm not sure if I should have handled it differently, maybe not pointing out that her son was really only supposed to have one bubble wand? The side of me that longs for justice wants to scream, "Boundaries! Have them! Enforce them--for everyone's sake!" But in the long run, is a bubble wand worth potentially hindering a relationship or an opportunity to extend love and grace to another? I wish I had the answer! But I do have a feeling that I need to have a plan, as I have NO DOUBT that such situations will arise again--probably in the near future, as there are so many kids and parents that seem to interact the same way; and we plan to continue to have interaction with our Chinese friends and their children!

So on a different note, Kevin and I had the joy of another date night tonight! We had 3 jr. high and high school girls come over to watch our 4 and took off with 2 other couples for dinner. We ate at the Pizza Hut here that is close by; a first for me since our move here over a year and a half ago. What I found so funny was the rigidity in ordering. Kevin wanted to order a sausage pizza, but that was not an option on the menu. There was, however, a sausage and shrimp pizza--which he was not excited about. So he asked the waitress if he could just have the sausage and shrimp pizza with no shrimp. Her response--no can do! If he wanted to take the shrimp off he would have to pay a significant amount more money--in spite of the fact that he was choosing to NOT have the more expensive topping! Crazy! So then our friends we were eating with told us of one time recently (also at Pizza Hut) that they tried to order plain cheese pizza. Again, the waitresses response--no can do! They apparently didn't have cheese pizza as an option! Hmm....a pizza place without pizza or cheese to put on top....not sure exactly how that one works... :) Thankfully, we were all able to laugh about it (rather than be frustrated by the rigid thinking--and ordering), and we enjoyed our Hawaiian pizza instead!

On our way to the taxi after dinner, we saw another couple obviously on a date. They were riding bikes side-by-side, and holding hands in the process! Wished I'd had my camera to capture the moment!

Up the Nose

2011-04-12T19:59:00.000-07:00

Our spring break finished up really well last week, in spite of a few close calls! I just finished telling a friend last week that I had been incredibly blessed that with 4 kids going through the toddler stage, we have not had a single incident of choking on toys or sticking small objects up the nose (or in an ear, etc.). Well, I obviously was speaking too loudly, because we had two incidents of objects of the nose within 3 days!!

After a fun day on Thursday of playing with friends and dog-sitting for a neighbor's dog (as seen in the photo) on Friday, our family met with another family (the Thorpes) who also have 4 kids a little older than ours (you've seen their pics before on the blog, as they are our kids favorite friends to spend time with here!). We met at the baseball complex which also has a track with a grassy area in the middle--completely free of doggie poo or huge masses of people! Our kids LOVE to go there and run, hit the baseball, play frisbee, etc. And to make it even better, it is walking distance from TGI Friday's--our favorite comfort food get-away! So after enjoying an evening of playing outside in beautiful temperatures and then eating burgers and chicken fingers (with honey mustard, of course!), we were doing our usual routine of hailing a taxi where Kevin is out in the street trying to wave one down and I have all 4 kids either by the hand or them with their hands on me. As soon as Kevin got a taxi to pull over, he turned to motion us out to join him in the street, and Hudson stepped off the curb without even looking; he was only centimeters away from being hit by a slew of electric bikes that were flying by at that moment! We all screamed, Hudson immediately began sobbing, and it took several minutes before any of our heart rates returned to normal. We were reminded again of His protection and how incredibly different safety is here in China! There is literally not a single moment that you can let your guard down, even when on a sidewalk, as cars and electric bikes frequently traffic even designated pedestrian areas. Also, the sheer number of people in constant motion coupled by the fact that traffic laws are merely suggestions rather than things that actually require being followed or receiving punishment if not make transportation and safety one of our continual biggest concerns. After the close call, Kevin and I both agreed that after many months of thinking through the subject, we both feel confident that purchasing a car for our family this fall is the best and wisest decision we can make.

Seems like a no-brainer in a lot of ways, but we've found the subject to be a slightly touchy one here in Tianjin. Would you believe that out of all the western families we know here, literally only 1 owns a car? We think it's largely because of the sub-culture within each ex-pat community in different cities. We know of two other cities (Beijing and Chengdu specifically) where almost every ex-pat family does own their own car, but that is just not the norm here in Tianjin! There are some obvious reasons not to purchase--there is not market for used cars, so it's not a good investment and requires purchasing a new car rather than an old one; the driving here is a totally different "style" from Stateside driving; if you can't communicate well enough verbally and an accident does take place, you're kind of out of luck. But the upsides to this family of 6, particularly in regards to safety and moving around during the long winter months have finally pushed us over the edge! So I just might be trading in my motorcycle-type 3 wheeler for a large mini-van come fall.... :)

After Hud's close call, we returned home to put a tired crew to bed, only to race into the bedroom at Hudson's panic-sounding cries. We discovered, as he choked out through frantic sobs, that he had stuck a Perler bead up his nose (a small bead you use in crafts)! We were able to get him to calm down and finally blow his nose hard enough to dislodge the bead, but both Kevin and I remain baffled as to what causes a youngster to try to fit an object into such a facial opening?

So after that, I got a text from Kevin on my cell phone yesterday while I was at a coffee shop studying stating that he had just removed 3 BB's (small plastic ones that the kids find outside) from Noah's nose using a pair of tweezers! Again--totally confused as to why all of a sudden this seems like a good idea! He was unaware of Hudson and the bead up the nose drama from this weekend, as we took Hud out of the bedroom and worked on him in the other room immediately. Maybe the fresh spring air is getting to my boys?

Speaking of Spring, I am including a photo of the cherry blossoms in bloom right now. We are LOVING both the aesthetic beauty and the sweet aroma that fills the air--so stark in contrast to the normal scents and the gray of winter that is finally lifting! We're getting outside as many hours as possible, trying to soak it all in and enjoy every moment we have of beautiful weather and no long underwear!

Last night, Kevin had a first. he went to dinner with Sam and one of the baseball players to eat hot pot (like fondue). Their menu--frogs, cow throat, and cow stomach lining! I asked Kevin how his own stomach was doing last night upon his return, and was surprised to hear that in spite of feeling a little queezy, he was actually doing okay. I guess we're getting more and more accustomed to some of the strange things we are ingesting these days?!

The night before last, our whole family had an interesting dining experience. Our landlord, who lives in England and I have never met before, showed up at our front door on Sunday afternoon! I was totally shocked and embarrassed, as our house was just about the messiest it has ever been! The boys had been building Legos all morning--so they were spread ALL over the living room floor. Noah had been playing with all the cars, racing them through the entire entryway, which was covered with cars and trucks. Karis had all of her dolls and animal figures out in different "houses" from her play time that morning in the kids' play room. I had been folding laundry, so had about 10 piles separated all over the guest room. You get the idea.... And then, we'd had the downstairs windows opened the night before, but unfortunately a dust storm had blown in, leaving a fine covering over all the floors and every surface area of the apt! I had done a quick cleaning that morning before we headed out to church, but it was far from well-done! So I got to take our landlord and her daughter from room to room, with them inspecting how "well" we'd kept up her house over the last year and a half of living here! To my surprise, she didn't seem disappointed or upset about the mess at all, and swore she'd called and e-mailed in advance before just showing up at my door (which I wonder about...). We were able to set a meeting time for the following night for us all to go to dinner, with the assumption (on our part) that we would negotiate our lease, which is up this summer.

So it was another cultural lesson for the Joseph family. After making it through an hour and a half dinner, with the kids doing surprisingly well in the situation, we left the restaurant not making any deals at all! But in spite of no contract, no money or terms even being mentioned, I think we still made forward progress. In China, it is all about the relationship--and we definitely bonded more than I thought we could have! The kids warmed up to our landlord and her daughter right away, which took me by surprise, as I wouldn't have described either as being "kid magnets" during our initial meeting. And before we left, our landlord told me 3 or 4 times not to worry, being very vague, but I think implying that we would work out the details of our rent and that she wanted us to be able to stay. She's even offered to come over this week or next to teach me how to roll jiao zi! Kevin told me on the way home how proud he was of me, knowing how difficult it is for this Type A person to hold back, wanting to get the negotiating started and one more thing checked off of my list! Again, so much to learn and so many opportunities to be stretched out of my comfort zone!!

A Much Appreciated Break

2011-04-04T23:32:00.000-07:00

I had no idea how ready I was for a break from our normal routine! The kids started their 10-day long spring break last Friday, and we kicked off the holiday with a dinner out to TGI Friday's with our friends Sam and Charis. It was totally refreshing and relaxing; it's hilarious how we can let the kids kind of run free in the restaurant due to the few number of people who are normally there to eat and the high population of Chinese staff who think our little "wai guo xiao peng you" (foreign small friends!) are cute enough to let them get away with whatever they want. After enjoying our American burgers, ribs, and chicken strips, along with HUGE cherry Cokes, we returned home with enough balloons to make each kid happy and the taxi driver constantly have to glance in his rear view mirror!

On Saturday we hosted another birthday party--a dual one for one of our national friends and for Sam, who happened to have their birthdays on the same day! We had fun watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" (with Chinese subtitles) after enjoying dinner and dessert together (traditional cupcakes for Sam and sour cream coffee cake that I made at my Chinese friend's request!). On Sunday we went to our international fellowship where I taught Karis' Sunday school class (a really cute group of 1st and 2nd graders). We followed up the service with lunch at Mc Donald's for the kids and KFC for me--we'd heard that they just came out with a new sandwich at KFC here in China that is called the Texas something-or-other BBQ sandwich! I thought we had to at least give it a try due to it's name! Not too bad, but not exactly Texas BBQ either!!

On Monday I decided to play hookie from class! With the kids being home all week, I knew I needed to plan something to keep us all busy and to keep them from driving one another crazy! So we're going through some VBS material that I happen to have which focuses on Creation and the Creator. So each morning this week we are doing a quick lesson, followed by a "field trip", and then returning home in the afternoon to do crafts or special projects that are best tackled when the youngest member of our family is napping! So on Monday we took off for the zoo--one of the kids' very favorite spots! They had an absolute blast exploring new nooks and crannies (most of which ended up in dead ends to some sort of maintenance area!) and gathering things for their "creation bags" to take home. Karis even had her drawing pad and pencil to record special things in the creation that she enjoyed but could not bring home. There was a HORDE of people there, due to Tuesday being a huge national holiday (grave sweeping day, where you're supposed to go and honor deceased relatives by cleaning or visiting their graves); so most people have work off on Monday and Tuesday of this week. I find it interesting that when there is a huge holiday, rather than just taking the time off of work or school, both businesses and schools make up for the holiday's missed hours by having class or work the previous Saturday and sometimes Sunday! So much for getting to enjoy a long three or four-day weekend...

Today (Tuesday), after we did our lesson we took off to go hike the backwoods of Trash Mountain. Karis' teacher and my friend Natalie, along with her two little ones, joined our hiking and picnic lunch. The kids came home covered in dirt (but relatively clean dirt, so no complaints here!) and thoroughly having enjoyed their outing. As I type, they are currently spending time with one of their favorite people here in Tianjin--Ms. Barbara! She came over to bake cookies, read with, and just have play time with the older three for several hours this afternoon. When living in a place where time with grandparents is MUCH less than any of us would choose, it is such an amazing blessing to have someone willing and excited to invest in the lives of our little ones, being a godly example of what life can look like when you're living for Him... We are sooooo thankful!

So after two days of focusing on just being a mom--not doing homework, folding laundry (our ayi is off due to the national holiday, so I'm doing more than my normal share of trying to keep us in clean clothes!), not hostessing any (I realized that as much as I LOVE hostessing, I was getting a little burned out and needed a break--thus my intentionally trying to just focus on my family of 6 this week rather than cooking for or hostessing others!), and just having time to play with my kids--I've decided that I'll take another day off of class tomorrow!! I got permission from Kevin, and think I am going to spend some more time tomorrow afternoon just reading and playing Legos with my kids. The time is just too short! Is it really possible that I'm going to be a mom of a seven year old this summer?! Talk about incentive to redeem the time!!

Warming Up..... :)

2011-03-28T04:42:00.000-07:00

So we've decided that the change in weather makes a HUGE difference to all of us! Besides not being so excited about how early the sun comes up (making it a lot less likely for the kids to sleep in at all on the weekends), we are loving the change in seasons! I didn't even wear my long underwear today--at least not until I left for class this afternoon. Our school building, like every other building in the city, has been without heat for the last week and a half. You'd be AMAZED at how cold and drafty the insides of buildings feel when the high temperature hasn't broken 60 degrees outside yet! It feels weird to be experiencing the coming of spring by seeing warming temperatures and even a few buds on trees, and yet to feel colder inside than we have in months!

This last week Kevin and I both had lunch with one of Kevin's former teachers. She is engaged to a really nice guy who lives in Beijing who Kevin has become friends with. The funny thing to me was that when I went to the school to meet up with the two of them, I ran into 3 of my Chinese friends. All 3 of them asked the same question immediately upon seeing Kevin and me both there at school--"Where are the kids?!" I think mainly because in China, most of the time both parents work full-time and the grandparents raise the grandkids until they are 3 and head off to Chinese kindergarten, the idea of wanting "time off" or getting away from home is totally foreign. The idea of married couples having dates, especially if they have kids, is even more unusual--to the extent that when Kevin and I DO have a date night and I try to explain it to a Chinese friend, they literally don't understand, thinking I'm using the wrong word, that a "date" for a married couple is something that just doesn't happen! I realized how unusual this is to our American culture (and to our "old normal" where we lived a mile from my parents and were blessed to have my mom in particular insist on Kevin and I having weekly date nights) when I talked with my sister today. She told me about her church providing child care so that the small groups within the church could have a time set apart for the adults to have talk-time without the strain of having to find babysitters. What an amazing concept!

But to answer my friends' question, I left both Noah and Hudson with our ayi for me to be able to join Kevin and his former teacher for lunch. She only had to watch the two of them for about half an hour before putting them down for nap time and then Kevin returning home while I went on to class, but my friends were still impressed that our ayi could handle two little boys at one time! They all agreed that they must be very "ting hua"--or obedient! I countered with the offer of them being better described as rowdy, but know what consequence any disobedience would bring! Our lunch was great, and both ayi and the boys made it through the afternoon unscathed...

On Thursday night I had a fun time feeling my cheeks turn a little bit red. We had a group of friends over, and one of them was a co-worker of Leif's who we had never met. She didn't really speak any English (that I could tell, anyway!), so I was a little more nervous about our social interaction. After dinner, we moved into the living room and I was serving tea. When I was pouring tea for this woman (named Eva), she put out her hand and tapped the coffee table right next to her tea cup about 4 or 5 times in a row with her first two fingers. The first time she did this, I was almost done pouring. I panicked a little, trying to remember what the finger tap signal meant! Was it that she wanted more? That I had already poured enough? I was pretty sure it was one of the two, but couldn't remember for the life of me which! The second time I went to pour, she started tapping as soon as I started pouring. This time, I had to admit my ignorance, as I didn't know what she was trying to communicate and didn't want to offend her by pouring too much or not enough! I apologized (of course in Chinese) and asked her to remind me of what her meaning was! She responded (rather embarrassed herself!) that she was simply saying thank you! Everyone in the room got a good laugh, and I was thankful to have the lesson deeply ingrained, certain not to be forgotten again!

Our weekend was filled with great time with more Chinese friends. My oldest friend here, who is my first teacher I had, came over with my other best friend Ying Ying to celebrate her birthday. My first teacher Zhen Zhen has just gotten married--but her wedding is in September of this year! In China, you are officially married once you have the license--and getting through the red tape to get a license can be a real pain. So my friends Zhen Zhen and her now-husband Victor went ahead with the official document and then will have their wedding in a few months after time to prepare for it and schedule a location. Weddings here are almost always held in restaurants, and the wedding and reception are all in one venue (most of the time). Zhen Zhen actually asked Karis and one of the boys (she doesn't mind which one!) to be in the wedding as ring bearers! We thought there was a chance of this, as she has always adored the kids and they have gotten really close to her, too. The funny thing is that the other teacher that Kevin and I had lunch with earlier this week just happens to be getting married on the same day, the same time, only in a location much further away! We'd already decided we would divide and conquer--Kevin taking two of the kids with me to his former teacher's wedding and me taking two to Zhen Zhen and Victor's. I have no doubt I'll be having a whole new cultural experience as I go into wedding planning mode with my friend!

On Saturday, Kevin took Eli on a "daddy date" to hike around Trash Mountain. I therefore, was left with the other three, but really wanting to go shopping! So I decided to throw caution to the wind and trek on over to what is often called the "walking street" where tons of shopping is done. There is a store there called H&M (which is now in Dallas, too, I hear) that has clothes here that actually fit and are more American-style (ie, my style!), than anything else I've found. So I took the kids the 30-minute taxi ride away to make it there, with the promise of ice cream and lunch at Papa John's if they behaved well. I was super blessed to have my friend Charis willing to join us on our adventure, and was even more thrilled to have Noah even willing to let Charis carry him around some of the time (he doesn't like being carried by anyone, as he'd much rather go his own direction when he can!).

We had a great time shopping together--not finding the black pants that I was hoping for, but finding some other fun spring-type clothes. We then hiked over to the Papa John's pizza where Kevin and Eli met us after their time at Trash Mountain. We even splurged and enjoyed Cold Stone Creamery after our pizza lunch! Talk about living large! We thought about going to TGI Friday's for dinner that night, but both Kevin and I laughed that doing so felt like it would be pushing the limit in how much of a "western day" we should experience all at once! Pizza, real ice cream and burgers all in one day? Are you kidding?! Where's the rice?! :)

Saturday night our friend Jennifer came over to hang out. She is the friend who usually babysits for us when we do get date nights, but with her busy school schedule (she is a PE teacher at the international school) and coaching, as well as tutoring that she does on the side, her schedule hasn't allowed her much time to watch our four little ones! We had fun playing and eating with her, and are continually reminded of how thankful we are for the many blessings of friendships He continue to bring our way!

Lifting my eyes...

2011-03-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

"I lift up my eyes to the hills--where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep."

The group of ladies I study with every other week has been memorizing Ps 121 together as part of our study homework--and let me tell you, right now I'm feeling the need more than ever to lift up my eyes to those hills!!! I truly HATE to admit it, but over a year and a half into living in a different country and I still marvel (almost daily) at how I can feel the differences, feel the strain of trying to adapt to a new culture. The weight of struggling to become proficient in the language, the frustration of not being able to communicate with others the way my heart desires, the irritation over so many cultural differences that oftentimes rub me the wrong way, the sheer number of people I am constantly bumping into and "competing" with just to check out in line at the grocery store--it has yet to become my new normal! And how desperately I want to be there; the point that the little things don't frustrate and even anger me, the ease of being able to communicate fluently in the heart language of the people I am growing to love more and more, the sense of finally having "arrived" at being able to find peace and refreshment at just "being" here in China. I wonder when that day will come? And will it be all of a sudden--one day that the little things just don't seem so big any more? Or will it be such a gradual progression over the years that I don't even notice that I am changing? And if that is the case, then what does that mean when I return to the US and interact with others there? Will I be totally unable to fit in to either culture? (And this isn't even mentioning my kids, who are truly experiencing the effects of living in two or more cultures in a way that even Kevin and I am not!) Ah, to lift my eyes to the hills and trust in Him who neither slumbers nor sleeps.... I truly delight in the knowledge that He who has planned each step of our journey promises He will not let our feet slip. In the midst of so much uncertainty, in feeling like such a foreigner so much of the time, what more can I ask for? What else do I need?

The longer we spend here in China, the more convinced I am that we are exactly where we are supposed to be--in spite of my former "ramblings" of the challenges that accompany us on this journey! The highs are vastly higher than anything Kevin and I have experienced--thus, perhaps, the reason for our sheer exhaustion at the end of most days? The emotional energy we feel we expend on a regular basis is unlike anything we've known before. Maybe a little of what Paul is referring to when he talks of being "poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service" of another's faith?

So along this pilgrimage we are so thankful for the fellow sojourners He has given us! This weekend we enjoyed a morning of fellowship with 7 other ex-pat couples (or families, as some have children) who came over to our house for play time and lunch. We were refreshed by the time of relaxing and bonding with our dear friends. Kevin had come back from an incredibly long day on Friday. We went to Beijing, leaving our house at 5:30am to catch the train and then meet a friend who had set up for Kevin to help teach baseball to a bunch of Chinese businessmen/women. It was GREAT language practice for Kevin, and of course a totally "China experience" (meaning crazy, compared to what we previously considered normal!). Kevin and his friend Tony met up with the two companies who were participating in the baseball activity for the day (the reason being team-building exercises within the company for its employees) and rode the bus with them for about an hour and a half to their destination--which was a "baseball field" located in a facility in between a driving range and an ostrich/reindeer petting zoo! Kevin was given the privilege of entertaining the employees on the bus during the ride to their destination, so after he ran out of things to say in Mandarin, he switched his approach, singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" into the microphone! How I wish I had that one on tape.... :) He returned that night by about 9pm, exhausted but feeling like the day was a success overall.

The first two photos are of one of the exercises during the day--taking turns jumping over a baseball bat--and one of the third basewoman taking a call on her cell during the game!

The rest of our weekend was spent relaxing for the most part. The photo is proof that kids are really creative in where they are willing to play! This one is Hudson in the bathtub with his Legos; for no reason other than he thought that would be a fun spot to play! We had the blessing of some really warm weather last week, so we had lots of great outdoor play time. But another cold front has come in, with the highs the last several days in the lower 50's with pretty strong, cold winds. Our heat was turned off yesterday, so we're on our own now to bundle up, pull back out the long undies, and wait patiently for spring to arrive in Tianjin! We're hoping that the next week or two will bring temps in the 50's or 60's and maybe even some buds on the trees?

We also purchased plane tickets to return to the US this summer! We are thrilled to have 2 months to spend there, visiting friends and family as we'll travel 'round the country! The kids are really excited and already planning out some of the things they're most excited about--Chick-fill-A, Chuck E Cheese, swimming pools, etc.! We're hoping and counting on the time to be a chance to recharge and gear up again for some more cross-cultural adaptation!!

Super Dad!

2011-03-15T05:54:00.000-07:00

As if I didn't know he was amazing before, this past weekend Kevin set some new records in "Dad amazing-ness!" I'm going to be very un-Chinese-ee here for a minute and brag on my hubby (in Chinese culture, you're actually supposed to talk more negatively about your spouse rather than positively, because talking positively about them comes across as being braggadocios; who says you have to acculturate to all aspects of Chinese culture?!). So this past weekend I spent in Beijing--without kids or Kevin! Talk about a total break from the norm....

On Friday I had a girls' day of shopping! I played hooky from class and went with 5 other western friends in a van with a hired driver into Beijing. One of my best friends here, after living in Tianjin for 19 years, is moving back to the States this summer indefinitely. Our family is heartbroken! For those of you who look at our blog regularly, you'll probably know about the Thorpe family, whose 4 kids look like and act like older siblings to my 4 little ones. Their kids range in age from 10 to 16 and are absolutely amazing, and my kids' favorite people in China. So needless to say, our family is grieving their moving back to the States, and our group of foreign women have several things planned to do together this spring in preparation for the Thorpes leaving. So my friend Audrey put together this shopping trip, into Beijing and some of her favorite places--an antique furniture warehouse, a large import grocery store, a floral market (that also sells other houseware and decor items), and the biggest Starbucks I've seen in China (by far!). We ladies had a day of fun, and I even made a few purchases myself! (I'm including a pic of one of the tables I got for our living room so you can see some of the fun finds we get here--neat Chinese antiques at a steal of a deal compared to US prices!)

So while I was gone on Friday, the older two kids were at school, but Kevin had an amazing adventure planned for all of them upon their return from the bus stop. He planned a GI Joe adventure, complete with toy helicopters that had "crash landed" in the courtyard area tress close to our apartment building. The kids each had specific tasks they had to accomplish in order to progress to the next phase of the adventure. They absolutely loved every minute! Then on Saturday, the second adventure began. This one's theme was Transformers, and it took Kevin to the zoo with all 4 kiddos (and his friend Sam, who also didn't want to miss out on the adventure:). When I asked Kevin what they did for lunch, he explained that he had packed a picnic lunch, complete with pb and jelly sandwiches for everyone except himself, as he ended up one short somehow! He scavenged the kids' leftovers, and therefore was able to hold off on his own lunch til their afternoon return home. He also had purchased small tablets of paper for each of the kids for them to record what they saw. When I got home on Saturday night I had an entire stack of pictures to go through that was their handiwork from their time exploring at the zoo! Talk about precious! They were all clamoring to talk at once, eager to share their adventures of the weekend.

My Saturday was spent with my precious Chinese friends, Ying Ying and Shan Shan. We had a friend coming in from the States to do a teaching seminar on parenting and cultural differences that was to last all day Saturday. Rather than coming home late on Friday evening and then turning around a leaving again on Saturday morning, Kevin suggested that I stay in a hotel on Friday night. And then Charis, one of my dear friends here who was also going shopping with our group of ladies on Friday, thought she too would love a night in Beijing and even had her dad willing to use some of his frequent flyer miles to make it possible for us to do so. We even were upgraded to "executive status" (which is not the norm, for me!). Talk about a fun weekend of being spoiled. Great time with friends and a lot of learning on Saturday, as well.

Ying Ying, Shan Shan and I took the train back into Tianjin on Saturday. In order to get to the train station, we rode the subway--which was total insanity! I've never been so crowded in my life. I tried to capture it on film, thus the photo of the tops of heads (mostly dark-haired!), as I held up my camera while moving along one of the subway lines.

The kids' favorite part of me being gone for the weekend--besides Kevin's adventures, that is--was the box that one of the chairs I purchased came in! It was huge, and has been all sorts of things--a cave, a spaceship, a new home for Bo the bunny--you name it. We'll see how long it lasts in our living room, but for now, it is getting much love!

China Day

2011-03-07T22:57:00.001-08:00

So we've decided we're making progress. Saturday is what Kevin and I typically refer to as a "China Day", our meaning being a day that seems chalk-full of things that just don't go as you had planned! I thought I'd give a quick overview of the day:

EARLY rising due to the fireworks being set off all around us (not sure of the reason!)
Forgot to bring the bike lock needed to secure our double jogging stroller on our outing to Trash Mountain, where we planned to spend the morning hiking around and exploring as a family; resulted in me jogging back home and then a return jog to meet the rest of the fam (probably about an extra 1 mile trek to my journey)
bought kites to fly at the park, making a special stop into a store to do so, only to arrive at the park and realize that the kites had no string attached, making them un-flyable for the time being!
left my gloves resting on top of the double stroller when we began our hike, leading to another quick jog to recover them and re-join the fam (another added 1/2 mile or so)
wasn't "on top" of Noah as close as our Chinese friends think I should have been, resulting in him tripping and falling during our hiking and me getting fussed at by the multiple Chinese grandma's around ogling over our blonde-haired little ones
discovered that one of Karis' gloves fell out of her pocket somewhere along the way once we had almost reached home, making this the second pair of gloves to have one missing for her in the last 3 weeks (and with weather too cold to make going without not an option!)
parted ways with Kevin on our return journey for him to go order food at a nearby restaurant for our party we were hosting that night, only to find that he still had my keys with him, making my hungry-for-lunch crew of kids have to wait outside our apartment building for an extra 15 minutes while awaiting his return (and an added jog rather than walk for him as he hurried home to rescue us)
had a group of 12 people coming to our house for dinner and a movie night, 3 of whom canceled at the last minute, and then one who re-RSVP'd as coming a short time later, making food and table preparation that much more challenging
our food ordered from the restaurant arrived 45 minutes later than it was supposed to arrive

And yet, Kevin and I both agreed that we would sum up our day as really good overall! The stressors that seemed to formerly push us to the brink of sanity seem to be part of our new "normal", and we find that both exhausting and encouraging!

So on our way to church on Sunday Kevin asked me whether I was afraid that living in China was going to have "long term negative emotional effects" on me. I was shocked at the depth of the question and unable to immediately respond as I was in the back of the taxi with three of the kids (while Kevin was up front with one), hoping to keep Noah's screaming to a minimum. I'm pretty sure the reason he asked the question in the first place was because we had spent a little while the night before evaluating how we felt the kids were doing at this stage of transition to living cross-culturally, and also because I'd had a strange day or two last week where I just felt "off". I had taken Hud to school on a Wednesday, which is not his normal day to attend, and the change in our normal routine seemed to just throw me for a loop and leave me with a knot in my stomach. I found myself asking, "Where am I? What is going on around me that I don't understand? What is this older Chinese person trying to say to me? Is this really my home? Do I have any friends here? etc..." Luckily I recovered from my little "episode" rather quickly and painlessly, but Kevin nonetheless that I was still deep in "processing" mode.

As I had more time to reflect on his question, I was able to reply enthusiastically that while there are no doubt a ton of challenges and trials that I'm feeling tested by (literally every day!), I really feel like James 1 is playing itself out in my life--that I am learning more and more how to find joy in the midst of those challenges and even seeing them (most days!) as the tests of our faith that they are intended to be. I hope that I am growing more in my dependence on Him, as I'm daily finding myself in situations that push me beyond what I feel are my natural limits. I daily cling to Him emotionally, as I miss what is familiar and our dear family and friends who are back in the States. I trust Him and His stability in my life more and more as I find that things around us change in the blink of an eye, making routine and stability here feel like an impossibility. I look to Him for strength and energy, as I feel more exhausted and spent by the end of the day than I ever dreamed possible. I chose to believe His promises, in spite of discouragement as I face the daily grind of trying to learn a REALLY hard language and manage all the tasks I have as a mom and a wife, not to mention the many blessings He's entrusted to us in Chinese friends looking for influence and counsel.

So am I suffering from long term negative effects of living here in China? I hope not! I truly believe that if He sends us back to the States today, the changes He's wrought at least in my own heart have been significant enough to make all the trials, all the tests, all the challenges, totally worth the energy and the tears they've required. Now that being stated, I'll still be honest enough to add that we feel the "grind" of living here! We have not matured yet to the point that we are walking lightly every moment of the day, breezing through conversations and life circumstances with the greatest of ease.... But hoping that our "plod" is pleasing to Him, and coveting your thoughts on our way!

BTW, the photo is one I got during a quiet Sunday evening of family Wii time. Noah even insists on being curled up close to Kevin with a remote in hand to make sure that he is not left out of the adventure!

"Where ya goin'?"

2011-03-01T04:09:00.000-08:00

Another first for me today. I was waiting out in the road when the taxi that I hailed pulled over and asked, "Ni qu nar?" (or "Where ya going?" in English translation). You can imagine the shocked look on his face when I immediately responded, "America!" (in Chinese, of course!). I'm not sure if he or I was more surprised, and I quickly laughed and corrected my mis-speech, telling him rather that I wanted to go to E Mart, the supermarket close by. I would like to think that my mistake was due to the fact that I had just been chatting with a few men while they fixed the flat tire on my double stroller and they were asking similar questions (about where I was from, what I was doing here, did I really have four children, etc.), but Kevin suggested that maybe my response to the taxi driver's question was a subconscious homesickness coming out! Hoping it was the former, as I've been feeling more emotionally stable and well-rooted here in China more than ever!!

While I was waiting for the repair man to fix my tire I was visiting with a grandmother watching over her 3 year old. By the way, I was overjoyed to find the repair man. This particular man can be found almost every day underneath the bridge near our home with his 3 wheeler filled with bike repair gear, but for awhile now he hasn't been around. I'm guessing it's because the weather has been so cold. As best we can tell, he lives under the bridge with his gear? When he finished repairing and replacing the inner tube of my tire, I was all too happy to hand him the 20 kuai (less than $3) he asked for without even bargaining! Anyway, I cracked up while visiting with this grandmother as she was trying to figure out what in the world I was doing with a stroller so large (it's my double jogging stroller that I just brought back from the US with us in January, and use to walk both boys to Hudson's preschool which is a couple miles away two mornings each week). I was explaining that I had 4 kids, and she interrupted, asking if I lived at Yang Guang Yi Bai (our apartment complex, which houses supposedly 30,000 people. That's right, I typed correctly! 30,000! Guess that's not so strange when you consider it's a city of 11 million....). When I told her I did, she immediately knew who I was, asking if my oldest was a daughter about yea high and then several small boys... It was so funny! Gotta love the celebrity status that comes with having multiple kids within a country that has a one-child policy!

Our past week has been great. We had temperatures that got all the way up to 50 degrees Fahrenheit up until Friday (when it snowed and dropped down into the teens once again!). The kids haven't seemed to mind though, and we've had fun playing outside in the snow and inside on the Wii (on those afternoons that I just wasn't up for the "bundle up and still get freezing cold hands" routine! We had friends over on Thursday night (you can see Leif and Ying Ying in the picture with the kids), and the kids were all too happy to snuggle up on the couch with them to finish watching their movie before the grown-ups had their dinner and talk time.

It was also our ayi's birthday on Thursday, so we celebrated with cupcakes and gifts the kids had made her, and gave her a store-bought cake that she could take home as her birthday present (we asked around to make sure, but this is culturally appropriate here in China to give a cake as a present!). When she came back on Monday she told us that her family had all come over on Saturday (which is their normal weekend routine, as Ayi is the one who is the main caretaker of her mother who lives with them), so her whole family was able to enjoy the cake. The funny thing was that she told us they were all so surprised because none of them knew that it was her birthday! We're not sure if that's just because birthdays aren't celebrated as much here or if it has to do with confusion over the dates because some people celebrate based on their actual birth date and some by the lunar calendar?

Another funny cultural realization I had from my class time this week: calling a person by name. I remember asking my first teacher here what I should call her boyfriend when I met him. She was stumped by my question! When I asked her what she called him, she responded with, "I don't!" I was so confused, and therefore pushed the issue, certain that at some point she had to get his attention. She explained that when she did have to call to him directly, which rarely happened, she would use his full name (last name first, then first name, which is usually two words. For example my Chinese last name is Zhou and first name is Ai Lian, so people here call me Zhou Ai Lian when they call me by name! I figured that surely this was just a strange idiosyncrasy of my teacher, but have since realized that it's true across the board--Chinese people rarely call one another by name, even in a husband and wife relationship! So how do they refer to one another, I ask? Within a marriage, you refer to your spouse as "lao gong" or "lao po" (which translates into "old worker" or old man and "old woman"--regardless of age!). And then once you have kids, you usually refer to your spouse as "so-and-so's Ma" or "so-and-so's Ba" (which is short for Mama and Baba, or mother and father). How crazy is that! I'm trying to imagine calling to Kevin across the house with "Zi Xuan, Zi Yang, Zi Hang, Zi Nuo de Ba!" just to get his attention! Think I'll stick with "Kev"!

Kevin has resumed his work-outs with the baseball team, and is really encouraged by his relationship with the Chinese coach who has just returned (he was gone all last year "on loan" to a Japanese team). He had Kevin coaching the pitchers today, which he was thrilled about, because he feels that they are lacking some basic instruction on how to use their whole bodies properly in order to maximize their potential as pitchers. The coach was obviously happy with Kevin's coaching, and even asked him to travel with the team this season, which supposedly begins in April! We shall see what fun stories lie ahead with baseball travel adventures.... :)

While he was at the team's practice last week he took this great picture of their training regiment--pushing a truck with no wheels while the coach sat on top! I laughed out loud when Kevin told me about it and showed me the picture, but he defended their concept, stating that the players were certainly getting a full-body workout in the challenge of moving the vehicle! I'm kind of guessing that the players Stateside who are in spring training as we speak aren't experiencing the same type of work-outs that we're seeing here...

1 year, 5 months, 18 days

2011-02-21T03:55:00.000-08:00

Before we moved to China, we were told during one of our training seminars that it takes 15 years or longer to begin to "break in" to a new culture. After this last week, I'm beginning to think that we are on the "or longer" track! Although we've lived here in Tianjin for almost a year and a half, I'm am still absolutely amazed at how much we have to learn about the cultural differences between China and our western thinking.

Last weekend Kevin's friend Leif came over to our house (which is a normal weekly occurrence). During dinner, he casually made the comment that one of his co-workers had a friend (whom he had never met personally) who had asked if each time Leif came over to our house, he could bring this friend of his co-worker's with him so that she could practice her English. Kevin and I immediately started chuckling together in unison, then quickly realized with shock that Leif was NOT laughing with us! We exchanged surprised glances then began back-pedaling as fast a we could--asking what he thought about this request. He shared that he understood and didn't think it at all strange--in spite of the fact that he was a regular guest and dear friend of our family and he had yet to meet this other friend of a friend! Thus the Chinese emphasis on relationships (their word is guanxi); a concept that truly lies at the core of this culture and what they value most. This prompted a long discussion on how the concept of guanxi works, and how a person can ever fulfill the obligations that come with these closely tied relationships. In China, you don't make friends quickly or without much consideration, as once you are "in" someone's inner circle, you are committed to do pretty much anything for them that they may ask (such as borrowing money, doing all sorts of inconvenient favors, etc.). While Kevin and I have been aware of the significance of guanxi, the thing that surprised us the most is how wide these circles can reach. The fact that a friend of a co-worker would make such a request, based on a mutual friendship, was truly shocking for us both (and scary at the same time, with Kevin and I both wondering how many friends of friends might call us up wanting a trip back to the States, etc.!!!). So we have lots to learn. We still haven't figured out exactly how all of this works, but are just beginning to see the complexity of the matter....

After the guanxi conversation, as I was clearing dishes, Leif and Kevin were looking at the recent addition of new photos to our refrigerator. Leif told us that he, too, had put photos on his fridge, but that our family's picture was "right here"--indicating the upper right hand corner of the fridge. Kevin and I, once again exchanging surprised glances, questioned the significance of where our family's photo was located. Leif explained (after much prompting), that the upper right hand corner was the most valuable position for the photo to be! Kevin, quickly scrambling to re-arrange our photos so that the ones with Leif were also in the upper right hand corner, explained to Leif that we had not previously had such a hierarchy of photo arrangement, and that we were thankful he had enlightened us! But it has left us wondering--are we going to be scrambling to re-arrange the photos now every time we have our friends over whose pictures also happen to be on our fridge?

The other two things we learned about culturally that night from Leif had to do with Chinese traditions. One is that his mom told him he was not allowed to get his hair cut during the 15 day celebration of Chinese New Year. The consequence of doing so: his uncle would die! The second (after seeing Karis' gaping hole in the front of her mouth and discussing the tooth fairy of the US), was what Chinese people do when they loose their baby teeth. If it is one of your top teeth, you throw it outside on the ground, thus ensuring that your top teeth will grow down out of your gums properly. Likewise, if it is a bottom tooth, you throw it up on the roof, ensuring proper growth up from your gum line!

So for whatever reason, after our short time away in China, the cultural differences seem to be rolling in more heavily than normal, and leaving us feeling slightly frustrated and irritated more than we usually are. (I must admit to feeling downright angry when I was in the elevator and the lady next to me hocked the biggest lugi I've seen right at my feet. It took all I had within me not to drop a , "Come on! Could you really not wait 30 seconds until we got outside to do that?!" But hey, this is China, not the US, and the cultural norms are just NOT the same. And I'm the one living in THEIR home country, so I know it's my job to humble my heart, bite my tongue when necessary, and recognize that different is not always bad (except maybe for the spitting thing; I can't see that I'll ever really see that as "good"!)

So my goal: the next time I go to E Mart to buy diapers and wait in line for one hour (well, maybe more like 55 minutes) while having the other people in line literally looking all through my basket to see what the foreigner is buying; the next time I ride my bike to school and play chicken on the way with all the taxi drivers who think the bike lane is better used as a passing lane for them; the next time I see a little kid with crotchless pants peeing in public at a store entryway, I can remember why I am here and how much I have developed a love for these people who have so graciously and patiently welcomed me into their world which is so different from mine!

In the meantime, I praise Him for bits and pieces of familiarity. For our Valentine celebration of decorating sugar cookies with friends (as shown in the pic) and of beautiful snow falling (and even warmer temps these last few days--all the way up to 50!).

The other pics are taken the last day of the Chinese New Year celebration after the lantern festival. On that night we had firecrackers and fireworks going off literally non-stop from about 3 pm until after Kevin and I went to bed at 11 pm. The thing I didn't take into consideration as we listened to the war going on outside of our windows--the clean up the next day that was required (and handled incredibly efficiently, I must say, with huge crews of men and women all over with large brooms)! So I suppose at this point we're down to about 13 1/2 years until we really start to get it.... But who's counting?! :)

Will try again....

2011-02-15T05:11:00.000-08:00

Wow. Talk about frustration hitting a maximum! I've been feeling totally swamped in trying to catch up on life this week, but "things" keep seeming to happen that slow me down! I set aside all last night to FINALLY catch up on the blog, and after spending well over an hour, it all (except for the first word!) disappeared into cyber space. Zenme ban?! (That means, "what can you do?!") So here we go again. Rather than going as in-depth as I had on the last one, I've lowered my goal to at least get you all caught up on the last three weeks we've been away from the computer, and then will have to follow up with details from this week hopefully later this week!

So in an attempt to justify my truancy from Chopstick Rookies, I'll back up to Jan. 18, the last date I posted a blog update. That night, I came down with horrible flu-like symptoms. After 3 days of total misery (with me feeling like death warmed over and unable to get out of bed and Kevin managing his usual load PLUS all the extra kid/home/school duties for the kids), we decided it was time to head to the international hospital in Beijing and get my body some help! Kevin had a speaking engagement that morning at the international school for the elementary kids' chapel service, so while on his way, he managed to get friends lined up to watch kids and a driver arranged to bring the two of us into Beijing. Thankfully, the trip only took about 2 and a half hours, and I spent the rest of the day getting pumped with all sorts of stuff through an IV (anti-nausea meds, ibuprofen, and finally antibiotics). After running tests we discovered that my illness was NOT a major bout with the flu, but rather a bacterial infection that had most likely come through something I'd eaten (so food poisoning!). What was almost as big a bummer as feeling like my body was absolutely going to shut down on me was the fact that I'm pretty confident that the food culprit was the Subway sandwich I had eaten for lunch the day I'd gotten sick! Talk about disappointing when one of the major tastes of home you can get is all of a sudden marked off of your list of possible comfort food options (at least until I forget about the misery it caused!)!!

So while we were at the international hospital, the cultural differences between Chinese medicine and western medicine still shined through! When we first arrived, my fever was at 104 and I was trying to keep down some cold water (which felt great on my parched throat). But in China, you're not supposed to drink cold water, especially in the winter! So I was totally fussed at by the nurse. And in fact, I'm pretty sure that she marked somewhere on my chart that the cold water must have been the cause of my condition rather than the bacteria I had ingested from bad meat!! Then when they brought me some Tylenol to take, the cup of water they handed me was hot water! I had to laugh a little as I tried to choke down the pills with water that was almost to warm to swallow comfortably!

After being treated all day, the doctor felt fairly confident in the diagnosis of the food poisoning, but I still had a fever and had only had the antibiotics in my system for a few hours (and I have a history of being somewhat resistant to different forms of antibiotics for infections). So rather than going back home to Tianjin, he recommended that we spend the night in a nearby hotel so that if my symptoms got worse, we could quickly return to the hospital. [He also gave us the option of spending the night in the hospital, but said that we wouldn't be getting treated, just observed, and it would probably cost us around $4000! He was pretty confident we could find a hotel that suited our preferences for cheaper than that.] So as I finished up my treatment, Kevin walked around the neighborhood and found a hotel. I found it ironic that the week before I had told a friend that I was having a itch to try to find friends to watch the kids and have Kevin and I be able to get away to a hotel for a night--away from the usual routine, early morning wake ups by the kids, and responsibilities you feel when at home. So I did get my night away with my hubby, but after 3 days of eating only 1/3 of a banana I'm pretty sure I was not the engaging companion that makes a fun trip like that as fun as it could have been! Talk about slightly different circumstances than I had imagined!

The antibiotics did work their magic, and by the next day I was able to walk around some and we headed back to Tianjin to the kids, arriving by early afternoon. While we were gone, the kids had a blast! We had two friends pick them up from the school bus and bring them home (Sam and Charis), then they went to another family's house (the Thorpes) to play and eat dinner, then another friend came over and had a sleepover on our couch (Barb), and then Sam and Charis came back the next day with lunch and to relieve Barb in watching the wild hoodlums until we got home. I'm pretty sure the kids didn't even know we were gone! We can't begin to express how thankful we are for the "family" we have here who are so willing to go above and beyond to serve our family. We are truly blessed beyond what we could have asked for or imagined!

So after we returned from Beijing I had several days to finish preparing for our trip to Thailand. Our company has an annual conference there for its employees that involves times of fellowship and training.

Our time in Thailand was amazing! We had fantastic teaching and time connecting with others, and to make it ever better, some of my family was able to come! My brother-in-law, Rob, and sister, Sarah, headed up the kids program for the whole week we were there. And they brought along my mom and their little 18 month old, Ben, too! So while we were in meetings for 7 hours a day, they were in charge of entertaining and keeping alive 31 kids between the ages of 1 1/2 and 17 (with several other helpers, too). They did an AMAZING job, and were thoroughly pooped by the end of the week! While having them there was a blessing beyond words, I must admit that the sweetness also left a bitter taste as we returned to China this past weekend and were reminded of how difficult the separation is from those we love so dearly. I have shed more than a tear or two this week in that capacity....

But on a lighter note, one of my favorite memories from the week was Noah and his response to the natural beauty we were surrounded by while in Thailand. One of Noah's favorite past times is to have someone hold him to look out the large windows in our apartment and look down (we're on the 10th and 11th floors of our building) on the world below to see what is going on. Being such an industrial city, Tianjin is spotted with tall smoke towers from the factories, that billow smoke out most of the time the factories are up and running, adding to the lovely pollution problem that stains the image of China (and our lungs!). Whenever Noah spies one of these towers, he frantically points with his hand and starts puffing air out of his mouth in quick spurts until you, too, acknowledge that you are aware of the smoke stack. So the first day we were in Thailand (and throughout our time there), Noah looked up into the sky, spied a fluffy white cloud in the clear blue sky, and started huffing and puffing away! It didn't take us any time to realize what he was thinking--that this cloud was another smoke stack--and we realized that he not only can't see the sun easily, but also how rarely he sees clouds due to the haze that covers the sky from the pollution! We tried to teach him the difference between the cloud and smoke, but not quite sure his little 20-month old mind is catching on yet!

So now we are back in China. The cultural adjustment has been harder than we expected. Man, what I wouldn't give for a backyard or a place for my kids to run out and expend some energy in for a few minutes while I finish getting dinner on the table! When we returned from the States, I think we had prepared ourselves mentally and emotionally for the adjustments back into a foreign country, but for some reason they seem to be felt more a month and a half later as we return from a more brief trip internationally. I'm off to help get the boys down for naps, but hope to return to the keyboard later this week with more tantalizing tidbits about our cultural realizations and how they continue to grow...

"...forget not all his benefits."

2011-01-18T04:09:00.000-08:00

I had another western friend share something with me this week that has really gotten me to reflect on some of His many benefits (as Ps. 103 points out). My friend told me about someone from the States coming to visit them. After living with them for a week and walking a few miles in their shoes, the gentleman shared with them some notes he had taken during his visit--notes compiled of things he noticed that our friends had given up as sacrifices in order to live in China. The second list he had was of the blessings and benefits that they had from doing so--and believe it or not, this list was much longer than the first! As my friend told me of this experience, I reflected on how true that is for our family as well. Having just come back from the States, we still have the taste of things we miss on the tips of our tongues. The ease of transportation, the joy of spending hours with friends and family we deeply miss, chips and salsa.... And yet the benefits are literally innumerable!

One of the biggest is the time we have together as a family. While most wives in our age and stage of life are doing well to have their husbands get home from work before they put the kids to bed, at least for now, Kevin is an incredibly active participant in our whole family's daily routine--even watching the kids regularly (three times a week) while I am in class. While this was an enormous challenge for him in the beginning, we laugh at how his "tolerance" for chaos has increased, so that he can now handle all 4 of our rambunctious little ones with a grace that leaves everyone around us in awe!

The photo is of their latest adventure. Kevin is taking the kids through a series he's putting together from Proverbs, complete with rescue stories and the super hero costumes that are some of their favorite Christmas presents. With three boys in the house, you can count on swords, shields, and other weapons being interwoven throughout their adventure that moves them around our apartment. It is such a joy to see them learning--and loving doing so!

Our week has been one of getting back into the routine again--at least for a few short weeks before the huge Chinese New Year celebration begins. The beginning of February marks the start of the Chinese New Year (according to the lunar calendar)--and the partying is unlike anything you've ever seen! The closest comparison is Christmas in the US--but I'm not sure that that is even on the same scale. Already the lines in the supermarkets are UNBELIEVABLY long (I waited for over half an hour today) and the gift and specialty items they sell this time of year are all over the place. I've started stocking our freezer already, as I discovered last year that pretty much everything shuts down for a few weeks around the New Year, making it impossible to find some of your basic cooking supplies (like chicken, believe it or not!). Being the veteran ex-pat that I now am (ha! ha!), I'm learning from our bare kitchen shelves and fridge last year and trying to plan ahead as much as I can so we'll be ready as much as possible!

One of the most challenging things for us here in China is how rapidly things change. I would not call myself a particularly adaptable person, but was definitely well-prepared during a lot of our training for cross-cultural living that our typical Western long-term planning just doesn't work when living in another country. I'm amazed at how true this is! We've been here a year and a half, and already our language school, the Tianjin baseball team, our church, and possibly the kids' international school are all changing locations--as of this fall! Oh, and our lease is up this summer and our landlord is wanting to sell the apartment, so there's a good chance we'll be moving as well! In Dallas, this would be an inconvenience. In China--this means a HUGE life change! Because of the monumental challenge of transportation, where you live and the places you have to go to regularly truly define how you spend your time, who you spend time with, and how much you can do in a day. I must admit, while I feel like I'm learning to depend on Him more and more each day, the thought of such dramatic change can kind of make my stomach hurt if I dwell on it too much.... Back to Ps.. 103 and forgetting not all his benefits... and super thankful that we have One who is unchanging on whom we can depend!

This week has been largely uneventful. Karis had a blast this weekend getting to Skype with her dear friend Adah in Houston, even playing games like Hang Man and TicTacToe for over an hour. We are so thankful for the technological advances that allow us to stay so closely to loved ones so far away! Hudson went on a lunch date today with Kevin and me to Subway restaurant and was just happy as a clam getting to have a double chocolate chip cookie for dessert! It's amazing how little things can delight a child's heart! Eli got to ride the bullet train with his kindergarten class into Beijing and then eat at McDonald's--a highlight of his week for sure! Oh, and the tooth fairy visited Karis again, as she lost her third tooth. Noah is still being Noah, with his newest word being an English one--"shoot"! (He loves to use the Nerf guns with his brothers to play good guy rescue games.)

Kevin is going out of town for the weekend to the place that is farthest on the globe from any body of water! He has gone out to this city in western China once before to bring baseball equipment to a young man who has organized a youth league that focuses on a minority people group and allowing them the privilege of learning the game. This same guy has asked Kevin to go again and help train him in how to coach some of his teams and some of the other coaches. Kevin has agreed to go, in spite of the fact that we learned that the temp is supposedly a high of 32 degrees BELOW zero! Thinking Kevin's long underwear might not be quite thick enough....

After a conversation or two with this guy, Kevin felt a pressing desire to go and try to help out. Would you believe that because of the cold, the teams are practicing indoors in a facility that this guy has secured, but they are unable to use regular baseball equipment (not sure if it would hurt the facility or the little equipment they have?). So this guy and the other baseball players have been making PAPER BASEBALLS for them to use during their practice! Can you even imagine?! Great reminder of all that we have and are accustomed to getting in the way of material things... And Kevin is really glad that we happen to have whiffle balls and a few other pieces of equipment that will hopefully aid in them being able to play some "real" baseball while he is there. I'm sure I will have some stories to tell after his return (both from his trip and the adventure of me and the kids surviving the weekend without him!)

Phenomenal Pep Rally

2011-01-10T03:23:00.000-08:00

We've made it back across the ocean, and even with the jet lag and being exhausted from the travel, I can still honestly say that our time in the States was great. As Kevin and I have reflected at night before our heads hit the pillow around 8pm, we've decided that our time with friends and family was an incredible blessing, and felt much like what I would describe as a pep rally. It was a time where we were able to share what we've seen happen over the last year and a half of being here in China, and we felt tremendously encouraged by everyone to continue running the race. Kind of a slap you on the rear and "go get after 'em" again sort of feel to it!

So here we are, once again far from the ones we dearly love, and yet totally at peace and re-energized in spite of the fatigue that comes from jet lag and trying to see too many precious people in too short a period of time. As I sat on the bus on my way to class today (as the high today was right at 30 and Kevin strongly advised I NOT ride my bike in the cold!), I reflected on how incredibly blessed I feel to have the peace that I do right now. I've thought for some time that I had to cut so many ties with who I used to be back in my "Dallas" life if I truly wanted to plant my heart and my family here in China. But I'm thinking maybe that's not the case now. And not that my previous thinking really had that much you could externally observe as far as my actions were concerned, but it was more of an internal battle; a heart struggle to identify my "new identity" as Ailian (that's my Chinese name!). So while the tension does still exist somewhat, and no doubt will as long as I live in another culture besides my native one, I'm optimistic that rather than having to die to who I was and develop a whole new me, I can actually have two cultures in which I exist, and even thrive, different as they may be. As I rode the bus and watched the interactions of those around me, I was struck again by the incredible darkness around me; the dire need for hope of so many in this huge city (and country). What a blessing I have been given in this invitation to come and live abroad, in spite of the sacrifices that some days feel like they are really heavy to bear!

Now if you talked with me on Saturday, our day of travel from Dallas to Beijing, I might have been singing a different tune. After only an hour of sleep during our 24 hours of travel, I was definitely hitting my physical and emotional limits. At the airport in Seattle (our stop over city on the way to Beijing), I thought about pulling my hair out at the gate clerk's response to our request for an extra seat in which to put Noah's car seat (we hadn't purchased a ticket, but hoped that there would be an open seat available on the plane for us to claim). In spite of the fact that there were plenty of empty seats in our uncrowded flight, the attendant insisted that when she flew with her child she never used a car seat, and therefore we should not use one, which meant that we did not need an extra seat (so we would only have 5 seats for our family of 6). Kevin FINALLY convinced her that we did not need to wait for her supervisor to come and make the decision, and was able to sweet talk her into not only ONE extra seat for Noah, but also an extra seat near us, so we had a total of 8 seats for the 6 of us! PTL! But I must say, I certainly looked at Kevin a time or two in the process and told him I wasn't sure I was ready to return to the cultural differences of China and the "cookie cutter" thinking that is the norm.

On a lighter note, here are some of our highlights from our trip to the States that showed us how long we've been gone:

the kids couldn't figure out how to use a paper towel dispenser with a pump in a public restroom, as you don't find paper towels (in public) of any sort in China
the kids see any sort of green growing stuff as something they can trample through--even if that means our friends' bushes! (here they so rarely see green, that when we do, we usually try to play in it some before we're told by someone not to do so!)
Hudson couldn't figure out a drive through when we went to Sonic to get a corny dog
Karis had forgotten what a corny dog was!
NO personal space rules that our kids knew to follow
whenever we entered a house, the kids immediately looked for where to take off their shoes
we all had more stomach issues adjusting back to the rich US cuisine than we've ever had while here in China eating typical Chinese food!

The photos I've included are of Eli and Hud with their buddy Will at the playground, Karis in Houston with Kevin in me with a group of our friend's kids there at dinner one night (where it was warm enough to eat dinner outside--amazing!), Karis with her friend Adah who is battling leukemia when we went to feed the ducks, Noah listening to my iPod on the flight back to China, and Karis in the Seattle area play area (which was surprisingly great for the kids!).

Our time back to Texas could not have been better, and expectations couldn't have been more surpassed. We're only excited now to see what this summer will hold for our second return trip to the States!!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T05:18:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas morning here in Dallas, bright and early as the effects of jet lag have obviously not completely worn off of this traveler as of yet! The Joseph family has been in the States for almost a week now, and we are LOVING it! The flight over was as good as could be expected. Friends keep asking, "So what do you do on the plane for that amount of time (11 1/2 hours from Beijing to Seattle, then another 4 from Seattle to Dallas, totaling about 24 hours in travel from the time we leave our apartment in Tianjin and arrive back at my parent's house in Big D)". My answer--"I'm not really sure!" But somehow we all make it in one piece, with sanity mostly intact, and the kids even all managed to sleep at least a little. We were very thankful for an airplane that had individual screens at each seat to pick your movie or music. Kevin and I did decide that maybe we've been in China a little too long after Karis and Eli both first picked to watch Xi Yang Yang (a Chinese cartoon, in Mandarin, of course!) rather than any of the other English movies or short-programs!!

After a long night's sleep at my parent's house (and having to awaken several of the kids at 11am!), we met with my two oldest friends and their families (the Bakers and the Campbells) for brunch and play time. Noah awakened at my parent's house to look out the window and utter a huge "Whoa!" when he saw the grass, the blue sky, and the yard to play in only separated by the window pane in front of him. And then he met their chocolate lab, Josie, and the state of ecstasy was complete! We practically had to tear him away to get him to our friend's house--where again, he resumed his state of ecstasy! The kids can't get enough of being around their favorite friends and family members, of being able to run inside and outside to play (without having to bundle up or go down the elevator to get there) without even needing adult supervision, of riding around in the mini-van and car seats (which, surprisingly, all of them are LOVING!). Their questions and comments keep us in stitches. Hud's most frequently asked questions are, "Mom, where are we now?" and then secondly, "Where are we goin' next?" It's so cute to see his three-year old mind trying to wrap around what all is happening around him. But I am so thankful that as much as he seems slightly confused, he isn't bothered by the constant change a bit, but seems to enjoy every "new" experience that he is having. He has also asked a few times why Mr. Du isn't driving us around in his van (our Chinese friend who we hire when the whole family needs to go into Beijing for an airport run or doctor's visit)!

Our time with friends and family has been so sweet. We were sooooooo encouraged by our friends from our home church when we were there on Sunday. They had us share a little bit about our past year and a half in China, and we were so humbled and blessed by their genuine concern for us and our family, for wanting to hear the details of our "new normal", by the hugs that we received, and by their desire to help us as we "stock up" on some basics before we return to China in two weeks (like socks and underwear that don't have too many holes in them!!) We then spent almost three days at my relative's ranch out in the country of central Texas, where we got to ride four-wheelers (that we keep calling three-wheelers, since that is our main form of transportation in TJ!), feed a camel, throw rocks in the creek, roast s'mores, find and collect all kinds of treasures (including some fossils), go coyote hunting, and even shoot their first guns (my dad helped Eli and Hud shoot a .22). They had a ball, and it was so refreshing to enjoy the clean air, the warmer weather, and the sweet time of fellowship as a family.

We had one day upon our return from the ranch before Kevin's family came in town from both coasts, and the thing that Kevin and I keep commenting on is how much we can get done here in just 1 day! We were both able to run a bunch of errands AND spend time with friends we dearly love. My parents were gracious enough to watch all 6 of their grandkids (ages 6 down to 9 months) for us to go out to dinner with my brother and sister and their spouses. We had a much-anticipated meal at Chuy's, my favorite Mexican food restaurant in town, and then coffee at my sister's coffee shop. The cousins all had a blast playing together--we're amazed at how quickly they have become good buddies already!--and the 6 of us grown-ups had a great time visiting over chips and queso...And I'm hoping it won't be my last bit of TexMex before heading back East!

I'd better run to fit the last few things in the stockings before kiddos are up and at 'em, but will sign back in later with more reports from the "West"! Love to all of our dear friends back in TJ, and hope that we can bring some of the Texas warmth back with us in a few short weeks...

4 Days Away!

2010-12-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

How do you know when you've been in China for a while?

you find your 6 year old designing "passports" rather than normal artwork with her friends who are over
you find yourself asking more frequently where someone found their Christmas wrapping materials than where they bought the actual gift from
your idea of what is in style is based on what doesn't have holes in it and what is clean (and dry!)
you have a large display of very-fake looking flowers displayed in your living room, courtesy of a national friend convinced that the purple and yellow matched perfectly with your existing colors (none of which are close to purple or yellow!)

So this sums up our past week! We have been busy packing and preparing for Dallas, talking about what things we remember and trying to get them all straight in the mind of a three-year old! A challenge, indeed!

On Wednesday evening we all went to the international school to watch Eli's class perform. They had put together a little scene of Bethlehem, complete with his class playing a real Israelite kids' game (as seen in the picture) and singing.

Saturday morning I came in from washing dishes to find Karis seated on the couch with all her brothers around her, reading them library books she had just gotten! It was a sweet moment, but also made me realize how much she (and all the kids) are growing up!! On Saturday at lunch time, I went to join a group of western ladies that I meet with every other week for a time of study and encouragement. We had a great time doing a cookie and soup exchange (including recipes), and then swapped gifts. It was fun and refreshing to celebrate with such dear friends! Saturday afternoon I spent preparing fruit, tea, appetizers, salad, apple cider, and dessert platters filled with cookies that I'd been baking all week. We had about 12 Chinese friends come over for a Christmas party, complete with Christmas pictionary, a movie and discussion time, pizza for dinner, and a candle light service. It was quite possibly our most fun monthly gathering we've had yet--and everyone seemed to have a great time! Karis even added a special moment by reading a passage from Isaiah and singing a song she learned at school that corresponds to the verses.

On Sunday, we rested! At our international fellowship, Karis performed with her class, leading the congregation in some Christmas carols. While the younger kids took naps, I got our suitcases packed. Believe it or not, I have all of our stuff in 4 bags--and only two of them have clothes for us (one is full of gifts and things we're bringing back and the other is stuffed with duffle bags that will no doubt be filled upon our return to China, as my list is SUPER long of stuff to buy while in the States!). So if you happen to see us more than once while we're in Dallas, you can count on us being in the same clothes... So while we're packed relatively lightly, we are bringing back a bunch of luggage for our friends who are in Houston while their daughter undergoes Leukemia treatment. So the mystery of the week is how we are going to fit 11 full-size suitcases and 7 people (6 Josephs and one driver) into a 7-passenger van! I think we're going to have to get creative... and definitely have the kids and us piled a few people high in each seat!!

So I'm signing off for now. If I don't make it back on to update this week, then the next post will be from Stateside (only 4 days and counting....)!!!!

Cold Tianjin!

2010-12-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Only 11 more days and we'll be boarding the plane for our first trip back to the States! Wow! It's truly amazing how time is flying by... and I'm sure the busyness of the holiday season is adding to how quickly the time is passing. Not busy like Stateside-busy, but busy trying to see friends and do some holiday celebrating with those that feel Christmas is an extra-meaningful time. That being said, it's gotten really cold here! We had another cold front blow in last night, so our high today is in the mid-30's and the wind makes it feel much colder. Kevin took off on his bike to class this morning, but after walking the kids the 1/2 mile to the school bus and passing the frozen water on the way, I'm thinking taking a taxi sounds more enjoyable...

Thursday evening was one of our two "China adventures" for the week. After teaching the older two kids kickball during their after-school sports time, Kevin took Karis and Eli with him to one of the baseball player's homes for dinner. The player's dad teaches English, and it ended up being somewhat of a recruiting dinner for Kevin! Seems as if his dad would like Kevin to come teach English also to the kids at the company he runs, so he lavished our kids with gifts (mainly junk food snacks), a full meal for dinner, and even stuff to take home (like a coffee or tea french press, fruit, etc.). Kevin and the kids had a good time, but was unfortunately a later evening than I'd hoped (they didn't get home until 8:30, which is about an hour and a half past their normal week night bed time!). Made the weekend start off a little behind on sleep patterns, but was a good time for Kevin to show love to his young baseball friend!

Friday night Karis had her elementary school's musical performance. It was precious, and she had a blast. Two of our good Chinese friends and a two of our western friends came to cheer her on, so she felt like a star! We made it through the whole hour-long show, only having to leave with Noah once to go run around outside in the foyer, thanks to the fun upbeat music that Karis' younger brothers had fun clapping along with (oh, and a small bag of M&Ms that I packed in the diaper bag!).

On Saturday we went to the international school's annual Christmas bazaar. We had a great time shopping for some fun Christmas things that are hard to find elsewhere (like small Christmas gift tags, poinsettias, even good-quality kids' toys for cheaper than normal import prices). The highlight for the kids was them each getting to pick out a toy--Barbie doll for Karis, hot wheels for the boys, and Fisher Price phone for Noah. None of them cost over 30 kuai (the equivalent of about $4-$5. Believe it or not, this is incredibly rare for us to find such deals! Most people assume that since we live in China, and this is where everything is made, you can find toys for REALLY cheap. Not so!!! We can find really cheap stuff at local toy stores, but it literally lasts for at max a day or two before a crucial part breaks off and it all ends up in the trash. Pretty frustrating! And the one down side to the toys we did bring home was the amount of dirt on them! They were brand new, but I still had to thoroughly clean most of them (that were not fully covered in plastic) to get off all of the dirt and grime. Needless to say, we are looking forward to Target and ToysRUs and doing a little stocking up for this next years' birthdays when we are back in Dallas this month...

Saturday afternoon we had another "China adventure"! My precious friend Shan Shan invited us to come to her family's home for dinner over a month ago. Her mom is significantly older, and her father passed away early this fall. So Shan Shan and her mom have been preparing for our family coming over for over a month, practicing piano and singing duets, finding out kids' menu preferences, etc. We arrived at 4:45 pm on Saturday afternoon to find snacks out and waiting--all just at the right height for Noah to grab easily--including 3 kinds of cookies (one a seaweed variety--yum!) and a plate full of small chocolates. After Kevin and I attempted to keep him away from the chocolates until after dinner, we eventually gave up, realizing that there was no way we could do so without both offending our host and causing a total scene with our incredibly strong-willed 1 1/2 year old. So Noah had a total blast. He emptied the first plate of cookies, much to my relief (thinking, "oh good, they're gone so now he won't eat any more!") But our hostesses were too on the ball, so the supply of chocolates was quickly replenished. Long story short, Noah's dinner on Saturday night was chocolate. Literally. He ate at least two plate-fulls, (maybe 3?), and had a few cookies for dessert. But when it came time for the meal at 5:45, for some reason he just wasn't interested in green beans! Our hostesses were slightly surprised, so Kevin and I just laughed it off. We're still trying to figure out if Chinese families do this with their own kids (the whole, feed them snacks and sweet stuff just to keep them happy even if it's right before meal time), or if this is just something that happens when guests are over. Have yet to determine the cultural norm....

The dinner was a feast. Shan Shan and her mom had fixed 16 dishes--that's right, 16 different dishes--for us to eat. And there were only 6 adults (my friend Ying Ying and her boyfriend also came). We ate more than we had room for and then they sent us home with a fridge-full of left overs. I'm attaching a photo of the mini-concert that we got from ShanShan (on the piano) and her mom (singing). It was a sweet time of fellowship and deepening relationship with a dear friend, in a culture in which spending time with someone's family is one of the most significant things you can do to show you care for them.

Sunday after fellowship we hurried home to have one of our favorite western families (the Thorpes, also with 4 kids, ages 11-16) over for lunch. The Thorpe kids have kind of adopted ours as younger siblings (which thrills my kids to no end!), and they had gotten some gifts for our kids for Christmas. So we had a meal together and small gift-opening time. After a quick afternoon rest time, Karis' school teacher came over to babysit the kids for Kevin and I to go out on a triple date. We went to a famous hot pot restaurant with our friends from Dallas (Sam and Charis) and one of Kevin's former teachers and her fiance. We had a wonderful meal (at the price of about $7 per person!) and a great time talking over dinner. We are soooooo thankful for the sweet friendships we've been blessed with, both foreigners and nationals, that we have to celebrate with already this year!!

Christmas Preparation

2010-11-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

We can't believe that Thanksgiving has already come and gone! The older two kids only had a half-day of school on Thursday, so once they arrived home at noon (after I'd spent the morning baking in the kitchen with the younger two boys "baking" playdough along with me at the kitchen table), we rested for a short while then headed off to our friends' house to celebrate with a group of our western friends (there were about 24 of us in all). The very Thanksgiving-ish photo is of Hudson wearing a mask that was shared with him by his friend Andrew, one of the boys' favorite people here in Tianjin! We ate all the Thanksgiving regulars--even enjoying turkey that someone had found in Beijing.

On Friday we made a trek into Beijing to go to the international hospital. The plan was for Noah to get his 18 month old check up and shots, for the older three kids to get dental exams, and for all of us to get flu shots. The trip was a success, except for having to wait on the flu shots for the kids. They were required to return in exactly one month to get a second shot, and since we will be in the States then (woo hoo!), we had to put that one off. The photos are of the kids playing with some of the toys in the kids' waiting area (where I found, ironically, a sign stating "A quiet hospital helps speed recovery." Quiet! Not likely, at least not with my crew present!!) Kevin and I also loved having a Starbucks treat--even with holiday flavors (no peppermint here, but they do have a Dark Cherry Mocha and a Toffee Nut Latte that are both fantastic!). Oh, and Noah was so tired after the morning of travel and lunch before our dr appointments, that he ended up sleeping through half of his exam (not the immunization part, of course). It was the calmest dr. visit we've had yet!

On Saturday, we decided to stay indoors, keep on our pj's, drink hot chocolate, and put up Christmas decorations while listening to our favorite Christmas music. (What else should you do when it's 39 degrees outside and the wind is blowing the trees sideways?!!) We did get to enjoy Kevin braving the cold to venture out to the post office to pick up a much-anticipated package (thank you Rebers!) with fun baking goodies and toys for the kids.

I got to witness one of my favorite all-time interactions between the kids while decorating. Hudson came over to Karis and put her in a spontaneous bear hug with his arms around her waist. After first determining that he wasn't just trying to wrestle, Karis returned his embrace with her arms around his shoulders. The two of them just stood there for a moment looking up at the tree, as I was just finishing putting the lights on it. Karis let out a sigh, and said, "Hud, isn't the tree just beautiful?" in a wishful sounding voice.
Hudson responded with, "Yeah. I love you Karis. I'm gonna marry you."
Karis said, "Hu-ud, you CAN'T marry me. I'm not really sure why, but God says you can't marry someone who is in your family."
Hudson responded, "But dad and mom are married and THEY are in the same family!"

(Karis concluded the family by explaining that we weren't at first in the same family, and that is why they have both a G-Ma and G-Pa and a Nana and Papa.) It was priceless. What I wouldn't have given to have my video camera running!

We had a Chinese friend come by in the afternoon, and had the privilege of getting to talk about some of the deeper things of life as she struggles through some serious marriage and work problems. It's amazing how many opportunities there are here to be able to love people who are just looking for an ear and some sound counsel! Kevin and I were both blessed by our time, but also worn out, as our conversation was a good 2 1/2 hours long (luckily during the boys' naptime, or else it CERTAINLY would have been much shorter!)--and was all done in Chinese! (No, i didn't understand it all, but had Kevin there to fill in the gaps for me!)

On Sunday morning, Kevin taught at our fellowship, and I must say, did an incredible job. His message was the beginning of the Christmas series, so he got to talk about the passage in Luke 1 where Mary finds out that she is to be the mother of Jesus. His message was super clear, insightful, and challenging. It was his first time to do a full-length message at the fellowship, and I think the response was overwhelmingly positive. I even had one lady call me on my cell that afternoon to tell me how much it had impacted her! So the Rev Kev continues on.... :)

Birthday Party--kind of!

2010-11-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

We tried to throw a little birthday party on Friday night for one of our good friends here, Jennifer, who is a teacher at the international school. The only problem was, we didn't have all the information we needed to be exactly accurate on the timing! She had told us her birthday last year was on Nov. 20, but that was actually based on the lunar calendar rather than our normal solar calendar. So we had a surprise set-up for her, with signs, balloons, cupcakes, a gift, etc., only to find out we are a little bit early this year! She's not even exactly sure when her calendar year birthday is this year! Isn't that crazy?! We all decided that you don't really need to have a good reason to have a party anyway, so everyone had a great time celebrating and eating strawberry cupcakes, but we did have a good laugh about the timing of birthdays here in China and how confusing it is to so many people because of using two different calendars (not to mention how many people I've met who have had mistakes made when they are renewing different id cards; leaving them with multiple birth dates on official documents. I have one teacher who has no idea when her actual birthday is, as she has three different records of it and her mom's memory is based on the lunar calendar and is not totally accurate!).

On Saturday night we had our last night with Kevin's dear friend, Lief for a while. He is headed out of town to do training with a new job he's just gotten--teaching English to kids! He will no longer be a professional baseball player, and is really excited about this opportunity to help open up his future. He's been looking and hoping for something else to do (besides just playing baseball), and feels like this is His provision for him. On Monday night he came over and the kids and Kevin and I taught him three kids songs in English (Wheels on the Bus, Hokey Pokey, and one other I'm blanking on now) along with the hand motions to go with them. We practiced for hours! Kevin and I laughed after he left that the best thing we could be doing at that time to serve him was to sing kids songs with him for hours on end! Hey, you never know... But his interview was on Tuesday and they loved him, so by Wednesday he had accepted the offer and is now beginning a month-long out of town training process. We're sad that we won't see him for quite some time, as he returns right before Christmas when we will already be back in the States. We're also wondering how this will affect the easy access Kevin has had with the baseball team, now that one of the players has left the team to go teach English (presumably due to Kevin's influence). There's a good chance that the coaches will put an end to Kevin's weekly English lessons there at the field, but we're sure hoping that it won't!

One of my best friend's husbands wrote a book (Donovan Campbell, Joker One) that Kevin and I have claimed a line from. He writes, "It was a solid plan, and it worked for about twenty meters." We like to think that we have a solid plan going here, but also realize that in reality, it may very well be more of a 20 meter plan than a well-working, long-term one! We're doing all that we can and lifting it up each step of the way; the rest is just not up to us!!

So two things happened this week that totally threw me for a loop that NEVER would do so in the States. One was a note home from Karis' school, giving instructions about clothes she has to wear for her Christmas school performance in two weeks. She is supposed to wear jeans (not a problem, thanks to G Ma and G Pa sending a pair this spring that fit!), and a dark, solid-colored shirt (with nothing on it). Sounds totally simple and easy, right?! Not so! In China, finding something without "bling" is truly next to impossible! There just is not Gap style clothing (meaning more basic) and certainly no Target or Wal Mart anywhere close by! I went to a local Chinese market that I've been hearing about having great factory-reject stuff that should be exported to the US, but came up totally blank. So Karis and I took off across town on Saturday afternoon while the boys were having rest time to our one hope--the H&M store that has recently opened this fall. We returned 4 1/2 hours later successfully, after having gone only to Starbucks, H&M, and a restaurant where I had ordered food in advance for us to pick up. And the duration of the trip was NOT due to our extended shopping time, it's just amazing how everything here takes so long! The lines for the fitting rooms, the lines for the check out, trying to catch a taxi, fighting traffic. I tell you what, living in a city of 11 million people is enough to make me long for the wide open spaces of my family's property in east Texas--and my own mini-van to get there in!!

And the other photos (besides the first two of Jennifer's bday celebration) are of Hudson with his pre-school teacher and my friend Natalie (and her daughter Jenda) who host the group of kids each day. The pic of Noah is him with Blaise, Natalie's little boy who is a month older than Noah and his good buddy at Sunday school!

On a humorous note, I had a totally awkward question asked of me this week--and it wasn't the first time to get it. While talking with a group of Chinese ladies at a store, they asked me which of my 4 kids was my favorite! I insisted (as best I could with my limited grammatical structure knowledge) that I loved them all equally and did not have a favorite. They informed me that this was just not possible, and insisted that I tell them which one I liked best! It was crazy! And I was so thankful that the kids did not understand enough to know what was going on; but talk about counter-cultural, where in the US we go to SUCH extremes to make sure every kid knows they are loved equally, etc. That just isn't the case here in China! If you are the favorite child (which normally doesn't apply, since the vast majority of young families here can only have one kid), then you know it and that is just the way it is. One cultural difference our family will never adapt to, for sure!

Off to awaken the sleeping dragon (that would be Noah, our child known throughout all of Tianjin for his "large temper and disposition") and go play outside with the boys before heading to class myself. We're so thankful to have warm enough weather still to take advantage of lots of outdoor time! I have no doubt this winter will fly by compared to last year...

Alien Invasion!

2010-11-14T17:35:00.000-08:00

So for those of you who have been anxiously holding your breath. . . here are the results of the baseball quiz from the last post!
1. Rickey Henderson--LF
2. Michael Young (or Schmidt; he like them both!)--3B
3. Joe DiMaggio--CF
4. Chris Carpenter--P
5. Alex Rodriguez--SS

So how'd you do? This past week Kevin and Sam had a few more guys come for the first time, so there are a few more names added to the list. They had another smashing success during the English class, and we've been encouraged by the relationships that seem to be deepening due to the time Kevin has with them on Tuesday afternoons. We're hoping to have some sort of a Christmas party for them in December before we leave town, and are hoping we have a better turn-out than our previous attempt to invite these players into our home! We're still realizing how different this group is in general compared to our teacher friends who we spend most of our free time with. As far as language and culture go, they are definitely what we consider more "hard core" Chinese, making it harder to break into their world and more difficult to communicate with (not proper speech or dialects like we've been studying). Pretty different from our teachers, who are also all Chinese, but have spent a decent amount of time around westerners due to their job of teaching English. So after Kevin and I talked last night, we agreed that the athletes, while more difficult to build relationships with initially, sure seem to be strategic for us in the sense that they really don't have any other outside influence coming in to meet them where they are and encourage them to seek out things of significance. We're so hoping we have the opportunity to be that voice!!

The first two photos are of the team practicing using these sticks that they were having to jump over. Kevin found it amusing!

This weekend was a blast. We went to McDonald's for breakfast on Saturday morning and let the kids have the run of the place for an hour, entertaining the relatively small crowd of Chinese people who were there. It was cold and windy, and our crew is up early, so there weren't nearly as many people there as usual. Normally, we either can't find a seat for all 6 of us together or we have to wait for quite some time until somebody sees me standing there long enough to stop reading or working on whatever they're doing and get up from their table (the concept of fast food in China is quite different--most fast food chains are treated more like Starbucks where people sit and linger over their meals, or don't even order at all but just kind of hang out there!).

Saturday night we had a group of 12 teachers and a few other national friends come over to have a dinner and movie night. The plan was to watch the Mel Gibson movie "Signs", so we decided to do an alien theme. The kids spent the afternoon making decorations (stars and planets to hang out the walls, alien faces to put on the tables). We ordered a bunch of jiao zi from a nearby restaurant and I fixed several vegetable side dishes, as well as cookies and brownies to go with our fruit serving for dessert. Kevin planned out two games for entertainment--the first was a UFO toss (using a frisbee and our basketball hoop) and the second was for our friends to divide up into two teams (boys and girls) and dress up Eli and Hud as aliens. It was hilarious! We had purchased a bunch of random supplies earlier that day at the super market, and we were so impressed with how cute the boys looked when they were finished! The only problem with the evening was that the movie was not a good copy, so we eventually had to take it out and switch for another one. It was a little disappointing, as Kevin and I had spent some time preparing questions and practicing the Chinese vocab to go along with the originally planned movie, so we had to scramble a little bit for the discussion aspect. But we're trusting that in spite of our change in plans, He knew what was going on and was not thrown off by the whole thing like we were! We are certain, at least, that everyone seemed to have fun and get a lot of laughs at our little martians running around the house!

Covering Up for Winter

2010-11-07T00:10:00.000-07:00

I was so sad this week to see the work beginning--men and women in the medians and on the sides of the road in the (small!) grassy areas, working to build wooden frameworks around the limited amount of landscaping that lines the major roads of Tianjin. After building the somewhat rickety wooden frameworks around the bushes and some of the trees, they then cover the greenery with a heavy green plastic, I'm assuming with the goal being to protect the foliage from the cold and the strong winds that Tianjin has during the long winter months. I pulled over on my way biking to class to get a quick shot with my camera, much to the amusement of the men working! But it made me a little sad; any natural green that we still can see is unfortunately on it's way out until the warm weather returns (this year it was in late April). But, I must rejoice with thanksgiving that this year has been SO much warmer than last! Our heater has not turned on yet, but we are only a week (and one day) away, but have yet to feel like we have been really cold while indoors (which is vastly different from last year when we bundled up in our warmest fleece before crawling under the covers at night). So no complaints here, only a lingering sad feeling that the dreariness of winter is just around the corner for a spell...

On that note, one of the things Kevin and I remain intrigued about as far as cultural differences is the hot/cold emphasis in Asia. While walking Hud to his pre-school class this week on Tuesday, I had a woman literally pull a u-turn to run after me, insisting that I make Hudson pull his pant leg down so that the one and a half inches of his leg that was exposed would be covered. After realizing that she was not going to leave me alone until I complied, I did tug his pant leg down so that no skin was showing, laughing with amazement at her fear of the (what I considered) relatively warm weather. Karis caught a fever virus this week, and ended up staying home from school for several days. When our ayi came one morning and I explained that Karis had a little bit of a fever, her immediate two questions were about how she had been dressed while outside and what cold foods she had eaten. One of my teachers this week, who is Chinese but married to an American, asked me about temperature differences in the US and if I was concerned about keeping on air conditioning during the summer months, and if the temperature changes between being indoors and outdoors would be harmful to the kids' health. I explained to her that we just don't think of it as being a big deal; especially compared to how they think of temperature here, where literally the first thought about illness or any health issues is all tied to hot/cold things (temp or food, mainly). My teacher explained to me that she, too, was fussed at by some neighbors this past week because she had socks but not shoes on her 7-month old daughter while she was in the stroller. The concern of the neighbor was apparently that the cold air would hit the child's feet and could that way enter into her body, causing sickness of some sort as her internal balance would be thrown off. After over a year of being here, I'm still amazed at how different the thinking is in so many different ways!

The picture of Karis with the sausage is her working on her Chinese characters with Kevin's help--they were using our breakfast to write "huo" or fire in Chinese HanZi! Thought it was pretty creative...

One other major difference that we continue to seek understanding on is that of how friendships work here. We realize that we have been so blessed by the friendships we've developed over the last year, but we're continually amazed at the warmth of the feedback that we receive from our Chinese friends here--how many of them will refer to us as their "best" friends, or "jia ren" (which is basically, family members). While we feel a closeness to so many of them, too, we feel that we are in a different place, being isolated from family and friends of our own culture, making it seemingly more natural for us to develop these kinds of deeper bonds. But while the relationship emphasis here in China seems to be on very small, intimate circles of friends and family (rather than broader scopes of friends or acquaintances that are more typical of western relationships), as we ask others who have been here longer than we have, it seems that along with these tight relationships comes a sense of duty or obligation that carries a heavy weight with it as well. It seems like this sense of duty and obligation, while allowing for a sense of security, also has some negative aspects to it as well. We had a friend explain to us this weekend that if we are offering friendship, welcoming our Chinese friends into our home (which is a huge expression of being "in" with someone, making it to their inner circle of friends), and yet not having the expectations that typically come with those relationships, they can feel the difference, and the freedom that comes with those friendships. So we're hoping that this is the case--that these friends that we are making and trying to love and serve see us as a "safe" place to come where little is expected or required, and that this is the reason for the warm reception we've been receiving. I'm sure I'll have more thoughts on the matter over time as we try to investigate further and have more time for experience to accumulate...

Kevin had his first English class with a group of baseball players this week--and it was a smashing success! (At least, as far as he could tell, it was!) He had 9 players come (including one coach), and two more who wanted to but were unable, promising to attend this next week instead. They started off with basic information on how to introduce your self. Kevin and our friend Sam (who is joining him as teacher) collaborated to give the players English names, which of course, is as fun as it sounds. I thought their method very creative; they allowed the guys to pick names from a group of famous baseball players who have played in their same positions in the MLB over the last several decades. So for those of you who are baseball fans, here's your pop quiz. I'll give you the first names of the players and their positions and you can see how many you can match up with their MLB counterparts:

Ricky--LF
Michael--3B
Joe--CF
Chris--P
Alex--SS

Stay tuned for the results... :)

Chinese Halloween

2010-10-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

I must say, this year's Halloween was much different than last year's! On Friday night, we met with a group of friends from the international school to divide up into groups and go trick-or-treating. The kids had fun dressing up (although the group was put together at the last-minute, so we didn't have much time to prepare; just went with the easiest costumes that we had available!). So Karis dressed up as Fancy Nancy (from the book series), Eli was a kung fu fighter, and Hud was a baseball player. Noah was either a farmer or a train conductor (he just had on cute stripped over-alls!). The kids had so much fun going from apartment to apartment here in our community to teachers and other international school families who had volunteered, making about 7 or 8 stops in all. It was really neat to be able to celebrate this way here. I struggled with whether or not to "celebrate" Halloween each year in the States, because I felt that the dressing up was so fun for the kids but the holiday itself was definitely not something we wanted to promote in our household. However, here in China, there is absolutely NO frame of reference for Halloween; so it truly is what you make of it! We were able to talk with the kids and explain the difference in this holiday and the others we celebrate (which all focus on our faith in one way or another); but also be able to tell them that we can still have fun and enjoy the aspects that are not so "dark"! I think they got it, but maybe they were just excited to get to dress up and go ask people for candy!!

The difference in this year and last--last year we did have a fall Harvest Party with our homeschool group--which the kids loved! But I also ended the time of celebration by falling down our last two stairs and landing on the hard wood floor to end up with a broken bone in my left hand. So thankful that this aspect of Halloween ended up very different this year!

Hudson's quotable from this week: after watching the movie "Alvin and the Chipmunks" that was passed on to us by some friends, he clarified that the little animals were not squirrels, but rather chipmunks. Then after a moment of deep thought, he asked, "So do all chipmunks like Christmas?" (The main action in the movie centers around Christmastime!) I thought this was pretty cute, and wondered just how small of a separation there is between reality and fantasy in the mind of a three-year old!

Kids Being Cute

2010-10-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

This last week was a fun one for everybody--once we got over the minor stomach bug that circulated throughout at least some of the household! After Kevin and Eli recovered, I had a brief bout with (I'm assuming) the same bug that the boys had, but bounced back after missing only one day of class. We were able to resume normal weekly activities, and everyone even made it to International Day at TIS, where Karis performed with her 1st grade class (they were focusing on South Africa this year). It was so cute to see her dressed as an American (in her jeans and bandanna around her neck) amongst all of her classmates from different countries. The boys also wanted to get into the dressing-up, so we convinced them to wear their baseball uniforms (rather than the Kung Fu outfit Eli really wanted to put on, but was eventually convinced really had very little to do with his own home country's culture!)

The photos are of Karis during the performance and of the three oldest kids with Ms. Barbara (also dressed up for a performance), their surrogate grandmother here in China with G-Ma and Nana so far away.

We went to the park with another family on Saturday and endured several well-meaning Chinese grandmothers and their insistence that the kids were not dressed warmly enough, that their pants were too thin, and that Noah needed to have on some sort of body suit to ensure that his mid-drift did not get cold, thus resulting in a tummy ache for him! (Can't say I handled the badgering with as much grace rolling off of my tongue as I probably should have... Probably good that I'm still pretty limited linguistically as far as what I can say!) We had several Chinese friends over for dinner and a movie on Saturday night, and then taught the kids' SS class again on Sunday and had time to rest and study.

Each of the kids had a cute "something" this week that I thought was worth mentioning (at least for the grandparent's sake, right?!)

Noah--walked across the apartment to come find me in the kitchen (while doing dishes) with Bo (the bunny) suspended in mid-air by Noah's clinched fists holding onto the fur on his back! Noah was excitedly squealing, obviously pleased by the fact that he had managed to open the rabbit cage, remove the small (and frightened!) animal, and make it to my said location. All survived without injury (except for me, who's heart definitely skipped a beat!).
Hudson--discovered the best place to warm his hands during a cold ride while on the back of a bicycle is his mom's bare lower back (under her jacket and shirt)! Mom, however, is not so sure that maybe just wearing gloves isn't a better solution...
Eli--introduced a new term to our family. After hearing me use the word "queasy" while talking to Kevin to describe how I felt on Wednesday when I came down with the before-mentioned bug, he tried to mimic this new addition to his vocabulary, saying, "Mom, I felt squeezy too on Sunday."
Karis--at school, she uses a small piece of lined paper in order to write her spelling test each week. (As you can imagine, in a world where Chinese characters are the main form of written communication, there is not much need for lined paper, making it therefore a little hard to come by. So she's not totally well-practiced in this paper's use, and the pieces of paper themselves are quite small.) Since she is unable to write all 12 words down one side of the paper, the teacher has the class make two columns, with the numbers 1-6 down the right-hand side and 7-12 down the left. Karis has evidently gotten confused about this layout, however, and when she writes the numbers down the right-hand side of the page (rather than down the middle of the page), she ends up writing each of those words backwards. For example, this week's paper looked like this:

ekil 1.
edir 2.
elims 3.

I thought it was so cute and impressive that she could see the words backwards as well as forwards that I considered not correcting her, but decided that not encouraging any dyslexic habits was probably a better long-term decision. We'll see what next week's test holds!

Where Am I?

2010-10-17T06:12:00.000-07:00

I had another one of those, "Where am I?" moments on Friday. I was riding my bike to meet a friend after class when I came upon a sight not totally abnormal here in my "new normal" of China. There was a huge, rough-hewn broken tree branch sticking about 4 feet out of an open man hole--in the middle of the street. Now this was not a small, two-laner, but rather a wide (no lane markings, of course!) road, and right at a spot where another smaller feeder ramp was merging, no less. Let me tell you--this would have won no "safety awareness points" at any place in the US. I passed by this makeshift Road Hazard Sign and had to chuckle at the sight, while at the same time lifting up a quick prayer than none of the thousands of cars that probably whizzed past every day would meet the open man hole with the large stick head-on.

I had a few more minutes left on my bike ride before I arrived at my friend's home (I had planned to help her go shopping in her local market, as she wanted to pick out a sweater for a friend, but wanted another opinion on which one to purchase. Jumping ahead--we ended up finding a neat Liz Claiborne one (one of those samples-that-fell-off-the truck), and I even hit the jackpot myself, buying 4 sweaters for a total of under $25! I may complain about how hard it is to go shopping and buy stuff here in China, but when you find a good deal, you REALLY can find a good deal!) Anyway, I had fun reflecting on life here and how many changes we've seen in our 13 1/2 months. I read a remarkable passage in Hebrews 11 this last week that really challenged me, especially in light of our quickly-approaching trip back to Dallas in December. The specific verses are 13-16. "If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city." (v. 15-16) It has reminded me again of the tension that exists between enjoying where He has put us here on the earth, being okay with having "homesick days" for Dallas, and keeping in mind that no physical location here is truly "home". No matter how much I may miss Cheesecake Factory or Raising Cane's chicken fingers, eating my favorite foods, going to my favorite places, even seeing my favorite people does not make Dallas home! My heart is to be longing for another home, a permanent one, in order for me to live in such a way that others see that hope for what is eternal and can delight in Him along with me! What an awesome calling. And how true it is for each one of us--not just those of us living across the ocean as literal "aliens" in a foreign land, but for those of us still planted in the same town in which we were born and raised. Oh, for His grace that this truth may be a reality in our lives!

So after the shopping trip with my friend, I got to have an even MORE exciting day by having a date night with my hubby! We joined two of our dear friends here, Sam and Charis, who we have been blessed to have in Tianjin now with us for going on two months. We introduced them to one of our favorite restaurants, Thai food, and then walked to a Starbucks at a nearby shopping area.

On Saturday, Kevin and I traded off on having time with the kids, as he had a paper to write and I had a take-home test to (supposedly!) complete. He took the older three kids hiking at Trash Mountain for a few hours while Noah took his morning nap, but unfortunately came home with them feeling puny. By Saturday afternoon, we ended up canceling our Sat and Sun evening plans, as it looked like Kevin was coming down with the full-fledged flu. Luckily, he is perkier already (it is Sunday night), and only Eli has caught the bug. So we're REALLY hoping that it stops there and the rest of us can escape the joy of stomach issues!

The photos are how the kids pass the time when we have more indoor time than normal--Eli doing pilates along with a DVD that we own, and then all 4 of them watching a movie while I fixed breakfast on Sun morning (on the biggest stack of pillows they could manage to make!).

Funny Dream and Unforgettable Weekend on the Wall

2010-10-09T22:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up laughing on Thursday morning, but feeling a little bit tense at the same time. I was remembering the dream that I had just had--one which I found very telling of my emotional/mental state right now. I had a dream that we were with our group of western friends here in Tianjin (the same ones we were planning to go out of town with that morning for a weekend getaway to a nearby village) and were on a boat. One of the women with our group got motion sickness, so the boat driver decided to pull over at dock at a nearby village. We all disembarked and found a HUGE Super Target awaiting us! We had 5 minutes to run through the store and make whatever purchases we deemed most important before the boat departed to continue on our journey. I awakened before hitting the check-out line, but remember passing by the aisles with pet reptiles (frogs in particular; I'm assuming this portion of my dream was linked to the reptile section of the animal selling part of town we had taken my mom to earlier that week here in Tianjin) and decorative vases as I tried to determine what was top priority! I suppose I'm thinking of our return trip to the States in December more than I realize!

We left town (by van, rather than boat) on Thursday morning after breakfast and drove about two and a half hours into the mountains west of Tianjin. We arrived in an 800-person village (called Ji Xian) to our accommodations for the weekend--a bed and breakfast-like place at which our group had reservations, thanks to one of the families having stayed there on a previous trip. We had the entire second level rented out to our group, since there were about 22 of us that had come together (and one dog). Our family had three rooms; one for the kids, one for Kevin and me, and one for my mom. When we first arrived, I immediately thought, "Hey, this place is great. This reminds me a lot of some place we would stay at in Colorado during a family vacation." Once I said these words aloud, however, I realized the humor and irony in what I was saying! Yes, we had three rooms (which is a lot, technically), but the rooms were each barely large enough to have enough floor space to include a bed or two and then a small walking path between them. Yes, we had three bathrooms, but none of them included a toilet (only squatty potties) or a "real" shower or bath (only a shower head right next to the squatty potty). Yes, we had enough beds for everyone, but the mattresses were so hard, that we all ended up piling up anything extra that was soft that we could find to pad under our hip bones (for those of us who are side sleepers). Yes, we had a beautiful view off of our balcony to see the mountains when the haze wasn't too thick, but the gap between the bars was large enough for a 16-month old to easily slip through and plummet to the ground two floors below. And yes, there was bedding for the beds, but there were no towels or even toilet paper provided (luckily, I wondered if this would be the case and therefore brought my own from home!). So our place DID end up being great (and cost the equivalent of about $15 per night per adult, kids free, and cost including 3 meals a day--all Chinese food, meaning mainly stir-fried veggies and rice!), but my initial assessment of being similar to Stateside accommodations was probably a bit premature!!

In spite of a few "accommodation obstacles", we had an absolute BLAST these last three days, and decided we would return to the same spot (and same bed and breakfast!) again in a heartbeat. We hiked the Great Wall for several hours on Thursday, with only one minor tumble by Eli that was remedied by a band-aid and some Neosporin (the Wall is a LOT steeper than I had ever imagined, having really steep inclines and declines that have stairs at some points and not at others; also, the Wall is a little bit on the old side, so it is quite uneven footing! These elements make for more treacherous climbing than you would envision when thinking of a hike through mountain paths.) Kevin had Hudson on his back and I had Noah on mine, so we both got an extra quad work-out in for the afternoon! We crashed early that evening after our kids and their friends (another family with us who are dear friends also have four kids, ages 15 down to 10, who our kids LOVE and even babysit for us some times to have a date night) did a lip sync performance to different music (Veggie Tales, "Where is My Hairbrush?" by the Joseph clan)--complete with sock puppets that the other kids had helped ours design and color. On Friday we went to a site that was about a 10-minute walk away that the Tianjin International School owns, and at which we had gotten permission to hang out. They have built a huge ropes course there, and the site has a large area of grass (with no police present to tell you to get off of!) as well as other team-building activity dynamics (like a really large see-saw that multiple people can get on at once, a cowboy golf course, a rock-climbing wall, and lots of rocks just the right size for my boys to collect and throw)! We spent the morning there playing with our friends and then went horseback riding and picking apples at a nearby orchard in the afternoon. The kids had a movie night that evening before bedtime while the group of adults had some meaningful fellowship time together. Talk about sweet friendships and fun memories being made! And to have my mom with us for it all was even more significant, as she has really gotten to know some of our dear friends here and built friendships with them on her own. We were so thankful to have such a refreshing weekend out of the city, playing in the "clean" dirt of the village, speaking lots of English with our friends and watching our kids have the time of their lives playing with their friends in such a beautiful spot in nature. Oh, but we must admit that we did all enjoy the hot showers, sit-down toilets, and soft beds we returned home to last night!

I unfortunately had to escort my mom to the Beijing airport this morning for her to catch a noon flight back to Dallas. The tears flowed, but not nearly as much as usual with our upcoming Christmas reunion just around the corner! And after a WONDERFUL 10 days of having her here, I am feeling refreshed and encouraged, ready to tackle my Chinese studies (that have been slightly put on hold during our week-long holiday!) and get back in the swing of things in our new normal. Oh, and I did have a funny realization this weekend. I have been gearing up for the cold weather to set in, but was thinking we only had another week before our heat was turned on. Not so! I was off by a whole month! The heat comes on NOVEMBER 15 rather that October 15--so bring it on! I'm thinking I really do need to pull out the long undies and fleece pj's!!

Greatest Friday Ever!

2010-10-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

This past week was an emotional one for me. For whatever reason, I just kind of hit a wall and felt really lonely and isolated! I was so excited that we had a whole week of "vacation" to look forward to, as it is a national holiday here in China that ends up giving us a weeks' break from school for us and the kids, and really wanted to plan some fun activities for us to do during the hiatus from our normal routine. I kept trying to have these talks with Kevin to coordinate schedules and see how much I could get him to agree to as far as hosting other families--mainly western ones that we just rarely spend much time with. [We try to spend as much time with our national Chinese friends as we can; since we only have so many free hours in a week, that means we just don't get a ton of social time in with our western friends here a lot of the time. But something has got to give, right?] So what I've realized is this: while I have been sooooooo blessed to develop several really meaningful relationships with Chinese friends here, I still really depend on the time with my western girl friends in order to re-charge and get refreshed. Most of my time with my Chinese friends ends up as a "pouring out" time; which I absolutely LOVE, but also end up feeling really drained as a result of (not to mention the time element--which here in China, means spending 3 or more hours together at any given "hang out" time as the norm.)

So try as I might, I could NOT get Kevin to agree to all of my well-laid plans for social time with a few other families. I finally broke down in tears on Wednesday night, and might even be found guilty of saying a few accusatory statements like, "You aren't helping meet my emotional needs!" And, "I'm not the same as you as far as what I need socially in friendships!" Kevin handled the remarks and my tears well and gently, with a few chuckles along the way; but I was remarkably surprised that he did absolutely NOTHING to make any changes! (Normally, if I have an "unmet need" that I express, he is super fast to jump in and come up with a plan to see how he can help correct the situation so that I am happy and therefore the family is firing on all cylinders!) I went to bed feeling down and a little confused at his response.

On Thursday, we revisited the conversation again. This time with me expressing confusion at how I felt he had genuinely heard my woes, and yet had not done a thing to help me out. His response: laughter! He eventually just threw up his hands and said basically, make whatever plans you want and I'll just go along with them! So still confused, I planned. I set up a playdate with another mom and her two kids to come over to our apartment on Friday for lunch (when I knew Kevin would be out of town for a meeting he had in Beijing) and then decided to walk to a park with another mom and her 4 kids Friday evening for a picnic dinner there. The plan was for Kevin to come straight from the train station to the park on Friday night when he got back in town.

After a GREAT playdate with my friend Natalie and her two little ones on Friday morning, Kevin and I kept in touch throughout the afternoon as to his progress on his trip and when he thought he would make it back to Tianjin. Around 7pm he let me know that he was in the taxi and headed our way. He showed up at 7:15 and informed me and the kids that he had gotten balloons for them, but that they got to come pick them out. We walked down the path away from the playground area to discover the balloon vendor heading our way on their bike with about 100 balloons tied on the back--only the balloon vendor was no normal Chinese vendor. It was actually my Mom! She and Kevin had coordinated about 2 months ago for her to come in for a surprise visit and spend the week with our family! The kids and I were absolutely shocked and speechless! (Well, Eli wasn't so speechless. He immediately let Nana know the game he was playing with his friends--trip tag--and the rules so that she could join in the fun.) Hudson wanted to know if Nana rode the bike all the way from Dallas. Noah couldn't take his eyes off of the balloon-covered bicycle, and Karis just kept repeating, "Nana, I just can't believe you're HERE!" It was pretty precious all the way around. And as understanding of my husband's odd response to my emotional needs not being fulfilled dawned on me, I had to laugh at the irony. Here I was, thinking I knew what was best and what I needed, and all along he had a plan in store that was so much better than anything I could have asked for or imagined. What a great picture of a much bigger one...

So our week thus far has been fantastic. We played baseball with some of our Chinese friends on Saturday morning and then ate dinner at TGI Friday's that night. Our adventure on the way home included the battery on my three-wheeler once again almost completely sputtering out on me. Kevin insisted on switching places with me, so that I was riding his bike with Karis on the back (and wearing Noah in the Ergo carrier in front of me--a first for me to bike with two kids in tow!) and he was pedaling the three-wheeler up the incline to get home. After we made it up the hill, Karis and I waited for Kevin to arrive. My mom was slightly ahead of us with Hudson on the back of her bike. Karis started urging me on to hurry so that my mom and Hudson wouldn't "win" the race that we were apparently in. I explained to her that we would win the prize for being the most considerate, since we were waiting for Kevin and Eli to make sure they made it home safely, too. So when we got home, the boys took baths while Karis worked on some artwork. She designed individual "awards" for each of us in the race. For me, she drew a picture of a person with the word "nice" printed on it (because we were considerate and waited). For Nana, she drew a picture and wrote "You win!" on it (because Nana was the first to reach home). And for Kevin, she simply wrote, "You tried!" (because he, naturally, came in last place, but had to put forth great effort to even complete the event)! As we all compared our awards after we'd put the kids in bed, we found her artwork quite clever indeed!

We had a relaxing Sunday of going to church together (where we got to hear Kevin share about a 10 minute testimony during the service), and then going to eat lunch at the just-opened Subway sandwich shop. Talk about exciting! As far as I could tell amidst trying to run down Noah (I'd failed to bring his stroller to strap him in and there were certainly no high chairs to be had at the restaurant) and coerce the other kids to eat a few bites after having lots of snacks during the church service, the sandwich tasted even better than what we have Stateside. It's funny how I used to consider Subway only gas station/fast food type eating, and now consider it fine dining and a special treat! Oh, how much things change in a year... :)

On Monday we braved the throngs of people and went shopping at a really popular part of town. We took the kids to H&M--a total God-send of a clothing store here in China. It is truly the ONLY store I've found in China that is at all similar to anything we're used to in the States. We were able to find clothes for the kids (much needed after growth spurts and a much longer than expected winter last year, both taking their tolls on our kids' winter wardrobes!) and even a sweater for me. My mom then found a few gift items she was looking for to bring back upon her return to the States next week :( We tried to make the shopping experience fun for the kids, eating lunch at Papa John's pizza and getting McDonald's ice cream for dessert. Each of the kids got a cone with swirls of different colors. Our favorite was Hud's green swirl cone--kiwi flavor! Who would have guessed that such a combo exists?

On Tuesday we had fun exploring around our apartment community, showing off how well the kids are riding their bikes and playing tag outside with Nana (after doing lots of craft time in the morning, thanks to the loot that Nana brought with her from the US!). My mom and I took off on a "date" while Kevin watched the kids, and we ate lunch at one of my favorite spots here in town. We came home in time to fix dinner for two of our dear Chinese friends who were coming over to join us that evening for food, fellowship, and a chance to hang out with "LaoLao" (grandmother)!

Today has again been laid-back with lots of good family time. Kevin ran errands, buying a new battery for the three wheeler and making a trek across town to pay our five-months' heating bill so that it can be turned on when the start dates comes around (Oct. 15), while my mom and I played outside again with kids. My mom reconnected with several of our neighbors who remembered her from her previous visits. They were most concerned with who was at home taking care of my dad, and how I was going to take care of the 4 kids when she leaves this weekend to go back to the States. One neighbor was so excited they even ran home to get their badminton set, a game they'd played together during her last spring-time visit here! We are LOVING the beautiful weather that allows us so much time outdoors! Our ayi came over this afternoon with her college-aged daughter and taught my mom and me how to cook several of our favorite Chinese dishes. We had a great time learning and laughing in the kitchen! And I'm hoping that I can pick up a thing or two and be more adept at preparing Chinese dishes for our friends when they come over!

Tomorrow is our big trip. We leave in the morning to join several other families for a trip to the Great Wall, where we will spend two nights in a bed and breakfast-type place. We plan on going on a several hour long hike tomorrow afternoon (with the two youngest guys in backpacks) and maybe getting to pick fruit at an orchard and go horseback riding! The spot we're going to (called Ji Xian) is pretty new to us, as we've been only one time and for a very quick visit. But it's supposed to be a great place to get away and explore outdoors, and the friends we are going with are super-fun to spend time with, so we're expecting it to be a great time for all! (Even in spite of the fact that it was suggested we bring some extra padding for the beds, as the mattresses are more like wooden planks than the beds we're used to!) Sure there will be lots to tell...

Birthday Bash--the long version!

2010-09-27T04:52:00.000-07:00

This Saturday our family had the privilege of being invited to attend Kevin's friend's grandfather's 80th birthday party. Kevin's friend (Lief) is from a suburb of Tianjin, a smaller town that takes about an hour to drive to (assuming you are in a car rather than a bus and there is little to no traffic). We knew VERY little details about the party before we went, which is nothing a-typical here in China (the eastern perspective on time is very much short-term focused rather than our western mindset that is long-term--meaning Americans plan far in advance and Chinese pretty much NEVER do!). Also, information in general in the eastern culture is rarely disseminated very widely. The usual practice is for information to be withheld--kind of like a power play, especially within businesses between superiors and their subordinates. Now, while there was obviously NO intention of a power play on Lief or his family's part, what we've discovered over the last year is that because information is so regularly withheld, it kind of becomes the norm for people here, so that even in situations that more details COULD be given, it is the habit that has been formed that it NOT be given! Make sense? All this to say, we went into Saturday ill prepared, to say the least!

We knew we were to be picked up at the baseball field where Lief lives at 1:30 in the afternoon. Since that is normally when Hud and Noah are going down for their afternoon nap, we adjusted their schedules for the day, and by no small miracle, were able to get both boys to take a short nap starting earlier in the afternoon. Whew! I thought we might have a later evening, but little did I know all that we were really in for! We waited at the baseball field and the kids had a few minutes to climb on the bull statues (seen in the pics) before we were kicked off of them. So a van came and picked up our family and Lief with Lief's dad in the front seat and a hired driver. We were so overwhelmed at the hospitality already of Lief's parents in the efforts just to get our family there! However, my first "oops!" moment was seeing how Lief's dad was dressed. NICE dress shirt and pants--extremely unusual for ANY Chinese even we've been to yet--even the one wedding we've attended! Yikes! We then drove through Tianjin for some time to pick up another one of Lief's father's friends who was to attend the party (again, dressed much more formally than any of the Joseph clan). After a little over an hour in the car, we arrived at Lief's family's home.

As we unloaded from the van, we already had a captive audience. This suburb was even less accustomed to foreigners, especially blonde-haired little ones, and more enthusiastic to hear "our story" and stare in awe. We made it inside without major incident, where Kevin then whispered to me, "Don't freak out, but the party doesn't start until 6pm!" Now, this was at about 2:45pm. I looked around the small apartment we were in, with food and drinks covering the coffee table in anticipation of our arrival, and my heart totally sank as I counted the number of small, breakable objects spread throughout the ENTIRE house that were just begging my somewhat out of control 15-month old to grab them and smash them to pieces! My first thought--how in the world are we going to make it through 3 hours of being in here without totally destroying the place. My second--is there any chance we can make it that late of an evening without TOTAL meltdown from someone (maybe even me?!). Kevin, reading the panic on my face, gave me a quick pep talk, and we were off.

I'll try to paint the picture. Hospitality is HUGE in China. Oh, and when you are offered something to eat or drink, you are supposed to politely decline, to which the host is then supposed to offer once again. This exchange is supposed to go back and forth a few rounds, and then the third time you can actually accept the offer of food or drink. (I know, sounds crazy to our straight-forward American thinking, but keep in mind, we Americans, too have some crazy cultural practices that we don't even realize!) So I've adjusted to this new cultural norm and am generally okay with playing the game, however, if you really don't want to eat or drink or really can't (as in the situation in which your toddler is roaming free to explore every safety hazard within reach), this really can pose somewhat of a problem! After refusing tea 2 times, Lief's mom insisted that I take a cup in my hands. I was holding the teacup for no more than 8 seconds before Noah found trouble--the mostly full teapot sitting on the teapot. Which he, of course, being the curious toddler that he is, poured out all over the coffee table and floor. If this was an isolated incident, maybe I wouldn't still find it so humorous, but the rest of the afternoon ensued in about the same fashion, with Lief's mom insisting my hands be occupied with one thing or another (food, more drinks, photos of Lief as a kid, etc.), making my availability to thwart Noah's destruction virtually impossible. I THINK we walked away from the afternoon with nothing major being broken--again, no small miracle! This is probably partly due to the fact that we were able to "escape" outside for a good portion of our 3-hour wait. Praise God for a beautiful day that allowed us outside play!

At the boys suggestion, we decided to bring a soft baseball that I had packed in my "bag of tricks" for the trip outside to play. We found a courtyard (with the ground covered in brick rather than grass, of course) that we decided was suitable for play. We spent the next hour and a half or two out there with our family and Lief, running around and playing different games, dodging the MANY piles of doggie poo as best we could. At one point, Kevin looked at me and said, "You realize that this is basically the main bathroom spot for all the animals in the apartment complex don't you?" To which I responded, "Yes. And the fact that it doesn't phase me a bit, nor the fact that Noah will probably end up with this very same dirty shoe in his mouth at some point later today (one of his favorite things to keep himself busy while in the stroller), tells you a whole lot about both where I am in "survival mode" right now and how much I have changed over the last year!" So we threw up a prayer for health and for safety as we raced around on hard uneven brick ground littered with broken pieces of debris and poop! And the kids loved every minute. At one point, Kevin noted to me how funny it was that there was nothing unusual about the whole situation to the kids. Their new normal has truly altered, and it's amazing to see just how adaptable they are to so many different situations!

So we finally made it to the part before 6. Keep in mind we had been outside playing for about two hours, and we'd had an hour of travel in the car. So I wasn't exactly feeling "fresh" as far as clothes or make-up were concerned. I immediately noticed a difference in this party to any other we've seen or been to. (Birthday parties in Chinese homes are pretty rare, as a rule. Generally, the parents don't give their children gifts on their birthday [but don't feel too badly, they usually give them a LOT of stuff throughout the year, just not especially on birthdays]. And usually, rather than the friends taking you out to eat or to celebrate, if it is your birthday, then YOU take your friends out to a restaurant and pick up the tab! This is one cultural difference I'm not sure I'll ever get used to!) So I honestly wasn't expecting this party to be a big deal, knowing that it was Lief's parents who were the ones hosting it. Boy, was I wrong! It was the most formal venue we've been to here in China (a large ballroom with ornate, and yes, gaudy, chandeliers that was in a hotel). There were probably about 200 to 300 guests, and the food and alcohol were abundant! As I watched the attendees arrive, I once again felt my stomach drop as I looked at our family's athletic pants on the boys and the jeans Kevin and I donned. But as under-dressed as we obviously were, would you believe that I did not ONCE feel like anyone was looking down their nose at us or possibly making snide remarks about how clueless we were!

Being the only foreigners there, we expected to be considered a little bit of the entertainment. But man, talk about being more in the limelight than I ever hoped to be! Noah was carried around by different relatives of Lief (to which he most of the time responded quite enthusiastically, responding with a wave to all of the new friends he was making from table to table). Everyone loved the yang wa-wa (western babydoll), and every time he returned he had at least one, if not two, pieces of large, round, hard candy in his fists, squealing in his obvious plea for me to open the wrapper. I must confess that I gave in several times, in spite of the unbelievable choking hazard it was, just to avoid his persistent screams. But after the 5th or 6th round I drew the line on the candy intake.

Seafood is considered the most formal food to serve, as it is more expensive and considered more of a delicacy. So our table was covered with hard-shell crabs, whole fish (bones, scales, fins all still intact, which is the norm here) and HUGE prawns. While this was not exactly the most convenient food for us to eat, as all of it required quite a bit of manual labor to actually ingest the meat that you wanted rather than all of the "extras", it did provide a great deal of entertainment for the kids. Each of the boys played with crab claws for quite some time and Karis had fun peeling and eating some of the huge prawns (shrimp are one of her favorite foods). I put the tiniest drop of bi jiu in my cup, Chinese "white wine" which is actually REALLY strong liquor--50% alcohol, I'm told, to taste. The worst drink I think I've ever had in my mouth! Kevin was glad that he didn't have to be concerned about me developing a taste for alcohol, even amidst such culturally stressful environments!

After we'd eaten, we really got to take center stage. Literally. Our family was called up to the MC with the microphone to sing "happy birthday" in English to Lief's grandfather. Luckily, we were prepped for this before hand, so the kids agreed to the deal and did a great job. The audience loved it. So much so, that the MC decided we should continue! He told Kevin next that he and I should sing a duet for the crowd (of 200 + people)! Now I'm not sure if there's some sterotype similar to "all African Americans can dance" that says that "all Americans can sing", but this MC obviously thought so. Mind you, NO ONE else was on stage singing, except the one cousin of Lief's who was a professional singer. That's right--her job is singing opera. But for whatever reason, the MC thought Kevin and I would just have a song in our hearts that needed to come out--without even having accompanying music! I assured both Kevin and the MC that this was definitely NOT the case (yes, on stage, in front of the whole audience), and we were saved by Eli! My more shy-natured child, who totally came through clutch for us all! He came forward and offered to sing one of his school songs for the crowd. So he did one verse of "Be Careful Little Eyes What You See", followed by Karis singing another verse of the same song, followed by Hud singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" in Chinese. The crowd loved them, and Kevin and I were off the hook. After the Von Trapp family performance, Kevin assured me that the next time we were in such a situation (please Lord, let it not be so!), we are GOING to sing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" whether I like it or not (this is our favorite 80's duet to belt out when we need a break-the-tension moment in our family). So guess we need to start the rehearsals?! Oh, and Kevin did his part wonderfully, holding the mic and having several opportunities to get language practice when he was put on the spot to tell a little about himself and his family and to offer several toasts to Lief's grandfather.

After eating some of the 8-tiered cake for dessert, which we were extremely thankful that it made it to the cake-cutting time, due to the fact that it was on the same stage where our wild hoodlums were running around and dancing for a good portion of the evening, we let the kids run around in the hotel hallways for a little while to expend energy in a place free from totally disrupting everyone else (or so we hoped!). The last part of our evening entertainment was the gift presentation. Our family (and no others--which I'm still not sure why), was called up on stage again by the MC to present Lief's grandfather with his bday gifts. We had brought two bottles of red wine (as suggested by pretty much everyone we talked to, as red wine is consdiered good for older people's health and you should give gifts in pairs) and the kids had all done some artwork and crafts to give. Oh, and Hudson found a huge leaf on the way to the party that he included in the gift bag. Once our presentation was complete, the van driver was called to come and get us (just after 8pm) and we were off to drive back home. We made it a little after 9, exhausted and smelling so strongly of smoke we decided to throw the kids in the tub for a quick wash in spite of the late hour.

Talk about an incredible experience and a long day! We're so hoping that our efforts to be there and take part communicated love to Lief and his family, and that our (no doubt, many) social blunders will be extended grace! We were so thrilled with how well the kids did, that we let them pick their reward the next day--which included McDonald's after church for lunch and the new ice cream that they have on their menus (blizzard-like with Oreos mixed in, oh, and a dollar-store equivalent toy that I think all 4 of have already broken!)

Fall Fun

2010-09-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

We are so loving this cooler weather that has blown in--and without the freezing cold that was hitting just about this time last year (which we all remember due to the fact that we had about 2 full weeks of really cold weather before the heaters were able to be turned on! Our first Fall in China--and daily in long underwear--that I'm pretty sure we won't forget any time in the near future!) We are making the most of the outdoor time and the break from our routine as there are quite a few national holidays around this time of year. On Wednesday, as I mentioned on our last posting, there was the national holiday of Mid-Autumn Festival. We were all off from classes, so we headed to the Water Park (which is a public park that has several bodies of water--some with fish and ducks). There are no water slides or spray grounds, but there is an entire area with rides that you can pay to have the kids go on and even a Ferris wheel. Kevin's friend Lief joined us for the adventure! The picture is of the kids on their favorite ride, one in which they spin around (slowly) and try to shoot rubber balls at the pirates on the ship in the middle.

The one thing I'd failed to take into consideration was the number of people who would be out on this holiday. The kids really handle all of the attention they get with their blonde curly hair and blue eyes when we go out incredibly well. But I must admit, Wednesday was pushing the limit for all of us. I wish I'd been keeping count, but I'm pretty sure that Karis alone posed with Chinese folks for at least 25 pictures in the first hour and a half we were there. Normally the people we meet here are most excited to have their pictures taken with the little boys (they generally prefer younger kids to slightly older, and also value boys over girls here culturally). So this was an especially strange day. The boys all had their fair share of posing, but Karis took the prize for the most photographed! We rewarded the kids for their patience and kindness by taking them to KFC for chicken nuggets and ice cream cones for dessert, finding a bench and dining outside the restaurant as we just couldn't get enough of the gorgeous weather! Wednesday evening, two of our couple friends came over to join us for dinner. We had a combo of Chinese food and Western, where I had prepared an Italian pasta dish beforehand and then we cooked two Chinese dishes together. A few of my friends here have agreed to teach me how to cook Chinese-style, and I think I'm starting to get the hang of it a little! I haven't practiced much, mainly because as much as our family has grown to love Chinese food, we already eat it for three dinners and several left-over lunches each week when our ayi cooks dinner on the afternoons that I am in class. So on the nights that it is "my turn" to cook, most of the requests are for more of our usual comfort-foods, including BBQ pulled pork, all sorts of pastas, or even just marinated chicken baked in the oven. Next week we will all be off for another week-long national holiday, including our ayi, so I'm thinking that will be my opportunity to practice my Chinese cooking when we are not all too Chinese-fooded out!

On Thursday, Kevin began teaching the 1st grade after-school sports program at the International School. Karis is THRILLED with this arrangement! Of course I didn't want to miss out on the excitement, so I got the younger two guys up from naps early and headed over on the three-wheeler to join in the fun of Kevin teaching 31 1st graders (well, 30 1st grades and Eli, who was allowed to join in since his daddy was the coach!) how to play basketball. Or rather than teach, should I say, direct the pent-up energy and try to keep anyone from getting seriously injured for about an hour?! The kids seemed to love it, and although it is not Kevin's first choice of where he would be spending his time, he really had a good time and is a total natural in coaching little kids! He is committed to doing the after-school program with the sports focus changing every several weeks (covering badminton, hockey, kickball, ping pong, and soccer) through the end of the school year. (Part of our scholarship agreement for the kids to attend is to put in several hours of volunteer work each week.)

Saturday was a total crazy China day--even considering how normal so many of the differences are seeming for our family after being here a year! We went to Kevin's friend Lief's grandfather's 80th birthday party. I am actually going to dedicate an entire post to that experience (that I will hopefully write later today after I get back from class), so I won't spoil any of the fun here!

Sunday we all desperately needed rest! So after going to the international fellowship, where Kevin and I again taught Karis' Sunday school class of 1st and 2nd graders, we returned home after grabbing McDonald's on the way for a special lunch treat. The kids once again got ice cream (a new oreo blizzard-type treat that we agreed, even DQ couldn't beat!) , their reward for incredible behavior during a really long day on Saturday! The Eli and I went to a birthday party for one of the little girls in his class. He had fun playing with the other kids in their courtyard type area (closest thing to a backyard here for us!) and enjoying eating fun western snacks from the import store (including real tortilla chips, ranch dressing, and brownies). Super fun weekend with a short week ahead of us, as Friday begins the week-long holiday here!

Change in the Air!

2010-09-20T05:25:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to believe that winter is just around the corner! This week, both our language school and the kids' international school has a day off on Wednesday, celebrating the national holiday of Mid-Autumn Festival. There are specific foods associated with all of the Chinese holidays, and this one is Moon Cakes. So this week, we've been dining on several kinds that I would never have guessed we would consume if asked about them one year ago! The kids' favorite is one with nuts and dates inside, but there are also ones with egg yolk (not sure how they're cooked, but look surprisingly raw, although I'm sure that's not the case!), red bean paste (which most people mistakenly think is actually chocolate until taking the first bite), and other such Chinese flavors! I vaguely remember this celebration last year, but honestly felt like we were in such a fog and such survival-mode, that this year is much more fun to learn more about the traditions and general practices that go along with this holiday. I've realized that since we've been here a full year now, a lot of things that struck me as really odd before now are much more normal. While this is a good thing, I'm also still wanting to be aware of the differences around me, not just be numb to sights and sounds that really are quite remarkable in their own way! [For example, on my 30-minute walk to take Hudson to pre-school on Friday, I noticed several traffic things that were sooooo different from anything you would see in the States! The first was a toddler sitting--no, make that half-squatting, half-standing--in the front seat of a car (obviously no car seat) while his dad (I'm assuming) was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other patting the boy's cheek (not watching the road--which you just DON'T do in Tianjin traffic)! I quickly noted the situation and shot up a quick prayer that they boy would make it to their destination in one piece! Right after this, I noted a man in the middle of a busy intersection, squatting on the ground next to his bicycle. He was not hurt, but it looked as if something was wrong with his bike. So rather than take it to the sidewalk area that was a mere 20 yards away, he choose to squat down where he could hardly be seen by the dozens of cars whizzing by him in rush-hour traffic! Amazing. Again, another prayer shot up on his behalf! Thirdly, I noted the number of vehicles turning RIGHT from the left-hand lane and the number turning LEFT from the right-hand lane! Again--something that you see very seldom in Texas traffic!]

We've also still been enjoying surprisingly pleasant weather (at least the temperature!). The last few days have been quite rainy, which is unusual for Tianjin--for which I am VERY thankful as our transportation becomes much more challenging in inclimate weather! It was raining again today when it was time for me to head to class, so I donned my huge rain poncho, purchased a few months ago by the vendor on the side of the road who sells all sorts of rain paraphernalia from the opened back end of his van. As I began my journey, I realized that my legs were still getting slightly wet and my poncho kept riding up to my knees, leaving my calves exposed to the elements. As this just would not due, mainly since I was wearing new jeans (purchased in Tianjin--no small miracle there to find jeans that not only fit by are a suitable style for my preferences!), I observed the other bikers around me and noted that they all had the front of their rain ponchos stretched out OVER the front end of their bike baskets (something EVERYONE in China has our of sheer practicality). Once I made the adjustment, I biked along much more quickly and dryly (if that's a word), and was torn between feeling a little bit foolish at having just figured out this little nuance of in-rain riding and also a little proud that I'd observed others and learned something in the process! Thankfully, my ride home two hours later after class was cool, but not so wet!

So enough contemplating the details of China-life. As far as updates on the Josephs, we again had a busy weekend--but very much enjoyed! Karis had a Field Day at her school on Thursday, which I helped out with. It was really fun to see her getting to play and interact with so many new friends! On Friday, we had a family movie night, watching a cartoon version of Ben-Hur that was checked out from the library. (You can see the picture of Karis with our bunny Bo watching together on the couch.) The kids loved the chariots and soldiers, and were intrigued by the story. Saturday we had friends from Dallas come in town to visit and encourage us, complete with gifts for both Kevin and me and the kids! We enjoyed time fellowshipping over some meals and sharing some of the highlights of the past year. On Sunday, one of our dear friends here came over to babysit so that Kevin and I could have a date night. We went out to one of our favorite Thai food restaurants and then to Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream afterward. Then we even had time to run by a new store here in town (H&M--which is apparently a pretty well-known brand even in the STates, but I'm embarrassed to say that I've only just learned of it in the last few months!) to do some shopping--a rarity indeed! (This is the origin of my new jeans, previously mentioned.) So fun weekend, followed up by another fun-filled week with lots of good friend time scheduled to happen. Counting down the days til our Dallas visit at Christmas time. Probably didn't help that Kevin and I went over our list of most-missed restaurants in Dallas during our date time on Sunday night. All I know is that I'd better start the fasting now.... :)

Eli's 5th Birthday!

2010-09-12T18:39:00.000-07:00

The Joseph family had another fun-filled weekend, focused on celebrating Eli's 5th birthday--his second bday to celebrate in China! After taking cupcakes to his classmates at school (there are 10 of them total, all super-cute, and I totally forgot to take a picture when I was there!) and enjoying time with him during his school snack time, I had a whole new appreciation for his teacher and her immeasurable amount of patience. I think all 10 voices were going at once during most of the half-hour I was there--all with their own thoughts, ideas, and topics. It was so fun to see and be a part of that aspect of his world for just a brief time, and I couldn't be more thrilled with the educational environment that he is getting to be a part of!

Friday evening, Eli chose to invite two of his best friends here and their families (one from his class at school and one from his home school co-op group he was a part of this past year) to meet us at the Trash Mountain park and have a pizza picnic dinner. There were 17 of us there (who were invited, and countless other curious Chinese families wanting to participate as much as we'd let them!), so the party was great and the playtime really fun for the kids. We used one of our favorite Chinese bday tricks--the exploding/singing flower candle--on Eli's cake (you can see it in the photo).

The weather this past week has been a lot cooler, and we are loving it! I hate to sound pessimistic, but the one bummer is that with this change in seasons, I am reminded that winter is right around the corner. And that fact honestly makes my stomach drop a bit! As much as we had to be thankful for this past year, Kevin and I both agree that the winter time was by far the hardest season for us, being so unaccustomed to the extreme cold and how difficult it made getting out of the apartment. I was thinking of how different my 30 minute walk to take Hudson to his pre-school will be while wearing Noah on my back in the Ergo carrier about a month (or less!) from now. We're trying to soak as much outside bike riding and exploring time as we can before the real cold sets in!

I know we're not the only ones thinking of the weather change. I noticed two different people out yesterday (both Chinese) who had similar circular marks on their bodies (one on their back and the other on her neck). I thought they might be some sort of tattoo, but then realized they were the marks left from "cupping"--a typical Chinese practice here when the weather starts getting colder. It's been explained to me that in order to rid your body of the cold air (which is thought to cause a huge number of health issues), you somehow heat up and put cups with steam in them all over the back side of your body. This supposedly works to suction out the bad, cold air. I don't totally understand the process, but it is apparently being widely practiced as many of our friends are fairly regular "cuppers"!

On Saturday, we had about 12 friends over (Chinese) for a dinner and movie night. We watched "Chariots of Fire" with Chinese subtitles, then had a great time of discussion afterward. Oh, and Kevin had arranged for us to have our own mini-Olympics before the movie time! We took turns shooting at targets (using one of the kids nurf guns), shooting baskets, and trying to roll a beach ball into a certain taped-off area (the hardest of the games!). Our friends LOVE playing games, so they all had a great time interacting before we sat for the movie. The discussion turned to more serious topics: life and it's purpose, what our motivation is for things we do, etc. At the end of the evening we felt like the night was a success in that everyone had had a great time and we are hoping to do a repeat again soon.

Sunday afternoon was spent having lunch with friends after church then heading home for Kevin to write a paper for school and me to prepare for the week. We had agreed that Karis and Eli could go outside for a "playdate" with some of our neighbors who we have just met. They are Korean twin sisters (the moms) who both have 8 year old daughters. Karis and Eli had a great time playing with the girls (who spoke a little bit of English and Chinese, too) and I had a fun hour and a half of language practice trying to communicate (in Chinese) with their parents! One of the things I've struggled with a little is how much time to invest in new friendships with neighbors, especially Korean ones. It seems that they are super eager to spend time with westerners (I think I had at least 4 or more invitations to do things with these two families just in our hour and a half of talk time yesterday!), but our time is so limited as it is! Also, there are still quite a few days I feel overwhelmed trying to figure out Chinese culture, and even with all they have in common, there are still a ton of differences in the Korean culture. All that to say, thinking of trying to dive in to learning and investing in yet another culture right now just kind of overwhelms me! And yet, how to have a balance of not wanting to be cold or disengaged with those who are brought around us. Hmmmm..... Sure there will be more on this dilemma in the future!

1st Anniversary!!!

2010-09-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

One Year!!!!!! Our family had a GREAT weekend celebrating our 1 year anniversary of our arrival here in China. It's so hard to believe that we got here Sept. 4 last year, and that a full year has already gone by. We had such sweet family time playing together and reminiscing on His goodness to us over this past year. So here's how we celebrated.

On Saturday, after Kevin finished up at the blind masseuse parlor due to wrenching his back once again, we took off for the Tianjin zoo--the kids' favorite spot and first choice for our family outing to celebrate on this special day. The zoo holds special significance for our family, as we chose where we live even partly because it is close to the zoo. One of our biggest challenges in moving to China is the lack of open, grassy play areas for the kids to enjoy running around. When Kevin and I took a "survey trip" here before our big move, we discovered the zoo and realized what a respite it was from the busy feel of the rest of this city of 11 million inhabitants. It has proven to be a place of retreat for our family (minus the small inconvenience of our family itself usually being considered one of the main exhibits and photo ops, often overshadowing even the most interesting of animals that live there!). So we felt that the zoo was a fitting choice of where to go on Saturday. We packed a pb&j picnic lunch and dined in style after seeing some of our favorite animals and even watching a little bit of the totally crazy show that goes on there (angry lions and tigers riding on the backs of horses, bears playing basketball, etc.).

While we were there, the kids even discovered a lollipop tree (as shown in the picture with Kevin). This is one of their favorite things to hunt for and has become a family tradition when we are out on "adventures". The kids still haven't totally caught on to their origin (except Karis, maybe!), and don't seem to be suspicious that there just happens to have one appear with the perfect number of lollipops for each child to have one!

After our return home and a short nap time, we had a family movie night (watching a new movie sent via care package--Lady and the Tramp!). We did a scavenger hunt for hidden dinosaurs, and each of the dinosaurs the kids found represented a point. For each point they received, they got the "privilege" of telling the family one thing that they were thankful for this past year they've spent in China. (I know--when they get even a little older this line of reasoning won't work--where the reward is "having" to tell something they're thankful for. But for now, I'm taking advantage of having at least 3 little ones who are usually competing for a chance to be heard over one another, especially at the dinner table where chaos tends to reign!!) They came up with some cute answers, I'll include a few of my favorites:

Karis--"New friends at school."; "Having 2 Chinese friends here at Yang Guang (our apt complex)"; "Lady and the Tramp"; "salad dressing in China" (we were at that time eating salad with dinner and she knows it's hard to come by, and usually requires me getting the dry mixes in care packages!)
Eli--"bikes"; "The Great Wall of China"; "the water at Yang Guang" (that he likes to walk past on our way to the taxi corner); "that we can find pizza in China"
Hudson--"the water cooler" (being a typical 3-year old and wanting to be silly rather than try to give a straight answer!)

We ate spaghetti for dinner, as that meal represents a great accomplishment for me, personally over the last year. My first attempt at spaghetti, a mainstay in our Dallas home, ended up a total disaster with me in tears about a year ago! After spending hours trying to follow a recipe and make homemade spaghetti sauce, we ate that night one of our worst meals here (no flavor, and I found out later, I unknowingly used ground pork rather than beef, giving it a much altered flavor). Over the past year, I've discovered the joys of cooking with tomato paste and lots of Italian seasoning (thanks to shipping over a large Sam's Club container when we moved!) to improve my homemade sauce. Still not Prego, but much improved on my initial attempts and once again one of my family's favorite meals! We had our favorite ice cream (with sprinkles and chocolate sauce on top to make them into sundaes) for dessert.

It was a fantastic weekend of much needed family time and even some rest thrown in. We feel so tremendously blessed to not only have survived our first year in this new place, but to feel like we are actually thriving as our roots continue to deepen and our love for this new community grows!

Full House

2010-08-31T19:05:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we set a new record--26 people over to join us for dinner on Saturday night! Several of our western friends have just gotten back in town after a summer in the States, so we kind of had a reunion at our place. Our apartment is not exactly made to hold that great a number, so we got a little creative in spreading out to find places to eat, but the evening went off with out a hitch (as far as the hostessing aspect goes) and with everyone seeming to have a grea time being back together again. It was so sweet to touch base with dear friends, as well as welcome a few new ones to Tianjin, too. We've had Sam and Charis staying with us this past week as they are getting settled in to a new apartment here in Tianjin. After spending the past year in a different city in western China, they are moving here to Tianjin and start language study at the same school Kevin and I are attending. We have been so blessed to have them in our home this past week! As you can tell by the pictures (Eli wrestling with Sam and Noah reading with Charis), the kids LOVE having them around and have gotten super-comfortable with them! Charis and I did a run to E Mart yesterday with Hud along for the ride, and whenever she would get out of sight he was quick to ask (with great concern), "Mom, where is Ms. Charis?" He was keeping close tabs on her for certain!

The other pictures of Hud with the punching gloves on are him showing off a new "gift" he got from one of his favorite people here--Ms. Barbara. Ms. Barbara's son (now a senior in high school) had those gloves that she gave him when he was 3, and she thought she should pass them on to Hud, with the understanding that he is to share them with the other kids. I'm still trying to figure out it the gloves actually soften a blow or add more force to it when he swings, but either way, the kids are loving playing with them (with Hud and Eli most often each wearing one and swinging away at each other--with the rule of no facial punching!), and they normally end up in bed with them, too!

On Sunday, Kevin went to Beijing for the day to watch a young Chinese pitcher throw and give his coaches and agents an evaluation of his performance. He took Karis along with him, after much pleading and some pretty impressive reasoning on her part, even though he knew the day would be long. They had a good time on the trip, but definitely came back with one tired little girl, and we've heard the first complaints this week coming from her about having to get up and go to school so early! I'm pretty sure once she's caught up on her rest, she'll be bouncing out the door as normal, but for now she's dragging more than her usual (yet still comes home with a smile and great stories about her day when she gets off the bus).

Kevin and I started our fall semester this week. I have my same teacher (which I am THRILLED about, as I love her teaching style and her friendship!) and Kevin has one new one and one that he had this summer--both of whom he thinks really highly of. So we're off to a good start!

The other big news is that Hudson is (as I type) at his first morning of pre-school! We walked the 25 minutes to a neighboring apartment complex where a western friend has organized for a Chinese teacher (who also speaks English) to teach a group of 5 little 3-year olds. Our plan is for Hud to go two mornings each week, and hopefully learn a great deal (of Chinese, mainly!) in the process. When we got to the door this morning he started off hiding behind the stroller, but then emerged, was able to manage a "Ni hao, lao shi" (which means, hello teacher) and then bounded into the room at the sight of the toys and things out to play with! He didn't mind at all when Noah and I walked back out the door!

Blue Skies!

2010-08-23T04:22:00.000-07:00

Last week ended up without any major incidents to report--thank goodness! Karis and Eli finished up their first full week of school, and both are still LOVING it! In spite of the early mornings and even the homework that Karis has every night, they are anxious to return each day and have LOTS to share when they get off of the bus. They even both learned a song in their Chinese class that they sang to Ayi today when they got home, to her great pleasure! We are super thankful that they are enjoying learning and making new friends like they are!

This weekend was a busy one with friends. We were planning on going to the baseball game on Friday night with a group of western friends, complete with a hot dog picnic dinner packed (and other traditional baseball food that takes a little hunting to find here in Tianjin!). Unfortunately, it was raining cats and dogs, which (fortunately, due to the amount we spend walking and on bikes!) doesn't happen very often here. We decided to switch plans and most of the group came to our place instead. I was very thankful for our large living room area, since there were about 18 of us dining together.

Saturday turned out to be a rainy day as well, and after a full week of school, the kids were pretty content with sticking close to home and just being together. With the older two being gone so much of the daytime hours, all 4 seem to have a renewed joy with being able to play together! Saturday night we did make it to the baseball game with a group of our teachers and other students from our language school. It was wet, but we still had a blast cheering on the Tianjin team in the last official games of the season. The kids, of course, watched a few innings and then spent the rest of their time running around the infield of the track located behind the baseball field. As you can see in the photo, Noah is keeping in line with the Joseph family tradition of loving baseball, even trying to swing at pitches tossed his way! In spite of a good amount of rain (at least from our Tianjin perspective), we had beautiful skies on Sunday and today, even being able to see blue and some clouds! I couldn't resist taking a photo off of our 11th floor balcony.

Sunday we had one of Kevin's summer school teachers and her fiance over for dinner. She believes the way we do about important things, and is hoping that her fiance will soon do the same. Unfortunately, he literally does not know one other person who is like-minded, thus the intro to Kevin with the hopes of a friendship beginning. I am so thankful for my husband's giftedness in language! While I am struggling still to get out more than a sentence or two in a row, he really is able to converse in a way that makes native-speakers feel comfortable. Talk about a blessing! We realize that one of the bigger challenges here in China is this: that so many of those who are like-minded with us on important things are female, with a huge gap in the number of males who also are like-minded. This obviously puts the ladies in a very difficult position, especially in a culture where marriage is SUCH a huge deal. If you're not married by the time you're 25, you can bank on facing tremendous pressure from your family. One of our struggles is how to encourage and instruct these young women as they ask our opinions on the matter...

On a different note, we're starting to think more about a return trip to Dallas at Christmas time as I look to purchase plane tickets this week! It's made Kevin and me talk about going back to the States and some of the changes we'll experience and feel in the process. We watched a movie the other night (our usual M.O is to rent a movie on iTunes to download and watch on the weekends) and both Kevin and I freaked out at two parts that probably none of you would even think twice about! The first part was when a young woman ran to a bathroom sink and used her cupped hand to get a drink of water from the faucet. We've become so accustomed to staying away from faucet water getting near your mouth, that both Kevin and I caught our breath at the sight! [I even noticed today when our Ayi was filling up our rabbit, Bo's, water bottle, that she used the bottled water rather than tap!] The second part that got our attention was when a guy climbed onto a bed to lay down with his shoes still on. Even though he was on top of the comforter, the sight of shoes anywhere past the first 3 feet of the doorway (which is our new normal, and all of Asia's, due to the incredible filth that is tracked in on your shoes from outside) made Kevin and I both let out an "Ugh! What is he doing?!" We've also see how the kids have gotten used to watching movies, but not so much tv programs. (We did just get cable, which allows us 20 something channels, including 2 kid channels--in Chinese, of course--and an English news channel. We were told by numerous people that this would probably help both us and the kids in our language progression!) When we let the kids watch a tv program and then call them in to the table to eat, their normal request is, "Can you pause it?", convinced that we will oblige (this is especially the case with Hud, the 3 year old)! We have to continually remind them that you can't pause a tv program (at least not ours!), to which we get many protests and arguments (again, mainly from Hud) before he is convinced that we are right! Ah, the transition phase continues...

Quiet House

2010-08-18T18:38:00.000-07:00

This week has definitely felt different than our normal routine! With the older two kids at school from 6:45am until 3:45pm, Hudson, Noah and I have been trying to figure out what to do with ourselves! We're having a good time getting more concentrated play time in together, but Hudson has also mentioned at least twice each day that he sure misses Karis and Eli. We are so thankful that our kids genuinely enjoy one another so much! For the past year they have been one another's constant playmates, so I think that each one of them is feeling the separation. Karis and Eli told me on the walk home from the bus stop yesterday that they are sad when they have to part ways in the morning and that they wish they were in the same class.

When they get home in the afternoon, things seem a little bit hectic as we try to figure out the new routine of hearing the details of everyone's day and getting homework done before dinner. Because they are having to get up just after 6am, we're trying to get them in bed earlier, too (by 7 or 7:30pm). And Kevin and I have been amazed at how exhausted we are by that time, as well! I have to confess that there has been a night or two this week that we've been in bed before 10pm!

So Hudson and Noah and I have been doing lots of outside play (as the weather this week has been in the lower 90's rather than upper)--especially baseball--and reading and crafts inside. Hud and I had a "date" to the international school library while Noah stayed home with Ayi--a first for us all! Ayi LOVED the one-on-one time with Noah, and I am so thankful to be able to leave him in such capable hands for a few hours at a time.

One of my favorite moments with Hudson this week was at the bank. He had found a caterpillar on the walk there, and proceeded to carry his new pet in his hand the rest of the distance. When we were in the bank, with caterpillar in hand, Hud sat down next to a woman who was there waiting. When the group of people gathered around us to look at the foreign kids saw that Hud was holding a caterpillar, they all kind of collectively freaked out. (I later found out that there are supposedly a lot of stinging caterpillars here, so the general consensus is to stay away from them.) The woman sitting next to Hud repeatedly asked him, "Ni hai pa ma?" (which means, "Aren't you afraid?"). Hudson, convinced he could communicate with the woman, looked at her and repeated emphatically, "CAT-ER-PILL-AR" enunciating each syllable as if trying to teach the woman to say the English word. The two of them went back and forth several times, each convinced that the other was going to catch on to their own native tongue and respond appropriately--which obviously did not happen! I, however, did get quite a laugh out of the whole situation, and was thankful at least for Hud's attempt to communicate in spite of linguistic differences!

A New Chapter

2010-08-11T23:57:00.000-07:00

The house seems so quiet! As I write, Hudson and Noah are taking their usual afternoon naps, but I don't have the company of my oldest two as they are at their first full day of school. Karis went to half a day of 1st grade at the Tianjin International School yesterday, and then again this morning got on the bus with Eli (in the Junior Kindergarten class) today for the first full day of school for the fall semester. I am realizing now the turmoil that most moms (I'm sure) face as they send their little ones off to school for the first time. But honestly, I'm wondering if my feelings aren't even more magnified considering how close our family has been this past year compared to our "normal" back in the States. All four kids have truly been my constant companions for the past 11 months we've been here, with the exception of leaving them with Kevin when I go to class 2 or 3 times a week during afternoon rest time and our occasional date nights out. So it feels like going from a TON of really concentrated time with them to having them gone from 7am til 4pm. Ouch! We're feeling their absence! This morning at the breakfast table after they had gone, Hudson looked around the table and exclaimed, "Only three! That's really bad!" Confused, I looked at the plate still full of muffins and fruit on the table, wondering what we might have only 3 of that was concerning him. When I asked him what there was only 3 of, he responded with, "There's only 3 of us here now! That's really bad!" When I asked him if he missed Karis and Eli already, he admitted that he did.

BUT the great news is that this is truly a completely answered prayer. We have been waiting and hoping all summer that the kids would be accepted and the scholarship would come through that would allow them to attend this amazing school. And it all happened. The day before school started--but it did happen! We literally found out Tuesday morning through an e-mail that the kids had been accepted and approved, and we took off out the door to catch a taxi to catch a train to make it to the Beijing subway to get into another taxi to eventually arrive at the international hospital there in order to get the kids annual check-ups (required by the international school). After getting everyone checked out and a clean bill of health all the way around, we made the return trip home (3 hours of travel each way, to and from Beijing).

The first photo is of the kids "hiding" so that we could get a taxi. We've noted that the taxi drivers in Beijing are particularly "cranky"--and they generally don't like having kids in their taxis. I think I've written before about having the kids hide so that they don't see all of them until they've stopped, we've gotten at least one adult in, and it's too late for them to turn us down! This time, Eli suggested that since we were in BJ, they should hide behind the nearest tree while snacking on the tortillas I'd just purchased at the nearby import store so that we could get a taxi more easily!! The kids (and Kevin and I!) were pooped and ready for bed when we got home, so we rushed them through bath time and bed time routines knowing that Karis had a big first day on Wednesday! I left for school with all 4 kids on the 3 wheeler at a little after 7am. Luckily, the school had the whole morning planned so that the parents were there at the school for meetings, filling out paperwork, and even joining their child for lunch, making the transition a really smooth one for the kids.

Karis LOVED every minute. When she walked in the door after school (Kevin met her for lunch and then biked her back home afterward) and I asked how her first day, she beamed a huge smile and responded with a super-enthusiastic "SO GREAT!" It was priceless, and went a long way in making this emotional mom get things in the right perspective, knowing that my kiddos are exactly where they are supposed to be and that they are most likely going to love every minute of being there!

This morning they started the bus route, so I walked Karis and Eli to our taxi corner (about a 10 minute walk away) where the bus comes at 7am to pick them up and then returns them there at 4pm. The bus, by the way, is HUGE! Not your "normal" school bus for sure. But reflecting on the Tianjin traffic and general driving, I'm really thankful that they are in the largest vehicle on the road, safely wearing a seatbelt (and hoping that this will help them remember what those even are, as we literally haven't used them more than once or twice during our entire 11 months of living here!) I've had a fun day with just Hud and Noah, going to the market, playing with Legos and our bunny Bo, etc., but it will take some getting used to not having the older two here every day! Again, our new "normal" is being redefined. . .

As far as updates on Karis' friend Adah, she is finishing up her first round of treatment of chemo there in Houston. The outpouring of love and offers of service has been amazing and so encouraging. The treatment has gone well so far, but we did just get word that she has developed a fever and had to start antibiotics again, which is a concern due to her severely compromised immune system. The whole family would so appreciate your continued prayers as they journey down this long and incredibly heart-wrenching road.

Tough Week

2010-08-08T00:29:00.000-07:00

This week has been one of our more difficult ones emotionally since we've been in China. We found out on Tuesday that our best friends here, Jason and Sara, had to take their daughter in to the hospital due to a fever and some strange arm pain. After hear her symptoms and finding her white blood count to be extremely low, the doctor at the hospital there in Temple, TX (outside of Waco, where Jason, Sara, and their two girls were with family on a two-month leave from China) wanted to have Adah, their 6 year old, tested for Leukemia. They found out that Adah does indeed have an acute and rare form of the disease (AML Leukemia), and she was admitted and immediately began pretty aggressive treatment. The family has since been moved to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, TX, where Adah will undergo treatment for 6 months or longer, with her almost two-year old sister, Claire, most likely to be her bone marrow donor (assuming she is a match, which is being tested right now as I write).

The news has shocked and horrified all of us here in Tianjin, and has broken our hearts for this whole family. The amazing thing has been to see how so many people have stepped up to help out--with everything from offering cars and housing, to wanting to help out financially, as the medical bills will obviously be huge.

On a personal level, the reality of the situation is still setting in for our family. Jason and Sara have been our best friends here, with the rare combination of both husbands and wives genuinely both loving spending time together, making double dates and family dinner nights part of our regular routine. Jason and Sara have truly been our kindred spirits here, as well as voices of wisdom, since they have lived here in China for about 8 years now. And Adah and Karis are the best of friends (who even allow the little brothers and sister to join in their fun), so the kids, too, are grieving the fact that their friends are not returning, at least for quite some time (we are hearing that it will most likely be a full 2 years before international travel would be permitted for Adah, assuming that all goes well with the treatment). Kevin and I have been able to stay busy, trying to coordinate logistics for our friends of letting people know what is going on and trying to help take care of details, both in TX and here in China, so I think the depth of pain is still to be felt. And yet the hole of missing loved ones already is still very much there.

The photo I'm including is of Karis' birthday celebration with Adah and her little sister Claire at the table. The family would so appreciate your prayers!

On a lighter note, our family had a fun Sunday (last week) celebrating Kevin's 34th birthday! We had our usual Sunday night pizza and Dr. Pepper for dinner, with Kevin's favorite brownie, pudding, and whipped cream dessert (thank you for that recipe, Amy B!). After eating the dessert the kids wanted to know how much longer we had to wait before it was some else's birthday again. . . :)

The kids also had interviews with their potential teachers this week at the international school. They both passed (whew!), and I got good reports from their teachers at the conclusion of the meetings. So now we're only waiting on the details of their possible scholarship (which is a necessary condition of them attending the school, due to the high cost of international school tuitions). Considering that school starts this week on Wednesday, I'm chomping at the bit to find out what the details are, wanting to so badly to plan and prepare. But alas, I think I am going to have to be patient until the last moment, trusting Him with the details! (And I'm realizing more and more that this is NOT my strong suit!)

On the way to their interviews, I overheard Eli in the back of the three wheeler talking with Karis. He told her that he wished he was a bird so that he could fly to Dallas! It was really cute--and not said with a sadness or frustration with China, but just a genuine desire to be in Dallas and see people and places that he misses. I followed up on his comment with a talk about our upcoming visit to Dallas this December, and it was really cute to see the kids all getting excited about people and things there. He's started praying at the dinner table before meals, "And God, please let the days go by quickly until we can go back to Dallas to visit."

The other pic I'm including is from the baseball game we attended last night. We went to cheer for the Tianjin team and spent time with Lief's parents who were there, as well. I think our 4 little ones drew more attention than the game did (if you can see in the background of the photo, more people are watching the picture being taken than the game!), and I captured just one of the many photo ops that our kids have, initiated by Chinese parents wanting to have their kids photo taken with a Western kid.

New Shoes and Baseball

2010-07-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

So our last few weekends have consisted of attending Saturday night baseball games, and this weekend was no different! I go armed with a ton of snacks and they kids come with bats, gloves, and whiffleballs in hand, ready to play in any open space they can find when they get bored of merely being spectators. Today they went to the game also sporting their newly purchased tennis shoes, some of our first (no, make that our VERY first) apparel purchases this side of the ocean for the kids (with the exception of a pair of socks or two)! We had quite the adventure yesterday, running around to find 3 pair of shoes that would fit the older three kids. I finally figured out the way the system worked. When you go into a store, they have quite a few shoes out on display. But these shoes are not just the styles that are available, they are actually the entire stock that the store has available. So rather than asking for something in a particular size that you see on the shelf, you literally have those shoes that you see on the shelf as your purchasing options. (I discovered this by trial and error, after I asked several times if the worker could find such and such shoe in a larger or smaller size. After getting several blank looks and a few phone calls to a mysterious but absentee supervisor, I figure out that all the shops worked on an as-you-see-it, so you can buy it basis alone! This actually made the process go a little quicker, as it greatly diminished our options. Especially since I was definitely opposed to buying pink or glitter for the boys! (I know, we're trying to acculterate to China, but we've gotta draw the line somewhere, right? And I'm smart enough to know what would really push the grandfather's buttons on both sides of the family and want to avoid that at all costs!!) Oh, and you only get one shoe at a time to try on (which is normally tightly wrapped up in saran wrap). Once you verbally commit to buying that pair of shoes, then they bring out the mate from some mysterious beyond!

So the kids are showing off their new shoes as they lay in the grass (that's right, I said "grass"!) at the track right next to the baseball field. The kids were so thrilled to have grass to play in, that we had a hard time getting them out of it! The Chinese kids around us kept asking me if they didn't fear mosquitoes, and I assured them that they did not. They were only too thrilled to have some soft green stuff to play in that they were willing to risk a few bug bites, of any type!

The picture with everyone in the concrete bleachers is the stadium that the baseball team played at previously, which was not nearly as kid-friendly (due to the sheer drop-offs at every level of the stadium!). We had a few friends attend with us a week or two ago when we went to a game at that stadium, but have since opted for the Sat night games at the one with grass.

The other photo is of the boys in the living room from our morning "cave building expedition". We decided that this was a good way to spend a Saturday morning when the heat is super extreme and the pollution especially bad, making outside play less than desirable! I'm still amazed at how we are affected by the "different" air quality here. Yesterday I really thought I was getting some kind of a cold because my throat and head felt so crummy after running around on the three wheeler with the kids while running errands. I keep thinking we'll get used to breathing here, but not sure how long that would take. I heard good advice from a friend today who said that one of her doctor's here in Beijing recommended leaving the country for a two-week period of time each year specifically for the purpose of allowing the pollutants in one's lungs to clear out. I thought this was good advice, especially if it lands us in some exotic beach location that has lots of fun and fruity special drinks!

Bo the Bunny

2010-07-27T04:38:00.000-07:00

This week we've decided to try again! Back in May our family added one to it's ranks--a small rabbit we named Rose. Unfortunately, her life span was much shorter than expected. I won't go into the details, but the short of it was that we did not supervise our kids playing with her closely enough! Her tragic demise was upsetting more to me than anyone else, but nonetheless, her absence in our family (even after only having her for about 3 days!) was felt. We told the kids that after talking a lot about how we handle animals, we would try again and let them get another pet rabbit. So now we have Bo who has joined our family! We are really hoping that he is not just another sacrificial lamb in order for our kids to learn an important life lesson in how to treat animals. But so far, he is living large, enjoying an indoor cage and as much food and water as he can handle (which is a far cry from where he came from!)

Kevin's baseball friend Lief took us along with a friend of his who knew about a fun animal market. It was absolutely incredible to see the number of animals, of all different types and varieties (reptiles, fish, small animals, cats and dogs, etc.). They even had cages of squirrels (which you never see out in the wild here!) and these huge trays full of truly disgusting worms all over (for feeding the fish).

The other photos are of our special breakfast this morning. We made "kooky faces" with our pancakes, idea courtesy of HighLights magazine (thank you, Nana!). I thought the boys did a good job, so I pulled out the camera. When Noah saw the camera, he didn't want to miss out on the action, so he started yelling "cheese" until I snapped his photo, too. What can I say, a blonde-haired kid in China is no stranger to having their picture taken!

Beach Trip

2010-07-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

This past week our family had the incredible blessing of a little get-away! We took off to a nearby city that was highly recommended as being a great vacation spot for families. We found a hotel that was near the beach and even had an outdoor swimming pool! Our team leaders here in Tianjin highly recommended that Kevin and I both take a break from classes and that our family try to head out of town for a few days as a way of getting in quality family time and also having a break from our normal routine here and the hustle and bustle of big city life. We gladly accepted their counsel, and had a great time relaxing and exploring more of China!

We even had the added blessing of my teacher, and closest friend here in China, join us for most of our time in Qing Dao (the place we were vacationing). Her family lives several hours by train from Qing Dao, and she was home visiting her parents during the summer break. So it was a pretty easy trip for her to come join us for our family adventure! The kids love having her along, and it was a great opportunity for me to spend more time with a dear friend, one who is newly like-minded on important things, as well!

The hotel we stayed in was a little off the beaten path, so we had our own stretch of "private" beach. The beach itself was really pretty, but had a huge amount of broken glass and other "hazardous materials" that made us all keep our shoes on the whole time. The 3 older kids' favorite part was going on adventures with Kevin, in which they would hike out on the rocks that jutted out into the ocean. Noah was pretty content just digging in the sand with his shovel and occasionally tasting a bite or two! The private beach part was a huge blessing, because just as we are in Tianjin, our family continued to be a spectacle wherever we went. Our "blonde beacons" shone brightly in every Chinese crowd--even those that we drew as people watched from the walkway above us as we played on the beach.

One of my favorite parts of the beach was the HUGE amount of brides who were there to take their wedding portrait photos. Our first day out to the water there was literally a line of brides waiting their turn to go out on the rocks to have their photos taken. And watching them pose was the best part. I don't think there was a single one who simply stood with a smile. Most of them had arms raised above their heads (see photo) or stood with their bodies and arms tilted kind of like an airplane! It was quite entertaining to watch!

Besides the beach, the kids had a ball at the swimming pool. There were obviously a huge number of foreigners vacationing there, because they even had music playing in English the entire time! I can't tell you how refreshing it was! We were even able to enjoy a western buffet breakfast each morning.

We took one day to go to Polar World--Qing Dao's version of Sea World. We were all surprised at how well it was put together, complete with dolphin and whale shows and even live polar bears and beluga whales! One thing that was a first--there was a portion of the park where you could pay a small fee and get a bottle with milk in it that was used to feed fish! There was a huge crowd around the shallow pool, all with bottles sticking into the top of the water where the fish were swarming around to drink! It was crazy! We found a secluded spot that was kind of like the park's reception area that had a window into the dolphin tank. I think the kids' favorite part was hanging out down there because of how much the dolphins were interacting with them! They would swim by and kind of stop where the kids were and you could even hear them "talking" with their dolphin squeaks. Really cool. My other favorite part was watching Kevin work his magic in order to get permission to leave the park entrance gate to go out and buy KFC for us to have for lunch. We didn't know when we entered one portion that you were unable to leave, and we had another hour and a half before the last show we wanted to watch but nothing except a few snacks to eat. Kevin was FINALLY able to convince the people working the gate (after being denied at the only other exit/entrance) that his kids weren't accustomed to the Chinese food inside (the only thing they were selling within the park gates), so he HAD to go out and get them chicken nuggets! After several calls to her boss, who we decided must be the GM or the owner of the whole park!, Kevin got the go-ahead to leave and still be able to re-enter! The whole scene was quite Chinese-ee, where everyone follows the rules to a "t". But hey, we got our KFC!!

A few other fun tidbits and major highlights. One was Kevin's language blunder--which happen very infrequently, especially compared to his wife's number of mistakes! At the pool, he got his tones wrong on one of his words and ended up asking for a "swimming cat" rather than a "swimming cap"! He got a few chuckles, but at least was understood. Another was my misunderstanding of a sign on one of the major roads when we were coming back from dinner in a taxi. The sign read "Qing Dao Party School". I thought it hilarious that some school was advertising itself so openly as a party school, assuming that academics were not being taken seriously, which is a huge shock considering the Chinese culture! Kevin explained to me, however, that it was more likely a statement on the school being aligned with the government here in China rather than a state of its social interaction. Oops! The third amusing thing is what we brought back as gifts for our Chinese friends here. (In China, when you go on trips, you are supposed to always bring back gifts for your closest friends. Usually, each region or province has food that it is famous for, so this is a very normal thing to bring back.) So the food that was recommended we bring was squid slices! So I went to the store and stocked up on dried squid slices, along with some shark slices (which I thought would be good for some of Kevin's baseball friends because of how "manly" the package looked with a shark on the front!) and other kind of dried fish slices. I'm so glad that they are tightly vacuum packed so I didn't have to worry about the smell escaping in our luggage and contaminating it all! Gotta love the cultural differences. Who knows, by the time we get back to the States I'll maybe be missing the squid slices of Qing Dao. . .